My husband's infidelity gave him herpes - now what?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Faith03
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
F

Faith03

Guest
Recently my husband and I have been trying to heal from his infidelity. Unfortunately he contracted genital herpes. How do we have an sex life without exposing me to this infection? We are in our mid-fifties and I have gone through menopause and can no longer have children. Can we use a condom to prevent the disease from being spread since it wouldn’t be to prevent a child?
 
Sit down with your doctor. Herpes is annoying, but, it is not a dangerous condition (except in childbirth, that is not a concern for you). Most adults have the herpes virus, it is very manageable.
 
I am sure there are some people who have a low pain tolerance. IN GENERAL, cold sores on the eyes, mouth, genitals, anus, are not debilitating painful.
 
Yeah, this “Herpes! NBD! Everybody’s got it!” notion is a little curious. NOT everybody has it–something like 60% for HSV-1 (this is the cold sore kind) and 20% for HSV-2, isn’t it? I mean, it’s not the end of the world to get herpes, to be sure, and it’s manageable, but we really shouldn’t be so casual about diseases that can cause a lot of suffering.
 
I’d suggest educating yourself. Type 1 can make sores on your genitals and Type 2 can make sores on your mouth or eyes. The types do not differentiate. Few people get the testing done to determine their type.
 
I suggest seeing a doctor. There are antiviral meds that can limit an outbreak. He wouldn’t be contagious all the time, just around the time he has an outbreak.

A visit to the doctor would let you know how to avoid infection.
 
Thank you all so much for your advice and suggestions. I will definitely see a doctor. God has given me the grace of forgiveness. It must be a grace because it seems to be hard for some to understand. I have always had it. I can’t stay mad at anyone for anything for more than a few minutes. Especially if there is remorse but even without it. God must have known I would need it now. I am hurt terribly and my self esteem is non-existent but this offers me a chance to increase in humility and for that I am thankful. If our relationship continues to heal and develops into a warm and loving union again, and condoms are not permitted, then I will place myself in God’s embrace and if it is His Will for me to also share in my husband’s suffering than “His Will be done.” I am not a martyr but maybe that suffering could be used for the conversion and healing of my husband’s soul. A price I am more than happy to pay. Thank you all so much. You are all so generous and kind. Thank you!
 
How do I find out for sure if condoms are ok for medical reasons?
 
Condoms do not provide protection against the virus as the blisters often occur on areas that are not encased by a condom, including lips and eyes. Even if condoms were morally allowed, which they are not (the bioethicist at your Diocese will confirm or call the NCBC https://www.ncbcenter.org/about-us/contact-us/)

Your physician will talk to you about medications.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top