My Life has been destroyed

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ineedofmercy

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Hi guys it’s been awhile for me
I know life is not over till it’s over and life itself is a gift
But my life has gotten much worse and idk what to do
In June my acne spiked and got infected
I have some of worst acne on the planet and I’m not exaggerating
I couldn’t move my neck or arms or lay on my back
I had to witness all my friends,family,and strangers watch this happen to me
My face looks like Freddy Kruger and I grew a beard just to cover but it has bald spots from scars
The scars on my face are dime sized or bigger
Even with treatment idk how it’ll look
I’m on accutane and the pain is much better
Great doctor and caring friends
But I know I will never get married now it’s just very unlikely
My sadness I had before is just worst
I’m addicted to porn I hate it
I’m considering becoming a priest but I don’t want to just because I think I’m too ugly to do anything else
I have no dream job or real passion
I just like helping other sad people and being a good friend

Any advice
My brain is having a hard time accepting priesthood because all I want is just hold hands with someone and be in love
But now I wouldn’t let anyone date me

Thank you for reading
Pray for me
And pray I can get the strength to pray more
 
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I am sorry that you must be in mental anquish over all the physical pain. And emotionally it must be very rough. I would suggest discussing these feelings with a Mental Health Therapist. You may want to look into some spiritual counsel from a Priest. Especially about your addiction to porn.
 
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Already on it and it’s working I just hope it stays after
I’m sorry you have this too
I can google severe acne and still rarely find a picture as bad as mine
 
I know it makes it really, really hard for you socially, but it’s just a medical condition.

Don’t take it as a verdict on yourself, or a life-long sentence.

Whenever I see a very beautiful person and feel jealous, I remind myself that God is not interested in their looks - He’s much more attracted to a beautiful soul. I try to be that beautiful soul for God. Yes, I fail often, and miserably, but by focusing on that, rather than my looks, I’m making progress.
 
I had acne for a long time up until a year ago, when I started making my own cold cream (Galen’s recipe) and it went away. I think it was because I was using commercial acne cleansers. I would recommend it, but I think it’s important to check with your dermatologist first. Bentonite clay is also great for all skin types and is 100% natural.

Try praying the rosary. I know it’s helped a lot of people with pornography addiction. Many have said that after praying it a certain amount of time, the temptations completely go away. But do not think that if you feel tempted, that you are being punished. It is actually the opposite! By resisting temptation, we gain more merits and that increases our glory and happiness in Heaven. God allows us to be tempted for this reason. Pray the rosary daily, make time for it and Our Lady will take you on as her spiritual child. Praying the rosary also helps us to love Jesus more, because through the rosary, we also experience the Passion.

As for your vocation, please read what St. Alphonsus de Ligouri says about a true vocation: Texts of St. Alphonsus on The Discernment of Vocation

May God bless you in your life and give you peace and rest from your suffering. Amen.
 
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My son had severe eczema from the time he was 3 mths till 8 years.Very hard times .Finally, finally he was admitted to hospital…received antibiotics introveniously (after years of taking them orally) and within a couple of days his eczema just cleared up.
Within a few weeks he had put on weight and had grown.
Just some thoughts.
 
Hey man,

You say you have no great passion but ‘just helping sad people and being a good friend’ is probably the best we can do on earth! It basically what Jesus did for us! About these dream jobs eh… Well i think most of us on this forum just work our butts off labouring around to pay the bills… I know I do 😉 as for the acne, yeah it sounds tough, but in the end, even the good looking people… In the end we’re all maggot food until we get our glorified bodies for all eternity… And that one will have no acne
 
No. I had it. Life gets better. My skin is as clear as a glass of distilled water now
 
Scars don’t necessarily mean you’re all out of luck with the chicks. The biggest problem will be the hit to your self-confidence. The acne might eventually fade, but the hit to the self-image is a lot harder to heal, and it will sink you faster than any pimple ever could. You gotta fight that. Be realistic, sure. I’m a huge proponent of being realistic, but don’t ever start wallowing and thinking it’s all over. Nothing is over until you’re dead and buried.

The lack of a job and the lack of passion are other big problems, but only because they seem to be adding to the destruction of your self-confidence. Don’t let it be like that. The truth very few people will tell you:

Most people don’t get a “dream job”. Most people don’t get to spend all their time chasing their “passions”. Most people work normal jobs they don’t like and spend time on hobbies they enjoy, but don’t have a burning passion for doing. You can still have a good life, be an interesting man, and find a good woman. But you can’t have any of those three things if you let your self-confidence tank and start wallowing. It’s good to vent, but don’t dwell on it. Negative thinking has a horrible effect on our brain chemistry and it literally destroys a man if it’s left unchecked.

Just keep your chin up. You feel like you’re ugly? So what? We’re all ugly. We’re men. Men are supposed to be ugly. Some girls won’t like you? So what? Those girls wouldn’t like you if you were ten feet tall with the face of an angel. They’d like being seen with you and they’d like the way you look, but they wouldn’t like you. They wouldn’t love you.

I’m not going to blow smoke at you and say there’s tons of women out there just dying to go out with a guy with bad acne. It’s possible you won’t ever get a wife. Some of us don’t. But I will tell you this: If you let this destroy your self-confidence then you will definitely not be attractive to any woman, including the girls who will overlook your scars. Even if you aren’t really confident, tell yourself that you are confident and pretend to be confident. Fake it till you make it, brother.

Chin up. Eyes forward. You’re a man. Don’t let something like this break you. You’re too strong for that.
 
My brother was on Accutane (Isotretinoin) for cystic acne. Tell your doctor that you’re feeling depressed as this is a potential side effect for this medication.

My brother’s acne did clear up and aside from sporadic cysts he’s okay. In your late 20’s or early 30’s you can contact a dermatologist to fix the remaining scars. Overall, most will heal within 10 years.

Interestingly, Isotretinoin was cited as helping a patient with Cystic Fibrosis. It decreased overall mucus secretions and resulted in fewer lung infections 🤔
 
@ineedofmercy

It is rare for anybody to be nearly as cruel of a judge of our physical beauty as ourselves.

I will pray for you at Adoration brother.

Your life has not been destroyed.
 
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My Dear,

Prayers said for you.

I’ve prayed for you, whenever I’ve seen you posting.

Take heart, dear young one.

You try so hard, and I can see it in your posts.

Don’t be so hard on yourself.

Give everything a chance to work out, o.k?

God bless you! ❤️
 
I find that the more I like someone, the more beautiful they become to me. Likewise, people’s internal ugliness also has a way of revealing itself, even if they are beautiful on the outside. Don’t lose heart. Offer your suffering to Jesus on the Cross. He also felt extreme physical agony. It may be difficult, but I think it might be good for you to volunteer somewhere. Do some good for the world so you can feel better about yourself. You might have some negative encounters with people, but you also might have some positive ones. Just a thought. You are in my prayers.
 
I’m going to give you two different replies, OK?
  1. Como hombre (As a man) (Because I see that you are not a very young guy, since you talk about growing a beard to cover up the problem):
So, what?! We are all ugly, in this sense. We don’t want to look “precious” do we? I know of badly disfigured men that didn’t let that problem control their lives. Some are married. Some aren’t, yet.

I have a chronic condition. It will NEVER get better, no matter what. It will only get worse and worse. And, I’m still a young man, not some old guy who’s ready to hang his hat after a long wonderful life. So? Am I supposed to give up? HECK NO! Our Father gave me a chance, so I’m going to make the most out of it.

I say to you (in this line of reasoning): We are not supposed to be able to “chose our crosses”. Imagine that! Everyone would choose to look like a Greek god, to be able to sing like Dean Martin and have the charisma of a Clark Gable. We as imperfect beings are bound to know suffering, personally, sooner or later. It makes us stronger and yet more humble at the same time.
  1. As a Catholic: If you are serious, and I think you are, who are you to say that you are “ugly”? You were made in the image of the Lord, my brother!
Think of the example of Brother Masseo, who joined San Francesco d’Assisi (maybe I’m getting the name of the Brother wrong, it’s late and I’m very tired, but the case remains the same). He was a very, very handsome young man when he decided to live the life of a man of God. His “cross” ended up being, in part, to renounce his own superficial beauty. And, after years of penance and constant prayer, when that beauty was long gone, he was truly humbled and he was brought closer to God that way.

Think of Santa Clara d’Assisi. They say that she was one of the most beautiful girls in that part of Italia. And, she came from a rich family, too. Santa Clara, and her sister, decided to follow the “poverello”, in order to learn how to get closer to God. And they left the world behind!

The Lord doesn’t take “consolation priests”. Men who say to themselves: “I have very little to offer. So, I might as well become a man of the Church”. We owe Him, and His Church, our very best!

But, I must say… something troubles me: Don’t you think you have more, much more to offer, other than your face, to your future wife?

I like to think of myself as an ugly, manly and elegant man. I like my voice and I wouldn’t trade places with anyone. Why be your worst enemy? Cheer up! Buck up! We already have the Evil one as an enemy! We do not need any more adversaries.

My brother, in the end we all have to work with what we have.

The Lord made me good at thinking about things and working with words. That was my craft. I do not know why that is, it’s not my place to understand the Divine plan, but it was always that way. That I know. So, I’ll use that to serve Him. So, for the rest of my life I’ll dedicate, whatever talent I may have, to praise Him.

What are you good at? You must be good at something. Anything. Use that to serve your call to get closer to the Lord!

CONTINUED
 
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You were not meant to dwell in vice, you were meant for loftier things! Even the great Dante Alighieri assures you of this in his masterpiece. Overcome your obstacles. Be the master of your own instincts! Nobody said life was going to be easy. Right?

And, to be honest… I wouldn’t have it any other way, my brother in Christ.

God bless you.
 
I am so sorry to hear this. Keep your head up, women usually care more about personality than looks. It is possible God could be calling you to the Priesthood.
ineedofmercy said:
My brain is having a hard time accepting priesthood because all I want is just hold hands with someone and be in love
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You might want to consider becoming a monk in a religious order, maybe a 3rd order Franciscan. As for your porn addiction, I know you have heard it many times before, but never stop praying. Pray unceasingly. Constantly think of Jesus and pray the Jesus prayer.

“Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy upon me, a sinner.”

The fact that you have ambition to pray is God’s grace changing you and transforming you into a saint. Embrace it and ask the saints to pray for you.

I will be praying for you.
 
I’m almost 30, and I still have acne breakouts. One of my ex-girlfriends, she has pretty severe acne scars, but I still think she’s a beautiful woman. Don’t worry about it, there are so many things that are worse than that, it’s just acne.
 
Your post brought tears to my eyes.
I ask God that you will find whatever causes and whatever treatment is the right one for you.

And please don’t assume that you won’t be loved or appreciated because of scarring.
When the right girl finds you, she will love you for the person you are.
You may not believe in who you are at present.
But you are precious and unique
 
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