My Mother's view of Priesthood

[Lux_de_Avicula]

So family life is as it always has been.
I have lots of problems communicating with my dear mother. I was originally raised in a family who does not go to church and does not encourage religious life. I am well on the way to being a diocesan priest, but there is conflict in that she does not want me to to go down this path, more and more conflict arises and it just spirals into a negative loop of criticism.

Here are some reasons for her reproach:

1. She wishes the best for my success and wants to see me earn lots of money.
2. Celibacy. She would have liked to have some grandchildren.
3. The whole idea annoys her, of being a religious figure.

I can understand why she may feel this way, and would anyone recommend a way to ease her worrying?
How could I mend the relationship even when I try my hardest to treat her with lots of kindness?

And thank you in advance for replying

 

[Michael57]

Although I regularly pray for our priests, deacons, bishops, and the Pope, I must admit that I failed to include their families, which I will amend.

I cannot offer any solution other than that of a son that chose a career that my mother would never approve of, as she would approve of none that would outshine her other sons. She was a very difficult person to grow up around, and very image and money conscious/status conscious. And generally unhappy with me as her son. I don’t know why. A while back my priest and I decided that was her problem, and not mine. God bless her.

What I can share is that everyone has family that doesn’t approve of our choices. We must each try to do the best with our own lives. And we must love those that know how to hurt us with their disapproval.

You are doing a wonderful thing. A very high calling. Follow it, and know that God is adding to your family. Press on.

God Bless!

 

[Lux_de_Avicula]

Although I regularly pray for our priests, deacons, bishops, and the Pope, I must admit that I failed to include their families, which I will amend.

I cannot offer any solution other than that of a son that chose a career that my mother would never approve of, as she would approve of none that would outshine her other sons. She was a very difficult person to grow up around, and very image and money conscious/status conscious. And generally unhappy with me as her son. I don’t know why. A while back my priest and I decided that was her problem, and not mine. God bless her.

What I can share is that everyone has family that doesn’t approve of our choices. We must each try to do the best with our own lives. And we must love those that know how to hurt us with their disapproval.

You are doing a wonderful thing. A very high calling. Follow it, and know that God is adding to your family. Press on.

God Bless!

Thank you very much for your support!
Truly, you speak great words of wisdom, I suppose we must all face challenges for every choice we make in life, And to seek the best for others who are feeling pain and discomfort.

 

[Used2beSherryG]

I will pray for your mother who is having a problem separating her own ambitions from those of her children. This is a problem in many families and adult children who depart from the dreams of the parent for their lives must come to a point where the approval of the parent is not critical. I will pray for you on your journey to do what God is calling you to do.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

I think you are doing well under the circumstances. It is tough when parents don’t approve of our paths in life. I’ve also experienced this and found that avoiding conflict and doing my own thing quietly and with dignity was the best thing I could do. You are doing something noble, but your mother doesn’t understand. Maybe she never will. Keep praying for her. and always be kind to her.

I’m praying for both of you.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

So family life is as it always has been.
I have lots of problems communicating with my dear mother. I was originally raised in a family who does not go to church and does not encourage religious life. I am well on the way to being a diocesan priest, but there is conflict in that she does not want me to to go down this path, more and more conflict arises and it just spirals into a negative loop of criticism.

Here are some reasons for her reproach:

1. She wishes the best for my success and wants to see me earn lots of money.
2. Celibacy. She would have liked to have some grandchildren.
3. The whole idea annoys her, of being a religious figure.

I can understand why she may feel this way, and would anyone recommend a way to ease her worrying?
How could I mend the relationship even when I try my hardest to treat her with lots of kindness?

And thank you in advance for replying

Your mother is worldly and you are “other-worldly” in your choice of a vocation. IF she does not see the priesthood as an incredible call from God, it’s going to be difficult to get that across to her. Keep going in spite of her concerns, because you are doing the right thing. Her opinion is that of most of society, not a Catholic mother. But pray for her, she may yet realize what a true blessing your vocational call really is.

This Catholic mother would be absolutely thrilled if one of my sons received a call to the priesthood. Of course I would have grieving to do, because I also hope that both of them are called to the vocation of marriage and fatherhood, but what an amazing Fatherhood a priest has!!!

I will add you to my prayers. Is your father supportive? Are you an only child?

 

[SamH]

Your mother is worldly and you are “other-worldly” in your choice of a vocation. IF she does not see the priesthood as an incredible call from God, it’s going to be difficult to get that across to her.

Agreed. It’s like the “Jeep thing”, if I have to explain it to you, you probably still won’t understand it. People ask me the same thing about taking in foster children - usually followed with - you don’t need money that bad do you?

 

[manualman]

Wealth is a strange thing. The more you have, the more it tends to own YOU instead of the other way around. In a way, priests have the best sort of wealth: their basic needs of life are provided for wholly so that they need not worry about finances and can focus on what really matters in life. Priests rarely have much in the way of luxuries (unless they have a separate source of income), but luxuries are among the most highly over-rated things on the planet. They take up vast resources, but rarely give you more than a fleeting pleasure before fading into background noise and then you need more to feed the rush. Kind of like drugs, actually!

There’s no “fixing” the desire to be a grandparent. If you’re an only child, that’s hardly your fault though. You can’t let guilt or manipulation determine your life’s path. Listen to what God is presenting you, not what you Mom wants for you.

I suspect celibacy IS the hardest part of priesthood, especially in these days when priests rarely get to sink down more than 12 years of roots before being tossed among strangers again. Personally, I think that’s a terrible policy and that nobody would ever have heard of St. John Vianney had it been the policy in his day. But that’s another subject!

 

[Lux_de_Avicula]

Your mother is worldly and you are “other-worldly” in your choice of a vocation. IF she does not see the priesthood as an incredible call from God, it’s going to be difficult to get that across to her. Keep going in spite of her concerns, because you are doing the right thing. Her opinion is that of most of society, not a Catholic mother. But pray for her, she may yet realize what a true blessing your vocational call really is.

This Catholic mother would be absolutely thrilled if one of my sons received a call to the priesthood. Of course I would have grieving to do, because I also hope that both of them are called to the vocation of marriage and fatherhood, but what an amazing Fatherhood a priest has!!!

I will add you to my prayers. Is your father supportive? Are you an only child?

I’m Glad to hear that you would be happy! Yes I agree that there will always be that kind of conflict in the world too. :yup:

Well… I haven’t really talked much with my father all year. He always seems “too busy” and is of Jewish background so things get complicated there however,I suppose all I can do is pray for the best, and continue to support my parents however I can.
Life is sometimes a balancing act, and we have to keep going back and forth to make as many people happy, but there will always be uncertainty with everyone. :juggle:
Maybe when she sees how happy I am through this vocation, she may stop doubting if it is truly such a bad thing. :hug3:

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I’m Glad to hear that you would be happy! Yes I agree that there will always be that kind of conflict in the world too. :yup:

Well… I haven’t really talked much with my father all year. He always seems “too busy” and is of Jewish background so things get complicated there however,I suppose all I can do is pray for the best, and continue to support my parents however I can.
Life is sometimes a balancing act, and we have to keep going back and forth to make as many people happy, but there will always be uncertainty with everyone. :juggle:
Maybe when she sees how happy I am through this vocation, she may stop doubting if it is truly such a bad thing. :hug3:

OK, so your parents were in a very mixed marriage…What a blessing that you have such a strong faith that you heard God’s calling to become a priest! Frankly that’s astounding and very exciting!

Eventually, your mother will have to come around, no mother can fail to see her child’s deep happiness, even if it means her own dreams have to die. If she can understand how many people you will affect across your entire life - it’s WAY better than even having grandchildren! She may not think that way about priests, so I’m not sure if she will realize what a wonderful joy she should have for you, but we can all pray for her!

I would just caution you about your statement that “we have to keep going back and forth to make as many people happy.” You may not have thought that out properly, but it’s not people we need to worry about, it’s God. People will either be happy or not, depending upon so many factors. We’re not after happiness here on earth, we’re after the JOY that comes from knowing and loving Jesus. He takes us from mere happiness that comes and goes like a butterfly, to a deep and abiding JOY that passes all understanding, in any circumstance.

Can I ask you to pray for my 19 year old son who got bad news about his college career yesterday? I don’t know what he will do in the future and of course I want to know! I want to help him! I want him to find his path! God has control, and sometimes that’s hard to accept. Pray for me too! Thank you so much!

 

[Lux_de_Avicula]

OK, so your parents were in a very mixed marriage…What a blessing that you have such a strong faith that you heard God’s calling to become a priest! Frankly that’s astounding and very exciting!

Eventually, your mother will have to come around, no mother can fail to see her child’s deep happiness, even if it means her own dreams have to die. If she can understand how many people you will affect across your entire life - it’s WAY better than even having grandchildren! She may not think that way about priests, so I’m not sure if she will realize what a wonderful joy she should have for you, but we can all pray for her!

I would just caution you about your statement that “we have to keep going back and forth to make as many people happy.” You may not have thought that out properly, but it’s not people we need to worry about, it’s God. People will either be happy or not, depending upon so many factors. We’re not after happiness here on earth, we’re after the JOY that comes from knowing and loving Jesus. He takes us from mere happiness that comes and goes like a butterfly, to a deep and abiding JOY that passes all understanding, in any circumstance.

Can I ask you to pray for my 19 year old son who got bad news about his college career yesterday? I don’t know what he will do in the future and of course I want to know! I want to help him! I want him to find his path! God has control, and sometimes that’s hard to accept. Pray for me too! Thank you so much!

I suppose that I should have rethought that statement or phrased it better… Oops!
I’m sure your son will find his calling when the time comes, just as I had. All my failures in life has actually led me to reinforce and guide me.:hey_bud:
Maybe the bad news will lead him later on in life to something he truly enjoys.
I’ll continue to pray for us all, that families may be able to find the strength they need to endure the hardships provided and to find peace knowing that God leads us always.

 

[HolyRosaryChild]

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++

God’s Spirit is in my heart,
He has called me and set me apart.
This is what I have to do,
what I have to do.

He sent me to give the Good News to the poor,
Tell prisoners that they are prisoners no more,
Tell blind people that they can see,
And set the downtrodden free
And go tell everyone the news that the Kingdom of God has come,
And go tell everyone the news that the Kingdom of God has come.

Just as the Father sent me,
So I’m sending you out to be
My witnesses throughout the world,
The whole of the world.

Don’t worry what you have to say,
Don’t worry because on that day
God’s Spirit will speak in your heart,
Will speak in your heart.

Always follow God’s Callings and His Heart through your Heart; once the time is gone it cannot be replayed!

Love and best wishes

 

[His_helpmeet]

You might remind her of the gift of Blessed Louis Martin and Blessed Marie-Azelie Martin. They had five daughters, all of whom became the Brides of Christ. One of their daughters became a saint - you likely know her better as St. Therese of Lisieux, the Little Flower of Jesus.

Unfortunately, I seem to notice a trend today in that parents, mothers in particular, seem to be wanting to “live vicariously” through their children. I’ve heard of numerous situations in which the grandparents effectively wanted to “parent” the grandchildren, or wanted their kids to do something they weren’t able to do. It seems to me that at the end of the day, you may need to say to your mother, “Mom, I understand your concerns, but you have to consider the fact that I need to follow God’s Will, not yours.” Yes, it is true that she will not have grandchildren. However, it is possible that God may be calling her to some other work instead. It’s certainly possible that she could decide to work with children in other ways, such as working with young people’s groups.

At the end of the day, it seems to me that this is her problem, not yours. Your job is to accept and follow the Will of God - this is Blessed Teresa of Calcutta’s definition of holiness. Continue to pray for your mother - your prayers may well help her to attain heaven. You might ask your bishop if it would be possible for you to offer your first Mass for her special intentions.