My parish's confirmation program is awful. What can a teen/confirmandus do about this?

[Maximian]

Most educational programs are designed for the people who participate

It doesn’t sound as if there is a person on this planet who could derive any educational benefit from this program whatever.

 

[esieffe]

You are free to go to other Churches for this while remaining a member at your current church. People from other churches regularly came to ours. I would consider that option if available.

The only other option would be to order some books and augment what your kids get at your own church.

 

[TK421]

I’m going to disagree with the suggestions you’ve so far received.

Low-quality and/or cheesy teaching & instruction is one thing but if the leaders are giving the students a blatantly half-secular, half-protestant education in a Catholic classroom then that needs to be immediately skipped up to the next person. The former falls under “room for improvement” and the later falls under “you should not be volunteering/employed in this building in a teaching capacity.” Children come first and the children are suffering an injustice.

 

[tafan2]

However, no one wants to hear it in the manner you have presented it here today.

Yes, but that’s the way kids think. We might not like the way they word their feedback, but if we want to hear it, figure out what’s behind it, don’t discount it because of the tone.

 

[Dorothy]

I totally agree that research and study about the faith can be done by the one about to receive the sacrament of Confirmation. Also parents can help much.

And, of course, many letters can be written to the bishop!

Let us pray that these scenarios change wherever they take place!

 

[CilladeRoma]

This is a fundamental misunderstanding of what the Sacrament of Confirmation is.
And sadly, what helped to perpetuate the attitude that led to programs like the one the OP describes.

 

[Horton]

I’m not going to say the OP is not telling the truth, however he is telling his side of it. We really do not know the contents of the program, nor the qualifications of the catechists delivering the program. We only know his opinion of it.

While the program may be as bad as the OP claims, we do not know for sure. I still say going to the director is the best first step.

 

[PatK63]

@CilladeRoma
What is the misunderstanding?

 

[Sursumcorda1]

You sound like a very intelligent young man with such an organized complaint. Put up with the program, make a commitment to do your own research into church history, apologetics, theology, canon law, etc., and someday you will be working for the church.

 

[CilladeRoma]

Confirmation is NOT a person decided for themselves to be Catholic, they are already Catholic by nature of their Baptism.
Read the Catechism, that will give you the real meaning and purpose of Confirmation.

 

[babochka]

Boring crafts? Man up.

I disagree with this one. Spending valuable time on “kiddie crafts” disrespects the intellect and spiritual potential of teenagers. Maybe I wouldn’t say, “boring crafts”, but I would definitely express concern about the lack of age-appropriate content and teaching time being taken up with crafts instead.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Spending valuable time on “kiddie crafts” disrespects the intellect and spiritual potential of teenagers. Maybe I wouldn’t say, “boring crafts”

Last St Valentine’s Day, my husband was far from home, 3 weeks post mechanical heart pump implant, in the ICU ward. A Catholic hospital, a volunteer came around and gave each person on that Cardiovascular ICU ward two Valentine’s Day cards.

They were constriction paper, markers, crayons, with the name of the parish they came from. Those simple cards brought such joy to him, he had been an RE Catechist, a Youth Catechist before he got sick. He and I had been the sort who turned up our nose at “Cut Color and Draw”.

Never again will I feel that way. If your teens are decorating place-mats for prison ministry or making cards for shut ins, they are doing God’s work. There is not one single disrespectful thing about them.

 

[PatK63]

I did not say anything different!

 

[1ke]

What the Program LACKS

• Even a hint of apologetics
• Church history
• Why the Catholic Faith should matter to teens (sex, drugs, self-esteem, other teen struggles)
• Why the Catholic Church is the one true Church (AKA why to even bother staying Catholic)
• The Rosary (not even once), Devine Mercy Chaplet, Liturgy of the Hours (not even during retreats), or any other official prayers of the Church
• Vocations Education
• A test to see if anyone actually learned anything
• A single copy of the Catechism

Most all of what you’ve listed here pertains to religious education in general, but NOT to confirmation preparation. The proximate preparation for confirmation has a specific purpose, and these things-- while worthwhile-- aren’t it.

An adequate number of trained/religiously educated teachers (we have more than enough teachers, just not enough qualified ones)

This may or may not be true, however it is not for you to determine. Each diocese has preparation programs and continuing education programs. Most religious education teachers in parish programs are volunteers. Their knowledge and preparation do vary, and it is up to the pastor to monitor and make any adjustments necessary if anyone is truly unqualified.

What the Program INCLUDES

• Demeaningly childish arts and crafts
• Slightly older teens lecturing indifferently from a script
• “Do this useless and irrelevant and time-consuming project or else you will be kicked out of the program”
• Watered down, shallow “it’s all about the love” theology
• Two years of absurdly unnecessary red tape (meetings, paperwork, obligations)
• Using confirmandi as free labor and calling it a “service project” (We drew names on foam crosses for the First Communicants and did other similar frivolous arts and crafts things for the First Communion class. This is a sham. Then we were told to write a reflection on how we grew spiritually from this experience and what we learned about ourselves from it. What a mockery of spirituality!)
• Immature program leaders who act like seventh graders (They start giggling in the middle of the prayers that they are LEADING)

These are opinions. There is nothing doctrinally problematic here. If you have concerns regarding these types of things, then the people to talk to them about are: the religious education coordinator/director and the pastor. However, I suggest you not take the approach you’ve taken here, because like all areas of your life, the way you approach something matters. Make an appointment and ask to talk to them about your concerns, and bring suggestions for improvement. However, the items you listed under “what the program lacks” are NOT improvements as they are not germane to confirmation preparation.

 

[1ke]

Two separate 2-night retreats during both of which I was involuntarily exposed to pornography and quite a bit of marijuana (things which I have worked hard to and otherwise successfully managed to exclude from my life)

This should be reported to the retreat director, the religious education direction, the pastor, and your parents ASAP. Of course, no one knows if you don’t tell them.

Heresy and pure ignorance.

Look, you need to get off the high horse. People make mistakes. Pronunciation of biblical places and names, and other items, happens all the time. Including to educated people.

Leaders mispronounce these words as though it’s their first time seeing them: Magisterium, Melchizedek, in persona Christi, Kyrie Eleison, Ciborium, blasphemy , just to name a few.

You are making assumptions. Perhaps they have indeed heard these before, and heard them pronounced in an incorrect way. It is something to speak to the leader privately about.

The following have actually been said by program leaders to the whole cohort of confirmandi “There’s nothing wrong with disagreeing with the Church. I disagree with it on many things”, “I mean… if a different religion works for you, that’s ok”, “In what part of the Bible is Genesis? I can’t find it” (this was said from one leader to another)

These are things to bring to your pastor as concerns, if you understood them properly.

It is frustrating and disheartening to see this program de-evangelize so many young people and make a pathetic joke of our faith. I want to do something about this mess but I don’t want to step on toes. The politics are complicated because I’m very involved here as an altar server and organist/flutist.

If you approach your pastor in a spirit of improvement, rather than a spirit of criticism, and talk with him earnestly, perhaps you can move towards change.

You certainly need to report the drugs and inappropriate media use during parish retreats.

How can this be fixed?

Talk to your pastor.

Should I just finish my last few months in the program and be done with it?

You should certainly complete your confirmation preparation and receive Confirmation.

Is there any kind of quality control for these programs?

This is your pastor’s purview. Talk to him. And enlist your parents for assistance. What do they think of all this?

 

[do_justly_love_mercy]

First, nobody should be using cannabis during your retreats. As you know, it is illegal for people under the age of 21 to use cannabis in the State of California. Secondly, you should not be exposed to pornography against your will. At the very least, this is a form of bullying. Please talk to somebody about this.

I think your expectations of your parish confirmation program are somewhat unrealistic. You are not attending the program to train as an apologist or to receive an academic education in theology. It also seems unrealistic to imagine that a program aimed at teens would include things such as the recitation of the Liturgy of the Hours, which is not relevant for most Catholic laity. You do not need to discern your vocation in order to be confirmed.

As for how people pronounce words in Hebrew Greek, and Latin, they may not actually be wrong. Insofar as anybody actually knows how ancient languages were pronounced, there are a range of acceptable alternatives. For example, somebody whose training is in classical Latin will pronounce words differently than somebody whose training is in ecclesiastical Latin. Furthermore, their pronunciations will vary depending in what part of the world they were educated and how old they are. Professions such as law and medicine also have their own unique ways of pronouncing Latin words.

In general, I would warn you that you do risk coming across as somewhat arrogant. Humility is, of course, an important virtue for us all to work on. On another thread, for example, you wrote, “God has blessed me with great intellect”. Most people do not say things like this, even people who really have been blessed with great intellect. In fact, perhaps especially people who really have been blessed with great intellect. You say that you are in the top 8% of your graduating class, which is great. However, at best, I think that people will find observations such as this somewhat naive. At worst, you risk annoying and alienating them.

 

[CilladeRoma]

One is not required to “understand” or consent to being Catholic to be Confirmed. In the Eastern rites, Chrismation is done at the same time as Baptism.
We need to stop making teenagers jump through hoops to be Confirmed. It is not a “rite of passage” or a recommitment to the faith, it is the final part of Initiation, and should not have all sorts of extras tied to it.
This is why I believe the Roman Rite should go back to restored order.

 

[babochka]

One is not required to “understand” or consent to being Catholic to be Confirmed. In the Eastern rites, Chrismation is done at the same time as Baptism.
We need to stop making teenagers jump through hoops to be Confirmed. It is not a “rite of passage” or a recommitment to the faith, it is the final part of Initiation, and should not have all sorts of extras tied to it.
This is why I believe the Roman Rite should go back to restored order.

A person is required to have an understanding appropriate to his or her age and stage of development. Likewise, if a person has the ability to consent or not, then consent is required.

 

[JanR]

I don’t recall my own preparation for Confirmation being that complicated. But then, that occurred a very long time ago. I certainly don’t remember any overnight retreats.

As for arts and crafts (I don’t recall we did any of those, either), there’s something to be said for making things by hand, from scratch, using simple materials that can be combined with creative spirit and developed into something lovely.

And giving handmade gifts that one has put a lot of thought and love into can be very special, not only for the person who devoted time and energy into making them, but also for the recipients. A handmade art and craft item, while it may not be very sophisticated, is one of a kind. There is no machine that has mass-produced it in the hundreds and thousands. There is no one else on earth who will possess exactly that item made in exactly that way with exactly that outcome.

And the spirit of love is the most important element.

Thoughtful creativity should never be under estimated or under appreciated, especially if it is being done for charity, and the finished items are going to help others.

From what I’ve been able to gather on these forums, Confirmation preparation has changed a great deal from when I was confirmed. I can’t judge if this is for the better or worse, only that it’s different from my own experience.

With the exception of the porn and pot, I would suggest you go along with the program, do the best you can, and get confirmed. As for the porn and the pot, you should report that at once. It has no place in any kind of program.

One other thing: You do come across as somewhat arrogant. I would tone it down a bit, and approach the matter with a sincere desire for improvement, not just finding fault.

 

[PatK63]

They need to consent to being confirmed and know what that means.