My pastor lies- how to address it?

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My pastor lies- obviously and blatantly…he admits it and has even told parishioners of when he has lied. He doesn’t seemed to experience shame or remorse either. How might a parishioner address this to help him curb that behavior?
 
I assume you are talking a bout a Catholic Pastor because you mentioned parishioners.I suppose it depends on the lie. There may be lies that Jesus would like " No I don’t want the last piece of pie, you take it". Or there are lies that are far more serious. More information is needed. If he has a character flaw I believe the bishop should be notified.
 
I assume you are talking a bout a Catholic Pastor because you mentioned parishioners.I suppose it depends on the lie. There may be lies that Jesus would like " No I don’t want the last piece of pie, you take it". Or there are lies that are far more serious. More information is needed. If he has a character flaw I believe the bishop should be notified.
Jesus would not lie. Lying is a sin that cannot be committed under any circumstances. But let’s leave morality and get back on topic.

If your pastor is lying, tell the Bishop. Write him a letter about it. Be frank, polite, and charitable.
 
From the way you express things in other posts, the message is you do not like this man, your Priest. I would suggest you pray for him, pray that God will soften your heart and give you humility and peace.
 
It would be uncharitable to post specific lies, so I can’t. the intention of where these lies might lead someone…“to worry less, to take the last bit of cake, to mislead people to believe something so that it will protect someone from being harmed, or have hurt feelings…” I think these are the reasons. I think pride and selfishness are the reasons he lies sometimes, too. Once he asked me to lie. It may have been to protect me, but I didn’t need that, so I failed to follow those directives.

They are still lies nontheless, which when obvious, which makes me question anything he says. Trust is foundational in any relationship.

I would have a difficult time informing the Bishop of something like that. This pastor has good intentions, we just don’t see things in the same way. I would rather speak to a Knights of Columbus member (someone I could trust) to maybe help him see issues with truth telling more clearly.
 
It would be uncharitable to post specific lies, so I can’t. the intention of where these lies might lead someone…“to worry less, to take the last bit of cake, to mislead people to believe something so that it will protect someone from being harmed, or have hurt feelings…” I think these are the reasons.
Telling someone not to worry even if they good reason to is just a way of trying to make them feel better. Telling them to take the last piece of cake is simply being polite. Tellling someone a [harmless] untruth so as to avoid gossip or hurt feelings sounds compassionate (although I’ll admit misguided if a lie is told where none is required). Are you reading more into this than you should?
 
Its a funny thing with people, sometime whan you are telling the truth, they think you are lying anyway, cant please em all
 
I would have a difficult time informing the Bishop of something like that. This pastor has good intentions, we just don’t see things in the same way. I would rather speak to a Knights of Columbus member (someone I could trust) to maybe help him see issues with truth telling more clearly.
One would be wise to avoid falling into detraction or calumny.

**2507 **Respect for the reputation and honor of persons forbids all detraction and calumny in word or attitude.

**2479 **Detraction and calumny destroy the reputation and honor of one’s neighbor. Honor is the social witness given to human dignity, and everyone enjoys a natural right to the honor of his name and reputation and to respect. Thus, detraction and calumny offend against the virtues of justice and charity.

**2477 **Respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and word likely to cause them unjust injury. He becomes guilty:
  • of rash judgment who, even tacitly, assumes as true, without sufficient foundation, the moral fault of a neighbor; - of *detraction *who, without objectively valid reason, discloses another’s faults and failings to persons who did not know them; - of *calumny *who, by remarks contrary to the truth, harms the reputation of others and gives occasion for false judgments concerning them.
**2539 **Envy is a capital sin. It refers to the sadness at the sight of another’s goods and the immoderate desire to acquire them for oneself, even unjustly. When it wishes grave harm to a neighbor it is a mortal sin:

St. Augustine saw envy as “*the *diabolical sin.” “From envy are born hatred, detraction, calumny, joy caused by the misfortune of a neighbor, and displeasure caused by his prosperity.”
 
One would be wise to avoid falling into detraction or calumny.

**2507 **Respect for the reputation and honor of persons forbids all detraction and calumny in word or attitude.

**2479 **Detraction and calumny destroy the reputation and honor of one’s neighbor. Honor is the social witness given to human dignity, and everyone enjoys a natural right to the honor of his name and reputation and to respect. Thus, detraction and calumny offend against the virtues of justice and charity.

**2477 **Respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and word likely to cause them unjust injury. He becomes guilty:
  • of rash judgment who, even tacitly, assumes as true, without sufficient foundation, the moral fault of a neighbor; - of *detraction *who, without objectively valid reason, discloses another’s faults and failings to persons who did not know them; - of *calumny *who, by remarks contrary to the truth, harms the reputation of others and gives occasion for false judgments concerning them.
**2539 **Envy is a capital sin. It refers to the sadness at the sight of another’s goods and the immoderate desire to acquire them for oneself, even unjustly. When it wishes grave harm to a neighbor it is a mortal sin:

St. Augustine saw envy as “*the *diabolical sin.” “From envy are born hatred, detraction, calumny, joy caused by the misfortune of a neighbor, and displeasure caused by his prosperity.”
I don’t think this applies here. I don’t become joyful at this pastor’s suffering. I’ve prayed for him when sick or undergoing surgery, when his mother has been ill, etc. I see what your saying about watching for his reputation and not wanting to be part of that process despite my good intentions, too. Perhaps I should just drop it, not try to help the man, and just move on to another parish.
 
Perhaps I should just drop it, not try to help the man, and just move on to another parish.
Considering that virtually every thread you’ve started has been about problems with your pastor, moving on to a different parish might be the best thing you can do.

You’ve described a number of difficulties with him and they never seem to be resolved in a way you like. Having one or two issues with the man might be one thing, but the constant distress can’t be good for your spiritual or emotional health or his.

Ultimately he is the pastor and you’re not, so if there’s a power struggle you’re going to lose.

Finding another parish where you can be more at ease would probably be good all the way around.
 
Telling someone not to worry even if they good reason to is just a way of trying to make them feel better. Telling them to take the last piece of cake is simply being polite. Tellling someone a [harmless] untruth so as to avoid gossip or hurt feelings sounds compassionate (although I’ll admit misguided if a lie is told where none is required). Are you reading more into this than you should?
Sometimes the lies hurt-admitting that a lie was told to someone, telling them he filled out annulment papers when he didn’t, or saying he didn’t read correspendence when he did (and actually repeated word for word what was said.) Or asking someone to lie to cover his underhandedness. In other words, they can be innocent (like playing Robin Hood and lying to the Bishops office about weekly collections to begin a special fund for the poor somewhere,) or they can take on a more sinister feel involving deception and probable painful consequences for those involved.
 
Considering that virtually every thread you’ve started has been about problems with your pastor, moving on to a different parish might be the best thing you can do.

You’ve described a number of difficulties with him and they never seem to be resolved in a way you like. Having one or two issues with the man might be one thing, but the constant distress can’t be good for your spiritual or emotional health or his.

Ultimately he is the pastor and you’re not, so if there’s a power struggle you’re going to lose.
Finding another parish where you can be more at ease would probably be good all the way around.
Perhaps you are right-many of the more conservative Catholics at that Parish have left. All the others have moved across town to another Parish, with positive results. It feels to me like divorce though, and I don’t support divorce until all avenues are exhausted.
All avenues may not be exhausted, but I personally, am getting exhausted:(
 
How to help a pastor who has a problem with lying is the question. Nobody knows who this man is, so I have not hurt anyone…I’m trying to help.
 
Here is a list of those who will help this priest with any of his spiritual battles:

God

His confessor

His spiritual director

His bishop

His fellow priests

His family and close personal friends

You, as a parishioner should keep him in prayer every day.
 
Here is a list of those who will help this priest with any of his spiritual battles:

God

His confessor

His spiritual director

His bishop

His fellow priests

His family and close personal friends

You, as a parishioner should keep him in prayer every day.
I do keep him in prayer every day and I guess if I choose to stay, I need to lean on my faith a little harder and remind myself that for everything there is a season. I have planted seeds and they *will *grow.
 
Yep.

And it sounds like you expect this priest to be your pastor, to be trustworthy and wise, etc. I haven’t read your other threads, but it seems from this one that this particular priest is not able to live up to your expectations. It might be good for you to list out what you’re wishing for and see if you can find a spiritual director or an apostolate or something that can help you meet those very legitimate needs without have to rely on the pastor.
 
Yep.

And it sounds like you expect this priest to be your pastor, to be trustworthy and wise, etc. I haven’t read your other threads, but it seems from this one that this particular priest is not able to live up to your expectations. It might be good for you to list out what you’re wishing for and see if you can find a spiritual director or an apostolate or something that can help you meet those very legitimate needs without have to rely on the pastor.
Giving up on hope is contrary to the teachings of the gospel. I’m struggling with the concept of leaving because it will feel like giving up on faith hope and love that God grants to all of us…even in the presence of a pastor who is in the throws of his own spiritual battles.
 
Goodness, I’m not talking about giving up hope! I’m talking about letting your pastor be who he is and getting the needs he can’t meet, met elsewhere. Otherwise you are sacrificing your legitimate spiritual needs. If you can find other means, then you might also find the strength to stay in your parish and get and give there what is possible.
 
Priests live in a glass house, & people are very quick to notice their faults, when people of the parish start to label the Priest certain things, that is what he becomes. In my diocese, there is a parish, where the priest is constantly critized, so he became what they were always critizising him for. Then they critized him for that.He could do nothing right. Later on they found that he had multiple health problems , which probably caused some of the actions they didnt like. Most of us are too quick to judge. When a priest is assigned to a new parish, boy all they can do is to see what they can find wrong about him
 
I’m not wanting to hurt him. He has a problem with lying, and he needs help, if he is ever going to become a better pastor and person.
Hello!
Stop with defensive posturing for this person. The lies can and have hurt people. I’m trying to figure out the best course of action on how to address it. I already know that going through the Bishop would be overkill.
 
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