That’s the way I understand it. But I’m no scholar.
Because I lived far from any church, I had contacted a priest by phone, calling a number I found on the archdiocese website. We had a couple of very nice, comforting conversations with him about my situation. He totally put me at ease with him, with the process and with the general situation. He told me what documents I needed and I got right on it the next day.
I organized it all and sent everything into him as soon as I could.
Then after I was granted the annulment and dispensation, my husband and I travelled to the church. It was the first time I had met him.
The priest and I had a conversation, papers were signed. He then heard my confession. Then my husband had a separate short conversation with him also, and signed some papers. Husband is not anything close to Catholic, so he didn’t have to do anything else.
Then we went into the sanctuary and were married.
So my confession came before the convalidation, and I did confess to relations with my civil husband,not yet my sacramental husband.(among other things). I guess it was done that way because there was no time to have relations in between the confession and the ceremony. So I was “clean” and was able to stay clean until we were sacramentally married.
So to follow… If you were to go to confession and get “clean” you would have to abstain from sex until you could get convalidated. (Could be a sweet, sweet honeymoon!). Then you could take the other sacraments as long as you stayed “clean”.
This is the way I understand it.
If this break is not possible, then I’d start talking to my priest yesterday.
I didn’t have access to a priest where I lived, so the priest who normally handles such things for the diocese handled everything. He even came up with two witnesses for us since we didn’t know anyone. We were married in the cathedral and it was beautiful.
But as I say, I’m no scholar in canon law.
Talk to your priest. They are people, just like you, and they have heard everything. And it’s their vocation. No one goes through the agony of seminary just to have a low paying job that will get you up in the middle of the night. They do it because they love God, love you, and love the Church. You might even make a friend along the way.
And I know that confession is more involved than “getting clean” it just the way I thought about it in this instance. I can’t think of a better way of saying it just now.
