My parish priest accepts these atrocious practices...What do I do?!?

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callmeChris

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My Parish is a small parish located in Keyport NJ. We only have ONE priest presiding at the parish. Despite me being a traditionalists (NOTE: I AM NOT A SEDEVACANTIST OR OF THE SSPX. I AM JUST A NORMAL EVERYDAY CATHOLIC) I attend the Novus Ordo. I believe the Mass is getting way too secular to the point where I feel like walking up to the priest and say: “ENOUGH OF THIS! Do you not see that Jesus and Mary of crying?!?”:confused:

Now what is he doing that is unacceptable? We have girls that come in with mini shirts and tank tops, we have people that talk, before and AFTER the Mass, people leave the Church before the priest has the change to give the final blessing. and leave the altar. I mean I feel like my parish derides the sacred writings of Saint Paul!

What do I do and say? Give me your opinion on what you think.
 
Chris,

how do you know the priest approves of all this? I’m sure he also doesn’t agree with the way people dress in the parish, or how they talk in the church, but maybe he just hasn’t addressed it for whatever reason.

I agree those things are bad, but it’s not necessarily the priest’s fault…
 
callmeChris said:
My Parish is a small parish located in Keyport NJ. We only have ONE priest presiding at the parish. Despite me being a traditionalists (NOTE: I AM NOT A SEDEVACANTIST OR OF THE SSPX. I AM JUST A NORMAL EVERYDAY CATHOLIC) I attend the Novus Ordo. I believe the Mass is getting way too secular to the point where I feel like walking up to the priest and say: “ENOUGH OF THIS! Do you not see that Jesus and Mary of crying?!?”:confused:

Now what is he doing that is unacceptable? We have girls that come in with mini shirts and tank tops, we have people that talk, before and AFTER the Mass, people leave the Church before the priest has the change to give the final blessing. and leave the altar. I mean I feel like my parish derides the sacred writings of Saint Paul!

What do I do and say? Give me your opinion on what you think.
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Approach the priest and charitably state your concerns, if his response is not to your satisfaction, find a parish member with the same observation and approach the priest together and charitably state your concerns, if his response is still not to your satisfaction, find a third parish member and charitably approach the Bishop, personally or in writing, or both. If the Bishop’s response is not to the satisfaction of all of you, write the Pope. A lot of work, but if your serious, there you go. Note the charitable approach…maintain the attitude of charity.
 
Dear fellow in Christ,
after reading your post and meditating about my personal opinion, here, it comes. Didn’t Jesus accept the prostitute or the thief? why wouldn’t you accept those young girls that at least are willing to come and listen to the gospel instead of just wasting time about their own spiritual growth? you should welcome them, even the ones that leave the mass before it ends. We need our parishioners in order to keep our churches and our priests, specially during these difficult times for the church. Remember, the church is a place that welcomes everybody, good catholics, sinners, thieves, murderers, etc. The youth will grow older and they will learn to keep a discreet attire for going to the church. Feel happy that other people go, even if they are not perfect. Do not get bother by what other people do, just be there in holy communion with our Lord, that is the reason why we go to church. These are small things, but the most important is what does those people have in their hearts. Welcome them and be gracious, so that they get more involved in your church and they will start learning to show respect to our holy place. Just imagine, if we become so demanding of those small things, do you believe people will feel encourage to come? 😉
 
write him the homoly for a few masses, tell him to use what you have presented and elaborate upon the points y ou are making here, see what happens from there.
 
callmeChris said:
My Parish is a small parish located in Keyport NJ. We only have ONE priest presiding at the parish. Despite me being a traditionalists (NOTE: I AM NOT A SEDEVACANTIST OR OF THE SSPX. I AM JUST A NORMAL EVERYDAY CATHOLIC) I attend the Novus Ordo. I believe the Mass is getting way too secular to the point where I feel like walking up to the priest and say: “ENOUGH OF THIS! Do you not see that Jesus and Mary of crying?!?”:confused:

Now what is he doing that is unacceptable? We have girls that come in with mini shirts and tank tops, we have people that talk, before and AFTER the Mass, people leave the Church before the priest has the change to give the final blessing. and leave the altar. I mean I feel like my parish derides the sacred writings of Saint Paul!

What do I do and say? Give me your opinion on what you think.
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What I see here from your writing is people who are being disrespectful. Nothing you have written suggests that your priest has doen anything wrong.

I do agree that the typical lay catholic is in dire need of a wake up call, so as others have suggested go and speak with him about your concersn and see what he thinks.

Also - pray hard for both your pastor and also for your lax fellow catholics.

Peace
James
 
I’m unfortunately in the same boat as you.

I recommend that you bring your 1962 missal to Mass, pray out of it and try as best as you can to ignore the nonsense going on around you (including the ‘sign of peace’).
 
lelhajj said:
Dear fellow in Christ,
after reading your post and meditating about my personal opinion, here, it comes. Didn’t Jesus accept the prostitute or the thief? why wouldn’t you accept those young girls that at least are willing to come and listen to the gospel instead of just wasting time about their own spiritual growth? you should welcome them, even the ones that leave the mass before it ends. We need our parishioners in order to keep our churches and our priests, specially during these difficult times for the church. Remember, the church is a place that welcomes everybody, good catholics, sinners, thieves, murderers, etc. The youth will grow older and they will learn to keep a discreet attire for going to the church. Feel happy that other people go, even if they are not perfect. Do not get bother by what other people do, just be there in holy communion with our Lord, that is the reason why we go to church. These are small things, but the most important is what does those people have in their hearts. Welcome them and be gracious, so that they get more involved in your church and they will start learning to show respect to our holy place. Just imagine, if we become so demanding of those small things, do you believe people will feel encourage to come? 😉
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What a very charitable approach to a problem I see in my own parish. Thank you for sharing your prayerful insight. It’s full of the love of Christ. 🙂
 
ncstevem said:
I’m unfortunately in the same boat as you.

I recommend that you bring your 1962 missal to Mass, pray out of it and try as best as you can to ignore the nonsense going on around you (including the ‘sign of peace’).
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I don’t recommend this as it will only isolate the OP more.
Participate in the OF as written. If there are abuses, in the mass then address them with the pastor and, if necessary, the Bishop.

If you really would like to have the EF, then ask your pastor to offer it or to recommend where you might find one locally.

Peace
James
 
I agree with Call Me Chris. I believe it is up to the priest. He’s the one in charge. He can either say something from the pulpit or in the Chruch’s bulletin. He may get his point across with humor by alluding to the fact that all know where the Catholic Church is because the parishoners are the first ones out of the parking lot even before many have exited the building.

Or remark that he’d like all to sing the last hymn as it gives time for the parking space angels to get to the cars. Too often the owners have skeddadled so quickly out of Church, the angels have had to walk home. Not a pleasant sight.

Proper attire: Just spent the last week helping my Protestant friend find appropriate casual attire for her trip to Italy. I’ve never been, but according to her, she will not be allowed into the Churches unless her arms are covered. Also bought a wrap skirt to go over her capris less she offend.

I don’t see Protestants or Jews attending their services in jeans. They seem to make the effort.
 
lelhajj said:
Dear fellow in Christ,
after reading your post and meditating about my personal opinion, here, it comes. Didn’t Jesus accept the prostitute or the thief? why wouldn’t you accept those young girls that at least are willing to come and listen to the gospel instead of just wasting time about their own spiritual growth? you should welcome them, even the ones that leave the mass before it ends. We need our parishioners in order to keep our churches and our priests, specially during these difficult times for the church. Remember, the church is a place that welcomes everybody, good catholics, sinners, thieves, murderers, etc. The youth will grow older and they will learn to keep a discreet attire for going to the church. Feel happy that other people go, even if they are not perfect. Do not get bother by what other people do, just be there in holy communion with our Lord, that is the reason why we go to church. These are small things, but the most important is what does those people have in their hearts. Welcome them and be gracious, so that they get more involved in your church and they will start learning to show respect to our holy place. Just imagine, if we become so demanding of those small things, do you believe people will feel encourage to come? 😉
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Ah yes, the “Jesus loves everybody in their sins” gospel. Unfortunately, you are worshipping a Jesus of your own making. Jesus preached repentance - turning away from sin and toward God. Jesus forgave the thief on the cross - after the thief renounced his sins and asked for forgiveness. Do you think Mary Magdalene was still a prostitute when she was following Jesus? No - she renounced her sinful lifestyle.

People coming in to Church and disrespecting Jesus truly present in the Eucharist is an outrage. People are showing what is in their hearts by the way they are acting. If they are idly chatting, dressing inappropriately, arriving or leaving whenever they feel like it - they are showing that they either don’t believe that Jesus is truly present in the Eucharist, or that they do believe He is truly present but that He doesn’t deserve respect or even common courtesy.
 
Is it me, or has anyone noticed that a skirt is only too short when it is on someone else? A top is too low cut when it is on someone else?

Personally, I try not to worry about what someone else is wearing to Mass. Some people have to leave for work right after mass. Some may have just come from work. Some may not be able to afford the type of clothing someone else thinks is appropriate. I know of a family (inlaws of inlaws) that don’t attend our parish because they feel we dress up too much, and they can’t afford to “keep up”.

I also try not to judge people that leave early. Are they on call? Did they get paged? Was there an emergency? Will they be late for work?

I know several people that cut it extremely close in order to go to Mass and work. I also know of a surgical nurse that very often gets paged out of mass due to a medical emergency.

Unless I know of all of the details, I don’t make a judgement. But that’s just me.
 
I feel that it is the responsibililty of the priest to correct these problems. I have noticed in many parishes that some priests are not showing leadership anymore. In fact, in some parishes they go around and greet people in the pews before Mass when people are trying to pray. Also some have adopted the protestant traditions of having newcomers stand up before the liturgy starts and then everyone applauds. This is how it is done in many protestant churches. I think that is why so many Catholics don’t believe in the Real Presence of Christ anymore. Would a person just talk and makes jokes if Jesus Christ appeared to them? Of course not. When there is no respect shown towards His Real Presence people start believing that Our Lord is not truely present.

People follow the priest in how he conducts himself. If he is talking in church the people feel that it is acceptable. Also I noticed that many of these priests are of the older generation.

You can’t blame the parishioners as they are just following their Shepard. My church is traditional and no one speaks, except to quietly ask if they may sit in the pew. They pray before Mass and show great respect to the Blessed Sacrament. Our pastor is also older, but he teaches the congregation how to conduct themselves during Mass and in church.

We have confession before every Mass on Sundays and weekdays. There are always long lines waiting.

The priest celebrates the TLM/EF every Sunday and also the OF, but it is done with reverance, no innovations.

I am a convert and feel that I am back in the protestant church when I visit other parishes.

You might speak to the Pastor, but I have a feeling that he won’t take kindly to your suggestions and that could make life even more difficult for you.

Let us pray for these priests and that Pope Benedict is strong enough to correct these problems and chooses orthodox Bishops to replace some of the ones who are retiring and allow liturgical innovations or even encourages them.

Yours in the Hearts of Jesus and Mary

Bernadette
 
aicirt said:
I don’t see Protestants or Jews attending their services in jeans. They seem to make the effort.
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Apparently you haven’t been to a Protestant evangelical service lately. At those types of churches in my area, people wear whatever they want, and even the pastor wears jeans and an untucked shirt.

I suppose it’s the influence of Rick Warren, the pope of evangelicalism. 😉
 
callmeChris said:
MyNow what is he doing that is unacceptable? We have girls that come in with mini shirts and tank tops, we have people that talk, before and AFTER the Mass, people leave the Church before the priest has the change to give the final blessing. and leave the altar. I mean I feel like my parish derides the sacred writings of Saint Paul!

What do I do and say? Give me your opinion on what you think.
Click to expand...
if these are not the priest’s children, he does not buy their clothes and let them go out like that, what would you suggest he do, have the parents arrested?

why are people on the altar at all, good they should leave they don’t belong their if they are not the priest or deacon

so people talk before and after Mass, yeah? what is the alternative? is there an atmosphere of prayer? would you like one? then kneel down and pray

Is this priest the resident pastor or a visitor? Have your brought your concerns to him? Have your brought them to parish council or the lay leadership?

there is a lot here that is unfortunate, but I reserve atrocious for liturgical abuse. If you have something like that to report say so, but sounds, sadly, like standard US parish life to me.
 
Mea_Culpa said:
Ah yes, the “Jesus loves everybody in their sins” gospel. Unfortunately, you are worshipping a Jesus of your own making. Jesus preached repentance - turning away from sin and toward God. Jesus forgave the thief on the cross - after the thief renounced his sins and asked for forgiveness. Do you think Mary Magdalene was still a prostitute when she was following Jesus? No - she renounced her sinful lifestyle.

People coming in to Church and disrespecting Jesus truly present in the Eucharist is an outrage. People are showing what is in their hearts by the way they are acting. If they are idly chatting, dressing inappropriately, arriving or leaving whenever they feel like it - they are showing that they either don’t believe that Jesus is truly present in the Eucharist, or that they do believe He is truly present but that He doesn’t deserve respect or even common courtesy.
Click to expand...
👍👍
 
lelhajj said:
Dear fellow in Christ,
after reading your post and meditating about my personal opinion, here, it comes. Didn’t Jesus accept the prostitute or the thief? why wouldn’t you accept those young girls that at least are willing to come and listen to the gospel instead of just wasting time about their own spiritual growth? you should welcome them, even the ones that leave the mass before it ends. We need our parishioners in order to keep our churches and our priests, specially during these difficult times for the church. Remember, the church is a place that welcomes everybody, good catholics, sinners, thieves, murderers, etc. The youth will grow older and they will learn to keep a discreet attire for going to the church. Feel happy that other people go, even if they are not perfect. Do not get bother by what other people do, just be there in holy communion with our Lord, that is the reason why we go to church. These are small things, but the most important is what does those people have in their hearts. Welcome them and be gracious, so that they get more involved in your church and they will start learning to show respect to our holy place. Just imagine, if we become so demanding of those small things, do you believe people will feel encourage to come? 😉
Click to expand...
i can see what you’re saying, Lelhajj, but the truth is that Church is supposed to be a body of believers worshiping the Lord in reverence, holiness, and humility. it is supposed to be a refuge from the world and from sin, not a place where we graciously allow sin and irreverance for the sake of welcoming people.

Christ did indeed preach to people fom all walks of life, including prostitues. but there was also a call to repentance, purity, holiness, and righteousness. a prostitite or tax collector may have been welcomed to hear and believe the Gospel, but once in the Church they did not continue to prostitute themselves, or extort money.

talking before and after the service, wearing scanty clothing, disrespecting the altar, and leaving before the service is over in a non-emergency situation are not “small things”. respecting these rules and guidlines means respect for God. imo priests should teach their flocks to be respectful in church, and allow the discipline of the Church to be what calls people in, not something to be put aside in order to be accomodating.
 
Those are actions of your fellow parishioners, not the priest. You do not know that he accepts them. He may ideed be taking action privately and it wouldn’t be your business to know that.

What you can do is first PRAY for your priest. He has a very difficult job and needs your support. Pray for the people of your parish that their hearts may be turned to God. Speak to those people at church who are your friends. Get them to dress properly and stay for the final blessing. As they do it will hopefully spread out to others. Finally, focus on your own behavior and be as charitable as possible about others.
 
Mrs. Sally

What do you do if no one is interested? What do you do if they (the parish members) have already been the reason why many went elsewhere? In short, what does one do if they have already tried your suggestions?

I always have found it ironic that the very people in the parish who preach tolerance of others are not very tolerant of those who would like to see some reverence for Our Lord in the Most Blessed Sacrament and decorum in dress return.

I’d be happy if the pastor simply followed the G.I.R.M.
 
Lormar said:
Mrs. Sally

What do you do if no one is interested? What do you do if they (the parish members) have already been the reason why many went elsewhere? In short, what does one do if they have already tried your suggestions?

I always have found it ironic that the very people in the parish who preach tolerance of others are not very tolerant of those who would like to see some reverence for Our Lord in the Most Blessed Sacrament and decorum in dress return.

I’d be happy if the pastor simply followed the G.I.R.M.
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You continue to pray for your priest and your fwellow parishioners. What you say about the priest not following the GIRM is a bigger deal than parishioners dressing inappropriately and I would begin there first. Start with the biggest issues and often the smaller ones resolve themselves.
 
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