My mom has no conscience

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grainofsand

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My mom wanted to go to Walmart today. I told her not to go and that we shouldnt go because they are a top donor to Planned Parenthood.

She didnt say anything… well after I told her that she kinda sighed angrily at me a little. But guess what?

We went anyways. I accompanied my mom to do her errands because everyone else was selfish and didnt want to go so I decided to volunteer. But I thought we wouldnt go to walmart but we did anyways because she was driving.

I was very mad and I am really shocked… I know or at least knew my mom was pro life. Please pray for my mom. I am the only one in my family who goes to church, confession, and really cares about doing God’s work.
Does anyone know why my mom would ignore the fact that I said??? She didnt say A THING about it at all today… I am really confused and well just agrivated.

Thanks for taking time to read this, guys. Godspeed!
 
There is a period in life when we are very strong in our commitment to be perfect. The responsibilities and complexities of our lives can wear it out, and being a mother can make it especially hard to do the right thing all the time. There are many things competing to be a priority: using consumer pressure to change the world, managing time, managing money, hospitality and so many others, so it’s not likely she really has no conscience. It’s just hard to juggle everything and never compromise in any way.
 
Since she does not sound like she is very concerned about the Church (lax Mass attendance, not much sacramental involvement, et cetera) I guess I don’t find it all that surprising that she didn’t listen to you about Wal*Mart. Maybe she isn’t pro-life after all, or didn’t believe you.

It’s also possible that she was in a hurry or trying to get things a little cheaper, so WalMart was the most convenient for her. That’s not to say that the situation was justified, but perhaps her justification outweighed your statement. (By the way, I didn’t know that… it’s pretty disturbing! WalMart is not a good company in that it treats its workers poorly and takes advantage of foreign laborers in sweatshops, but this just adds to the reasons I won’t shop there.)

Rectifying this situation and still obeying the fourth commandment may be a little tricky… obviously you want to do the right thing and help your mom do the right thing, but it wouldn’t help to disrespect/not honor her, even if that’s not your intention. Try taking a deep breath and praying, then write out what you want to say to her. That way you are at peace and you know your talking points… then kindly ask her if she’s got the time for a chat.

Good luck with your efforts. You’re doing the right thing, and you all are in my prayers.
 
Blizzard_Wolf said:
Since she does not sound like she is very concerned about the Church (lax Mass attendance, not much sacramental involvement, et cetera) I guess I don’t find it all that surprising that she didn’t listen to you about Wal*Mart. Maybe she isn’t pro-life after all, or didn’t believe you.

It’s also possible that she was in a hurry or trying to get things a little cheaper, so WalMart was the most convenient for her. That’s not to say that the situation was justified, but perhaps her justification outweighed your statement. (By the way, I didn’t know that… it’s pretty disturbing! WalMart is not a good company in that it treats its workers poorly and takes advantage of foreign laborers in sweatshops, but this just adds to the reasons I won’t shop there.)

Rectifying this situation and still obeying the fourth commandment may be a little tricky… obviously you want to do the right thing and help your mom do the right thing, but it wouldn’t help to disrespect/not honor her, even if that’s not your intention. Try taking a deep breath and praying, then write out what you want to say to her. That way you are at peace and you know your talking points… then kindly ask her if she’s got the time for a chat.

Good luck with your efforts. You’re doing the right thing, and you all are in my prayers.
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I am kind of shy and I have a hard time working up the nerve talking to people, especially my folks… but I will try my best to talk to her about it. Whats kind of crazy is that there is a similar store like Walmart just next to it… thanks for the guidance. It helped!
 
If going to Walmart means you have no conscience then my family, my town, and my priests (yes I said my priests) are conscience free.

Yeah Walmart gives to planned parenthood, have you seen the lists of places, companies, etc, that do?

Gas is high, our location is remote, Walmart is cheap, i’m not going to drive around looking for store that doesn’t give to planned parenthood every time milk or bread is needed in our household (which is every other day).

I’m about as Pro-life as one could get, but condeming someone for going to Walmart is just ridicious
 
If the OP wants to boycott Walmart, that’s wonderful for him. But saying his mother has no conscience because she does not boycott Walmart is ridiclious. A pro-life and anti-BC doc is hard to find, should we boycott the majority of doctors because they write/may write/have written prescriptions for birth control? Michrosoft gives to planned parenthood as well, hope everyone who thinks Walmart is evil is using a Mac.
 
grainofsand said:
My mom wanted to go to Walmart today. I told her not to go and that we shouldnt go because they are a top donor to Planned Parenthood.

She didnt say anything… well after I told her that she kinda sighed angrily at me a little. But guess what?

We went anyways. !
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well that is a stretch
you don’t know anything about her conscience, she makes decisions every day, dozens of them, that balance your welfare, God’s law, the demands of her vocation. she does not necessarily share that process with you, nor should she.

there is no moral law that says you cannot patronize a business who may also, aside from their business activities, contribute to non-profit organizations that engage in activities that do go against Church teaching. As long as that immoral activity is not the primary focus of that business, and you are not materially participating, there is no reason you can’t use the services of that business. For instance, you could not visit an abortion clinic for other medical care, because it’s primary business is immoral, but you could visit the ER or have surgery in a hospital, where from time to time abortions are performed, since that is not the primary activity of the hospital, and you are not materially participating in the sin.

you are certainly free to choose to boycott such businesses and institutions, and to form your own conscience on the matter which may be stricter than what the Church requires, but that does not authorize you to criticize others whose decisions are not contravening moral law.
 
I think your age might be of some help in determining how best to advise you.
 
Leopard said:
Can you document this?
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I was going to ask for the same. I did some searching, but all I found was…

…boycotts of Wal-Mart by Planned Parenthood over Wal-Mart’s refusal to provide Plan B emergency contraception

…a lost lawsuit where Wal-Mart lost because they wouldn’t provide someone with Plan B emergency contraception.

…Wal-Mart’s reversal after the lawsuit (i.e. their pharmacies now offer Plan B, unfortunately)

…Planned Parenthood gloating over their success against Wal-Mart.

I would be very surprised to find that Wal-Mart is “a top donor to Planned Parenthood.” Why would they be a top donor to their biggest adversary after their adversary defeated them through boycotts? It doesn’t make sense. Now people want to boycott them because they caved after losing a lawsuit? I wish they hadn’t caved, but to try to help them go out of business seems pretty misguided.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch…
onenewsnow.com/2007/11/walmart_facing_boycott_from_ho.php
Wal-Mart facing boycott from homosexual activists
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Ed Thomas
OneNewsNow.com
November 22, 2007
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http://www.onenewsnow.com/images/stories/WalmartLogo.jpg Human Rights Campaign (HRC), one of the nation’s leading homosexual advocate groups, is calling for a homosexual boycott of Wal-Mart, and urging homosexuals to patronize rival Target this Christmas season.
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Wal-Mart allegedly has garnered a “do not buy” endorsement from HRC because of its failure to offer domestic partner benefits, according to a report in USA Today. But Wal-Mart now has a new advocate calling for shoppers to support the retailer’s stand for traditional values.American Family Association** Chairman Don Wildmon, whose organization called off its boycott against the retailer in 2006 when it pledged to stop funding controversial causes – including homosexuality, says the gay lobby is now working against the corporate chain.**

“The homosexual community has called for a boycott of Wal-Mart this Christmas season, and they’re asking people to go buy at Target. The reason why is that Target does give homosexuals domestic benefits,” says Wildmon
Wildmon says HRC and their supporters are trying to make Wal-Mart pay financially for doing something good for the family, and Christians and other consumers need to show support by not allowing homosexuals to win their financial gamble against the store. He says that Wal-Mart is “doing something good for the family here; they’re refusing to recognize homosexuals as being married, and we encourage people to shop at Wal-Mart as much as possible.”
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I’m personally more concerned that the OP would accuse his own mother of something so awful, based on her shopping habits (which, incidentally, are the same as millions of Catholics in this country).
 
I would sit down and have a reasonable discussion with your mother. Take note of the two words: reasonable and discussion. Tell her how you feel about Wal-Mart, and be able to provide her with proof that Wal-Mart does indeed give directly to planned parenthood. Perhaps you could go so far as to ask that you were thinking that maybe it would be good if your family could avoid shopping at Wal-Mart. Putting it this way sounds much more kind, and is less likely to make her defensive. Making demands like “You shouldn’t go to Wal-Mart because they donate to Planned Parenthood” is very likely to make your mother defensive, annoyed, and she may perhaps even take it as a personal attack that she is not a good person. That really is not how to go about things. Just be kind, tell her your thoughts, and let her decide what to do. Ultimately, you cannot make demands of your parents, and you should accept her decision.

Keep in mind though that your mother may be shopping at Wal-Mart because it is indeed cheaper than many other stores, and she wants to save money for your family. If this is the case, it would be good to tell her that you appreciate that she is shopping at Wal-Mart to save money for you and your family.
 
grainofsand said:
I am kind of shy and I have a hard time working up the nerve talking to people, especially my folks… but I will try my best to talk to her about it. Whats kind of crazy is that there is a similar store like Walmart just next to it… thanks for the guidance. It helped!
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Have you researched that store and checked into what it might be doing wrong?
 
SeekerJen said:
I’m personally more concerned that the OP would accuse his own mother of something so awful, based on her shopping habits (which, incidentally, are the same as millions of Catholics in this country).
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Yes, I think the age of OP would be of some value to this discussion.

Hey, mom could be a partier, staying out all night, not caring if food is in the frig…wow, could be lots worse, I would say.

OP, maybe you should just print out, give Mom all this information that you have and let her draw a conclusion for herself.
 
Also, I was just doing some quick research, and I have checked two pro life boycott lists that were last updated for fall 2007. Wal-Mart was not listed on either of them. Apparently they had actually been removed from both boycott lists.
 
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