J
julia1234
Guest
I thought I would pop back in here well over a year later. The help here at the time was priceless, and that last post was very helpful! (I think I had PM’d back).
I am divorced now, a few days before what would have been our 28th anniversary, but not after a few more rounds of opening the door, and seeing he was still being deceitful. He wanted to come back home finally at one point and said he was no longer seeing her, but then I found out he still was—la de da de da. Another red flag was him sending very sweet and loving texts, but then the next second he would lash out as he had been doing during the fake reconciliation.
It has been an awful thing to go through but to have him back would have literally made me crazy, I am confident of that. Looking back at the depth and detail of the deceit is overwhelming. I have been vigilant to keep our communications text only, and short and to the point only concerning our son and any logistical things that need to be communicated. I think it has protected me from him drawing me back in, which he would have had the power to do until very recently (and even now in certain moments I would still be vulnerable!?! It’s a long process this de-coupling, from my side anyway
I thank God that he has actually become a better father! My son is doing great and sees his dad two or three days a week (I let him take him when he wants–it works for all of us). We have both been polite through this so I am grateful for that as well. My son is still at his Catholic school (I was able to get assistance to pay). He is stronger in his faith than I am in mine at this point. I have no idea how the child of an adulterer works that parent image out in his mind.
The scariest thing right now is I don’t have a career but I do have a plan, it is just going to take time, and if it doesn’t work out, I am getting training where I will be able to have a sort of decent full time job when the time arrives that I need it.
Anyway, thank you Catholic Answers for being here.
I am divorced now, a few days before what would have been our 28th anniversary, but not after a few more rounds of opening the door, and seeing he was still being deceitful. He wanted to come back home finally at one point and said he was no longer seeing her, but then I found out he still was—la de da de da. Another red flag was him sending very sweet and loving texts, but then the next second he would lash out as he had been doing during the fake reconciliation.
It has been an awful thing to go through but to have him back would have literally made me crazy, I am confident of that. Looking back at the depth and detail of the deceit is overwhelming. I have been vigilant to keep our communications text only, and short and to the point only concerning our son and any logistical things that need to be communicated. I think it has protected me from him drawing me back in, which he would have had the power to do until very recently (and even now in certain moments I would still be vulnerable!?! It’s a long process this de-coupling, from my side anyway
I thank God that he has actually become a better father! My son is doing great and sees his dad two or three days a week (I let him take him when he wants–it works for all of us). We have both been polite through this so I am grateful for that as well. My son is still at his Catholic school (I was able to get assistance to pay). He is stronger in his faith than I am in mine at this point. I have no idea how the child of an adulterer works that parent image out in his mind.
The scariest thing right now is I don’t have a career but I do have a plan, it is just going to take time, and if it doesn’t work out, I am getting training where I will be able to have a sort of decent full time job when the time arrives that I need it.
Anyway, thank you Catholic Answers for being here.