My husband cheated and she's pregnant! I feel so betrayed

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You make an excellent point, Cecilia_Dymphna: her parish priest should not be contacted as a means of “exposing” the husband’s family. That serves no purpose (and it’s likely the priest knows all of this anyway). I do think, however, he could potentially be quite important to establishing the chain of events and confirm that she’s a good wife, mother, etc.
 
He and his family are scum of the earth. She needs a scorched earth policy to get custody of her kids.
 
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Completely unsupportive of their daughter in law who has been cheated on by their son, who works at his mistress parents business and is the family’s sole bread winner. Lives on her in laws farm and probably up until a few weeks/ maybe a day or two thought they loved and supported her? She has been kicked out of her own house by the (lied to, bought and paid for?? idk) sheriff for leaving for the weekend???

And you think the in laws are good people?

Maybe you are thinking the whole adoption thing we discussed earlier is still on the table.

They are getting a DIVORCE. This is over. Her (former) husband was the one calling the police. You can’t tell me that was not a set-up; he had her phone cut off. They knew she would come back soon. This went from a “Get my marriage back on track” thread to a “I have wicked husband and in laws, help me save my kids” thread.

She needs to buck up quick. Which does not include sitting on the couch at her parents house. Her daughters are headed toward teenage pregancy and drug use. They will see how their father treats this son and new wife. I know, it happened to my sister and now my niece is having her third child with a third dude.

Hopefully she can blame her CDV charge on pregnancy hormones and you know…cheating husband.
 
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If you wish the OP well, STOP making these terrible suggestions.

When the OP is dealing with her husband and kids (and the mistress), she cannot afford to show any rancor. She CANNOT. Any hint of hostility, uncooperativeness, attempted parental alienation, etc is going to screw up her chances to stay in her children’s lives.

The OP’s (very understandable) outburst means that her husband can file emergency custody orders, restraining orders, and goodness knows what else. She needs a good lawyer, she needs friends and supportive family, she needs God to get her through this.

OP, I am so angry on your behalf, and I’m just an internet stranger! But when you are communicating with others, you MUST put aside your anger. Certainly don’t entertain any out of state moves, or seek to punish your husband.

I’m so sorry. This is dreadful.
 
A public defender and a family lawyer who will take bottom pay??

She is up against two older established and presumably financially secure parents of mistress and (former) husband? While her parents seem to be uninvolved. She needs a gofundme.

She needs the oldest, meanest lawyer in town. But I am guessing one or both of the other families have already hired him.
 
Absolute truth, heidi_storage. This poor woman is facing multiple criminal charges and is being investigated by the state. Doing anything that could be perceived as even remotely unhinged could have devastating consequences.
 
This approach will make the OP look like she is mentally unbalanced and corroborate the criminal charges she was given. Like it or not, even in cases of infidelity and deception, most states recognize the joint right of parents to parent their children, and this is the reality the OP faces. The events leading to criminal charges have seriously undermined the OP’s cause, and she has a tough hill to climb to re-establish the presumption of joint parenting.
 
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At this point, this is a matter of joint custody or him having full custody.

I said this would happen.
She has no idea what her husband is planning or is motivated by.

For all she knows he could be planning to leave her for the other woman. Hey, its the OW parents who pay his checks, they could promise to give a raise/pay under the table etc. for the extra child support he will owe.

Look, it is great the OP thinks she has the strength to keep her marriage together and stay with her husband, but it is not sounding like he is all that cooperative. What was said for an hour in the nursery? What are her parents telling him at work? She may not work there but she could be visiting.
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You do realize that the state has the legal capacity to cease her parenting rights, don’t you? What you’re suggesting will ensure the OP has no parenting rights should she follow through with your recommendations.

The husband and mistress are playing a dirty game, to be sure, and none of us here are in any way sympathetic to his cause. But providing wrong-headed advice that will cost the OP her children is not helping her or forwarding the discussion.
 
Your priest is neither bound by the seal of Confession in this instance nor federal privacy laws that would apply to a healthcare professional
Actually, a priest is always bound by the Seal of Confession regarding anything said to him in the confessional. 100% of the time.
 
Do not offer or solicit medical, psychiatric, or legal advice. Do not give advice that is contrary to civil law. Do not give advice to a minor that opposes the instruction of a parent or legal guardian. All such discussions should be directed to the proper authorities: parents, guardians, therapists, parish priests, or primary care providers.
 
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