My Mother is now making me leave the Church

[Oneofthewomen]

To be quite honest, some of the responses in this thread are very troubling to me.

I am not a parent, but I could be the OP’s mother, and if my child came to me and told me a bunch of people on the internet said I was leading her to sin, not only would they be grounded, but it would be a long time before I let them near a computer again!

BVMFatima, please make an appointment with your priest, your sponsor and your mother. Listen to your mother’s concerns, treat her with respect and follow the guidance of your priest. I am sure there is much more going on here and it is really not fair to your mother or grandmother for anyone reading this not to hear their side of the story.

 

[Eufrosnia]

Thank you all for your support. Now she is saying I can go to Mass but I can no longer share my Catholic faith with anyone because she said she does not want to see me dead for a " man made religion". As a young male teenage convert this hurts me, and plus she said that it is horrible how I said I would die for my religion, which is " extremist and fundimentalist". She said religion divides people too much, only Jesus matters and that’s it, no matter what denomination she claims. How do I respond?

So refreshing to read your message and see a young person stand up for the Church like that!

Remember, no one can make you leave the Catholic Church if that is what you believe. No one can force you to believe. They can make you pretend, but they cannot make you believe.

About this particular issue, note that you do have an obligation to respect the authority of your parents when they do not advise something intrinsically immoral. So you can certainly disobey leaving the Church because that does fall in to that category and is a grave sin.

But on the issue of not trying to convert others by sharing your faith, it is a matter of prudence as to when to do it. It is not a grave sin for an example if you did not share your faith immediately with that person you meet every morning.

So I would advise that you pray to God about it and listen to her advise about that for now. If God does indeed want you to be an active preacher and sharer of your faith, he will change the heart of your parents. Also, there is no harm in sharing your faith when asked by others as to why you believe what you do.

I think the life of St. Thomas Aquinas may give you inspiration as well

ewtn.com/library/mary/tomaquin.htm

You can also ask for his intercession

 

[detoutcoeur]

Thank you all for your support. Now she is saying I can go to Mass but I can no longer share my Catholic faith with anyone because she said she does not want to see me dead for a " man made religion". As a young male teenage convert this hurts me, and plus she said that it is horrible how I said I would die for my religion, which is " extremist and fundimentalist". She said religion divides people too much, only Jesus matters and that’s it, no matter what denomination she claims. How do I respond?

Deo gratias! Humbly thank her for letting you go to Mass, and ask your pastor how to address her concerns. Nothing is more important than receiving the Precious Body and Blood of Christ.

 

[Auntie_A]

Thank you all for your support. Now she is saying I can go to Mass but I can no longer share my Catholic faith with anyone because she said she does not want to see me dead for a " man made religion". As a young male teenage convert this hurts me, and plus she said that it is horrible how I said I would die for my religion, which is " extremist and fundimentalist". She said religion divides people too much, only Jesus matters and that’s it, no matter what denomination she claims. How do I respond?

Ask your Mom what would she die for? A person? Her son? Or an idea? Religious freedom? Everyone has something they would die for (except a coward). You have a strong belief that you would die for. And you have a Mom who probably does not want to picture you dying for anything perhaps. Or she does not want you to die for something that she does not believe in. This is understandable.

Be calm. Be still. Be reasonable. No one wants you to die for your faith right now. Young people are passionate and idealistic and often express themselves in ways that make moms worry. Even my patriotic sister got crazy when her son told her that he wanted to join the Army.

Show your mother the Beatitudes, the spiritual and corporal works of mercy, The works of the Holy Spirit, the fruits of the Holy Spirit. Try not to scare her. Admit that it is kind of radical to love as Jesus did, but it is neither extremist nor fundamentalist. Learn what these words mean and get to know your faith. If you can defend it in front of your mom, you can defend it in front of others. But know what you are defending. You are not being requested to be a suicide terrorist. She might think that all orthodox religions are extremists like fanatic muslim terrorists. Tell her that there is enough political arguing amongst Catholics that we can hardly be damaging in that way.

Stay calm. Honor your Mom. Allow adversity to be your strength and education.

 

[Zekariya]

Acts 5:29 But Peter and the apostles answering, said: We ought to obey God, rather than men.

 

[angeldia30]

Number one: I’m glad you can go to Mass! 2) Study Church History and about Martyrs and the Saints and show her that your not the only one who has proclaimed their love and fidelity to the Church by giving up their lives for the Church. Just say that you are very loyal and faith to Church teaching.

 

[constantconvert]

First, I am so glad your mom is letting you go to Mass! Be sure to THANK her for allowing you this concession.

Second, Jehovah’s WItnesses and Mormons are non-Christian cults. Islam is heresy. Many if not most Protestant churches would adhere to the tenants in the creeds. We hold the same basic beliefs, they just get a lot of stuff wrong.

Third, I was in the exact same position as you were when I was 16. So I’m going to give you 30 years of hindsight and experience. Do you want your family to become Catholic? Then do not use your religion as a point of rebellion. Do not argue, do not disobey, do not lose your temper. I spent YEARS rebuilding the bridge between my parents and me, in regard to religion, because it got to the point where they did not want to hear it, so it was a subject we couldn’t talk about. I was rebellious, only instead of it coming out with drugs, etc, it came out in religion. And in some ways it was worse because I knew I WAS RIGHT!

Humble yourself. The cardinal virtue is charity. Speak respectfully, and explain to your parents that this is not a man made religion, this is the Church Jesus left us. If they are willing, give them some good books to read Scott Hahn’s Home Sweet Rome would be a good one. Pray for them. Be extra helpful around the house, and expect no thanks-- this may do more to show your mother that your faith is true than any words you can use. Do not have too many discussions about it. Point out similarities, and talk about your love for Jesus. What you must realize is that your parents are **worried **about you. They fear you have fallen under the spell of something that is false. So focus on what your faiths have in common. If you are humble, you will open doors and God will work in their hearts.

Do you know about the green scapular? Get one and put it between their mattress and box spring.

Pray to Joan of Arc. She was young, and not perfectly clear on theology. She made some incorrect statements, and when she refused to retract the assertion that it was the saints of God who had commanded her to do what she had done she was martyred. In short, she will understand your zeal for God and his church, and the need for humility.

 

[HelenRose]

Do not follow your Mothers command.

Remain a faithful Catholic.

You’re 16, you can drive… If hard times are pressed… I don’t recommend it, but if you have to… tell her you’re going to a Protestant service, but go to a Catholic Mass instead. Tell her the pastors sermon was great. (Wouldn’t be lying there )

Talk to a priest, maybe your mother and the priest can get into contact.

If you have to go Wednesday Nights to a protestant service… go to Church to adore the Sacrament for an hour.

I strongly disagree with lying about this. Perhaps you accept being grounded with courage and gentleness. Do not fight, argue or complain. Quietly and gently accept the rules while holding firm to your convictions.

And most important pray.

 

[CB_Catholic]

Since your mother is now permitting you to go to Mass, I think you should just go to Mass, quietly study your faith, and keep your mouth shut about religion until you are old enough to be on your own. And always show love and respect to your mother.

 

[maryjk]

Since your mother is now permitting you to go to Mass, I think you should just go to Mass, quietly study your faith, and keep your mouth shut about religion until you are old enough to be on your own. And always show love and respect to your mother.

 

[Spirit_of_Truth]

Thank you all for your support. Now she is saying I can go to Mass but I can no longer share my Catholic faith with anyone because she said she does not want to see me dead for a " man made religion". As a young male teenage convert this hurts me, and plus she said that it is horrible how I said I would die for my religion, which is " extremist and fundimentalist". She said religion divides people too much, only Jesus matters and that’s it, no matter what denomination she claims. How do I respond?

I find it admirable that you wish to commit to God’s Church in the same way our beloved saints have. For has She not given us much fruit by which we may know Her.

“only Jesus matters”

Oh, Jesus certainly does matter (a lot) but had Jesus only thought of his Father alone in a selfish way, and not us (you) then we would be in a fine pickle. Therefore, tell your mother kindly to embrace your heart in the spirit of freedom as Jesus had that you may bring more joy, souls to him; your little way. The Catholic Church is the good shepherd of souls; everyone matters.

Bless your heart!

 

[Hmgbrd]

Since your mother is now permitting you to go to Mass, I think you should just go to Mass, quietly study your faith, and keep your mouth shut about religion until you are old enough to be on your own. And always show love and respect to your mother.

So happy that you can go to mass now. This is good advice.
PS. I would also not only thank your mother, but also tell her that you love her.

As far as talking about your faith is concerned, remember was St. Francis said.
*Evangelize always, when necessary use words. *

Be the best living example of a Catholic that you can be without words. Your light will shine for all to see.

 

[SonCatcher]

First, I am so glad your mom is letting you go to Mass! Be sure to THANK her for allowing you this concession.

Do you know about the green scapular? Get one and put it between their mattress and box spring.

If you do that, see if you can embed it in the box spring where it cannot be seen. People sometimes turn their mattresses over and then it would be found. Only use the Green Scapular in conjunction with prayer. It is superstition to think it is efficacious of its own. Only God converts people.

Since your mother is now permitting you to go to Mass, I think you should just go to Mass, quietly study your faith, and keep your mouth shut about religion until you are old enough to be on your own. And always show love and respect to your mother.

It is best to keep harmony in the home while you are under another person’s roof. There will be plenty of opportunity to evangelize later.

 

[TimothyH]

It does.

But not directly.

Protestantism is a heresy, and all adherents to Protestantism is therefore: Heretics.

We just don’t say it directly.

Only a baptized Catholic can be a heretic.

CCC 2089: “Heresy is the obstinate post-baptismal denial of some truth which must be believed with divine and catholic faith, or it is likewise an obstinate doubt concerning the same;”

Those who believe things which the Church teaches are in error through no fault of their own are not heritics. Someone born into a non-Catholic home and raised in a non-Catholic religion, by definition, cannot be a heretic.

I wish people would stop throwing that word around like a hand grenade.

-Tim-

 

[TimothyH]

It is best to keep harmony in the home while you are under another person’s roof. There will be plenty of opportunity to evangelize later.

Yours is an awsome post.

I hope everyone can watch St. Josemaria Escriva expound on this idea to a 13 year old Jewish girl who’s parents will not allow her to convert.

youtube.com/watch?v=xSTvG_PUE9E&noredirect=1

***You will be a good daughter of Christ if you are a good daughter of your parents. **

• St. Josemaria Escriva*

This video of a Catholic saint is sublimely moving.

-Tim-

 

[Armor_of_Light]

First, I am so glad your mom is letting you go to Mass! Be sure to THANK her for allowing you this concession.

Second, Jehovah’s WItnesses and Mormons are non-Christian cults. Islam is heresy. Many if not most Protestant churches would adhere to the tenants in the creeds. We hold the same basic beliefs, they just get a lot of stuff wrong.

Third, I was in the exact same position as you were when I was 16. So I’m going to give you 30 years of hindsight and experience. Do you want your family to become Catholic? Then do not use your religion as a point of rebellion. Do not argue, do not disobey, do not lose your temper. I spent YEARS rebuilding the bridge between my parents and me, in regard to religion, because it got to the point where they did not want to hear it, so it was a subject we couldn’t talk about. I was rebellious, only instead of it coming out with drugs, etc, it came out in religion. And in some ways it was worse because I knew I WAS RIGHT!

Humble yourself. The cardinal virtue is charity. Speak respectfully, and explain to your parents that this is not a man made religion, this is the Church Jesus left us. If they are willing, give them some good books to read Scott Hahn’s Home Sweet Rome would be a good one. Pray for them. Be extra helpful around the house, and expect no thanks-- this may do more to show your mother that your faith is true than any words you can use. Do not have too many discussions about it. Point out similarities, and talk about your love for Jesus. What you must realize is that your parents are **worried **about you. They fear you have fallen under the spell of something that is false. So focus on what your faiths have in common. If you are humble, you will open doors and God will work in their hearts.

Do you know about the green scapular? Get one and put it between their mattress and box spring.

Pray to Joan of Arc. She was young, and not perfectly clear on theology. She made some incorrect statements, and when she refused to retract the assertion that it was the saints of God who had commanded her to do what she had done she was martyred. In short, she will understand your zeal for God and his church, and the need for humility.

Finally! Someone pipes up who has experience living through this situation…
It seems like such a surreal condition I’m amazed anyone else has the first hand knowledge and mileage to give such great advice.

OP. I must admit when I stumbled across this thread I was going to tell you to move out and call them all heretics, but I see this response as being the best.

 

[Francoist]

I am glad that you can go to Mass. I hope that you will consider cultivating a devotion to Blessed Jose Sanchez del Rio. He was a servant of Jesus Christ who defended the Church during the Communist revolution in Mexico. Troops loyal to the atheist dictator of Mexico tortured Blessed Jose and promised to stop only if he would deny Cristo Rey, “Christ the King”. Even though he was only 15 years old, they skinned the bottoms of his feet and chopped him with machetes. Then then led him to a place of execution. They asked him again to deny Cristo Rey and he would not so they stabbed him many times with bayonets and then shot him. As he died, he drew a cross in the ground and proclaimed ¡Viva Cristo Rey!

For the purposes of diplomacy, while you are at home you might refrain from saying that Protestants are heretics. However, they clearly are heretics and it was correct of you to observe that. In fact, their denial of the True Presence of Our Lord Jesus Christ in the Holy Eucharist verges on blasphemy. It is very charitable to point this out to them because otherwise their souls are in peril. However… right now your mother has great power over you.

I come from a home with an abusive mother (she is better now!). I’m not saying yours is abusive, but the point is the same: you have to pick your battles! You are in a tough spot and are going to have to say lots of rosaries.

 

[felsguy]

No it would not be better.

Until such time that the OP is 18, she must follow her mother’s rules. If the rules are that the OP doesn’t attend Mass, but instead goes to a protestant service, then that is what she does.

Missing Mass would not be, at that time, a mortal sin. (Remember the 3 conditions of a mortal sin.)

Once the OP is an adult and able to support herself, she will then be required to go to Mass.

And, OP, in the meantime, I would suggest that you don’t pick fights with your mother by calling her or your grandmother, heretics. It would be better to quietly attend the services required by your mother, and keep Catholicism in your heart. When you are able, go back to worshiping as you wish.

This. By the way, the OP is a young man

.

 

[Salusa]

Hello,

Sadly today I had a discussion with her where she is trying to get me to go to my GrandMothers Church and go to youth group. Now I told her that I don’t want to because its not Catholic and she said " its only about Jesus, not Religion!" (This is a non denom Church). I told her that I would never give up the faith for such heretics that I would die for the faith, she said I am taking it too far and that I became a radical extremist fundimentalist. Now she is having me leave the Church. I don’t know what to do anymore. She said I have no right to share my religious beliefs with others and convert them to the Church. She is now having me leave Catholicism. I’m just so depressed now.

Thank you everyone for all your help in giving me advice for how to increase my faith. May God Bless you all.

BVMFatima

Honor your father and your mother.

Remember your mom cares about you, and she is trying to do what she thinks is right, whether or not its the right decision.

You are 16 so you are subject to your parents. No one can make you give up your faith. But I would say just go to the church your mom wants you to go to, tell the pastor there you are forced against your will to be there, he will understand. Lots of kids are forced to go to church. Take what you can from the service, they will preach from the bible, so listen and take the good, and throw out the bad. Try to be cordial and friendly to the people there (blessed are the peacemakers), without insulting them by calling them heretics. Maybe you could use the opportunity to witness for your faith, but I guarantee calling them heretics in their own church won’t turn on anyone to the message you are trying to preach.

My $.02

 

[LilyM]

Number one: I’m glad you can go to Mass! 2) Study Church History and about Martyrs and the Saints and show her that your not the only one who has proclaimed their love and fidelity to the Church by giving up their lives for the Church. Just say that you are very loyal and faith to Church teaching.

This. Remember you are a recent convert, and so very young in the faith. Take time to really get to know it for now - it will not be long before you are independent and of age and can share it all with whomever you please.

Also study saints such as Francis de Sales. He had a special charism for communicating with non-Catholic Christians in a charitable way which brought many into the Catholic fold. Not only that but he is even venerated as a saint by some Anglicans!

A similarly good saint to look into is John Henry Newman, an Anglican cleric who converted to Catholicism and again was good at bridging the gaps between Catholics and other Christians.