My parish's confirmation program is awful. What can a teen/confirmandus do about this?

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LukeShalz

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What the Program LACKS
  • Even a hint of apologetics
  • Church history
  • Why the Catholic Faith should matter to teens (sex, drugs, self-esteem, other teen struggles)
  • Why the Catholic Church is the one true Church (AKA why to even bother staying Catholic)
  • The Rosary (not even once), Devine Mercy Chaplet, Liturgy of the Hours (not even during retreats), or any other official prayers of the Church
  • An adequate number of trained/religiously educated teachers (we have more than enough teachers, just not enough qualified ones)
  • Vocations Education
  • A test to see if anyone actually learned anything
  • A single copy of the Catechism
What the Program INCLUDES
  • Demeaningly childish arts and crafts
  • Slightly older teens lecturing indifferently from a script
  • “Do this useless and irrelevant and time-consuming project or else you will be kicked out of the program”
  • Watered down, shallow “it’s all about the love” theology
  • Two years of absurdly unnecessary red tape (meetings, paperwork, obligations)
  • Two separate 2-night retreats during both of which I was involuntarily exposed to pornography and quite a bit of marijuana (things which I have worked hard to and otherwise successfully managed to exclude from my life)
  • Using confirmandi as free labor and calling it a “service project” (We drew names on foam crosses for the First Communicants and did other similar frivolous arts and crafts things for the First Communion class. This is a sham. Then we were told to write a reflection on how we grew spiritually from this experience and what we learned about ourselves from it. What a mockery of spirituality!)
  • Immature program leaders who act like seventh graders (They start giggling in the middle of the prayers that they are LEADING)
  • Heresy and pure ignorance. Leaders mispronounce these words as though it’s their first time seeing them: Magisterium, Melchizedek, in persona Christi, Kyrie Eleison, Ciborium, blasphemy, just to name a few. The following have actually been said by program leaders to the whole cohort of confirmandi “There’s nothing wrong with disagreeing with the Church. I disagree with it on many things”, “I mean… if a different religion works for you, that’s ok”, “In what part of the Bible is Genesis? I can’t find it” (this was said from one leader to another)
It is frustrating and disheartening to see this program de-evangelize so many young people and make a pathetic joke of our faith. I want to do something about this mess but I don’t want to step on toes. The politics are complicated because I’m very involved here as an altar server and organist/flutist.

How can this be fixed? Should I just finish my last few months in the program and be done with it? Is there any kind of quality control for these programs?
 
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This is an extreme example of a common phenomenon.

The right thing to do is to write to your bishop. If you suspect he actually supports this kind of sloppy catechesis, my advice would be to put the local press in copy.

You will then be crucified for your faith…
 
Isn’t it a sad reality? I think I just may write him. Bishop Michael Barber tends to be more conservative, thankfully.
 
You never know, maybe the Bishop is itching to take action but hasn’t done so because nobody has complained.

Perhaps you could write a polite letter, citing all the examples you give in the least emotional way you can (as dry as possible) address it to the Parish Priest, and put the Bishop in copy.
 
From the sounds of it the program needs redone from the bottom-up and unfortunately the people leading it should be in the class, not teaching the class. You can/should do an official complaint about it, but anticipate the strong possibility of being punished for your good deed by people older than you who can use their age as a weapon. Resist the urge to roll in the mud with them and always be charitable. You should also pray to God for a solution and be supremely confident that he is listening.

Peace.
 
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So far as I know Bishop Barber is a good bishop interested in promoting orthodoxy.
 
LukeShalz said:
Two separate 2-night retreats during both of which I was involuntarily exposed to pornography and quite a bit of marijuana (things which I have worked hard to and otherwise successfully managed to exclude from my life)
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I would report that to the parish priest.

As well as an issue of morality, I think that may potentially be a safeguarding issue.
 
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I agree that what you describe is a mess and should be addressed. In the short-term however, keep in mind we are not just baby birds squawking to be fed. We aren’t just limited to the materials presented in class. If apologetics is lacking, study apologetics in your own. If church history is glossed over, read church history in your own. I’m guessing you probably are, but the point is, God will help those who help themselves.
 
Your solution is the exact opposite of what’s should be done.
What should be done is the norm of the Latin Church should be followed and we should abandon the absurd practise of delaying confirmation until middle school and then figuring out how to prepare kids who have had no religious formation for 5+ years

Can. 891 The sacrament of confirmation is to be conferred on the faithful at about the age of discretion unless the conference of bishops has determined another age, or there is danger of death, or in the judgment of the minister a grave cause suggests otherwise.
 
LukeShalz said:
Two separate 2-night retreats during both of which I was involuntarily exposed to pornography and quite a bit of marijuana
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Wow. That could also be a legal issue. Write to your priest and bishop like someone said.
 
Unfortunately this is a comon problem across the Church in the West.
Write to your Bishop. If you don’t get a response, perhaps consider writing to a local or national Catholic publication. If you feel comfortable discussing the matter with the parish priest then that could also be an avenue to take. Sometimes priests with a large workload will outsource these things and maybe he doesn’t realise it’s so bad.
 
Aside from the specific issues the OP has raised with regard to his experience in his own parish, I think we need to get away from the notion that Confirmation is something that is granted after someone attends a course of catechesis lessons, or that it is some sort of ‘rite of passage’ where the young person becomes an ‘adult in the Church’. I don’t think unconditional gifts (as I understand them) should be subject to the condition that a person attends a series of catechesis lessons or meetings. I sometimes think the Orthodox Church (and Easter rite Catholics) have got a point where , as far as I am aware, they administer the Eucharist and Confirmation along with Baptism.
 
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LukeShalz said:
  • Even a hint of apologetics
  • Church history
  • Why the Catholic Faith should matter to teens (sex, drugs, self-esteem, other teen struggles)
  • Why the Catholic Church is the one true Church (AKA why to even bother staying Catholic)
  • The Rosary (not even once), Devine Mercy Chaplet, Liturgy of the Hours (not even during retreats), or any other official prayers of the Church
  • An adequate number of trained/religiously educated teachers (we have more than enough teachers, just not enough qualified ones)
  • Vocations Education
  • A test to see if anyone actually learned anything
  • A single copy of the Catechism
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Have you read the Catechism about what Confirmation is? It is not an apologetics or Church history skills exam. It is not a vocational discernment. Prayer is important, however, there is no checklist of formal prayers that are required. It is not a quiz on the Catechism.

It IS about love and service because it is about the completion of your Sacrament of initiation. Christians are called to love and serve. We are also called to humility and obedience.
 
LukeShalz said:
How can this be fixed? Should I just finish my last few months in the program and be done with it? Is there any kind of quality control for these programs?
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I’m going to disagree with the suggestions you’ve so far received.

In times of conflict, the ethical thing to do is to go straight to the sources first.

Set up a meeting with your parish R.E. director to express your concerns. Write them down in a tactfully worded way before you present them. Are your parents as concerned as you are? Either way, bring them along. If you can, invite other concerned teens and parents with you.

If the meeting isn’t to your satisfaction, discuss the matter with your priest, and move up the hierarchy from there, e.g. to your bishop.
LukeShalz said:
Heresy and pure ignorance.
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Don’t mention mispronunciations. It will sound petty. Do bring up any concerns about deviations from Church teaching.

In fact, rather than jumping on your parish with the entire list, prioritize the most important factors. Boring crafts? Man up. You can survive those. Marijuana and porn on a retreat? Goodness gracious - speak up!
 
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Most educational programs are designed for the people who participate. If you think they have misjudged the people in the class, let them know. Ask questions about the assignments, your relationship with God, etc. in order to learn, not as a challenge. Something like “how will this help me prepare for the Holy Spirit?” rather than “What am I doing this for?”

One of the first lessons of a discipleship program is to learn to trust your instructor. Tasks may have a purpose beyond what you recognize. In The Karate Kid the student is forced to wax the master’s cars repeatedly. Eventually he learns he was not doing it for the cars benefit, but to develop his muscles. It may be that what seems pointless now will be valuable later.

In any event, recognize that God has brought you to this place to prepare for the encounter with the Divine in your life. Be grateful for the opportunity to learn from others.
 
@LukeShalz I agree with @blackforest on this. I am the director of youth ministry at my parish and would like to hear feedback from a youth in a program. However, no one wants to hear it in the manner you have presented it here today. I am always striving to make our program better, more relatable, delivered in a way the kids understand and internalize it.

I agree childish arts & crafts are not the most useful in teaching. In my diocese youth are confirmed in high school. I also do not use other teens to work with confirmation. I would love to get some young adults but they are hard to pin down.
LukeShalz said:
Two separate 2-night retreats during both of which I was involuntarily exposed to pornography and quite a bit of marijuana (things which I have worked hard to and otherwise successfully managed to exclude from my life)
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This should have been reported to the director of your program immediately. Were there chaperones awake on duty during the night?

The training of catechists is crucial. It’s something I’m working on with some of mine.

Speak to your parents about this first. Then have them set up a meeting with the director. See what comes from that. You sound like an intelligent kid who is far beyond what many of your peers are. Unfortunately the program must work for the whole and not just the one.
 
Horton said:
This should have been reported to the director of your program immediately. Were there chaperones awake on duty during the night?
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I agree. The chaperones are supposed to take shifts all night. Yep, teens sneak things. That is one reason we stopped overnight retreats. The retreats for teens are all day, cell phones, devices are locked away. Teens are never alone, there is even a bathroom monitor. When the teens ask “why” I tell them because I was a worse teen than they will every be and I know every trick in the book.
 
@Brendan_64
When Baptism is administered to adults entering into the RC church it is usually accompanied by Confirmation and Holy Eucharist. We believe in infant Baptism where the parents and God parents stand in for the child. In Confirmation the youth has to make a Commitment on their own. The stakes are very high as our eternal destiny is at stake! It is certainly essential that those getting confirmed understands what their commitments are!
 
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