My Priest is being led astray!

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O.K., I was in a parish where this happened - first of all I want to say, how do you know about this and are you sure he’s not just placating her - trying to be nice without being too harsh? I’m sorry to question you- it’s not that I don’t believe what’s being said, it’s just I’ve seen malicious rumors begin and snow ball into a huge mess- and then later find out that the Priest was not at fault. I’m sorry to say, but certain women kind of going after Priests is something I’ve ssen far too often. I have a friend who is a Priest and he explained how difficult it can be to convince a female that has an interest that regardless of interes (although he did say he wasn’t), he took a vow and that’s it - no need for interpretation, it’s a vow. But he also did get told by the Bishop that he needed to “keep his congregation in order…” (this was after this thing had snow balled and someone had written the Bishop)- Bishops are unlikely (in my experience) to want to deal with this sort of thing unless he hears a lot about it and generally then, (again in my experience) will take the word of the priest over the word of parishoners.
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Look… If someone has a doubt, just ask the Priest. If you see him in a compromising position, then it’s no longer a doubt. OK? He doesn’t listen to you, you tell the Bishop and that’s what The Church asks of you. Nothing more nothing less. No one is speaking here of gossiping or fortune telling. It’s a matter of Morals. If a Priest is already found to be in a scandalous situation, call him on it. If he doesn’t care, call his Bishop. 🤷
 
TP2 said:
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I am a priest myself.  I just haven't been very involved for several years here on this site until recently.
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How wonderful! I am glad you are posting, and hope your duties will allow you to do so often. 👍

There is a group of us that hold our priests in prayer daily. We know very well that the evil one likes to strike at the shepherds so as to scatter the flock.
 
TP2 said:
Look… If someone has a doubt, just ask the Priest. If you see him in a compromising position, then it’s no longer a doubt. OK? He doesn’t listen to you, you tell the Bishop and that’s what The Church asks of you. Nothing more nothing less. No one is speaking here of gossiping or fortune telling. It’s a matter of Morals. If a Priest is already found to be in a scandalous situation, call him on it. If he doesn’t care, call his Bishop. 🤷
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I’m glad you’re on here to give your advice - but please understand, my family had some dealings with some situations - one which involved a very good friend of our family who was a priest. Our friend was at a dioscese in the South. We found out later that some woman had wanted his attentions -more than just as a Priest - He was a very holy priest and would not allow anything to happen between them - apparently, he even sent her to another priest or at least tried to. When this happened, she spouted off gossip about him and that she thought she saw him doing something with her little girl. He had a fairly new Bishop at the time - and instead of looking into the situation and evaluating it once some of the parishoners became aware of what the woman was saying, the Bishope said “you’re leaving” - normally, I would have thought this was a good idea, but the Bishop at the time knew he had just a couple of weeks prior been told he had stomach cancer but they were very short of Priests and the Priest that was there before him was an Alchoholic who was returning from being at a sober living facility and threatened to leave to return to Ireland unless he got to stay at the parish our friend was at- The priest we knew was sent to a parish in the middle of nowhere a good hour and a half away from a decent hospital with an oncology clinic. My famiily and multiple other families went to the Bishop - my parent along with some of the other families even took it to the ArchBishop (at the time, I was 11 going on 12 and about to begin high school in the States)our good friend was dead within 5 months-with all that was being said, he tried to deal with it much like I thik St. John Vianney did - he said nothing, but prayed - my parents once told me they heard him say upon hearing someone say something about the situation “I am doing nothing I would be ashamed for God to know about”. He never once condemned her or spoke out in a derrogatory fashion. I was very angry at the time because I wanted him to fight - I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t fight but remember thinking “Maybe Belgians just don’t like to fight…” but later, when older, I would look upon this as a very Saintly charecteristic.

The little girl later came out to acknowledge to some of us that her mother had some serious problems psychologically and her being only 6 or so at the time, she just did what her mom told her. Before all of this came to a close, the rumours exploded into everything from “he’s gay and having a relationship” to “he was sexually active with the mother and daughter”… I hate to say it, but some Churches I’ve been at are more places for gossip than the local high school.

The point of rehashing all of this for all of you reading this post on here is that, although I know this was a very different type of situation, I want people to at least not go with rumors or gossip and to actually watch to see if this person and the female are actually doing something and not just the female “trying” to do something. I must say, I think it’s a very good idea to go to the Priest first. At least this way if there is something that needs to be cleared up he can. I just don’t want to see anyone else get hurt by the rumour mill at a church Sorry I went on so long but I don’t speak about this lightly.

God Bless
Rye
 
Wow…how sad it is that women would go after priest like that. What a shame! I, for one, can’t thank priest enough for what they do. I had a pretty bad childhood and therefore I trust very few people on this earth…but I trust my priest. He is one of the few that has shown Christ to me. How sad that people try and knock our shepards down. I hope this all works out and that the priest involved can see what is going on. I’ll be praying for it!
 
Our friend was at a dioscese in the South. We found out later that some woman had wanted his attentions -more than just as a Priest - He was a very holy priest and would not allow anything to happen between them - apparently, he even sent her to another priest or at least tried to.
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I just want you folks ALL to understand that many women are not in good relationships or marriages and are often abused by their men so when they see a Priest and receive a certain counsel from him, etc… they SOMETIMES feel a desire to draw nearer. It’s only a human experience to draw near to someone when you feel they are good to you. It is just that the priest has to lay down the rules of engagement, no pun, and stop it in his tracks. Seeking to get more involved counseling such a person with the knowing they want more than that is just sloppy behaviour of the priest which should again…know the proper rules of engagement… he needs to be in touch with his bishop from day one so that there’s a kind of trail from when something took place.

Listen… A priest is only a man who strives for holiness like everyone should. He is not superman, either. He can fall… Look, if we wanted women to stay away frm us, we should not be in this business! Mostly women come to priests for advice or counsel… It needs to be clear from the get go that there are LIMITS to it. If people expect priests to not sin, they should ask for angels from heaven to come to the altar instead… Priests will fall just like all fall… We just need to learn that we can get up with the help of other Christians, too… that’s all… Sin will come. That’s inevitable. To some extent it will be venial and to others mortal… Can we recoup from these? The Gospel says YES! But we cannot expect Priests to be Angelic …perfect beings either. 😉
 
How wonderful! I am glad you are posting, and hope your duties will allow you to do so often.
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There is a group of us that hold our priests in prayer daily. We know very well that the evil one likes to strike at the shepherds so as to scatter the flock.
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God willing… 🙂
 
I think the thing we need to understand is that there is a BIG difference between the type of man that falls to sin like TP talks about, goes to confession, picks himself up with the help of the Lord and sins and no more, and the type of man that uses the collar and position to prey on the weak. The second is few and far between. But when they are there we do need to let a competent authority know in a way that reduces scandal and protects parishioners.
 
Time for me to interject. It is the woman who is putting the full court press on. G1j
 
I have been told that the Vietnamese women guard against this sort of thing in their community. I heard that one woman was ostracized and had to move because she hugged or kissed one of the priests. It was just a friendly peck on the cheek, but No means No in their community.
 
Time for me to interject. It is the woman who is putting the full court press on. G1j
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And? You know what is in the woman’s heart? You know what she has gone through? You also must know her psychological stats? Let’s not be quick to judge “the woman”…when we have no idea what her history with men has been. The priest on the other hand needs to show restraint and wisdom… Has he? If so, then his predicament is over. If not… not even 10 bishops and the Pope can help him. He needs to recognize the issue. Deal with the issue as he was taught in the seminary because i know they do teach how to deal with these issues… and go to his mentor The Bishop should he have more trouble. There are many parishes dying for a priest… for lack of having one. He has more choice and power over his life than this woman. 🤷
 
I think the thing we need to understand is that there is a BIG difference between the type of man that falls to sin like TP talks about, goes to confession, picks himself up with the help of the Lord and sins and no more, and the type of man that uses the collar and position to prey on the weak. The second is few and far between. But when they are there we do need to let a competent authority know in a way that reduces scandal and protects parishioners.
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St. Joan here is completely correct. 😉
 
TP2 said:
And? You know what is in the woman’s heart? You know what she has gone through? You also must know her psychological stats? Let’s not be quick to judge “the woman”…when we have no idea what her history with men has been. The priest on the other hand needs to show restraint and wisdom… Has he? If so, then his predicament is over. If not… not even 10 bishops and the Pope can help him. He needs to recognize the issue. Deal with the issue as he was taught in the seminary because i know they do teach how to deal with these issues… and go to his mentor The Bishop should he have more trouble. There are many parishes dying for a priest… for lack of having one. He has more choice and power over his life than this woman. 🤷
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You are making an assumption that there is no knowledge of the woman’s past . There is . My family cares deeply for our priest. It is disheartening to see a woman try to use a priest as a trophy.
 
You are making an assumption that there is no knowledge of the woman’s past . There is . My family cares deeply for our priest. It is disheartening to see a woman try to use a priest as a trophy.
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But the specific point is I did say that there may very well be a lot in the woman’s past. Let’s not always convict a victim just because we like the “personality” or “persona” of a Priest… Give the woman equal time. You don’t know what could have happened or not. Do you? Priests have been known to live double lives, you know. We are only human… 🤷
 
TP2 said:
But the specific point is I did say that there may very well be a lot in the woman’s past. Let’s not always convict a victim just because we like the “personality” or “persona” of a Priest… Give the woman equal time. You don’t know what could have happened or not. Do you? Priests have been known to live double lives, you know. We are only human… 🤷
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The original point behind this thread was to seek advice in how to help my Priest. I do not know if anything happened or not. There is enough evidence to support my thinking that the woman is looking for a trophy,but I am not going into that here. As far as Priests leading double lives, yes , I understand that a Priest is born with the same human frailties as the next person. He is also doing great harm to the Catholic Church and is NOT doing Gods work if he is living a double life. He is living a lie and that is a sin. The Priests have taken vows and should abide by them. They are not only hurting themselves, but all their parishioners as well. The whole idea of a Priest living a double life strikes with a sword at the very heart of the Catholic faith!!!
 
GRATEFULONEjim said:
I understand that a Priest is born with the same human frailties as the next person. He is also doing great harm to the Catholic Church and is NOT doing Gods work if he is living a double life. He is living a lie and that is a sin. The Priests have taken vows and should abide by them. They are not only hurting themselves, but all their parishioners as well. The whole idea of a Priest living a double life strikes with a sword at the very heart of the Catholic faith!!!
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You know, this is very true. The devil knows right where to attack the Church to do the most damage. Many priests live a double life because they are not surrounded by a lovingcommunity that can snatch them out of the fire.
 
You know, this is very true. The devil knows right where to attack the Church to do the most damage. Many priests live a double life because they are not surrounded by a lovingcommunity that can snatch them out of the fire.
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Don’t blame the community for our failures. That’s a cop out!
 
TP2 said:
Don’t blame the community for our failures. That’s a cop out!
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I am not blaming anybody. It is our responsibility to bear one another’s burdens. Before we start to criticize our priests, we need to look at the log in our own eye first. There is plenty of criticism, but many parishoners don’t step up to support the priest.
 
guanophore said:
I am not blaming anybody. It is our responsibility to bear one another’s burdens. Before we start to criticize our priests, we need to look at the log in our own eye first. There is plenty of criticism, but many parishoners don’t step up to support the priest.
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Our parish is a very loving and supportive community. I believe that this is the main reason this woman is trying to drive a wedge between our priest and his congregation. This woman has just recently started attending mass at our parish. Most certainly she is welcome. All are welcome in our parish. I am certainly not criticizing our priest . I want to help him any way I can. That was the whole point behind the thread. To seek advice on a good course of action. G1j
 
GRATEFULONEjim said:
Our parish is a very loving and supportive community. I believe that this is the main reason this woman is trying to drive a wedge between our priest and his congregation. This woman has just recently started attending mass at our parish. Most certainly she is welcome. All are welcome in our parish. I am certainly not criticizing our priest . I want to help him any way I can. That was the whole point behind the thread. To seek advice on a good course of action. G1j
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I did not mean it toward you in particular. I am glad that your priest has such an attentive community. There are some priests that have no one to notice what you have! Your situation will be in my prayers.
 
I am not blaming anybody. It is our responsibility to bear one another’s burdens. Before we start to criticize our priests, we need to look at the log in our own eye first. There is plenty of criticism, but many parishoners don’t step up to support the priest.
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Too true!
 
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