My Husband doesn't believe

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IamNes

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I am so torn and it’s becoming a little difficult to have to deal with.

My Husband who actually was Baptized and Confirmed into the Catholic faith when he was younger is now Atheist as an Adult. Me, a new Baptized and confirmed Catholic and very much love being Catholic, makes me very Happy to be apart of the catholic faith.

I am so torn, he sat me down and stated that I support you and whatever makes you happy but if you keep talking ,or “Throw religion down his throat” it’s not what he signed up for.

Him coming to Mass with me on sunday, he stated he does it for me and not because he wants to be there,

I am going to pray that the lord brings him back to the catholic faith, he makes me feel like i can’t speak about my beloved faith when I am home. I attend mass because it’s so rewarding and my love for god is so deep. 😦

I don’t know what to do at this point but to pray about it, it truly hurts. I want to be able to share my love for God with my Husband but he wont have it ;/ my heart hurts so much.
 
IamNes said:
I am so torn and it’s becoming a little difficult to have to deal with.

My Husband who actually was Baptized and Confirmed into the Catholic faith when he was younger is now Atheist as an Adult. Me, a new Baptized and confirmed Catholic and very much love being Catholic, makes me very Happy to be apart of the catholic faith.

I am so torn, he sat me down and stated that I support you and whatever makes you happy but if you keep talking ,or “Throw religion down his throat” it’s not what he signed up for.

Him coming to Mass with me on sunday, he stated he does it for me and not because he wants to be there,

I am going to pray that the lord brings him back to the catholic faith, he makes me feel like i can’t speak about my beloved faith when I am home. I attend mass because it’s so rewarding and my love for god is so deep. 😦

I don’t know what to do at this point but to pray about it, it truly hurts. I want to be able to share my love for God with my Husband but he wont have it ;/ my heart hurts so much.
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Wow! That’s rough! It’s hard being “unevenly yoked”.

Praying.
 
That is an amazing grace that your husband comes to church to support you though he is an atheist.
For an atheist, to hear and see each Sunday things that are nonsense to him is extraordinary.
Be thankful for that, pray for him, and it’s up to God to lead your husband at a time that may become possible.

Certainly do not frustrate your husband by talking about religion.

An atheist can be as sincere in his beliefs as is a sincere Christian, and your husband is gracious enough not to try to convert you.

As a former Catholic, he knows, but knowing is not always believing and you cannot force that, only God’s grace can gift him with faith. Your husband is a remarkable man who loves you very much. His love and respect of you is God working in him with present grace.

Trust God and keep praying.

Yes, it’s lonely.
My husband is a lapse convert who is atheist.
If I want to drive him further from faith allI would need it to talk about religious matters.
He doesn’t go to Mass except for funerals, but he’s generous to others. That’s God’s grace in him.
 
Trishie said:
That is an amazing grace that your husband comes to church to support you though he is an atheist.
For an atheist, to hear and see each Sunday things that are nonsense to him is extraordinary.
Be thankful for that, pray for him, and it’s up to God to lead your husband at a time that may become possible.

Certainly do not frustrate your husband by talking about religion.

An atheist can be as sincere in his beliefs as is a sincere Christian, and your husband is gracious enough not to try to convert you.

As a former Catholic, he knows, but knowing is not always believing and you cannot force that, only God’s grace can gift him with faith. Your husband is a remarkable man who loves you very much. His love and respect of you is God working in him with present grace.

Trust God and keep praying.

Yes, it’s lonely.
My husband is a lapse convert who is atheist.
If I want to drive him further from faith allI would need it to talk about religious matters.
He doesn’t go to Mass except for funerals, but he’s generous to others. That’s God’s grace in him.
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That’s a beautiful response. Very encouraging for a sister in Christ. I pray that the Lord’s grace continues to work through all the husbands mentioned on this thread. God bless you.

KfG
 
I understand the struggle of not being able to share your faith.
Remember why you both were together in the first place, the love.
I believe that the way to go about it is to be a loving wife. I am sure he will be convinced by how you love and respect him.
It is hard and it takes patience. Just don’t keep thinking about it. Praying for you both.
 
Thank you for responding . Reading this , makes me feel more appreciative that my Husband at least respects me well enough to attend Mass with me . That, I consider a blessing . There was a time in Mass when we were hearing our father speak And I know his words touched him , for he grabbed my hand and smiled . That’s god grace 🙂

I will continue to pray, and if he’s ever ready , I will be there with all the support in the world .

You are correct in saying it’s up to God to lead him and grace him with gift of faith .

I trust in god very much to see me through.

God bless you ,

Nes
Trishie said:
That is an amazing grace that your husband comes to church to support you though he is an atheist.
For an atheist, to hear and see each Sunday things that are nonsense to him is extraordinary.
Be thankful for that, pray for him, and it’s up to God to lead your husband at a time that may become possible.

Certainly do not frustrate your husband by talking about religion.

An atheist can be as sincere in his beliefs as is a sincere Christian, and your husband is gracious enough not to try to convert you.

As a former Catholic, he knows, but knowing is not always believing and you cannot force that, only God’s grace can gift him with faith. Your husband is a remarkable man who loves you very much. His love and respect of you is God working in him with present grace.

Trust God and keep praying.

Yes, it’s lonely.
My husband is a lapse convert who is atheist.
If I want to drive him further from faith allI would need it to talk about religious matters.
He doesn’t go to Mass except for funerals, but he’s generous to others. That’s God’s grace in him.
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I love him very much and will be praying for him , I put it in gods hands, he’s a good man that wants to see me Happy.

Thank you for your prayers ,

God Bless you

Nes
CatholicPen said:
I understand the struggle of not being able to share your faith.
Remember why you both were together in the first place, the love.
I believe that the way to go about it is to be a loving wife. I am sure he will be convinced by how you love and respect him.
It is hard and it takes patience. Just don’t keep thinking about it. Praying for you both.
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keenforgod said:
That’s a beautiful response. Very encouraging for a sister in Christ. I pray that the Lord’s grace continues to work through all the husbands mentioned on this thread. God bless you.

KfG
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Thank you for your Prayers , God Bless you .
 
Your husband sounds a bit like I was. I had fallen away completely and didn’t even go to Mass with my wife (except for Christmas ans Easter). I considered myself a Pagan, but was an atheist before that. At least your husband goes to Mass with you.

But don’t try to ‘push’ religion on him, it won’t work. Show him through the example of how you live your life and keep him coming to Mass. Don’t criticise him or argue about religion with him, just lead by example, pray for him and trust in the Lord. That’s what my wife did and it worked with me. It took about 10 years, but in the end I came around.
 
IamNes said:
I am so torn and it’s becoming a little difficult to have to deal with.

My Husband who actually was Baptized and Confirmed into the Catholic faith when he was younger is now Atheist as an Adult. Me, a new Baptized and confirmed Catholic and very much love being Catholic, makes me very Happy to be apart of the catholic faith.

I am so torn, he sat me down and stated that I support you and whatever makes you happy but if you keep talking ,or “Throw religion down his throat” it’s not what he signed up for.

Him coming to Mass with me on sunday, he stated he does it for me and not because he wants to be there,

I am going to pray that the lord brings him back to the catholic faith, he makes me feel like i can’t speak about my beloved faith when I am home. I attend mass because it’s so rewarding and my love for god is so deep. 😦

I don’t know what to do at this point but to pray about it, it truly hurts. I want to be able to share my love for God with my Husband but he wont have it ;/ my heart hurts so much.
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ive been saying this prayer for one of my friend who im really close… cos god heard saint monicas prayer for her son st augustine (u can read about it, st monica prayed consistanly) and i believe that god will answer my prayers too… u cant force someone to believe all u can do is pray for them …

Eternal and merciful Father, I give You thanks for the gift of Your Divine Son who suffered, died and rose for all mankind. I thank You also for my Catholic Faith and ask Your help that I may grow in fidelity by prayer, by works of charity and penance, by reflection on Your Word, and by regular participation in the Sacraments of Penance and the Holy Eucharist.
You gave Saint Monica a spirit of selfless love manifested in her constant prayer for the conversion of her son Augustine. Inspired by boundless confidence in Your power to move hearts, and the the success of her prayer,Iask the grace to imitate her constancy in my prayer for (name-s-) who no longer share in the intimate life of Your Catholic family. Grant through my prayer and witness that (he/she/they) may be open to the promptings of Your Holy Sprit, and return to loving union with Your Church. Grant also that my prayer be ever hopeful and that I may never judge another, for You alone can read hearts. i ask this through Christ, our Lord. Amen.
 
You are very lucky to have such a good man in your life. Whether he shares your belief or not consider yourself among the lucky few to have auch a great partner.
 
child_of_God85 said:
You are very lucky to have such a good man in your life. Whether he shares your belief or not consider yourself among the lucky few to have auch a great partner.
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He’s a very good Husband , for that I am thankful for . I will pray about it and if the time every comes for him then it will happen.

🙂

Nes
 
Brendan_64 said:
Your husband sounds a bit like I was. I had fallen away completely and didn’t even go to Mass with my wife (except for Christmas ans Easter). I considered myself a Pagan, but was an atheist before that. At least your husband goes to Mass with you.

But don’t try to ‘push’ religion on him, it won’t work. Show him through the example of how you live your life and keep him coming to Mass. Don’t criticise him or argue about religion with him, just lead by example, pray for him and trust in the Lord. That’s what my wife did and it worked with me. It took about 10 years, but in the end I came around.
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Thank you for your response , pushing religion on someone is something I will never do . My husband,if his time ever comes I will always have open arms for him . He’s a good man , I will pray about it . I’m happy to hear that you have come to open your heart to god … How wonderful .

I will continue to bring him with me to mass of course , and lead by example for sure .

Thank you for responding , god bless you .

Nes
 
IamNes said:
He’s a very good Husband , for that I am thankful for . I will pray about it and if the time every comes for him then it will happen.

🙂

Nes
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Don’t blame him, don’t criticise him, and don’t push him. Bear witness by the example of how you deal with others, and by your devotion to your Faith. In time he will join the dots. Then when the time is right, and his heart is open, the Holy Spirit will call him. It might take a long time, but It will happen eventually. Don’t give up.
 
Congratulations on your Baptism and Confirmation. I was also confirmed Saturday night and I’m excited too.

The first thing that comes to mind for me is, what exactly does he consider you, “throwing religion down his throat”? I’ve heard that expression and I’ve probably used it when I had my years of hiding from God. What does he find obnoxious about your religion. Do you beg and plead? Do you constantly tell him what a sinner he is? Do you constantly tell him he will go to hell? Or is it maybe he just doesn’t want to hear about religion, whatsoever.

If it is the latter, that simply isn’t fair. Wives that have golfers for husbands have to hear about golf all the time, those that fish and hunt, their wives have to hear about that. It seems more than a bit unfair if you can’t come in and say, “that was a great mass. Father had some excellent points that will make a difference in my life.” If that’s the case, then he has more problems than not believing.

Last January, I started Inquiry with a Man named “Steve”. Steve’s wife had grown up going to Catholic school and had decided to convert about 5 years ago. Steve had been an atheist and had made fun of his wife for the first few years until he started to notice the differences in her. Steve was also confirmed Saturday night at the Easter Vigil. His wife and her friends had been praying for Steve for 5 years and he came home.

Patience is key but you should also find out what is bothering your husband. If you are doing something obnoxious, you need to know it and correct yourself. If he is being overly sensitive, he needs to know it. You can’t walk in the door and say, “I have been to a place that I can’t mention and things happen there that I cannot speak of and I’m happy for unspoken reasons.”
 
Brandall said:
Or is it maybe he just doesn’t want to hear about religion, whatsoever.

If it is the latter, that simply isn’t fair. Wives that have golfers for husbands have to hear about golf all the time, those that fish and hunt, their wives have to hear about that. It seems more than a bit unfair if you can’t come in and say, “that was a great mass. Father had some excellent points that will make a difference in my life.” If that’s the case, then he has more problems than not believing.
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I disagree with you. Having been there myself, the last thing I would have wanted to hear is my wife coming in from Mass, saying, “That was a great Mass” and then going on to talk to me about stuff that I thought was pretty much mumbo-jumbo. I would probably have just switched off, closed my ears and thought, “Give it a rest please”. It would not have benefited me one bit, or have moved me in that direction at all, quite the reverse actually.

As for spouses having to hear about something simply because you’re interested in it, it doesn’t always work like that. I follow football (or ‘soccer’ as you all call it in the USA) while my wife has no interest in it and disapproves of football supporters and their general.behaviour etc. She would simply not want to hear about a great match I’d been to see, or a great way-day, so I wouldn’t talk to her about it as it would actually annoy her.

There is no point trying to talk to someone about something that they are not interested in, no point at all. At best, all you’ll get is that person closing their ears, not listening, nodding politely and hoping that you’ll shut-up soon.

Unless they want to talk to you about it, then trying to talk to an atheist about God is a waste of time since they more or less put God in the same bag as Santa Claus and the tooth-fairy.

However a great many atheists do value compassion and kindness. Display that to people around you and this, along with their knowledge that you are a Christian, will do more to draw them towards God than any discussion about things they have no interest in.
 
I know how you feel OP. My husband was a strong Christian (Anglican) for 10 years then poof after last Easter he abandoned the faith. He still believes in Creation, being moral-minus his lust here and there for other women, believes in the devil, fallen angels etc. but has issues with God himself mostly the Old Testament and some “failed” (he thinks) prophecies of the second coming.

I hope too one day he will come back to the faith. There is nothing I can do but be a good Christian and a good wife for him to see we aren’t just “brainwashed” masochists.

You have my sympathy as I am with you on this one. 😦
 
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