My husband has joined the Unitarian Universalist Society

[love4mary]

Attend a few services with him at his church but don’t take the children as this may confuse them (depending on their ages of course). Find out what it is that is attracting your husband to this form of worship. Try to dialog with your husband about his faith choices, again without the children being present as this may confuse them.

Pray a novina to St. Monica as well. It was through her prayers that her husband and son were brought home to the True Church of Jesus Christ.

 

[Rightlydivide]

You are seperating because he has left the Catholic Church for the Unitarians??
Shame on you.

 

[DDClark]

I’m like your husband. I recently stopped going Mass and am now attending UU services. I really can’t offer insights into his thinking, but I can offer this:

Talk to him. Get a babysitter and go out to dinner. Have some coffee at a Starbucks and ask him what is going on. Listen. Do not argue. Do not blame. Do not nag. Listen. When he is finished, say something like, “I love you.” And that’s it.

It doesn’t matter how heretical you think he is or how wrong you think he is. Just listen and say “I love you.”

I understand you are scared, but please don’t make the mistake of rejecting him.

cheese_sdc is speaking the truth. Calm yourself, trust God, listen to your husband, don’t criticize (no matter how much you want to), and make sure he knows you love him.

Never, never assume he knows. We all want to be told and believe we are loved (in spite of our differences). Communication is so important in situations like this.

I speak from experience, and it was a hard road to recovery for our marriage.

Blessings,
ddc

 

[1234]

I’m like your husband. I recently stopped going Mass and am now attending UU services. I really can’t offer insights into his thinking, but I can offer this:

Talk to him. Get a babysitter and go out to dinner. Have some coffee at a Starbucks and ask him what is going on. Listen. Do not argue. Do not blame. Do not nag. Listen. When he is finished, say something like, “I love you.” And that’s it.

It doesn’t matter how heretical you think he is or how wrong you think he is. Just listen and say “I love you.”

Welcome to UU!

All the advice on this thread is excellent. I have nothing to add (for once!)

 

[why_me]

The UU Church, and yes they do call it a church, is one of the safest places to explore spirituality I know of. They saved my life when I left JWs. I explored Catholicism from there! If he decides to leave the Catholic Church the problem does not lie with the UUs. Because I know for a fact that the UUs tolerate even Catholic in their ranks. The UUs are welcoming and open and highly intelligent people for the most part—college educated and generally well read and well traveled, perhaps he is feeling the need to expand his community or maybe he is just plain lonely. You need to look at the UU website because they are more Christian than other, just very liberal. If the services of the UU church and your Mass are at different times it may be possible to go to both together.
Personally I don’t think you have the right to speparate from your husband because of this. Maybe there is more going on than his search for spirituality. Maybe he needs a faith friend. That should be you. Sometimes the husband-wife relationship gets put on a back burner when there are 5 kids involved. Maybe you both need some alone time with God–together, without the kids and the parish.
uua.org/

The UU’s will also never condemn another’s person faith or religion as certain catholics on this board do. Maybe this man just wanted intellectual peace with god and desired to embrace humanity from a humanist-christian perspective. You are right, UU’s are great people who care about humanity and the human condition. They are also very active in social justice and equality. I give the UU faith two thumbs up…

 

[cheese_sdc]

Welcome to UU!

All the advice on this thread is excellent. I have nothing to add (for once!)

Thanks! I’m finding it… interesting. I’ve been attending for a few weeks and finally spoke with the minister Sunday. I told him that I was a “refugee from Catholicism”. :lol:

It’s very different from the Catholic services I’ve attended all my life, and I’m not sure how long I will stay, but for now, I kinda like it.

 

[nowlivinglife]

Again, thanks to all. I have read and taken everything to heart. I am not attacking the UU Society. I guess my biggest dilema is his dibelief in Christ. I can only hope and pray that this is a “mid life crisis”. To me our vows included Christ making us one. I am trying to be understanding and staying out of his way while he searches. He knows that my feeling have nothing to do with my love for him (if that makes any sense). I almost think that I an so hurt that I don’t always think clearly. That is why different views are so helpful. I don’t want to throw away 21 years because I am so stubborn! I just try to keep on keeping on.

 

[PaulDupre]

Look on bright side. You’ll never have to fight about doctrine, since the UUs don’t have any.

It could have been a lot worse; he could have become a Mormon.

God love you,
Paul

 

[crowonsnow]

I guess my biggest dilema is his dibelief in Christ. I can only hope and pray that this is a “mid life crisis”. To me our vows included Christ making us one.

Not being religious I can’t really identify with you on that one. But I do know that most people on the planet do not believe in this Christ god either. I can’t imagine there being anything seriously wrong with these billions of people just because of that. They have families, kids, lives, dreams, hopes, etc. just like their Christian counterparts.

More importantly I would think any god worth its salt would be more interested in the welfare and happiness of families and kids than it would loyalty from its followers. If it isn’t, what’s it really good for?

So keep hubby close. Sounds like you’ve got a pretty good thing going there.

 

[Lee44]

I am at an absolute loss. I feel like the ground has been pulled out from under me. We have been married for 21 years and have 5 children. I teach at the Catholic School where are 3 youngest attend and am a Eucharistic Minister. This just seemed to appear. I have done research and it just seems anything goes there. I am wondering was has gone. I feel like the children and I are no longer good enough, that our God is not good enough. I’m not sure I even feel comfortable with him being around.
He tells me he is just searching. I am scared.

Thanks for listening. Any advice would be welcomed.

This sounds like spiritual growth on your husbands part and good for him. No need to worry, from your post your husband has become a “seeker” and there is nothing wrong with that.

God Bless

 

[Daniel_Marsh]

You are in our prayers, the text that applies to this is I cor 7

13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.

14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

He says, he is searching, then take him up on that search by supplying good reading material. Look at a copy of City of God by Augustine. Rebuilding a lost faith by stoddard catholictreasures.com/cartdescrip/10629.html

Maybe he needs to get involved in starting a ministry in your church like fixing cars for those who can’t.

talk to him to find out what is missing in your church and look for ways to meet those needs.

 

[Lee44]

You are in our prayers, the text that applies to this is I cor 7

13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.

14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

He says, he is searching, then take him up on that search by supplying good reading material. Look at a copy of City of God by Augustine. Rebuilding a lost faith by stoddard catholictreasures.com/cartdescrip/10629.html

Maybe he needs to get involved in starting a ministry in your church like fixing cars for those who can’t.

talk to him to find out what is missing in your church and look for ways to meet those needs.

Maybe he don’t wanna be a Roman catholic no more, that does happen. oh my