My Husband

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cheezey said:
:eek::eek::eek:

sounds like a couple I know. Between them, five, yes, five marriages. None remained married,
of course.
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Sweet Scott. :bigyikes: Both of the set I’m discussing are on their second marriages. Some of the fights I’ve witnessed… ugh.
 
Back2Basics said:
Sweet Scott. :bigyikes: Both of the set I’m discussing are on their second marriages. Some of the fights I’ve witnessed… ugh.
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oh yeah! and one screamed at the other for having an affair, an unethical one at that, when the other was having an affair at the same time…

:eek:
 
cheezey said:
oh yeah! and one screamed at the other for having an affair, an unethical one at that, when the other was having an affair at the same time…

:eek:
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Uhh… is there such a thing as an “ethical” affair?
 
Dacinom said:
I am sorry you are going through this. I have a question, would you mind saying a prayer then writing a new post about your husband’s good qualities? I am not trying to be silly but be totally honest. I believe in order to be helpful it is good to get as much of the whole picture if at all possible. Do what you can to focus on his good qualities. Even if in the future your marriage is not meant to be, it can still help.

If I came to this forum in a bad mood and complained about my husband then everyone here would think that he also has narcissistic personality disorder! It is common for people frustrated in a marriage to focus on the bad, I do the same thing! I just want to be fair since when I read your post it seemed to me you were frustrated and perhaps venting. Does he really show NO respect to ANYONE? That seems a bit of an exaggeration to be about any human being, but just want to make sure.

Is it possible your husband is lonely for you? Much of your post seemed he was longing for your company, your attention or your approval. Again, my apologies if your husband really does have a personality disorder, but on the off chance he does not it would do you and your marriage good to try and focus on his good qualities. God bless.
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First off, I appreciate what you’re saying and his good qualities and the potential I thought I saw is what has kept me trying for five years, but if he’s lonely for me and my approval
he has a funny way of showing it when he ignores me for hours on end and then accusese of “not giving a sh*t,” his exact words, when I consistently end up occupied elsewhere. 😦
 
Dacinom said:
I am so sorry. Thank you again for sharing and please be assured of my prayers. Hopefully he will be open to some kind of marriage retreat or renewal? Some people don’t like counselors, hoping he opens his heart to making it work. In the meantime do all you can to focus on the positive…tell him you love him, tell him he is a good father, tell him he has a good sense of humor! Don’t lie, be honest in the good things.

I had difficulties in marriage and while I could not change my husband’s personality I have to admit I was making things even worse. Try love, love and more love. Your husband needs love, not just from you but from God. God loves your husband so much, Jesus died for your husband, Jesus yearns to be close to him.

You obviously want to try to make it work or you wouldn’t have posted here. I hope this helps just a little. God bless you and please take care as best as you can.
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I’m trying… I really am. I have done everything you suggested already… I’ve done everything short of caving to this hypocrisy. 😦
 
Back2Basics said:
The entire household naively believed that it would solve at least some problems. Frankly, there are times I wonder if he only married me for sex and a tax break. 🤷
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Can you get yourself out of this? You’re not required to live with an immature, spoiled child, which he sounds like. And if he does have NPD, then…yeah not even sure what to tell you, but it probably won’t get better.
 
Don’t waste anymore of your life on this guy, seriously. Are you financially secure enough to leave? Also, your kids don’t deserve to be around this nonsense. They deserve a happy mom. You deserve to be happy.

Repeat to yourself that you deserve to be happy.
 
Et_Cetera said:
Can you get yourself out of this? You’re not required to live with an immature, spoiled child, which he sounds like. And if he does have NPD, then…yeah not even sure what to tell you, but it probably won’t get better.
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I don’t have any real options right now, unfortunately. I’m trying to get a meeting scheduled with my pastor, whom I hope can maybe give me some direction. I have no job, no money, and no place to go. Luckily, no kids of my own, either, yet.
 
Back2Basics said:
I don’t have any real options right now, unfortunately. I’m trying to get a meeting scheduled with my pastor, whom I hope can maybe give me some direction. I have no job, no money, and no place to go. Luckily, no kids of my own, either, yet.
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Oh, if there are no kids involved then at least you can get out more easily. I wish you the best, but please don’t let people talk you into staying with someone who treats you like garbage. Can you stay with family?
 
Et_Cetera said:
Oh, if there are no kids involved then at least you can get out more easily. I wish you the best, but please don’t let people talk you into staying with someone who treats you like garbage. Can you stay with family?
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Not really, for two reasons: 1. As much as my mother and I love each other, we cannot live in the same house. 2. She lives out of state anyway, which would mess up my residency for school… and school is all I have going for me. I’ve got a 4.0GPA right now; this is the absolute best I’ve ever done, and I can’t afford to put it off for a year because of that and because of my loans. 😦
 
Back2Basics said:
Not really, for two reasons: 1. As much as my mother and I love each other, we cannot live in the same house. 2. She lives out of state anyway, which would mess up my residency for school… and school is all I have going for me. I’ve got a 4.0GPA right now; this is the absolute best I’ve ever done, and I can’t afford to put it off for a year because of that and because of my loans. 😦
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Awesome GPA! Are you in med school?
 
Et_Cetera said:
Awesome GPA! Are you in med school?
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Thanks!
Lol no, I don’t have the stomach for that. I’m a History major, contemplating a double major in English and a minor in Creative Writing, or concentration or whatever.
 
Oh, that’s so cool! I wish you the best of luck. Stay strong until you can get out of this situation. You definitely don’t deserve this.
 
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