My praying annoys my Dad and worries my Mother

[scrupulousrvrt]

As the Title says, my prayers (which are more compulsion than actual prayer) annoys the living daylight out of my Father and Worries my Mother (which i have no intention to put them through the ringer ) when i say grace sometimes during meals, he goes off “y’know you should thank me that i put that on the table”. I whisper my compulsive prayers so that my sleeping Father doesn’t wake-up but he can sometimes hear a mouse-fart, wakes up and tells me to be quiet. He also doesn’t go to Church (much of my family is CINO, as I was for a time) and i’m here wondering if i could pray in a way that doesn’t annoy him so much. I’m like a ticking time-bomb when i do it because i’m half focused on prayer and half focused on smart remark he’s going to make. What do you suggest i do to cool my blood while i’m saying grace or praying in the general vicinity of my Dad (which includes the entire house)?

 

[Nonna2005]

Why don’t you just pray silently in your head? I hope you also pray that your Dad finds God someday!

 

[Reepicheep]

Why does this annoy your father? Is it that he knows you’re scrupulous and is worried about you?
Or does he have a problem with anyone in the house praying?

In either case silent prayer is a possibility. But please, if you have a problem with scrupulosity, get help for it. Find a good priest to give you spiritual counsel.

 

[Elena321]

As the Title says, my prayers (which are more compulsion than actual prayer) annoys the living daylight out of my Father and Worries my Mother (which i have no intention to put them through the ringer ) when i say grace sometimes during meals, he goes off “y’know you should thank me that i put that on the table”. I whisper my compulsive prayers so that my sleeping Father doesn’t wake-up but he can sometimes hear a mouse-fart, wakes up and tells me to be quiet. He also doesn’t go to Church (much of my family is CINO, as I was for a time) and i’m here wondering if i could pray in a way that doesn’t annoy him so much. I’m like a ticking time-bomb when i do it because i’m half focused on prayer and half focused on smart remark he’s going to make. What do you suggest i do to cool my blood while i’m saying grace or praying in the general vicinity of my Dad (which includes the entire house)?

Hi,

You could pray silently and also thank your father for providing the meal or being hardworking and a good provider.

God Bless.

 

[Elena321]

As the Title says, my prayers (which are more compulsion than actual prayer) annoys the living daylight out of my Father and Worries my Mother (which i have no intention to put them through the ringer ) when i say grace sometimes during meals, he goes off “y’know you should thank me that i put that on the table”. I whisper my compulsive prayers so that my sleeping Father doesn’t wake-up but he can sometimes hear a mouse-fart, wakes up and tells me to be quiet. He also doesn’t go to Church (much of my family is CINO, as I was for a time) and i’m here wondering if i could pray in a way that doesn’t annoy him so much. I’m like a ticking time-bomb when i do it because i’m half focused on prayer and half focused on smart remark he’s going to make. What do you suggest i do to cool my blood while i’m saying grace or praying in the general vicinity of my Dad (which includes the entire house)?

Hi,

You could pray silently and also thank your father for providing the meal or being hardworking and a good provider.

 

[josh987654321]

Hi scrupulousrvrt,

when i say grace sometimes during meals, he goes off “y’know you should thank me that i put that on the table”.

I just silently make the sign of the cross before meals. And before anyone could make a comment like that, I’ve usually already said ‘Thank you’ first on such occasions. Because I thank both God and my Parents or whoever else supplied the meal too.

I whisper my compulsive prayers so that my sleeping Father doesn’t wake-up but he can sometimes hear a mouse-fart, wakes up and tells me to be quiet.

I always pray in my head, unless it’s the Mass of course or some other special occasion.

He also doesn’t go to Church (much of my family is CINO, as I was for a time)

Not sure what you mean by CINO, never heard of that before.

and i’m here wondering if i could pray in a way that doesn’t annoy him so much.

I think by praying silently in ones head, and by simply making the sign of the cross before meals, which I think are beautiful, humble and very powerful ways.

I’m like a ticking time-bomb when i do it because i’m half focused on prayer and half focused on smart remark he’s going to make. What do you suggest i do to cool my blood while i’m saying grace or praying in the general vicinity of my Dad (which includes the entire house)?

On one very rare occasion, I made the sign of the cross before a meal and got a similar comment of “Why don’t you thank X for providing the food instead” and I simply replied “I did, I do both”

I hope this has helped.

God Bless You

Thank you for reading
Josh

 

[PaulfromIowa]

Pray silently. It sounds as though you are trying to impress your parents with a show of prayer.

my prayers (which are more compulsion than actual prayer)

You really need to talk to a professional counselor or physician about this.

 

[tomgosse]

Not sure what you mean by CINO, never heard of that before.

CINO = Catholic In Name Only.

 

[josh987654321]

CINO = Catholic In Name Only.

Thank you.

 

[josh987654321]

Pray silently. It sounds as though you are trying to impress your parents with a show of prayer.

You really need to talk to a professional counselor or physician about this.

I was taken aback slightly from that as well, but I don’t think the OP meant it that way, I think the OP meant it more as in ‘wants to’.

God Bless You

Josh

 

[MT1926]

As the Title says, my prayers (which are more compulsion than actual prayer) annoys the living daylight out of my Father and Worries my Mother (which i have no intention to put them through the ringer ) when i say grace sometimes during meals, he goes off “y’know you should thank me that i put that on the table”. I whisper my compulsive prayers so that my sleeping Father doesn’t wake-up but he can sometimes hear a mouse-fart, wakes up and tells me to be quiet. He also doesn’t go to Church (much of my family is CINO, as I was for a time) and i’m here wondering if i could pray in a way that doesn’t annoy him so much. I’m like a ticking time-bomb when i do it because i’m half focused on prayer and half focused on smart remark he’s going to make. What do you suggest i do to cool my blood while i’m saying grace or praying in the general vicinity of my Dad (which includes the entire house)?

I understand there are people that are moved by the spirit, however this Bible verse always comes into my mind when someone goes into a 10 minute pray filled with umms and pauses and oh this and that.

Matthew 6:7-8
7 “And in praying do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard for their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

You know ahead of time that diner is starting, maybe pray on your way to the table. When diner is ready to start simple say:

Dear Lord, we thank you for the food before us, bless the hands that prepared and provided it. Amen.

God knows what is in your heart with this prayer. He will also knows that you made it short and sweet to honor your mother and father.

God Bless

 

[Casilda]

I understand there are people that are moved by the spirit, however this Bible verse always comes into my mind when someone goes into a 10 minute pray filled with umms and pauses and oh this and that.

Umm, no.

Having been raised by similar Catholic parents who did not go to church (after V2) I had the same experience and any form of religiosity was frowned upon. My dad was worried that at 18, I would join some cult or become a nun.

To the OP. Pray in silence. First pray for your parents. Always pray for your parents. You must love them but not more than God.

Matthew 10:37-39
37 He that loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me; and he that loveth son or daughter more than me, is not worthy of me.
38 And he that taketh not up his cross, and followeth me, is not worthy of me.

This is your cross as it was mine. Don’t let them make you hate God or hate them. My mom came around eventually to accepting me as a Christian. I was able to revert before my dad died and saw him come back to Christ shortly before he died. There is hope so don’t stop praying for them.

Do not let anyone tell you NOT to focus on God, because He tells us to. You know the spiel from CINOs.

 

[WingsOfEagles]

Is it because they aren’t overly religious or is it because you tend to be scrupulous and they are worried about your mental state? There is a point where prayer life can become a form of OCD where you aren’t really enjoying your God given life. You state your parents are CINO. I don’t know your family, so can’t confirm that statement, but is it possible that you are making a big show of your prayer in front of them and they feel that you’re being “holier than thou”?

 

[Casilda]

What do you suggest i do to cool my blood while i’m saying grace or praying in the general vicinity of my Dad (which includes the entire house)?

I should have had a suggestion for you. Growing up we all had to kiss goodnight, you know, don’t let the sunset in your anger. Let your parents know you love and appreciate them. Even though you may not feel it or are frustrated. It helps soften their hearts. Say, ‘love you, dad’ and in the same breath say, ‘thank you God’. You’ve got your prayer in

 

[InOmnemTerram]

Your modeling prayer in front of your father is obviously affecting him just as it should: his conscience is seemingly being pricked. That’s a good thing.

 

[WingsOfEagles]

Your modeling prayer in front of your father is obviously affecting him just as it should: his conscience is seemingly being pricked. That’s a good thing.

Provided it’s not coming across snooty…

 

[ClearWater]

The silent prayer suggestion is a good one. However, you seemed to be saying you are also praying compulsively.

Had you considered professional help for your compulsiveness, a professional counselor? Some health insurance policies will cover some visits.

God bless!

 

[MT1926]

Umm, no.

Having been raised by similar Catholic parents who did not go to church (after V2) I had the same experience and any form of religiosity was frowned upon. My dad was worried that at 18, I would join some cult or become a nun.

To the OP. Pray in silence. First pray for your parents. Always pray for your parents. You must love them but not more than God.

Matthew 10:37-39
37 He that loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me; and he that loveth son or daughter more than me, is not worthy of me.
38 And he that taketh not up his cross, and followeth me, is not worthy of me.

This is your cross as it was mine. Don’t let them make you hate God or hate them. My mom came around eventually to accepting me as a Christian. I was able to revert before my dad died and saw him come back to Christ shortly before he died. There is hope so don’t stop praying for them.

Do not let anyone tell you NOT to focus on God, because He tells us to. You know the spiel from CINOs.

Sorry if I struck a nerve. I must have miss understood the OP. When I read the word compulsion I defined it according to his name “scrupilousrvrt”.

So in my mind I heard this definition:
an irresistible urge to behave in a certain way, especially against one’s conscious wishes

Basically he just starts praying, because he has no choice. I apologize if I jumped to a wrong conclusion.

Then when I read his quote

when i say grace sometimes during meals, he goes off “y’know you should thank me that i put that on the table”

It looks to me his father is looking for some words of affirmation. I see nothing wrong with him thanking his father during a prayer. God wants a family relationship with us, so I don’t see how this takes anything away from God.

On a side note I am the father of a son who joined an evangelical, anti-Catholic, OSAS, sola scriptura, sola fide, penal substitutionary atonement church. So I get to constantly deal with the prayers of how Jesus took on all of the wrath of God and was punished in our place, and um also how we can do nothing, and um there is more yeah our works are like filthy rags and um it’s all you God we can never give thanks or credit to anyone because then that would be acknowledging their works, which they do thinking they can buy salvation.

So the fact that his father doesn’t go to church is not an issue, the issue is the father wants to know he is loved and appreciated by his son. Not more than God, he just wants to be affirmed that he at least made the list.

Sorry for the personal rant. I just wanted you to know that I can see where the Father is coming from. I thank God my sons a-C adventures strengthened my Catholic faith, because it would have been just as easy for his over the top antics to bring me into not really seeing the point of faith anymore.

God Bless

 

[Bonnie]

I agree with the advice of others here: say prayers silently when your parents are in the room and get counseling. Compulsive anything - including prayer - is not healthy.

Your dad had a point. You live at home. Have you ever thanked him for providing a roof over your head & food for you to eat? Have you ever thanked your mother for preparing that food & doing the many other things mothers do? The more often you say “thank you” - and mean it! - the softer their hearts will be.

 

[gambling88]

Move out! If your too young or don’t have any money. Try to move in with your practicing Catholic relative. If someone in your life hinders you from getting closer to God, cut them away from you. You’re obviously not strong enough to lift up those people and bring them closer to God at this point but at some point you will probably be strong enough and be able to go back or they will come to you.