My marriage needs blessed?

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Beyrak

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I was confirmed into the Catholic Church two weeks ago, weeks before Easter Vigil when I was scheduled to be confirmed. I had a serious illness and I needed surgery. My priest deemed it necessary to confirm me. I was so grateful and felt at peace for my surgery. I will never forget my priest’s generosity and compassion during that hospital visit where I received three of the seven sacraments, confession, confirmation, and sacrament of the sick.

My question is, as I was reading in another thread that touched on this subject, is do I need my marriage blessed? In another thread at forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=137757, a priest was denying communion because of this.

My situation is this. My wife and I married young, the first and only marriage for us both. We now have three adult children and one grandchild. I am a Catholic of two weeks, and my wife is non-Catholic but was once a Mormon, so she is considered a non-Christain. She will be starting RCIA classes this September and goes to Mass with me now.

We NEVER had a marriage ceremony, but was legally married when I was in the military at the US Embassy in Korea.

So we have no other marriages, no divorces, are very happily married and have been so for 28 years. Now do I need to have my marriage blessed to be able to continue to receive communion, as in the above thread? I am soo confused as my priest knows my situation and has never said a word about any such thing, but he is young. I want to do everything right being a new Catholic.

Help!
 
If your original wedding ceremony did not take place in front of a Christian clergy, but rather through a non-religious public official such as a Justice of the Peace, then you need to have your vows witnessed by a man of the cloth.

I was married by a Justice of the Peace ceremony in 2004. We had our civil marriage blessed by the church in 2006. It’s a really beautiful thing to have God present when you take your vows.
 
Beyrak said:
I was confirmed into the Catholic Church two weeks ago, weeks before Easter Vigil when I was scheduled to be confirmed. I had a serious illness and I needed surgery. My priest deemed it necessary to confirm me. I was so grateful and felt at peace for my surgery. I will never forget my priest’s generosity and compassion during that hospital visit where I received three of the seven sacraments, confession, confirmation, and sacrament of the sick.

My question is, as I was reading in another thread that touched on this subject, is do I need my marriage blessed? In another thread at forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=137757, a priest was denying communion because of this.

My situation is this. My wife and I married young, the first and only marriage for us both. We now have three adult children and one grandchild. I am a Catholic of two weeks, and my wife is non-Catholic but was once a Mormon, so she is considered a non-Christain. She will be starting RCIA classes this September and goes to Mass with me now.

We NEVER had a marriage ceremony, but was legally married when I was in the military at the US Embassy in Korea.

So we have no other marriages, no divorces, are very happily married and have been so for 28 years. Now do I need to have my marriage blessed to be able to continue to receive communion, as in the above thread? I am soo confused as my priest knows my situation and has never said a word about any such thing, but he is young. I want to do everything right being a new Catholic.

Help!
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Assuming that your wife is not validly Baptized. When she receives Baptism at the Easter Vigil next year your Natural Marriage will become a Sacramental Marriage, at the moment of her Baptism. So there is nothing to do at this time. You can request a nuptual blessing after that time.
 
Br.Rich_SFO said:
Assuming that your wife is not validly Baptized. When she receives Baptism at the Easter Vigil next year your Natural Marriage will become a Sacramental Marriage, at the moment of her Baptism. So there is nothing to do at this time.
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Thanks. That is what I thought, but the question answered by Fr. Vincent Serpa at forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=137757 confused me. That couple’s situation seemed to be identical as my own, except that the non-Catholic in that marriage does not plan on converting. But there is no guarantee that my wife will either.
 
Beyrak said:
Thanks. That is what I thought, but the question answered by Fr. Vincent Serpa at forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=137757 confused me. That couple’s situation seemed to be identical as my own, except that the non-Catholic in that marriage does not plan on converting. But there is no guarantee that my wife will either.
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Sounds anyway like you need to wait until she definitely cides whether she will convert or not, then you can do what is appropriate.
 
Beyrak said:
But why does one priest refuse communion to a person in the same boat as I, and Fr. Vincent Serpa doesn’t refute the act, but everything is hunky-dory with me?

What is the difference between my situation and their’s at forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=137757 ?
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It appears that Fr Serpa’s case is about a civil marriage between someone who was Catholic at the time of marriage and someone who was not.

Marriages between couples where NEITHER of the partners are Catholic at the time of marriage - like yours - are, I think, treated differently.

You know that non-Catholic baptisms are many times recognised as valid by the Catholic Church. So marriages between two non-Catholics in a non-Catholic ceremony can be recognised as valid marriages by the Church. At least sometimes. I’d double check with a different priest to be sure though.
 
Thanks Lily, so that lady was already a Catholic when she married and that makes a difference. I didn’t make that distinction before.

Thanks for the responses. So as Br. Rich said, when and if my wife joins the Church, everything will fall into place and there is nothing for me to be concerned with at this time. 👍
 
Beyrak said:
Thanks Lily, so that lady was already a Catholic when she married and that makes a difference. I didn’t make that distinction before.
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Yes, the distinction is quite important and one that confuses many people. If neither you or your wife was Catholic at the time of your marriage, it is recognized by the church as legal and valid, and you do not need to do anything.

If/when your wife is baptized, then your marriage will become a sacramental marriage by virtue of your baptisms, but it will still be recognized as a legal and valid marriage and you will still not have to do anything. You may request a nuptial blessing, if you like, but it certainly isn’t required or necessary.

My husband and I (both non-Catholics at the time) were married by a Justice of the Peace many years ago. We were baptized later in a Methodist service, and then joined the Catholic Church. I had so many people telling me I needed to get my marriage “blessed” that I did extensive research on this issue. Every priest gave me the exact same answers.

So don’t worry! 🙂
 
your marriage situation should have been discussed in your initial interview with the priest when you entered the preparation program for confirmation. In your case, if the process was shortened to allow for your early reception of the sacrament–quite right and proper for that life-threatening situation–maybe it was overlooked. Simply discuss it with the priest now. Since it is not possible in such a forum to know all the facts,nor is it proper to discuss here, I won’t offer an opinion, but in general, the marriage of 2 non-Catholics is valid and legal (who witnessed it is not an issue) that does not change if one becomes Catholic. When both are baptized, it automatically becomes sacramental, as well as valid. Please just talk to the priest and put your mind at rest.

Don’t judge on the circumstances of other people–useless comparison, too many factors and unknows to make a judgement.
 
BeeSweet said:
If your original wedding ceremony did not take place in front of a Christian clergy, but rather through a non-religious public official such as a Justice of the Peace, then you need to have your vows witnessed by a man of the cloth.

I was married by a Justice of the Peace ceremony in 2004. We had our civil marriage blessed by the church in 2006. It’s a really beautiful thing to have God present when you take your vows.
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please do not make such global pronouncements unless you are sure of your facts. In OP’s case your statement is wrong, because neither party was Catholic at the time of the marriage. You cannot judge other cases by your own, each marriage situation is unique.

it cannot be stated too often here that if you start comparing the situation of individual couples you will inevitably make mistakes because there are so many variables to take into account. The ONLY proper course of action for a couple who has a question about their marriage is to talk to their pastor.
 
Beyrak said:
Thanks. That is what I thought, but the question answered by Fr. Vincent Serpa at forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=137757 confused me. That couple’s situation seemed to be identical as my own, except that the non-Catholic in that marriage does not plan on converting. But there is no guarantee that my wife will either.
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For a Marriage to be Sacramental both persons must be validly Baptized.

However last time I looked there were three different Nuptual Blessings available to be used. One was for a non-Scaramental Marriage. I would suggest you wait and see what your wife does after Inquiry.
 
Beyrak said:
I am a Catholic of two weeks, and my wife is non-Catholic but was once a Mormon, so she is considered a non-Christain. She will be starting RCIA classes this September and goes to Mass with me now.

We NEVER had a marriage ceremony, but was legally married when I was in the military at the US Embassy in Korea.
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Sorry Beyrak, I didn’t notice your wife was a non-Christian when you married. My husband was a baptised Christian, and I was already a Catholic, so your situation is very different from mine. I didn’t mean to mislead you! You’ve already received the correct answer here I see though. 😃
 
Yea, thanks for the replies everyone. To answer a question posed by someone, my priest does know my situation, and never mentioned to me I needed to do anything, the reason for my confusion when I read the thread I posted in my initial question. I thought maybe my priest had overlooked something, but apparently he has not.

Thanks again.
 
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