R
Riani
Guest
Hello all,
It’s been quite a while ere I engaged with this community – having lurked for a while.
After 5 years of travel, this Easter I’ll be confirmed in the Catholic Church “Joining the Tiber River Swim Team” as my sponsor puts it.
However, due to my personal circumstances this a fairly unique step for me. Because
1 I will become un-excommuncated (from a latiae sentiae penalty, if anyone cares).
2. Am highly afraid of falling away from the faith – unlike my earlier spiritual life.
3. Theologically far more liberal than my Catholic brethren here.
4. Am a protestant-turned-atheist-turned-Catholic.
So, why am I where I am?
The Rosary and the Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.
Why am I posting I guess?
Well, it’s time I told my story and got advice from my betters on the road ahead.
I was baptized in a protestant church at age 12 of my own free will. It was a vaguely sacramental thing and I had real faith at the time, but it was “shallow roots.”
5 years ago on my birthday, a young catholic boy at my school died. I paid attention particulalrly because it was my birthday. As the counselors gave out information for his funeral mass they briefly mentioned in passing that half an hour before a Rosary would be said. I, not knowing the kid well, but wanting to do something for my community went home, made, learned, and prayed the Rosary that night.
So began my devotion to the Rosary. That Thanksgiving my devotion had grown so intense that my parents bought me a “Franciscan Crown” rosary. Although I didn’t have it blessed, I prayed it regularly, for quite a while.
I became a debater in high school, and quickly became either the first or second most liberal person on the team in almost every sense. Marxist, Pelagian, Focault reader. You could almost pick your poision. I was well respected in my school although I wasn’t say sexually or drug-active or a member of the majority religion.
The first year of high school (one year after the boy died), my best friend and I got into an argument about faith, he defending the atheist side. Somewhere during this debate, I lost touch with the rosary as I traded the theology of prayer for one of unformed apologietics. Four long bitter years later, I broke at senior year of church camp under the weight of theodicy – I raged at the starlit sky and cursed the Almighty for 3 hours. I went to bed and awoke a self-concious atheist of the Hitchens/Dawkins clan.
I now attend a small college and lo and behold a discerning seminarian was on my debate team. He took my under his wing leading me through some Aquinas (whom I already loved and was one of my chief sources against my friend), but I was able to resist him with relative ease. Until the Sisters came.
A pair of sisters came to our college’s coffee shop and I went to listen to them – one was a former prizewinning marathonist and the other a soon-to-be famous chef. My teammate invited me to go to Adoration with the Sisters afterwards. I conceded, thinking it’d be “interesting” to see this fairly famous devotion.
I had a real encounter with Christ in the Eucharist. An experience to this day I cannot even try to doubt. As a debater, this disturbs me. As a man of (new) faith, I am awed at the grace I was granted. To say more is inadequate, yet it deserves more than I can give. (I hope that makes sense). Adoration is now my favorite devotion, though I don’t go as often as I should.
I started going to RCIA, added a theology major, and have been walking towards the Sacrament dearest to me ever since. The debater who encouraged my journey is now my sponsor, and I look forward to seeing his “sanctified smirk” (as I call his smile – jokingly of course) on the day I am confirmed. My life has not been perfect, I am full of sin and flaws. But confession awaits, and I pray to the Almighty that I have the strength to make a good confession.
I hope all is well with you and yours in your journey of faith and I would be grateful for any prayers and advice.
Pax Christi,
Riani
It’s been quite a while ere I engaged with this community – having lurked for a while.
After 5 years of travel, this Easter I’ll be confirmed in the Catholic Church “Joining the Tiber River Swim Team” as my sponsor puts it.
However, due to my personal circumstances this a fairly unique step for me. Because
1 I will become un-excommuncated (from a latiae sentiae penalty, if anyone cares).
2. Am highly afraid of falling away from the faith – unlike my earlier spiritual life.
3. Theologically far more liberal than my Catholic brethren here.
4. Am a protestant-turned-atheist-turned-Catholic.
So, why am I where I am?
The Rosary and the Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.
Why am I posting I guess?
Well, it’s time I told my story and got advice from my betters on the road ahead.
I was baptized in a protestant church at age 12 of my own free will. It was a vaguely sacramental thing and I had real faith at the time, but it was “shallow roots.”
5 years ago on my birthday, a young catholic boy at my school died. I paid attention particulalrly because it was my birthday. As the counselors gave out information for his funeral mass they briefly mentioned in passing that half an hour before a Rosary would be said. I, not knowing the kid well, but wanting to do something for my community went home, made, learned, and prayed the Rosary that night.
So began my devotion to the Rosary. That Thanksgiving my devotion had grown so intense that my parents bought me a “Franciscan Crown” rosary. Although I didn’t have it blessed, I prayed it regularly, for quite a while.
I became a debater in high school, and quickly became either the first or second most liberal person on the team in almost every sense. Marxist, Pelagian, Focault reader. You could almost pick your poision. I was well respected in my school although I wasn’t say sexually or drug-active or a member of the majority religion.
The first year of high school (one year after the boy died), my best friend and I got into an argument about faith, he defending the atheist side. Somewhere during this debate, I lost touch with the rosary as I traded the theology of prayer for one of unformed apologietics. Four long bitter years later, I broke at senior year of church camp under the weight of theodicy – I raged at the starlit sky and cursed the Almighty for 3 hours. I went to bed and awoke a self-concious atheist of the Hitchens/Dawkins clan.
I now attend a small college and lo and behold a discerning seminarian was on my debate team. He took my under his wing leading me through some Aquinas (whom I already loved and was one of my chief sources against my friend), but I was able to resist him with relative ease. Until the Sisters came.
A pair of sisters came to our college’s coffee shop and I went to listen to them – one was a former prizewinning marathonist and the other a soon-to-be famous chef. My teammate invited me to go to Adoration with the Sisters afterwards. I conceded, thinking it’d be “interesting” to see this fairly famous devotion.
I had a real encounter with Christ in the Eucharist. An experience to this day I cannot even try to doubt. As a debater, this disturbs me. As a man of (new) faith, I am awed at the grace I was granted. To say more is inadequate, yet it deserves more than I can give. (I hope that makes sense). Adoration is now my favorite devotion, though I don’t go as often as I should.
I started going to RCIA, added a theology major, and have been walking towards the Sacrament dearest to me ever since. The debater who encouraged my journey is now my sponsor, and I look forward to seeing his “sanctified smirk” (as I call his smile – jokingly of course) on the day I am confirmed. My life has not been perfect, I am full of sin and flaws. But confession awaits, and I pray to the Almighty that I have the strength to make a good confession.
I hope all is well with you and yours in your journey of faith and I would be grateful for any prayers and advice.
Pax Christi,
Riani
