My Husbands Talking

  • Thread starter Thread starter momof2angells
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Annie said:
I see what you are saying, and that certainly happens in marriages! However, I do think that my marriage would be in better shape had I tried discussing certain problems with my husband rather than simply offering them up all the time.
Click to expand...
I think this is where “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” kicks in, which is essentially what your previous post boils down to.
 
Edward_H said:
I don’t doubt that things can be hard after many years. But there is always simple that can be done each day toward the hidden intention (we share with God each morning) of having you and your husband resemble Jesus Christ at the end of your lives.
Click to expand...
Wasn’t Jesus pretty emotionally expressive and not really given to silently suffering with the people he was close to?

If you were talking to him, you’d know where you stood with him. Take, for example, “So, could you not watch with me one hour?”

I think it’s often going to create a lot of problems with creating spousal unity if we don’t actually know what the other person is thinking and feeling.
 
OP,

Am I right in thinking that you have a lot of trouble getting your husband to listen to your concerns?

The big problem with his big wall o’conversation may not even be the fact that he is talking so much, but that you are not being heard.

If that sounds right to you, maybe it would help to have occasional short (very important!) focused family meetings, where the two of you meet to discuss and come up with solutions for a limited number of concerns. I don’t mean for you to do what your husband does (filibustering), but to have an actual exchange of ideas. It might be helpful to announce the current business in advance, so that each of you has a chance to come up with solutions. If you come up with a solution, move forward with it, and if you can’t find a solution within a limited period of time, schedule another meeting in a week and talk again. We often just need time to get clarity. I suggest not to keep talking if you can’t get an agreement within 10 minutes. Just plan to talk about it later.

I also recommend the (secular) book “How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids”. It has some bad language, but it’s ultimately a very inspiring story about a woman improving her relationship with her husband.
 
Oh, I don’t know…“let the dead bury the dead”.

does that sound very expressive?
 
I think there is a golden mean, somewhat, to be struck between these two perspectives. 🙂
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top