My parents don't want me to be a Catholic, what do I do?

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My name is Jeremy. I was raised in an evangelical tradition, but over the past seven years God has been leading me to the Catholic Church. This past week I told my parents about my desire to become a Catholic. I’ve always known that my mother in particular had a fairly strong anti-Catholic bias, but I didn’t realize that they would be so hostile to my intentions. My mother thinks that I am “brainwashed” (her words) and that I am being led astray by Satan. She has also made distressing comments like, “your grandmother will have a heart attack if she finds out about this.”

Needless to say it has been a great struggle to try to explain my desire to become Catholic, and there have been tears and animosity. It’s also compounded by the fact that I still live with my parents; I’m 24 years old and a student in university.

I am very discouraged, but I know that I cannot be a protestant anymore because I’ve been convinced of the truth of the Catholic Church in so many areas that are stumbling blocks for protestants (Mary, purgatory, the Eucharist etc.). I am going to Inquiry this week, and I desperately want to find other Catholics for support. I have one Catholic friend, but my mother does not seem to like the idea of me hanging out with him because she sees him as the one who has influenced me to become a Catholic.

I was wondering if there are any others on this forum who have had experiences like this and if they could share them or point me to other threads where people have talked about conversion experiences that have been difficult with family. I would also appreciate prayers, and also if there are any prayers out there that would be good ones for me to pray.

Also, I wasn’t sure which forum would be the best one to put this thread in, so I hope this one is ok.
 
I don’t have much to say as far as advice but I know how you feel.

My mother had similar sentiments when I became active in my faith and even greater animosity when I told her I wanted to go to the seminary. At this point, I think that she is warming up to the idea. The difference in our situations is that my mother is concerned over my having a happy life. She is not worried that my decision to be a practicing Catholic is going to be detrimental to my soul.

Your conversations are going to be more difficult.

Your big problem comes from the fact that you live under their roof and that they provide for you. You shouldn’t let them feel like you are disrespecting them in any way. In a sense, their house, their rules. I don’t want to discourage your call to the Church but I would advise you to tread lightly until you are on sure footing and can support yourself financially. I’m not saying that you should stop trying to become Catholic but that you should definitely give them time to accept your call to the Church. Read up on the Catholic faith and work hard to understand it in a way that is explainable.

I would recommend for your reading, a short 88 page catechism by Fr. Most.

ewtn.com/library/CATECHSM/MOSTCAT.htm

It’s short enough to read in a few hours and it will give you a good firm footing for any questions. Print it off and let them read it if you’d like.

Don’t get sick of talking about your faith and close your ears to what they are saying. You NEED to keep an open dialog or they will continue to talk about how you’ve been brainwashed.
 
Although my parents response wasn’t the same as yours, I also came from a very anti-catholic family. Like you,I got the call at an early age, I was 22 years, old at the time. In 32 years since my decision, I have second guess many of my life decisions, but I have never second guessed my decision to worship in the church that Christ founded. Through the years my family has adjusted to my faith, and have attended, baptisms, and will attend my oldest son’s wedding in a few months. It won’t always be easy but trust in the lord.
 
I will put you in my prayer intentions 🙂

I am a cradle Catholic so I don’t have a problem with family not wanting me to be Catholic. I do however put up with the seemingly anti-Catholic comments from many other Christians. Never really understood why someone would believe the rubbish they hear without checking it out ( ie Catholics are not Christians, Catholics worship saints and Mary, the pope is the anti-christ, etc). I have never met someone and found out they were Protestant, for instance, and then said hateful things about their beliefs. I think there are just confused people out there with problems. I just shake my head and pray for them.

I have several friends that are converting and they are having hard times from their families and friends so I know it is a hard road to walk. And since you are still at home it is harder for you.

God keep you strong and I will pray for you. Many blessings!
 
A lot of universities have** Newman Center **for Catholics who are in college. Perhaps, while you are at the university, you can find support from Catholics on campus. Something to check into.

In your case, one shouldn’t lie, but I don’t think you have to volunteer information if it’s only going to cause a fight.

Our Father, Who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come.
They will be done on
earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily
bread, and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass
against us, and lead us not into
temptation but deliver us from evil.
Amen :gopray:
 
Develop a deep prayer life,(pray for your parents as well), and read more to learn about how to defend the faith. You may have to wait until you are out of the house.
Remember, the Lord said “you will be hated because of me.”

Do be patient with them.
 
Joahob said:
My name is Jeremy. I was raised in an evangelical tradition, but over the past seven years God has been leading me to the Catholic Church. This past week I told my parents about my desire to become a Catholic. I’ve always known that my mother in particular had a fairly strong anti-Catholic bias, but I didn’t realize that they would be so hostile to my intentions. My mother thinks that I am “brainwashed” (her words) and that I am being led astray by Satan. She has also made distressing comments like, “your grandmother will have a heart attack if she finds out about this.”

Needless to say it has been a great struggle to try to explain my desire to become Catholic, and there have been tears and animosity. It’s also compounded by the fact that I still live with my parents; I’m 24 years old and a student in university.

I am very discouraged, but I know that I cannot be a protestant anymore because I’ve been convinced of the truth of the Catholic Church in so many areas that are stumbling blocks for protestants (Mary, purgatory, the Eucharist etc.). I am going to Inquiry this week, and I desperately want to find other Catholics for support. I have one Catholic friend, but my mother does not seem to like the idea of me hanging out with him because she sees him as the one who has influenced me to become a Catholic.

I was wondering if there are any others on this forum who have had experiences like this and if they could share them or point me to other threads where people have talked about conversion experiences that have been difficult with family. I would also appreciate prayers, and also if there are any prayers out there that would be good ones for me to pray.

Also, I wasn’t sure which forum would be the best one to put this thread in, so I hope this one is ok.
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Become Catholic anyway 🙂 There is an enormous amount of support that can be found within the Church if you seek it out. The more hurtful it may become, the deeper you can fold yourself into Her arms. You will find God & his saints to be an inexhaustible resource to turn to.

God bless you. We all love you and are praying for you :crossrc:
 
As a convert, I also found objections among family and especially co-workers. You are listening to God, your efforts have to be for your own soul not someone else’s likes or dislikes. Tell family the truth - this is where you believe God is leading you. Be prepared for trial, but remember that there are just so many of us who have gone through the same as you and we are here for you. PS Ask your family to watch Coming Home on EWTN. Make sure you give them the time and channel. When they say that they don’t want to hear that Catholic stuff just say that you want them to tell you what they object to.
 
Get into the RCIA program. Most Catholic Churches should have one starting up. Don’t lie to your parents, but at your age you don’t have to tell them everything you are doing. If they see a change in you, simply say that you are drawing closer to God, which would be the truth. You didn’t say when you are gaduating, but hopefully that’s in the near future. Once you’re on your own, they can’t dictate such things to you. Become a Catholic,and if they have a problem with it, then it’s their problem, not yours. Be respectful, but firm. You are of legal age, so don’t let that stop you.

Remember, O most lovng virgin Mary, that never wa it known that anyone who fled to your protection, impord your help, or sought your intercession was left unaided. Inspired by this confidence, we fly unto you, O virgin f virgins, our mother. To you we come, before you we stand, sinful and sorrowfu. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not our petition, but in your mercy hear and aswe me.
 
Hi Jeremy, welcome to the Forums. Please know that your story is very common among Catholics. You are not alone, especially in your search for the truth about God. I believe that when the Lord leads us home to the Catholic Church, that our enemy will do anything to lead us away. Satan HATES the Catholic Church because through it, we receive God’s grace so plentifully. So, do not be surprised that the enemy is using anyone (especially those who he has already lied to about the Church) to get to you. To be blunt, one of the first prayers of your day should be the prayer of St. Michael. I second the advice to develop a deep prayer life, if you haven’t already.

You said you were going to make an Inquiry… I’m not sure what that is. Are you inquiring about joining an RCIA class? That is the next step for you if you want to come into the Church. RCIA will provide you with the fundamentals of the faith, but many RCIA classes fall short on teaching so be prepared to do your own study–not only for your own knowledge, but for the purpose of defending your faith against attacks of non-Catholics.

While we are expected to honor our parents, we are not expected to let them imprison us or isolate us from the Body of Christ. You may not be able to bring your friend to your home, because you share it with your parents. Respect that rule if they lay it down. However, you cannot be expected to let your parents pick your friends for you at age 24. Since you are a college student, you have a place to go to meet up with your friend and I recommend it. Surround yourself with supportive people and please consider us among those who support you.

Here is a website designed to answer common evangelical objections. I have about a thousand more helpful sites bookmarked;). I would set some firm ground rules with your parents as far as discussing the faith. Don’t let them bombard you with 100 things at one time. If you want to discuss something, take it one step at a time. If your parents or grandma stumps you with a Scripture that seems to disprove a Catholic teaching, bring it here, and we can help. I assure you, the Bible cannot be effectively used against the Catholic Church. In fact, I find it quite ironic when evangelicals try to use our letters against us (Yes, the New Testament is a collection of Gospels and letters written to the infant Church. And the evidence of the Church is all over the NT, especially in the Acts of the Apostles). Still, be charitable in all your discussions with your family. You may be who God uses to bring them home so that they may receive the grace of the Sacraments. Let us know how we can help and we will all do our best, but remember we are all lay people who can make mistakes, so go to the Catechism and the Vatican website to look at official Church teachings.

We will be praying for you!
 
Simple solution - tell them you will quit school, move out, and join the circus. Or, join in with a band of gypsies or heavy metal groupies. After you’ve told your parents you’re doing this, let them know you were kidding, but that there are worse things than you becoming Catholic. 😛

Ok, I’m kidding on the above suggestion, but I would let you know that living with parents who don’t support your choice of religion can be very frustrating (and my parents were catholic… but in name only and very non-practicing… which made them hostile to my active faith life). Know your faith so if they challenge you on something you have a ready response, but don’t push it in their faces. Be patient with them too, because they need time to see as well - it sounds like they have lots of walls built up that need to be taken down. Right now, I think they are knee-jerking their reaction. In time, as they see you are serious, the discussion will swing from ‘your grandmother will have a heart attack’ to ‘why are you really considering this’. Once they come to that point and the emotions have settled a bit, you’ll be able to have a rational conversation about it. But, at least for the very short term, it’s all emotion on their end, and all you can do is ride it out with patience and love.
 
Thank you all for your responses and support. I have appreciated reading each one.

I am going to Inquiry at my local parish in a couple days, and will begin RCIA after that, so I will update this thread as that progresses.

In terms of conversation with my parents, I want to focus on explaining that Catholics are Christians too. My mother in particular seems to have a notion that Catholics aren’t Christians, and she sees my Catholic beliefs as my turning away from God, which of course is completely the opposite of what I’m doing. But otherwise, I do want to take the advice of some posters here and not try to argue bitterly about theological points.
 
Joahob said:
In terms of conversation with my parents, I want to focus on explaining that Catholics are Christians too. My mother in particular seems to have a notion that Catholics aren’t Christians, and she sees my Catholic beliefs as my turning away from God, which of course is completely the opposite of what I’m doing. But otherwise, I do want to take the advice of some posters here and not try to argue bitterly about theological points.
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Don’t argue bitterly but always explain what the church teaches. Even if your mother doesn’t listen: explain anyway. Hopefully she will realise eventually that she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Even if it doesn’t go any further, this understanding is better than nothing.

Good luck and God bless.
 
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