My neighbor...the surrogate mother

[KCT]

“How should I respond in these conversations?.. So far, I try to change the subject and just deflect onto the babies and say something neutral like, “I bet it was hard carrying twins, but they are adorable.” Is it sinful NOT to speak up?”

I think you’re on the right track. You don’t need to comment on the means of conception any more than you would comment on the normal means of conception! If you feel you’re being pushed to offer a comment, say you’re not comfortable talking about such personal and intimate things as conception in a party setting. (might make them ponder how person and intimate IVF is, but that’s not the point…)

In general, I don’t think holiday parties are the time or place to get into heavy theological or moral discussions. If the mom in question asks for your opinion later, by all means find a charitable way to share it with her.

 

[ineeda]

I think you are on the right track. You can comment on how beautiful the babies are, and leave it at that. I would not comment on the surrogacy act at all. I do not think that you are required to speak up. The act was already done, so it is not that you are going to save her from committing it. To say anything at this point would be a judgmental comment. It would benefit nobody, Now, if she were to ask your opinion, then you share your beliefs with her. Other than that, I would say nothing about the surrogacy act.

 

[Eliza10]

I feel your pain. I actually brought your question up in confession over this past weekend.

I have some acquaintances who have done things that go against church teaching and when the behavior comes up in conversation, I feel really awkward and try my best to not say anything in support of their behavior but have deflected the topic, just as you described.

In confession, I asked if it was a sin that I wasn’t speaking up about their behavior and the priest told me that it is only appropriate to offer moral correction in these situations if the person is showing signs that they are receptive to spiritual correction (e.g., searching for moral answers, guidance).

Hope that helps:thumbsup:

I like this advice, too.