My husband is missing something

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erazo

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Please help me pray for my husband. He apparently is missing something, make make his heart complete. He believes he did not experience life before marriage…but is afraid to let go. I guess you can say he wants the best of both worlds. I am sorry to say…I can not hold on much longer.

I know exactly what he is missing… the love for God! At times I think he is gets it… other days I feel he feels in control.

Please help me pray that he finds his missing piece to complete his heart (according to God’s Will).

Love you all!
 
Erazo, I mean this in kindness…

From following your posts, it seems to me that what your husband lacks is character.

He cheated on you. He keeps finding just the right thing to say to keep you clinging to hope, stringing you along, all while not giving up his adulterous ways. He knows your weaknesses and is playing them like a harp. He wants to keep things comfortable for himself, keep you immobilized, and not have to pay the price for what he has done.

Keep praying for him, no doubt. Pray for him to grow up and become a man. But stop listening to the things he says to keep you holding on to hope. Start protecting yourself. Hope is good and necessary, but there comes a time when it is foolish and can be used by those with no morals to manipulate you.
 
Praying for you. I agree with the pp…from experience in regards to “stop listening to what he keeps telling you.” ❤️ hugs to you, but I hope your husband gets held accountable to you and to God, and stops focusing on himself. This needs to happen. He can’t live with one foot in each camp. It’s not right and not fair to you.
But you are definitely in my prayers!
 
Duskyjewel
You are very right…I have let go and have become my own person. Control over me has ceased. I am living life…doing the things I always wanted to do. ie play softball, dodgeball, vacations with friends, dinner dates with co-workers…come and go as I please (while he ponders about life and being fulfilled). Let me tell you… he is a proud man, what he did goes against his “persona”. He would pride himself in being a “good man”. I honestly see how he hurt himself more than he has hurt me. (lost and confused, seeking something he can not grasp yet) He was the family’s pride and joy! I just can not help but feel sorry for him. Especially becuase life (God) has been good to him. Everything he sets out to do he has accomplished. Now he is learning that he took advantage of his good fortune.

As for me…I am sure I will be ok… God has proven to me, he is by my side.

Thank you my friend for your sincere thoughts. I trully appreciate it.
 
It sounds to me like you are right, he has everything he ever wanted but is missing the 1 thing he truly needed.

Pray for him but protect yourself…

There is a song on the Casting Crown’s Disc Lifesong called “Stained Glass Masquerade” that probably seems appropriate to what your husband is feeling… oddly enough there is a Casting Crowns son about what you are going through on their website right now called “Slow Fade.” They are a Protestant (Baptist) group but oddly enough many of their songs have some pretty Catholic themes to them.

Joe
 
You’re not what I think of as bleeding any more. You seem to have become more your own person, and are taking more responsibility for yourself and your own happiness. Please God your husband will catch up. He needs to stop focusing on his failure. It sounds as if he’s still acting “entitled”.

Now that you are stronger and not dissolving around him he can’t look down on you for sometimes being an emotional mess…which men do. You have shown yourself worthy of respect by having more respect for yourself. Is he not responding to this, or just focusing on himself still?

I do ask God to help him to the maturity he needs so that he doesn’t remain a victim in his own mind (missed out on something…haven’t most of us) or ‘entitled’ because he was his family’s darling, but that he also matures. If he were able to, you might end up with a marriage that was stronger and more mature than it ever has been, but by the sound of it he needs to move on that soon or it will be too late. Holy Spirit, if he is open to change, then bring him to change soon.

God bless
 
Trishie, I suspect you meant revolving? either this is the most poignant freudian slip I ever read, or you’re exceedingly insightful and clever: (which I suspect is true either way, trishie.)
you are stronger and not dissolving around him
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yikes.

erazo, don’t let yourself get distracted. don’t go back to dissolving and revolving. continue and increase the good things you’re doing for yourself.

jwashu’s advice is excellent: ***
Pray for him but protect yourself
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monicatholic said:
Trishie, I suspect you meant revolving? either this is the most poignant freudian slip I ever read, or you’re exceedingly insightful and clever: (which I suspect is true either way, trishie.)

yikes.

erazo, don’t let yourself get distracted. don’t go back to dissolving and revolving. continue and increase the good things you’re doing for yourself.

jwashu’s advice is excellent: ******
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No it wasn’t a slip, but both concepts are good…appropriate. Revolving’s good too!

You made me laugh out loud!
 
jwashu said:
There is a song on the Casting Crown’s Disc Lifesong called “Stained Glass Masquerade” that probably seems appropriate to what your husband is feeling… oddly enough there is a Casting Crowns son about what you are going through on their website right now called “Slow Fade.”
Joe
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Wow… the songs really hit home. Thanks!

This was something I wrote in my Prayer Journal.

Have you ever felt tired of loving someone so much? Tired of not receiving what you have put in the relationship. Tired of reasoning with them only so they can remain clueless. Tired of being supportive and feeling obligated to be so. Tired of being in the same state you were months ago….IDLE. My heart is not aching…it is just tired. erazo
 
I don’t know anything about you, but I will only offer that the sacrament of your marriage cannot be broken. That being the case, you must trust in God alone. Have unconditional love for your husband - like the love God has for you. This doesn’t mean that you suffer abuse, but it does mean that you don’t put a box around your love and say that when he steps outside it he is banished or should fade away. Seek counseling - not on a website.
 
erazo said:
Please help me pray for my husband. He apparently is missing something, make make his heart complete. He believes he did not experience life before marriage…but is afraid to let go. I guess you can say he wants the best of both worlds. I am sorry to say…I can not hold on much longer.

I know exactly what he is missing… the love for God! At times I think he is gets it… other days I feel he feels in control.

Please help me pray that he finds his missing piece to complete his heart (according to God’s Will).

Love you all!
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How old is your husband and how much can he bench? If he is committing adultery maybe he needs a Catholic male to meet him at a gym on open spar night to “explain” a few things to him.
 
Norseman82 said:
How old is your husband and how much can he bench? If he is committing adultery maybe he needs a Catholic male to meet him at a gym on open spar night to “explain” a few things to him.
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Best. Post. Ever.
 
Hee-hee. You know I hate to admit to this…but our relationship has changed in a positive way. We have regressed and have become good friends.

So we do kid around and I tell him… I think you won’t open your eyes to reality until you get hit with a 2x4!!! So I am not the only one who thinks that!
 
**Would much suggest you attend **www.retrouvaille.org

You speak of living your own life, going on vacations without him and dinner dates with friends… it seems some kind of counseling is in order.
 
kage_ar said:
**Would much suggest you attend **www.retrouvaille.org

You speak of living your own life, going on vacations without him and dinner dates with friends… it seems some kind of counseling is in order.
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I have suggested that to him. However…I am not sure he has found himself yet. I trully believe he has a inner struggle… he needs to find happiness within himself before he can offer me happiness.

Through all this…you can say I was and have been a supporting wife. Allowed him to enjoy life as he wished (free Will!!)…I realized however, he was the only one living life. It is my turn now. As for my husband…perhaps he should be the supporting husband, if he wishes to be so.
 
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