My new job is making me insane HELP!!!!!

[WildCatholic]

I need some advice. So I just got my first teaching job as a social studies and theology teacher at a small Catholic school. First of all let me say that I love finally living on my own (I graduated 2 years ago and now i’m 25) and I also love the school i’m at since the staff is pretty nice and understanding.

Now here is the bad part. I feel like I struggle so much every day. I try and do good lessons but kids treat me like i’m some big dumb marshmallow man who can’t enforce discipline. It doesn’t help that there’s the demands of planning every night and having little free time except for most of the weekend. I also feel like i’m not that good of a teacher because of this and that I probably have poor social skills and should be some poor burger flipping loser instead of a teacher. It gets so bad that some nights I find myself punching myself when I make little mistakes and worry that if I make too many i’ll get fired from my job and go back home and be in debt until i die (and of course then my debt will fall to my relatives).

I feel at time like I wish I could get a different job but all an education degree qualifies you for is bagging groceries unless you teach. I don’t really have many other interests and honestly I’d rather have a steady job even if I die of a stress heart attack at some point because I don’t want to be some loser who lives with his mom and can’t pay his debts like I was for the past few years. I also don’t want to add more debt so going back to school would be foolish. But on the flip side I don’t want to be some blue collar slob that no one respects working some job that a robot could eventually do. Women don’t like guys like that and being more of a thinking man, I feel like i’d be wasting my mind, but it would be easier and maybe Iwouldn’t complain as much since my body would be so tired I wouldn’t have energy to say anything at all.

As for my faith life. It’s okay but I feel like God could care less about my problems. I could be a hungry homeless man on the street and I feel like God would just say to me “pray and go to mass and get the sacraments” and not even care to give me some food. I try to pray but I find it doesn’t help. Anymore i feel like if God wanted me cured of all this strength and anxiety he’d do it or show me how. Not just sit around like whatever allowing bad things to happen to everyone in the world.

So does anyone have any suggestions? I feel like such a freak and a terrible Catholic for not being more happy. I sometimes wish I just had no emotions and was like god’s robot or something and just didn’t care about any of this other **** or that I could just go out to the woods or the desert and just chill with God and not have any stress (definitely not feasible in this world)

 

[pensmama87]

I am a former teacher (now stay-at-home mom).

It is the beginning of the year and the kids will test you to figure out if you say what you mean and mean what you say. It helps a lot if they find out that you do. It is a huge temptation to go easy on kids so that they will like you. But I would work hard to earn respect, because then they are more likely to learn. That can be hard for a younger teacher (my teaching internship was for 12th grade, when I was 21 years old. I had to work really hard to cultivate respect in that classroom but boy, was it worth it!)

Be gentle with yourself. I only ever taught in public schools, but I always had an assigned mentor. Does your school have something like that? Do you have someone you could seek advice from?

You’ll also get better at these things over time. It’s normal for a job to seem really, really hard and confusing at first, even if it’s something you have a natural knack for. The environment is new, the boss is new, the kids are new, the lessons are new. Over time, especially if you tend to teach the same courses year to year, the new school year will get easier to adjust to. It’s completely, 100% normal and okay that it is not going perfectly from the very beginning, and it’s not a sign that you are not or will never be a good teacher.

Some of the other feelings you describe make me wonder if you might benefit from counseling. I don’t know what the benefit packages are like for you, but if you have access to counseling, it would be useful. There are things you can do to help manage your anxiety. Reading your post makes me think you might have issues with perfectionism, which is a minefield for anxiety (personal experience talking). A neutral person outside of your situation might be a big help for you with that.

Feel free to PM me if you would like. I remember new school year jitters.

 

[1ke]

Now here is the bad part. I feel like I struggle so much every day.

I’m so sorry you are struggling. The first year of teaching is very difficult. What was your student teaching experience like? Did you learn many tips/tricks from your cooperating teacher?

I try and do good lessons but kids treat me like i’m some big dumb marshmallow man who can’t enforce discipline.

NIP THAT IN THE BUD RIGHT NOW. You need to have fair, consistent class rules and you need to enforce them. If you did not receive training in classroom management during teacher training, then talk to your principal, enlist their help, and get some coaching from a senior teacher.

The main things are to be consistent, and to have the students engaged bell to bell. Routine is extremely important-- kids should know what to do when they come in your room, from the time they walk in to the time they leave. Have a problem or something they work on as you are taking roll and focus them in right from the beginning.

I personally like the assertive discipline model of Lee and Marlene Canter. But every teacher has to find what works for them. And the Catholic school you teach in may have their own model they follow.

It doesn’t help that there’s the demands of planning every night and having little free time except for most of the weekend.

Yes, the first year is difficult. Use your resources wisely-- such as Pinterest, Google, and other internet resources. You can also have the kids do some of the heavy lifting. Assign them some project work that they use time in class to work on, and have homework. Have THEM teach some lessons to each other (Jigsaw technique). Have them use PowerPoint or other technology to present. This will give YOU time to get ahead of them in lesson planning.

You don’t have to take a grade on everything. You can give check mark grades for participation and doing the homework. The trick is to do this randomly so kids will do the work regardless of whether it’s for a grade or towards participation. And of course, go over the answers no matter what so they know what they missed.

I also feel like i’m not that good of a teacher because of this and that I probably have poor social skills and should be some poor burger flipping loser instead of a teacher.

If you believe this about yourself then you can be assured the kids are picking up on it and following your lead. STOP the negative self-talk. Get therapy if you have to. Where did this come from??? You are bright, you have a degree, you are the teacher.

I hope it helps knowing that the first year of teaching sucks for just about everyone. I had no life. I did lesson plans, grading, and worked like a dog the whole first year.

Most kids want to learn. Most kids want to be good in class. Most kids are going to behave. What they want and need is structure and engagement.

It gets so bad that some nights I find myself punching myself when I make little mistakes and worry that if I make too many i’ll get fired from my job and go back home and be in debt until i die (and of course then my debt will fall to my relatives).

Again, stop the negative self talk. Get professional counseling if this is how you view yourself.

I feel at time like I wish I could get a different job but all an education degree qualifies you for is bagging groceries unless you teach.

Um, as a senior director level manager in the talent development (training) field in the corporate world, I beg to differ.

But on the flip side I don’t want to be some blue collar slob that no one respects working some job that a robot could eventually do. Women don’t like guys like that and being more of a thinking man, I feel like i’d be wasting my mind, but it would be easier and maybe Iwouldn’t complain as much since my body would be so tired I wouldn’t have energy to say anything at all.

This is a sign of some serious issues on your part. There is nothing wrong with blue collar work and it pays quite well. What you have written is very insulting to blue collar individuals who work hard and are not viewed as slobs by their family and friends.

You are really down on yourself

As for my faith life. It’s okay but I feel like God could care less about my problems. I could be a hungry homeless man on the street and I feel like God would just say to me “pray and go to mass and get the sacraments” and not even care to give me some food. I try to pray but I find it doesn’t help. Anymore i feel like if God wanted me cured of all this strength and anxiety he’d do it or show me how. Not just sit around like whatever allowing bad things to happen to everyone in the world.

You definitely need some spiritual assistance and some counseling. This is not a frame of mind to be in when teaching theology.

So does anyone have any suggestions?

Get some mentoring from a senior teacher. Discuss your need for classroom management assistance with your principal.

But, all your personal issues are bleeding over into your job, and until you get OK with yourself these other things are just symptoms of the problems.

I feel like such a freak and a terrible Catholic for not being more happy. I sometimes wish I just had no emotions and was like god’s robot or something and just didn’t care about any of this other **** or that I could just go out to the woods or the desert and just chill with God and not have any stress (definitely not feasible in this world)

Get some counseling with a holy priest or Catholic therapist.

 

[WildCatholic]

Okay to respond to this, first of all i’m sorry if I offended with the term "blue collar slob’ but I guess by this I mean guys who don’t have any ounce of ambition what so ever and do some low level job that doesn’t require any sort of smarts. I am the son of a farmer turned factory worker myself who actually had a measure of responsibility and such in both of his jobs. I don’t consider guys who go to school to weld or drive truck as slobs. I’m talking about people who work jobs like flipping burgers or bagging groceries. Stuff that HS students could do.

Also you mentioned how you are a senior level whatever. God for you, you probably had skills to help you. Anybody with half a brain knows that skills are more important than some fancy degree. Why do you think we have English majors working as coffee slingers at starbucks or Sociology majors working at target? I know some can and will get lucky but i’m sure you had skills in the business world. I don’t. therefore I have few options with a teaching degree if I leave.

Also you mentioned how bright I seem because of the degree and all that. Honestly it doesn’t take much work to get a teaching degree. I know folks in my classes who spent all their free time smoking ,dope and going to bars and got teaching jobs quicker than I did (granted i’m in a more saturated field and they were not, so it wasn’t a matter of me being a jerk which kept me from a job) and some studies say education is the easiest degree to get. So maybe i’m not all that bright.I’d like to think i am but what does it matter what I think?

Last thing, you mentioned student teaching. It sucked. I taught in a minority heavy district with kids who could care less about school because they’d just go work at a meat packing plant once they hit 18. I was also told that I had trouble with consistency and all that jazz but no one ever taught us that too well in college. It was all content which was great but classroom management just seemed hard to me once I got in the real world because we didn’t have a class like that in school. It was like I was expected to be super teacher and when I wasn’t I was criticized and told by my Cooperating teacher that I lost his “good class” and that i’d have trouble even if I taught at some upper class private school. I guess this makes me feel like I just don’t got it. I’m sure it happens to lots of people. I’m sure there are kids who want to grow up to be doctors but don’t have the smarts or kids who want to be pro football players but don’t have the size or strength. I guess I wonder if i’m even good at anything or if I should just go be stuck in some minimum wage job where I don’t get any respect and doesn’t have anything stimulating.

And yes i’ve done counseling. It helped but i don’t have the funds for it and honestly why should I spend my whole life spent between a classroom and a doctor’s office? I just want to be normal and not sad or angry anymore. That’s the other thing too. I have no way to share my frustrations. If something goes wrong I can’t go yell at the kids or tell the teacher i’m struggling. I feel like it’s just smile and keep it inside until I finally get home and then let loose.

I just sometimes wish I had none of these problems. Honestly if it wasn’t for God and the fact suicide sends you straight to hell, i’d consider it. But then of course I have debt and that would go to my family

 

[Xantippe]

I need some advice. So I just got my first teaching job as a social studies and theology teacher at a small Catholic school. First of all let me say that I love finally living on my own (I graduated 2 years ago and now i’m 25) and I also love the school i’m at since the staff is pretty nice and understanding.

**Everybody struggles a lot their first year or two teaching. I was a Peace Corps Volunteer and the first year, all you do is make mistakes. The second year, you see the mistakes and start having answers, but you’re still screwing up a lot. And then in the Peace Corps, you leave after two years usually, so that’s it.

There’s nothing unusual about your situation as a first year teacher. In fact, if you couldn’t see the mistakes, it would probably just mean you were screwing up worse.
**

Now here is the bad part. I feel like I struggle so much every day. I try and do good lessons but kids treat me like i’m some big dumb marshmallow man who can’t enforce discipline.

**Yes, it’s called being a first year teacher. Your school expected this when they hired you. Success, for you, means getting through the school year without quitting.

1. Talk to nice older colleagues about your problems and don’t be embarrassed about it.
2. Read Transforming the Difficult Child, The Explosive Child and Lost at School. Also, read Don’t Shoot the Dog. Your colleagues may have other good suggestions for reading.
3. Watch Entre les Murs and figure out what the teacher is doing wrong.
4. Be very careful and think before you say stuff to kids.
   **

It doesn’t help that there’s the demands of planning every night and having little free time except for most of the weekend.

This should improve over the next year or two.

I also feel like i’m not that good of a teacher because of this and that I probably have poor social skills and should be some poor burger flipping loser instead of a teacher. It gets so bad that some nights I find myself punching myself when I make little mistakes and worry that if I make too many i’ll get fired from my job and go back home and be in debt until i die (and of course then my debt will fall to my relatives).

**1. Your school expected this when they hired a new teacher.
2. Seek counseling (some counselors have night hours) and talk to your doctor about your feelings.
3. If you get fired, you can put your loan into deferrment.
4. If you live a normal length of time, the loan will get paid off, even on a low-wage job, unless it’s something totally ridiculous ($100k).
5. Unless your relatives co-signed, they’re fine. Debt does not get inherited. It may be part of a larger estate, but in the normal course of events, when an estate is outweighed by the debt, the prospective heirs can just say “no thanks!” and walk on and there’s no problem. **

I feel at time like I wish I could get a different job but all an education degree qualifies you for is bagging groceries unless you teach. I don’t really have many other interests and honestly I’d rather have a steady job even if I die of a stress heart attack at some point because I don’t want to be some loser who lives with his mom and can’t pay his debts like I was for the past few years.

**Stick it out for another year or two and see yourself getting better.

By the way, do you have a teaching mentor? If not, ask for one and meet regularly to improve your teaching. **

I also don’t want to add more debt so going back to school would be foolish.

**Good. If teaching doesn’t work out for you three years from now, you might consider doing community college courses to retrain. You can also work during the summer and experiment with different jobs that strike your fancy. **

But on the flip side I don’t want to be some blue collar slob that no one respects working some job that a robot could eventually do.

Eh, cut the snobbery and learn to respect the dignity of labor. Talk to your priest and St. Joseph about this. There’s no reason to look down on an honest wage for an honest day’s work.

Women don’t like guys like that and being more of a thinking man, I feel like i’d be wasting my mind, but it would be easier and maybe Iwouldn’t complain as much since my body would be so tired I wouldn’t have energy to say anything at all.

**Counseling?
**

So does anyone have any suggestions? I feel like such a freak and a terrible Catholic for not being more happy. I sometimes wish I just had no emotions and was like god’s robot or something and just didn’t care about any of this other **** or that I could just go out to the woods or the desert and just chill with God and not have any stress (definitely not feasible in this world)

 

[Xantippe]

You’ll also get better at these things over time. It’s normal for a job to seem really, really hard and confusing at first, even if it’s something you have a natural knack for. The environment is new, the boss is new, the kids are new, the lessons are new. Over time, especially if you tend to teach the same courses year to year, the new school year will get easier to adjust to. It’s completely, 100% normal and okay that it is not going perfectly from the very beginning, and it’s not a sign that you are not or will never be a good teacher.

That’s true about new routines being daunting. I once had a schedule where I was teaching a class at a girl’s college, shelving books at the library, and then teaching an adult ESL course in the afternoon, and at the beginning, my brain was fried just from all the stress. I got used to it, though, and sometimes I even threw on a fourth job, all in the course of a single day.

 

[1ke]

Okay to respond to this, first of all i’m sorry if I offended with the term "blue collar slob’ but I guess by this I mean guys who don’t have any ounce of ambition what so ever and do some low level job that doesn’t require any sort of smarts. I am the son of a farmer turned factory worker myself who actually had a measure of responsibility and such in both of his jobs. I don’t consider guys who go to school to weld or drive truck as slobs. I’m talking about people who work jobs like flipping burgers or bagging groceries. Stuff that HS students could do.

That’s good to know.

Also you mentioned how you are a senior level whatever. God for you, you probably had skills to help you. Anybody with half a brain knows that skills are more important than some fancy degree. Why do you think we have English majors working as coffee slingers at starbucks or Sociology majors working at target? I know some can and will get lucky but i’m sure you had skills in the business world. I don’t. therefore I have few options with a teaching degree if I leave.

There you go again, putting yourself down.

First of all, I did not have any skills in the business world. I taught high school.

After I left teaching, I moved into training and development. I started at the bottom. My point was that there is a whole field of corporate training and development and many people in that field began in education. I have hired a number of English and Liberal Arts majors. Training and development is a wide open field for those with education backgrounds who have decided that K12 is not for them who also have confidence and the ability to work hard and learn new things.

Also you mentioned how bright I seem because of the degree and all that. Honestly it doesn’t take much work to get a teaching degree. I know folks in my classes who spent all their free time smoking ,dope and going to bars and got teaching jobs quicker than I did (granted i’m in a more saturated field and they were not, so it wasn’t a matter of me being a jerk which kept me from a job) and some studies say education is the easiest degree to get. So maybe i’m not all that bright.I’d like to think i am but what does it matter what I think?

Self defeating attitudes get you nowhere.

I was also told that I had trouble with consistency and all that jazz but no one ever taught us that too well in college.

So you already know classroom management is a weak area for you. Get a mentor teacher. Get your principal to coach you. Take a class through your regional education center. Buy a book. Watch You Tube. Whatever it takes.

I guess I wonder if i’m even good at anything or if I should just go be stuck in some minimum wage job where I don’t get any respect and doesn’t have anything stimulating.

Really? So that’s it? Teaching OR dead end job. Nothing in between? Seeing the world through such eyes will be a self-fulfilled prophecy.

The problem isn’t your job, it’s your attitude towards the world.

I just want to be normal and not sad or angry anymore. That’s the other thing too. I have no way to share my frustrations. If something goes wrong I can’t go yell at the kids or tell the teacher i’m struggling. I feel like it’s just smile and keep it inside until I finally get home and then let loose.

This is a sign that you need to continue counseling. Find something through Catholic Charities that is on a sliding scale, use any EAP and medical insurance benefits that you can.

I just sometimes wish I had none of these problems.

EVERYONE has problems. You think yours are unique, or bigger than others, but they are not.

Perhaps teaching is not for you. that does NOT mean you are doomed to a life of burger-flipping. There are many things you can do. I suggest contacting your college alumni center for some counseling as well, career counseling.

Honestly if it wasn’t for God and the fact suicide sends you straight to hell, i’d consider it. But then of course I have debt and that would go to my family

This is definitely a sign you need professional help.

 

[Xantippe]

WildCatholic said:

“So maybe i’m not all that bright.I’d like to think i am but what does it matter what I think?”

**It does, because your students are reading you like a book.
**
“It was all content which was great but classroom management just seemed hard to me once I got in the real world because we didn’t have a class like that in school.”

**Well, they should have talked more about classroom management, but part of the reason for not doing it is that the class itself would be worthless without a live classroom of kids to work with. **

“It was like I was expected to be super teacher and when I wasn’t I was criticized and told by my Cooperating teacher that I lost his “good class” and that i’d have trouble even if I taught at some upper class private school.”

**Did he or she tell you what to do instead?

Your problems may be 50%-100% just that the kids can see that you are terrified of them. **

“I guess this makes me feel like I just don’t got it.”

**You don’t have it now, but no 1st year teacher has it now. That’s why all those stupid hero teacher movies are harmful–they lead people like yourself to believe that if they are just awesome enough, miracles are going to happen right away. You have to work years to get miracles.

You are beginning your career right now. Your schooling gave you maybe 15-20% of what you need to know to be a teacher (maybe even less). Now is the time to learn the other 85-90%
**

“And yes i’ve done counseling. It helped but i don’t have the funds for it and honestly why should I spend my whole life spent between a classroom and a doctor’s office? I just want to be normal and not sad or angry anymore.”

**You have psychological problems. You need to treat yourself or you will never manage to hold down a professional job. Treat this as seriously as you would if you had a gunshot wound.
**

That’s the other thing too. I have no way to share my frustrations. If something goes wrong I can’t go yell at the kids or tell the teacher i’m struggling. I feel like it’s just smile and keep it inside until I finally get home and then let loose.

Ask for a mentor.

 

[mebcb]

How times change. When was 17 I had a “boy teacher.” He was just barely twenty, graduated from college, married and had a child. We respected him. He came to class with an easy attitude and didn’t get ruffled. I figured that he must have started collage around the age of 16 or 17. To this day I remember his name.

I don’t think that it is that you may be a poor teacher, but the parents may be poor teachers because respect and manners start in the home. Give your self more time and the students more time, also. After all, the school year has just started and there is a learning curve for students AND teachers. I wish I had really good advise for you other than saying hang in there and that I will pray for you, but this is the best that that I have to offer. Remember the “St. Francis Prayer for Peace”? Somewhere I have it around the house, but I can not recite for you. “Lord, let me change the things I can and accept the things I can’t…Let me be an instrument of Peace” is the best I can remember off the top of my head.

 

[WildCatholic]

**You have psychological problems. You need to treat yourself or you will never manage to hold down a professional job. Treat this as seriously as you would if you had a gunshot wound.
**

Maybe I can’t have a professional job. It happens to some people. My own brother is on the Autism spectrum and even though to the world he appears to be normal when he’s out doing something like going to the movies, he just wasn’t blessed with the correct wiring in his brain to hold down a job and has to live on welfare payments. Maybe that’s what my destiny. Honestly maybe God just doesn’t want me to have a great life on earth and suffer like the Saints because heaven will be so awesome. Oh and thanks for saying i have problems. Thats just what a person needs to here. All my life people seem to think i’m weird or messed up or different. Kids bullied me, teachers said I was smart but couldn’t control myself, and overall I just have always felt strange. I’m sorry if this sounds like i’m biting your head off but it seems like everyone else already thinks i’m messed up. Even a former hs principal who found out I was a teacher told my mother that “well I hope he’s developed some strengths”

Also what’s the big deal about all this negative talk? It’s true. I’m not that great of a teacher and if you aren’t you get fired just like if a starting NFL quarterback threw more interceptions than touchdowns he’d be fired. It’s a fact of life. You screw up too much and it’s on the street. No one wants a doctor who doesn’t know how to treat you.

I’ll admit my big problem too is confidence. To me confidence equals being a jerk and picking .on weak people and I was brought up that everyone deserves respect no matter what because we are all human. No offense isn’t this what God wants us to do?

 

[Xantippe]

I don’t know if I could be a success in the K-12 classroom, but before having kids I did have a fair amount of success teaching adults. It’s not lucrative, of course, but they are often much more motivated.

I also think that being a parent now means that I would come back to the classroom with a lot of insights into child management that I did not have as a 20-something single gal.

Some more thoughts:

1. Watch what you tell kids. Filter, filter, filter.
2. Keep them busy. When doing a lesson plan, think about what they will be doing, more than what you will be doing, because you need to keep them moving and occupied.
3. Positive reinforcement (the books I recommended upthread are very good)
4. As you gain experience, you can start building a classroom persona and a repertoire of on-topic jokes that will be memorable and will teach while entertaining. My daughter has had a couple of very funny Latin (!) teachers. There’s a Latin joke in the 5th grade classroom that says very ungrammatically (if you know your Latin) semper ubi sub ubi (always wear underwear). It cracks the kids (and me) up, but it’s also educational. I wouldn’t make that my goal for the 1st year, but you should be working on producing a classroom persona of being funny, kind, smart and unflappable.
5. There are undoubtedly some education forums online, if the mentor thing doesn’t work out for you at your school. Actually, I’d do both if I could. Come to think of it, there are probably some theology-specific forums–that subject may have particular problems if students don’t take it seriously or it hasn’t been taught seriously.
6. Choose your battles. It’s a platitude, but very important. Figure out what to fight your students on, and choose very carefully. You can’t fight them on everything all the time. Also, don’t just be reacting.

Best wishes!

 

[Xantippe]

Honestly maybe God just doesn’t want me to have a great life on earth and suffer like the Saints because heaven will be so awesome.

**Presumably, God wants you to learn to serve others to your maximum potential. **

Also what’s the big deal about all this negative talk? It’s true. I’m not that great of a teacher and if you aren’t you get fired just like if a starting NFL quarterback threw more interceptions than touchdowns he’d be fired. It’s a fact of life. You screw up too much and it’s on the street. No one wants a doctor who doesn’t know how to treat you.

**Eh, you’re forgetting that a first year teacher is more like a resident. You are still in school.
**
I’ll admit my big problem too is confidence. To me confidence equals being a jerk and picking .on weak people and I was brought up that everyone deserves respect no matter what because we are all human. No offense isn’t this what God wants us to do?

Nope. There is good confidence. Work with a therapist.

 

[WildCatholic]

I don’t know if I could be a success in the K-12 classroom, but before having kids I did have a fair amount of success teaching adults. It’s not lucrative, of course, but they are often much more motivated.

I also think that being a parent now means that I would come back to the classroom with a lot of insights into child management that I did not have as a 20-something single gal.

Some more thoughts:

1. Watch what you tell kids. Filter, filter, filter.
2. Keep them busy. When doing a lesson plan, think about what they will be doing, more than what you will be doing, because you need to keep them moving and occupied.
3. Positive reinforcement (the books I recommended upthread are very good)
4. As you gain experience, you can start building a classroom persona and a repertoire of on-topic jokes that will be memorable and will teach while entertaining. My daughter has had a couple of very funny Latin (!) teachers. There’s a Latin joke in the 5th grade classroom that says very ungrammatically (if you know your Latin) semper ubi sub ubi (always wear underwear). It cracks the kids (and me) up, but it’s also educational. I wouldn’t make that my goal for the 1st year, but you should be working on producing a classroom persona of being funny, kind, smart and unflappable.
5. There are undoubtedly some education forums online, if the mentor thing doesn’t work out for you at your school. Actually, I’d do both if I could. Come to think of it, there are probably some theology-specific forums–that subject may have particular problems if students don’t take it seriously or it hasn’t been taught seriously.
6. Choose your battles. It’s a platitude, but very important. Figure out what to fight your students on, and choose very carefully. You can’t fight them on everything all the time. Also, don’t just be reacting.

Best wishes!

So okay number 1. What’s wrong with being self deprecating. Its not like I say “Oh i’m a terrible teacher” but its just part of my personality. I’m not one to be the center of attention but I just want to be a supporting character. Like if I where to be involved in politics I wouldn’t be president but i’d advise the president or help him to get things done. Like I said I’m humble and don’t really believe in being a cocky SOB

2- This is a no brainer The tough part is I teach a class from scratch where I basically have to come up with everything on my own. It is literally like reconstructing the wheel. Honestly my social studies and civics courses are easier because I can find stuff to do.

1. What is positive reinforcement (srs)
2. I find it hard to be unflappable after a certain time. I’ve always been a reactor. I remember one of the worst things I did in HS was after being called gay by my bullies i said i’d kill them and I didn’t want to hurt them but wanted it to stop. Of couse I know not to do this but what can I do when kids don’t respect me. Sometimes I wish I was in the old days where teachers could slap or beat kids and not get in trouble (not that i’m sadistic, but sometimes when kids are brats i think its okay if it gets them to stop. Granted i’d only use it sparingly)

5-6 I already look through forums and I already mentioned my thing with reacting. Its like its my natural setting and I hate it and don’t understand why I act like that its not like i grew up in an abusive home by any stretch of the imagination.I had good. parents so why did i turn out messed up ?

 

[1ke]

Maybe I can’t have a professional job. It happens to some people.

I am not sure why you see everything in such extreme terms. Something to explore with your therapist.

My own brother is on the Autism spectrum and even though to the world he appears to be normal when he’s out doing something like going to the movies, he just wasn’t blessed with the correct wiring in his brain to hold down a job and has to live on welfare payments.

All my life people seem to think i’m weird or messed up or different. Kids bullied me, teachers said I was smart but couldn’t control myself, and overall I just have always felt strange.

I am sorry that he is unable to have employment. Have you talked to your counselor about the possibility that you are on the autism spectrum yourself? You have some very black and white views of things and seem to have an overly negative view of yourself and the world.

There are many people on the autism spectrum who have found success in the world, meaningful employment, and happy lives.

Also what’s the big deal about all this negative talk? It’s true.

It is a big deal. It is not normal to be so down on yourself, the world, and everything in it. Depression could be at the root of it, or some other untreated illness. You need to get to the bottom of what is causing such negative attitudes and thinking.

I’ll admit my big problem too is confidence. To me confidence equals being a jerk and picking .on weak people and I was brought up that everyone deserves respect no matter what because we are all human. No offense isn’t this what God wants us to do?

That is a distorted view of what confidence is.

 

[runningdude]

Teaching is a tough job. I have been working as a substitute teacher on and off for four years to support myself while in grad school.

I concur with the recommendation to start working with a professional therapist, who will be able to better guide you through identifying and working through the personal issues you are experiencing. People on the internet, unfortunately, cannot provide this kind of support. I would also recommend speaking with your mentor teacher, if you have one, or asking advice from some of the experienced teachers at your school to help with the discipline issue.

As an aside, no college degree, except for some technical degrees, truly prepares an individual for any specific position. A college education is meant to develop critical thinking skills, so that once in a career path, the individual has better tools to learn how to perform the job. Every position requires “on the job” training, including teaching.

Should teaching not work out for you, this is not something to be ashamed of. Many individuals leave education after only a few years because the position was a poor fit. Your bachelor’s degree, and even your work experience as a teacher, would help you find employment in another field if you determine this to be best for you. This is an area I would encourage you to explore with a therapist, who might also be able to refer you career specific counselors.

What is important is to explore what is troubling you, and explore options for managing these troubles with professional guidance.

 

[Xantippe]

So okay number 1. What’s wrong with being self deprecating.

**Impress people with your awesomeness and then be self-deprecating.

Do you honestly think that being self-deprecating brings out the best in junior high in high school students? Nope, nope, nope.**

Its not like I say “Oh i’m a terrible teacher” but its just part of my personality. I’m not one to be the center of attention but I just want to be a supporting character. Like if I where to be involved in politics I wouldn’t be president but i’d advise the president or help him to get things done. Like I said I’m humble and don’t really believe in being a cocky SOB

**Thinking about yourself all the time and running yourself down isn’t actually humble. It’s actually very self-centered. Talk to your priest and your therapist about this. **

2- This is a no brainer The tough part is I teach a class from scratch where I basically have to come up with everything on my own. It is literally like reconstructing the wheel. Honestly my social studies and civics courses are easier because I can find stuff to do.

The from-scratch is a a problem–scour the internet and steal successful ideas so you don’t have to inflict too much unnecessary failure on your kids. While you’re inventing the wheel, they’re twiddling their thumbs.

**Trust me, this was one of my big screw ups as a Peace Corps volunteer. We’d had it drummed into us that the local textbooks and methodology were no good and that we could just walk in and make stuff up and be awesome. Well, that was not the case. We nearly all suffered terribly in my Peace Corps group from first year teaching whiplash (probably all except for the people with American teaching experience, and I think even they had their struggles).

Looking back, what I needed to do was make the investment and buy the really good textbook (one copy per desk) and work out of it. But that’s me looking back nearly 20 years later and realizing how badly I screwed up trying to make up stuff on my own. **

1. What is positive reinforcement (srs)

**Dude, read the books (Transforming the Difficult Child, Don’t Shoot the Dog, maybe this one:

amazon.com/Notching-Nurtured-Heart-Approach-Initiative/dp/0982671423/ref=la_B001K93GYM_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1410134756&sr=1-3**

This is probably your education programs biggest failure, if you don’t know what positive reinforcement is. Successful education is all about positive reinforcement.

Here are some blog posts:

xantippesblog.blogspot.com/2009/08/entre-les-murs-ii.html

kitchentablemath.blogspot.com/2009/07/entre-les-murs.html

The first one is one of my blog reviews on the French movie Entre les murs, which is about a French teacher failing his students. The second one is by an email buddy of mine who has a very influential parent-written education blog.

1. I find it hard to be unflappable after a certain time. I’ve always been a reactor. I remember one of the worst things I did in HS was after being called gay by my bullies i said i’d kill them and I didn’t want to hurt them but wanted it to stop. Of couse I know not to do this but what can I do when kids don’t respect me. Sometimes I wish I was in the old days where teachers could slap or beat kids and not get in trouble (not that i’m sadistic, but sometimes when kids are brats i think its okay if it gets them to stop. Granted i’d only use it sparingly.

**You don’t need to be totally unreactive, but you need to react only when you choose to react. You need total control over the face that you present to your students.

And even if you wind up not teaching, if you have a wife and kids, you will also need lots of self-control with regard to what you do and don’t react to.
**

5-6 I already look through forums and I already mentioned my thing with reacting. Its like its my natural setting and I hate it and don’t understand why I act like that its not like i grew up in an abusive home by any stretch of the imagination.I had good. parents so why did i turn out messed up ?

A lot of stuff is hereditary. You have an autistic brother. Stands to reason that you yourself have some autistic traits, too, and will need to retrain yourself. (I have a high-functioning autistic 12-year-old daughter.) As you know, it’s not all bad having autistic traits.

By the way, nearly half of new teachers drop out of teaching within five years, and the overall turnover rate for all teachers is about 17% and higher in tougher locations.

forbes.com/sites/erikkain/2011/03/08/high-teacher-turnover-rates-are-a-big-problem-for-americas-public-schools/

It’s definitely not just you.

Good luck!

 

[WildCatholic]

A lot of stuff is hereditary. You have an autistic brother. Stands to reason that you yourself have some autistic traits, too, and will need to retrain yourself. (I have a high-functioning autistic 12-year-old daughter.) As you know, it’s not all bad having autistic traits.

By the way, nearly half of new teachers drop out of teaching within five years, and the overall turnover rate for all teachers is about 17% and higher in tougher locations.

forbes.com/sites/erikkain/2011/03/08/high-teacher-turnover-rates-are-a-big-problem-for-americas-public-schools/

It’s definitely not just you.

Good luck!

I know it is not just me but ever since I’ve been about 12 i’ve worried i have autism and for me that’s terrible because most autistics I know even if they are nice are self centered people who don’t have empathy and no offense if I found out I was diagnosed I’d probably cry for hours because it means i’m not normal (I know that there is no definition of normal but to me normal means you have nothing wrong with you mentally or physically, and autism means you have faulty wiring in the brain so therefore I’m not normal and means it will be hard to relate to people which teaching is about, who knows maybe i’d qualify for disability since everyone here thinks i’m autistic and now wants to pity me for it (I hate pity because it dehumanizes people. Even if I do have autism i’m not some poor victim who can’t take care of himself)

 

[Xantippe]

I know it is not just me but ever since I’ve been about 12 i’ve worried i have autism and for me that’s terrible because most autistics I know even if they are nice are self centered people who don’t have empathy and no offense if I found out I was diagnosed I’d probably cry for hours because it means i’m not normal (I know that there is no definition of normal but to me normal means you have nothing wrong with you mentally or physically, and autism means you have faulty wiring in the brain so therefore I’m not normal and means it will be hard to relate to people which teaching is about, who knows maybe i’d qualify for disability since everyone here thinks i’m autistic and now wants to pity me for it (I hate pity because it dehumanizes people. Even if I do have autism i’m not some poor victim who can’t take care of himself)

1. Autism is a spectrum. You can be a little autistic (which a lot of people won’t notice), somewhat autistic (which can be AMAZING–see Temple Grandin) or a lot autistic (which as you know can be very, very difficult for everybody).

(Speaking of which, have you seen the HBO Temple Grandin biopic–it’s amazing. I had my daughter watch it a few years back.)

Autism doesn’t mean “faulty wiring in the brain”–it means different wiring in the brain. It often comes with substantial compensations in other respects, for instance memory and spatial ability.

I suggest picking up a book (for instance Tony Attwood’s Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome) or for instance Deirdre Lovecky’s Different Minds: Gifted Children With AD/HD, Asperger Syndrome, and Other Learning Deficits. The Lovecky book is really tough going, but a very good read for a teacher.

1. One can teach oneself to think empathetically even if one doesn’t feel empathetically, if you understand what I mean. I think I’ve done that. It helps a great deal being female, but I pass pretty darn well, if I do say so myself. If one has enough intelligence and puts in the effort, it can be done.
2. Please do try to stop insulting random groups of people–low end blue collar workers, autistic people, yourself, etc. I think this suggests that your habit of putting yourself down isn’t really harmless, because you don’t just think poorly of yourself–you also think poorly of large groups of people.
3. There is immense variation among human beings and I believe that a lot of what we think of as abnormalities can be simply a case of too much of a good thing.
4. I wonder how many people can honestly say that they have nothing at all wrong with them mentally or physically? I’m not sure I’ve ever met one of those. That would be–dare I say–abnormal.
5. “Even if I do have autism i’m not some poor victim who can’t take care of himself”

Quite right.

Good luck!

 

[WildCatholic]

1. Autism is a spectrum. You can be a little autistic (which a lot of people won’t notice), somewhat autistic (which can be AMAZING–see Temple Grandin) or a lot autistic (which as you know can be very, very difficult for everybody).

(Speaking of which, have you seen the HBO Temple Grandin biopic–it’s amazing. I had my daughter watch it a few years back.)

Autism doesn’t mean “faulty wiring in the brain”–it means different wiring in the brain. It often comes with substantial compensations in other respects, for instance memory and spatial ability.

I suggest picking up a book (for instance Tony Attwood’s Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome) or for instance Deirdre Lovecky’s Different Minds: Gifted Children With AD/HD, Asperger Syndrome, and Other Learning Deficits. The Lovecky book is really tough going, but a very good read for a teacher.

1. One can teach oneself to think empathetically even if one doesn’t feel empathetically, if you understand what I mean. I think I’ve done that. It helps a great deal being female, but I pass pretty darn well, if I do say so myself. If one has enough intelligence and puts in the effort, it can be done.
2. Please do try to stop insulting random groups of people–low end blue collar workers, autistic people, yourself, etc. I think this suggests that your habit of putting yourself down isn’t really harmless, because you don’t just think poorly of yourself–you also think poorly of large groups of people.
3. There is immense variation among human beings and I believe that a lot of what we think of as abnormalities can be simply a case of too much of a good thing.
4. I wonder how many people can honestly say that they have nothing at all wrong with them mentally or physically? I’m not sure I’ve ever met one of those. That would be–dare I say–abnormal.
5. “Even if I do have autism i’m not some poor victim who can’t take care of himself”

Quite right.

Good luck!

Sorry if I am insulting but I don’t mean to be, but I guess I’m echoing what most people I know think of groups of people. For years I had to deal with people calling my brother retarded and I hated it, but you know what, thats sadly the image people have. They think my brother is some rain man type guy when really he just gets really stressed and just doesn’t have the temperament to do a full time job yet. I don’t believe these myself but its what most people think. Most people think blue collar work is for dummies sad but true. Why do you think that for a lot of jobs we have to import people to do the worst jobs. Because people don’t want to do it themselves. I wouldn’t mind it myself but most people would think i’m some lazy dumb person who couldn’t get a real job. I know plenty of blue collar people who are fine upstanding people but a lot of people look down on that type of work, and I know people would look down on me. I guess when it comes down to it I want status in some sense. For example I like intelligent women who are devoutly catholic but no woman is going to be with a guy who makes barely enough to support a family. Life isn’t some disney BS fairytale where every dream comes true. Life is hard and the only thing good about it is that God is there to make things better and get us through and most of the time we don’t have our dreams come true. It may sound negative but its more realistic than believing some fairytale that everything will be okay. I figure I’ll suffer in this life until I’m called home

 

[ClearWater]

Teaching is one hard profession.

Well, my parents have told me that kids in their time had respect for parents and teachers. They have said that it’s all changed, that in our time, there is no respect.

Well, in the past, teachers and parents could even use corporal punishment. The kids were much better behaved. You didn’t have them coming into class and shooting their teachers and classmates.

Those were different times. Kids also used to have a full-time mom, and now they often don’t have that. There are all kinds of influences today, many very negative.

My older sister said even in her time, the TV programs on that day helped. You had “Leave it to Beaver”, “Father Knows Best”, Andy Griffith and I forget all the shows, but they reinforced values. Now, you have programs like Bart Simpson, Rosanne Barr.

My father thought that he saw a change in the 1960s, that when the hippie movement came in, free love, drugs and no respect for parents or authority, it all went down hill after that.

Also, he thought it was very dangerous when the movies began showing villains as if they were heroes. So now, some kids idolize villains, want to emulate them!

My father taught in a very rough school. He said if it hadn’t been for the fact he had already paid for the house, he would have quit. It was just that hard his first semester. I’m from a family of 11, so he said the second semester, he started out stricter, and that stricter is better.

He said it’s possible to be very strict, and with the passage of time, you can become more lenient. However, he said you really can’t come in too lenient and later change to be stricter, that it wouldn’t work. So, start strict.

Try to find out specifically who is causing the problems. Talk to them or their parents. However, it’s key to find who the “instigator” is. If you are mistaken as to who that is, the problems will just continue.

You can separate people who are talking, move seating around, even arrange them in alphabetical order.

The first couple of weeks, you need to get control. If not, they will control the group, and you don’t want them controlling the group. You see where that leads.

Focus more on the first couple of weeks on discipline and order, not letting them get away with anything. That’s more important even than your lesson. Once you get a group that respects you, you can do so much more with them.

You MUST get control of the group. That’s key. It can be a fight, but you must win.

Talk to other teachers with a lot of experience.

Try to keep students very busy and engaged. Let them do a lot of the work.

As to testing, some speculate that kids test adults to see whether they will put their trust in them. If the teacher can keep them in line, then are more likely to give them their respect/trust. Some make you earn their respect or trust.

The first semester is hard on many levels…new kids…new curriculum, new to teaching.
Practice can make one better.

My father had a hard semester, but he was able to recover from it, if that’s any consolation.

I taught a little bit in Mexico. I first taught at an orphanage, cried daily at one point. Although equally, my Spanish was week. I had no degree in education or experience teaching a class. Some of the students had never been in a classroom before, would do things like lie on the floor!

Now, not everybody is cut out to be a teacher, one thing. Some don’t have the personality. If you don’t, you might be happy as a tutor. My older sister wanted to be a teacher, changed her mind when she heard us coming home telling her how badly our classes treated substitute teachers, that kids would walk on the desks and such.

So today, she teaches but not as a teacher. She says she doesn’t feel she could control a class. So, she has been a private tutor and a teacher’s aide.

Some schools are tougher than others.

I have a niece who’s a teacher, and she was miserable. Finally, she switched schools and is now happy as a clam!

Further, if you gave it your best and did decide teaching was just not for you, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. If you don’t teach, there are other things you could do.

I’m not sure what things, but I just believe that. Sometimes, people will have jobs, and they are looking for someone with, say, a bachelor’s degree, and you can learn on the job.

You could go back to one of those career counseling centers and ask what other jobs you can use your teaching degree for. Usually, they provide a list of ideas.

Try to take it easy, not let them see this bothers you. Well, there are some kids who do this for attention and all. If they see it bothers you, they will only do it all the more.

Good luck! God bless!