My Parents and My Vocation

[EvangeliumVitae]

I you can probably see from my profile, I am 17 and have a vocation to the priesthood. I have a common problem–my parents.

Let me break it down for you:

My dad is not Catholic or Christian–he’s nothing. I do not know if he is an aetheist or agnostic. And get this–he’s a cop. What cop isn’t baptized??? His view of the priesthood is what is reported on the news…if you get my drift. He is stubborn when it comes to my faith and will not budge for anything! He has flat out told me that I am not to become a priest.

My mom IS Catholic and does practice, but “moderatley.” She also is not too happy and thinks that celibacy is what led to the sexual abuse.

They do not want me to “throw my life away.”

I don’t know how to make them understand. I have prayed, prayed novenas, and prayed before the blessed sacrament. I need to do something now. As St. Paul said, “Faith and works go together.”

What “works” can I do? Any seminarians out there who can help?

Pax,
Michael

 

[Chronister4673]

Hey, Michael!

Wow, I can see that you are really excited about becoming a priest. If that’s your true vocation, then I wish you the best.

If I were your parent, I might be concerned about your decision. I would support you in your pursuit of the priesthood, but I would advise you not to overlook other paths that God might be setting up for you. Part of that is your age and experience level. Part of it is knowing that a lot of 17 year olds may not be able to see things that other people around them can.

The generic advice I would give you (as a random stranger on the internet talking to someone on the cusp of their future) is to live the holiest life that you can. Get ready for college, which is a prerequisite for being a priest anyway, and try to do so without incurring debt insofar as possible. Debt will shackle your future. Whether you’re destined to be a layman or called to orders, the education will serve you well. Most of what you do during the first year of college is pre-req requirements for any program at all, be it theological studies, prelaw, or premed. You may get to college and determine that God wants you to study something else to help people.

If, after further discernment, you still feel called to be a priest, then GREAT! We need holy priests.

I think your parents are just worried about you. Parents always want their kids to do better than themselves. Being a priest is hard, hard work and they know it. Maybe if they see you’ve applied yourself to furthering your future, they’ll be able to take your feelings about vocation more seriously.

I hope this post helps you.

 

[Carmelite_to_be]

I understand that it’s tough; recently I broke the news to my parents that I want to be a Carmelite nun - I’m leaving to pursue this in January. My family aren’t particularly religious, so it’s more difficult for them to understand.

For me, the fact that I haven’t changed my mind, despite them being upset, shows that God has given me strength to pursue my vocation.

I first felt I wanted to become a nun when I was 11, but I turned away from God for a number of years and now, at 26, my path is clear. It’s certainly possible to know your vocation so young, but a little life experience and education is always good.

I recommend that you choose a spiritual director who can advise you personally about your vocation (e.g. a priest). They can also see if you have signs of a vocation and help you pursue it if you do.

What I would also say is that if God wants you to become a priest, then God will make it possible. He will give you strength to pursue it. It’s not an easy journey, especially as commitment draws nearer - there are many temptations to not go ahead; sparing one’s family of pain is one.

Time is a great healer and sometimes when we are sure of something, others will eventually come round. I’m hoping my family will.

Good luck and keep praying to God for His help. Remember, He loves you very much for your desire to be a priest. As St. Therese of Lisieux said “Keep your eyes on Jesus, for He never takes His eyes off you”. That is the key.

 

[1ke]

He has flat out told me that I am not to become a priest.

Well, guess what? He doesn’t have any say in the matter. As an adult, you choose your vocation and that’s that.

I don’t know how to make them understand.

You may not be able to make them understand. And, that’s OK. You will not be the first child whose choice of vocation made their parents mad. Whether it’s a priest, doctor, soldier, musician, or stay-at-home mom-- there is a parent out there who had other plans for their child.

Remember, when you are an adult you leave your parents. They have NO say in your vocation.

The Catechism has something to say about this situation:

2230 When they become adults, children have the right and duty to choose their profession and state of life. They should assume their new responsibilities within a trusting relationship with their parents, willingly asking and receiving their advice and counsel. Parents should be careful not to exert pressure on their children either in the choice of a profession or in that of a spouse. This necessary restraint does not prevent them - quite the contrary from giving their children judicious advice, particularly when they are planning to start a family.

 

[EvangeliumVitae]

Thank you so much!