My mother/I'm looking for happiness

[JCats1]

Hi everyone. I post a lot about my mother but I’ve just been striving to find happiness. So I’ve been living with a mother who is verbally abusive and is a person who does not negotiate with people. She lives as if it is the past and does not adjust to the the 21st century. She is very strict and I know she wants the best for her kids, but she could do it in a more encouraging, loving way, instead of a threatening way, because as of right now, I am not motivated to try harder in the stuff that I do. I’m in psychology class and she displays some symptoms of mental personality disorder (she’s very antisocial). She does not show her love for her children , complains so much, and is very pessimistic and tries to bring God into every argument in the most ludicrous way possible. Instead of granting us her blessing, she curses us. My father, no matter how hard he tries, cannot change her. She does not admit her mistakes for the sake of pride and rarely apologizes. The only person who can change her is her father, but he died before I was born. I’m 16 years old and I am so very overwhelmed by all of this. I pray to God and I ask him why, out of all the mothers he could have given me, gave me the certain mother I have. I have to suffer everyday because of her. I mean I love my mother, but it’s sort of like a I love how you brought me into this world love. I have no connection with her and I don’t even consider her as a friend. I realize that this is the cross the God put in my life for the time being, until I go off to college and start my own life. In fact, I’m afraid that she’s going to control me even in my adulthood. I vow to myself that if I get married and have kids, I will never ever treat them like the way she treated me. I’m am scared to have a talk with her and even stand up for myself when she reprimands me. I just take it all in. I sometimes get suicidal thoughts because of this. I want to be happy. I need God and I just want him to take over my life and I want him to liberate me. I try praying but it’s so hard to keep my trust in God. It’s like a roller coaster ride: when things go good I have hope and then everything crashes down and I realize the harsh reality that I am facing. Just yesterday, she told me that she won’t let me go to junior prom even if it’s just with my friends. She says I need to focus on school and my future. (I get good grades and I study a lot). The only mother that I look up to is Mother Mary. I want/need her love. Please pray for me. I just needed someone to share this with because I keep it bottled up inside of me. What should I do?

 

[pensmama87]

If you go to school, you probably have a guidance counselor or a school psychologist who could help you. They could do this while preserving confidentiality. I used those services myself when I was in high school (but before that I had no idea they existed and I thought guidance counselors were only for helping you get into college).

Once you are an independent adult you get to set the boundaries for how much contact you have with your mother. I started as a college freshman at 17, 2500 miles away from my parents, visited home for a week twice a year, and suddenly it was a lot, lot easier to be happy.

Ten years after leaving for college, I have my own family, I see my family of origin about once a year, and when they visit they split time between me and the other relatives who live within a few hours of here. It works out very, very well.

It doesn’t have to be this way forever, even if it seems that way now!

 

[tawny]

Praying for you & your family.

 

[Giggly_Giraffe]

There is always a struggle between parents and children as the children are about to mature enough for independence. Movies like, “Finding Nemo”, share with us how each side causes and solves problems. One of my favorite TV shows was “Malcome in the Middle”. The mother, Lois, could never be wrong. There was a show where a police officer gave Lois a ticket for a traffic blunder. Lois insisted she did nOthing wrong and took it as far as she could to prove she was right. Well, security camera’s showed she was in the wrong and she was forced to goto traffic school. On the night she was forced to goto trafic school, her co-worker exchanged security camera’s with the company across the street and this new video tape clearly showed Lois was right, and the officer was wrong. However, her sons and her husband tackled this co-worker to keep this hush-hush so they could enjoy her being wrong (for once in her life). tv.com/m/shows/malcolm-in-the-middle/traffic-ticket-19779/

Anyways, glad you have BVM Mary as a mother. All I can recomend is find honorable obedience, and respectful humor to get you through a mule of a personality. I know it seems unfair, but no one ever promised you that life would be fair. You still have an imagination and you can still use this to goto your junior prom. You can also use your imagination to soften that mothers heart of yours and get to the prom. Lastly, you could always see if you could attend the prom virtually— yep, have a buddy stream you live and take you around the prom.