My life lately

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billcu1

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I just wanted to reach out to someone. I have been having confusions for a long time now. I have been going to absolution every week and sinning every week. And then partaking every week in the sacrament of the host. I am going to spend some time away from Mass and gather myself together. IDK what’s up. it’s not that I don’t care but my spiritual work and devotionals will continue. IDK what’s going on I just can’t resist temptation from inside myself or something outside, IDK. Maybe this happens to people in the faith. You are required to take Mass at Easter and one confession a year. I know that’s the minimum but it’s all I can put out now. Does anyone understand?
 
“Who hath a harder battle to fight than he who striveth for self-mastery?”
Code: 
                                                      -Imitation of Christ- Book 1, Chapter 3, paragragh  3.


 Be receptive billcu1--Be receptive to the grace within and all around you.

 I don't understand. As a Catholic you have the sacraments at your disposal yet you seem to want to forgo using them with the exception of the minimum. I do believe you've been experiencing confusions. Sit in silence and stillness to listen to the still inner voice. When I listen in stillness I lessen the doubts and confusion in my own life.

 May you be filled with loving kindness. May you be well. May you be peaceful and at ease. May you be happy.
 
billcu1 said:
I just wanted to reach out to someone. I have been having confusions for a long time now. I have been going to absolution every week and sinning every week. And then partaking every week in the sacrament of the host. I am going to spend some time away from Mass and gather myself together. IDK what’s up. it’s not that I don’t care but my spiritual work and devotionals will continue. IDK what’s going on I just can’t resist temptation from inside myself or something outside, IDK. Maybe this happens to people in the faith. You are required to take Mass at Easter and one confession a year. I know that’s the minimum but it’s all I can put out now. Does anyone understand?
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I’m going off the assumption that your sin is pornography/masturbation. I feel like it’s always the “habitual sin” people are talking about and I think you’ve mentioned it before. If I’m wrong, disregard everything below.

Have you tried attacking this problem indirectly? For example, instead of trying to overcome it by sheer willpower, distract yourself. First, throw yourself into your career, whatever that is. Focus on developing your skills. Make yourself more marketable. Get a new certification/license/whatever. Second, tire yourself out. If you don’t already, work out and really push yourself. I don’t mean “do fifteen half-assed minutes on the elliptical machine”. I mean really smoke yourself. Maybe get involved in a fitness program like Crossfit. Much better that you develop some muscle as opposed to staring at porn on the computer for hours at a time. Finally, how are your relationships with women? Like, in real life, not over the internet. Note that I’m NOT saying “go out and have sex with random women.” But I am saying maybe devote your energy to trying to develop a real romantic connection with a flesh and blood woman.
 
I’m right there, although for me it’s not an habitual sin; I reached the point a couple of weeks ago where I don’t even want to receive Communion anymore. Right now I’m of the mind that the minimums are there for a reason. I can’t find much more in me right now, either. I hear you.
 
Friend, I can tell you this:

You need to keep confessing, as that prevents future sin, in that it makes us aware of what we have done. Also you need to keep going to Mass. You need those graces. It will only get worse when you step away from God.

Draw near to Him who loves you beyond measure.
You need Him.
Go.
I would also stay, go to Adoration as well. Pour out your heart…receive strength.
Many are praying for you.
 
I get tired too. People get mentally tired of doing the same spiritual practices.

This will pass.

Perhaps it is a physical issue as well. I’ve found taking omega 3s and B12 to be a lifesaver. Maybe some magnesium also.
 
Warandpeace said:
I get tired too. People get mentally tired of doing the same spiritual practices.

This will pass.

Perhaps it is a physical issue as well. I’ve found taking omega 3s and B12 to be a lifesaver. Maybe some magnesium also.
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I haven’t felt well no. Anemia is a problem right now and it hurts. Can’t hardly breath sometimes and tired.
 
BoomBoomMancini said:
I’m going off the assumption that your sin is pornography/masturbation. I feel like it’s always the “habitual sin” people are talking about and I think you’ve mentioned it before. If I’m wrong, disregard everything below.

Have you tried attacking this problem indirectly? For example, instead of trying to overcome it by sheer willpower, distract yourself. First, throw yourself into your career, whatever that is. Focus on developing your skills. Make yourself more marketable. Get a new certification/license/whatever. Second, tire yourself out. If you don’t already, work out and really push yourself. I don’t mean “do fifteen half-assed minutes on the elliptical machine”. I mean really smoke yourself. Maybe get involved in a fitness program like Crossfit. Much better that you develop some muscle as opposed to staring at porn on the computer for hours at a time. Finally, how are your relationships with women? Like, in real life, not over the internet. Note that I’m NOT saying “go out and have sex with random women.” But I am saying maybe devote your energy to trying to develop a real romantic connection with a flesh and blood woman.
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Your right on the nose. Fleshly sin. I confess and fall down. I need to get back into the rosary. I want to do devotions and such. Maybe that will help.Excercise sounds good too. Women? What women? I try to stay away from them myself. I have enough problems in my life.
 
billcu1 said:
Women? What women? I try to stay away from them myself. I have enough problems in my life.
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This, in a nutshell, is why porn is so damaging. It rewires your brain. It’s made you think of women as nothing more than a source of temptation. Saying, “I stay away from women” because they are potential “problems” is not something a psychologically healthy, well adjusted man says. Women are more than just boobs and butts that might tempt you. They’re full fledged human beings with thoughts, emotions, insights, and personalities. :eek: Try getting to know some as people instead of just getting to know them as naked images on your screen.

Also, what do you do for work? You sort of passed that suggestion by, but I think it’s really helpful. How is your work going? Can you devote some of your free time to enhancing your career prospects? Learn some new skill, take on more responsibilities at work, etc.

Note that I’m not saying that you should stop using prayer and confession and Mass. Absolutely, continue to use them. But if you spend all your free time sitting at home thinking, “OK, I’m going to try not to look at porn/masturbate”, what are you going to do? Ultimately, you’re going to give into the temptation. Even if you’re thinking about how you shouldn’t do it, you’re still keeping it in your head. The point is: create distractions for yourself. Get out of the house. Go to work, exercise, meet friends, etc. Take yourself out of the environment that you find so tempting.
 
billcu1 said:
I just wanted to reach out to someone. I have been having confusions for a long time now. I have been going to absolution every week and sinning every week. And then partaking every week in the sacrament of the host. I am going to spend some time away from Mass and gather myself together. IDK what’s up. it’s not that I don’t care but my spiritual work and devotionals will continue. IDK what’s going on I just can’t resist temptation from inside myself or something outside, IDK. Maybe this happens to people in the faith. You are required to take Mass at Easter and one confession a year. I know that’s the minimum but it’s all I can put out now. Does anyone understand?
Click to expand...
Don’t stop going to mass!! that’s your help, that’s what the devil wants, don’t let him win, not one little tiny inch. If you feel your sin is a mortal one then go to mass anyway and just go up for a blessing not the Eucharist until you can confess. We all fall for various things. You are doing well, keep going to absolution and praying and fighting no matter how long it takes. All heaven rejoices each time you confess. Ask your priest for advice to stop. Google it 😉 you aren’t the first person to have such problems, I bet you find tons of help from saints and people who have suffered from the same issues. There’s a book called Saintly solutions to life’s common problems Fr Jospeh Esper which deals with how the saints fought common sins, you may find it helps you. Fight this! if one thing doesn’t work something else will. Set small achievable goals for yourself. Don’t let yourself give in to once a year, cos that is what the devil wants, he knows it’s slippery slope behaviour.

I do understand. I don’t have exactly the same vice you have, but I did leave my faith behind once cos I was an absolute idiot. It started with slippery slope behaviour, not going very often to mass cos keeping to all the requirements was too hard then not at all etc. I just don’t want that for you. God bless
 
Bluebright said:
Don’t stop going to mass!! that’s your help, that’s what the devil wants, don’t let him win, not one little tiny inch. If you feel your sin is a mortal one then go to mass anyway and just go up for a blessing not the Eucharist until you can confess. We all fall for various things. You are doing well, keep going to absolution and praying and fighting no matter how long it takes. All heaven rejoices each time you confess. Ask your priest for advice to stop. Google it 😉 you aren’t the first person to have such problems, I bet you find tons of help from saints and people who have suffered from the same issues. There’s a book called Saintly solutions to life’s common problems Fr Jospeh Esper which deals with how the saints fought common sins, you may find it helps you. Fight this! if one thing doesn’t work something else will. Set small achievable goals for yourself. Don’t let yourself give in to once a year, cos that is what the devil wants, he knows it’s slippery slope behaviour.

I do understand. I don’t have exactly the same vice you have, but I did leave my faith behind once cos I was an absolute idiot. It started with slippery slope behaviour, not going very often to mass cos keeping to all the requirements was too hard then not at all etc. I just don’t want that for you. God bless
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Well I’m not giving up the faith 🙂 I was thinking about sitting at home and focusing on life other than just church. I want to get back into the Rosary. Everyday. It’s not a sacrament but it sure makes me feel better. I say prayers too. My contrition or even attrition is questionable to me. I know I am doing wrong but nothing works. It’s more than simple fleshly sin. Everything is being rewired in me probably because of meditations and for the better. A 3 month break may be ok I would think.
 
billcu1 said:
Well I’m not giving up the faith 🙂 I was thinking about sitting at home and focusing on life other than just church. I want to get back into the Rosary. Everyday. It’s not a sacrament but it sure makes me feel better. I say prayers too. My contrition or even attrition is questionable to me. I know I am doing wrong but nothing works. It’s more than simple fleshly sin. Everything is being rewired in me probably because of meditations and for the better. A 3 month break may be ok I would think.
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I mean, church is what, an hour a week? I don’t really think that going to Mass is going to take away from your ability to get your life in order.
 
BoomBoomMancini said:
This, in a nutshell, is why porn is so damaging. It rewires your brain. It’s made you think of women as nothing more than a source of temptation. Saying, “I stay away from women” because they are potential “problems” is not something a psychologically healthy, well adjusted man says. Women are more than just boobs and butts that might tempt you. They’re full fledged human beings with thoughts, emotions, insights, and personalities. :eek: Try getting to know some as people instead of just getting to know them as naked images on your screen.

Also, what do you do for work? You sort of passed that suggestion by, but I think it’s really helpful. How is your work going? Can you devote some of your free time to enhancing your career prospects? Learn some new skill, take on more responsibilities at work, etc.

Note that I’m not saying that you should stop using prayer and confession and Mass. Absolutely, continue to use them. But if you spend all your free time sitting at home thinking, “OK, I’m going to try not to look at porn/masturbate”, what are you going to do? Ultimately, you’re going to give into the temptation. Even if you’re thinking about how you shouldn’t do it, you’re still keeping it in your head. The point is: create distractions for yourself. Get out of the house. Go to work, exercise, meet friends, etc. Take yourself out of the environment that you find so tempting.
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Your last ¶ hits the nail on the head. I know girls that are friends. This internet porn stuff really isn’t helping anyone but it hurts a lot of people too. Now I can’t just grab a woman and say “Let’s go.” They’ll try to put you in jail. And get real close and laugh about it. They all smoke and use drugs. I won’t have it around. personality is the key word. They are all totally unlike me. Never met an interesting one.

Career. Well I’m on disability. Here’s a key thing you’re mentioning. I DO need much to do. Part of our work is doing acts to increase and use faith. Sitting and doing nothing is not doing works. I would like to know more about the faith. St. Anthony, Theresa of Avila, Assisi. They all have good things to say. But books are expensive I can’t afford them. Or a woman.
 
OK.
Hear me, please.
Isolating yourself from the Sacraments is **Never ** going to work for you the way you think it will.
Christ is truly present there at the Mass.
He is the one who can help you. You can glean good advice, good practices, and good reading through the Saints. Education is always wonderful.

But you need serious help. You want to meet a woman who is godly and nice, kind, sincere, not into worldly things? She likely at Mass. But that’s way down the list. Having another person in your life is good, but it’s not the end of the world if you don’t. Maybe you’re better single, we do’t know.

What I can tell you is that you are not meant to separate yourself from God, the Church, the Sacraments, and the Word.

Call uber and go.
Go to Adoration and read THERE.

Don’t isolate yourself. It won’t work. You’ll just turn out odd and miserable
I’m saying this for your own good. Many are praying for you.
 
I haven’t read the thread, so excuse me if this was brought up already.

But in the first post, there seems to be confusion about how often we are to attend Mass. Just so that you’re clear, OP, we are required to receive Holy Communion at least once a year, and not just “take Mass.” You’re aware that we are to attend Mass on every Holy Day of Obligation, right? And that that includes every Sunday?

As to your problem, yes, I can relate.

I believe you happen to be undergoing spiritual attacks, and that there’s a part of you that simply wants to give up and find interests in things that don’t happen to include Catholicism.

That’s a mistake.

What you’re aiming towards is distracting yourself with idols so that your struggles against sin don’t cause you internal dissonance.

But we cannot normalize sin, and we cannot turn our backs on God because we happen to be tired.

Abandoning the only remedy for an ugly, death-tainted soul is simply to do the will of those who seek to kill it.
 
billcu1 said:
Your last ¶ hits the nail on the head. I know girls that are friends. This internet porn stuff really isn’t helping anyone but it hurts a lot of people too. Now I can’t just grab a woman and say “Let’s go.” They’ll try to put you in jail. And get real close and laugh about it. They all smoke and use drugs. I won’t have it around. personality is the key word. They are all totally unlike me. Never met an interesting one.

Career. Well I’m on disability. Here’s a key thing you’re mentioning. I DO need much to do. Part of our work is doing acts to increase and use faith. Sitting and doing nothing is not doing works. I would like to know more about the faith. St. Anthony, Theresa of Avila, Assisi. They all have good things to say. But books are expensive I can’t afford them. Or a woman.
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I see. How are your mental health issues? Are they under control? If not, I think that should be a priority.

If you are unable to work, I think it’s even more important for you to get out and try to live an active life with other flesh and blood human beings, not just over the computer. Do you have any hobbies? Do you have friends you can call up and say, “Hey, let’s go hiking” or something?

Do not isolate yourself, either socially or from the Church. Have you considered seeing a secular therapist in addition to what you’re currently doing?
 
billcu1 said:
Well I’m not giving up the faith 🙂 I was thinking about sitting at home and focusing on life other than just church. I want to get back into the Rosary. Everyday. It’s not a sacrament but it sure makes me feel better. I say prayers too. My contrition or even attrition is questionable to me. I know I am doing wrong but nothing works. It’s more than simple fleshly sin. Everything is being rewired in me probably because of meditations and for the better. A 3 month break may be ok I would think.
Click to expand...
You can live life as well as going to mass. Good idea about the Rosary (it’s a sacramental) it makes me feel better too. You only think nothing works, cos nothing you’ve tried yet has worked. You are right it is more than a sin of the flesh, it’s a habit too. One you need to break. Contrition and attrition is hard, yes and it will seem questionable if you aren’t getting anywhere. So try new ways to avoid your sin. You are very brave coming on here I admire you. I have already prayed for you. That’s a start, so is the rosary, mother Mary is the best advocate for chastity ever. Start praying for it, when you go to confession tell the priest how long you made it since the last confession, what worked and for how long and what didn’t work. Let him help you, ask him to pray for you. Google Fr Mike Schmidt on you tube he has useful tips on all things probably this too. No, a 3 month break is not ok. It’ll only weaken you. The church insists on Sunday obligation as a minimum for a reason. I’d suggest you start going to daily mass if at all possible, instead of this break you want and start going to adoration. My priest gave us some advice in situations, always take the hardest of two decisions. So in your life, 1)you can take a break, or 2)you can keep going to mass and keep going to confession…option 2) is by far the hardest. God bless you
 
BoomBoomMancini said:
I see. How are your mental health issues? Are they under control? If not, I think that should be a priority.

If you are unable to work, I think it’s even more important for you to get out and try to live an active life with other flesh and blood human beings, not just over the computer. Do you have any hobbies? Do you have friends you can call up and say, “Hey, let’s go hiking” or something?

Do not isolate yourself, either socially or from the Church. Have you considered seeing a secular therapist in addition to what you’re currently doing?
Click to expand...
Oh yes I have hobbies. Mental health issues are well I take plenty of meds. Still doesn’t stop the panic and anxiety all the time. But I could be curled into a ball on the floor. If I wasn’t taking the drugs. As far as therapists, there are no cognitive behavioral therapists around here. That would help. Friends to call up. Well not really but I could call a couple of people if I wanted to. Such things make us (the ego) feel better and needed for a while, but then it all fades away. As far as relationships with women go I take that very seriously. I don’t need to have some lunatic just to say I have someone. And then live a life of constant trouble. With people, relatives and some I’ve known, even the law possibly.
Code: 
St. Anthony used isolation very well. It was the way of the desert fathers. As far as being around the sacrament, I'm sure he was.
To address above supra also. Many of my hobbies are sedentary. But I am losing a little weight and getting a little more exercise. But for absolution, if you’re doing it every week and nothing is changing; is there a contrition problem? I need to get serious. That’s no way to do absolution.
 
billcu1 said:
Oh yes I have hobbies. Mental health issues are well I take plenty of meds. Still doesn’t stop the panic and anxiety all the time. But I could be curled into a ball on the floor. If I wasn’t taking the drugs. As far as therapists, there are no cognitive behavioral therapists around here. That would help. Friends to call up. Well not really but I could call a couple of people if I wanted to. Such things make us (the ego) feel better and needed for a while, but then it all fades away. As far as relationships with women go I take that very seriously. I don’t need to have some lunatic just to say I have someone. And then live a life of constant trouble. With people, relatives and some I’ve known, even the law possibly.
Click to expand...
I mean, yes, it’s good that you don’t want to shack up with a woman just for the sake of having a woman, but you do seem a little scared of women in general. They’re just people. Anyway, maybe see if there is some way to explore a therapist.
 
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