My new job is making me insane HELP!!!!!

[Xantippe]

I honestly can’t think of anything to say to you because i’ll just end up being negative. Well except I want to know how I can be that way for someone? I literally have no experience with it. I grew up with parents who weren’t very hard on me and I wonder if as a result I turned into an emotional under achiever since whenever I was bullied they comforted where as I should have just been made tough and told to avoid it. Financially i’m okay but emotionally its like i don’t even know how to be strong. Is there is disorder where people can’t grow up emotionally?

I was just talking to my husband about this (I’m an ethnic WASP and he’s “ethnic”), and on reflection, I think that it probably makes a difference if one provides at least as much emotional support as one is asking for. I think where things go wrong is where one spouse is so emotionally needy, so constantly demanding reassurance, so blind to the fact that other people also have emotional needs, that their spouse feels depleted from dealing with them. A smart person would hesitate before marrying somebody like that.

 

[Xantippe]

I’d encourage you to start thinking about the fact that everybody has problems. Every kid sitting in front of you has problems, whether it’s a pimply nose, having to share a room with an uncongenial sibling, fighting about music practice with mom, dealing with dad’s disappointed ambitions for his kids, getting cut from the team, not getting a good part for the play, breaking up with a girlfriend or boyfriend, being fat, being skinny, being a nerd, having a parent with cancer, having parents who are getting a divorce, being humiliated on social media, etc.

Everybody’s hurting some of the time. Their problems might sound small to you (because they aren’t yours), but they’re huge to the people experiencing them.

There’s a quote I like–be kind, because everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

 

[1ke]

but what can I do when kids don’t respect me. Sometimes I wish I was in the old days where teachers could slap or beat kids and not get in trouble (not that i’m sadistic, but sometimes when kids are brats i think its okay if it gets them to stop. Granted i’d only use it sparingly)

If this is what you really believe and you have urges to slap or beat kids, then I would suggest that teaching is definitely NOT your calling.

 

[WildCatholic]

If this is what you really believe and you have urges to slap or beat kids, then I would suggest that teaching is definitely NOT your calling.

Well I think everyone has those urges and they are pretty rare with me. I mean what would you do if some big FB player with a big mouth calls you a stupid SOB and won’t do his homework and won’t respond to any punishment. Now I wouldn’t hit him but you can’t tell me you wouldn’t have that feeling. I’m not some sadistic psycho. I have a heart people and I don’t like hurting people.

 

[WildCatholic]

I’d encourage you to start thinking about the fact that everybody has problems. Every kid sitting in front of you has problems, whether it’s a pimply nose, having to share a room with an uncongenial sibling, fighting about music practice with mom, dealing with dad’s disappointed ambitions for his kids, getting cut from the team, not getting a good part for the play, breaking up with a girlfriend or boyfriend, being fat, being skinny, being a nerd, having a parent with cancer, having parents who are getting a divorce, being humiliated on social media, etc.

Everybody’s hurting some of the time. Their problems might sound small to you (because they aren’t yours), but they’re huge to the people experiencing them.

There’s a quote I like–be kind, because everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

I wish somebody had told the kids who bullied me in school that. I got bullied right as my dad was diagnosed with cancer and everyone knew about it (it was a Catholic school and people prayed for him daily). How sick can a person be to make fun of some insecure weak kid who’s dad is sick by calling me gay slurs? And of course they didn’t have any worries. They just did it for kicks and they didn’t have any worries other than if their mom or dad would buy beer for their parties. Thats why at the time I (wrongly) fought them back. Sure it was wrong but still if I was popular like them I’d protect those who are having a hard time. I hate when people pick on others just because they are weak. I want to be a protector and make sure people don’t just pick on each other. To me that’s cowardice.

 

[St_Francis]

Well I think everyone has those urges and they are pretty rare with me. I mean what would you do if some big FB player with a big mouth calls you a stupid SOB and won’t do his homework and won’t respond to any punishment. Now I wouldn’t hit him but you can’t tell me you wouldn’t have that feeling. I’m not some sadistic psycho. I have a heart people and I don’t like hurting people.

OK, so what are you going to do about the FB player? What does the school think about this? When you give him a bad grade because he doesn’t do his homework, are rhey going to back you up or are they going to pressure you to change the grade so he will remain eligible for football?

This is why despite the fact everyone is busy, you must be in good contact with the school and other teachers.

And what’s it to you if the FB player doesn’t do his homework? Did you give them a syllabus explaining how much of their grade depends on their homework? If he’s willing to take the drop in grade, then why would you bother about it?

It is your job to *teach, *but it is your students’ job to *learn. *You can’t do the learning for them, so focus on teaching.