My prenatal exam showed Trisomy 18 high risk

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MarthaSo

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Hi everyone,
I’m 43 and 4 months. My 2nd trimester screening showed 1:8 Trisomy 18 chance which is extremely high. My first trimester screen showed normal.

I’m not doing an amnio test because of the risk of miscarriage, while low, is too high. The doctor said I should in case I want to terminate because trisomy 18 is considered incompatible with life and most babies die automatically or within a year. He said it so breezily.

I would never terminate, it hurt to hear that. Now I have 5 months of not knowing whether my baby is healthy. I had to take an unpaid day off from work to clear my head and heart. My full time job is stressful.

I already love this baby and read the Magnificat to him in the morning. My heart hurts. I just wanted to share, for prayers but also for words of encouragement (that’s why I didn’t post in just the prayer section).

I sang the joy of the Lord is my strength this morning without much feeling but with hope the Lord would have pity on me and give me strength to endure.

There are rare cases where children with trisomy 18 survive many years with lots of pain, feeding tube , unable to walk etc.

Thanks to all for listening. Whether you privately pray for me or respond here is a tremendous blessing during this time and I thank you.
 
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MarthaSo,

Hang in there. No matter what “condition” your baby may have, you’ll never know how that little one will affect the world around him/her even if he/she only lives for a few short moments after birth. I’ve seen it first hand. My eldest has an extremely rare chromosomal disorder, is fairly severely physically and mentally handicapped, has been on a feeding tube her whole life, can’t speak, and can barely walk. But I wouldn’t change her for the world.

Please PM me if you’d like more encouragement.
 
God bless you for sharing, perhaps my husband and I will pm later as right now my heart hurts a bit much. Thank you again for sharing that, so much. God bless you and your family.
 
Ye,s please feel free to pm me together with your husband later. And it’s okay that your heart hurts. Let yourself grieve, but always trust in Jesus. With great sorrow comes even greater joy.
 
God bless you and your baby and husband, may God be with you.
 
I’m so sorry for your pain and fear.
And I’m so sorry that they use that awful scare tactic of “he will be in pain! Abort him!”
I’ve taken care of kids with trisomies. No, they don’t have lives of constant pain. They smile and laugh and enjoy life in between their trials, which to be fair are above and beyond most people’s trials, but in no was is a trisomy-free existence also a pain-free existence, either.

I agree with the poster upthread who advised finding a support group.

How are you doing, do you have an emotional support system in real life?

I’m praying for you.
 
Trust in God, He loves you and your baby. Praying for you both!


 
Thank you so much to everyone who responded here and in their hearts. I have my level 2 ultrasound next Tuesday. I don’t know if this ultrasound can confirm anything.

Just as I was eating, I felt little Matthew kick. And I said I’m going to love you so much. I said that because i read online there are mothers that immediately want to detach from their babies when they get this news. I remembered that when he kicked and it hurt my heart and I promised him love, love and more love. I know it’ll hurt more because of it if anything happens but I’ll be darned he deserves nothing less than all my love. I’m still going to eat healthy and take care of myself.
The only thing I worry about is not having enough of Gods strength, in my full time job stressing me too much. I need to pray very much, if I’m close to the Lord I can do this, the scary part is trying my best to get close and still feeling far during this time.
 
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Thank you so much, I will google support groups in NY. God bless you
 
You and precious little Matthew are in my prayers. ((HUG))

Blessed Mother, please intercede for us.
Hold the sorrowful-
Mother and love the weary, abused, neglected
or forgotten among us-
Give your aid to all needing help or healing-
Assist those who are sick, in pain or suffering-
Be with those needing peace-
Console the lonely or brokenhearted-
Comfort the lost or hopeless-
Strengthen the fearful-
Guard the unborn-
Pray for those who are dying or who have died-
Soften those with hardened hearts-
Enlighten those who do not yet see truth-
Help us be brave enough to let our hurt and anger go-
Show us the way to do the right thing-
Protect those who are in danger, and
Guide us from every evil.
May all who keep your sacred commemoration
experience the might of your assistance.
Amen
 
Dropping everything and saying a rosary for you, your family, and precious little Matthew. As a mom my heart is hurting for you. I don’t quite know what to say so I will just pray.
 
That is the most powerful and loving thing you could offer, thank you. God bless you
 
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Thank you so much, I read that with all my heart. God bless you
 
Matthew is my youngest brother’s name - what a lovely choice. ❤️

Praying for you, your husband and little Matthew. Even if there is a risk, that doesn’t mean that it is a “for sure” thing - many families have received negative news and then their babies are born perfectly fine. But whatever the outcome, out of all the parents in the world, YOU were picked to be his mother. What a precious gift! May God bless your family.
 
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