My Problem with Prayer

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Timidity

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I have a problem with prayer.

Not with all prayer, just with a certain kind of intercessory prayer.

It usually goes something like this: Someone hears that Mrs. Doe has a brain tumor, and asks us to pray for her recovery. Fair enough.

But then I think, “Why should I just pray for Mrs. Doe? She gets my prayer just because I know someone she knows? That hardly seems fair. In fact it seems selfish on my part. Maybe I should pray for all brain tumor sufferers.”

So then it occurs to me that what I’m really do is asking God to abolish brain tumors. But it seems to me that if He wanted to abolish brain tumors, then He would have done it without me asking. Afterall, it’s not like God needs my permission!

Which leads me back to “Thy will be done,” which makes me think I shouldn’t be asking for any such thing to begin with.

So I usually just opt out and instead of praying that Mrs. Doe receives a miraculous cure, I pray that God will bless Mrs. Doe and her loved ones with the strength and peace they need to get through their difficult time.

Obviously there’s some defect with my understanding. Can anyone help me out?
 
Don’t worry, you are not the only one who perceives a defect in their understanding of prayer. This probably why Paul (I think) says we don’t pray as we ought.

It is possible you already possess a great guide to prayer. Section 4 of the Catechism is all about prayer and the difficulties encountered. Let’s face it, many of us pick up the CCC looking for rules to whomp over people’s heads, but this forgotten section is quite brilliant. Check it out.

Scott
 
When we pray it should always be according to God’s will…not ours… 🙂
 
Scott Waddell:
Section 4 of the Catechism is all about prayer and the difficulties encountered.
Scott
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Brilliant! Whenever I give somebody a copy of the Catechism (and I hand 'em out all over the place), I always tell them to BEGIN with Part 4!
 
You’re actually perfectly right–it’s the person asking you for the prayer that is incorrect.

We’re not supposed to pray for specifics. What we need to be praying for is the grace to handle the situations, whether the situation goes well or not. When people pray for specifics (for example, for a brain tumor to disappear), and the event doesn’t occur (or worse, the individual dies), people can become upset with God for not answering their prayers–when in fact God did give them the grace to deal with the death of the loved one. Most people just ask someone to pray for the specifics because it’s easier and quicker to explain.

I truly don’t think God leaves any prayer unanswered–you just might not be expecting the answer He gives.
 
I have felt too that who are we to be asking God for anything? I mean, He certainly dosn’t need us, we need Him. So, where does that leave prayer? Lately, I’ve felt the spirit leading me to worship prayer. Instead of asking God to heal Mrs. Doe’s tumor I would pray in thanks for the works he has already done. That the doctors found it, for her conversion or whatever. I would pray though that God would open the eyes of my heart. But mostly, I’m just putting on worship music and standing in the presence in my prayer. I felt very strongly that the spirit said to me, “Stop asking me and start worshipping.” Yet, the word says clearly, ask and you shall recieve, knock and the door will be opened up to you. So I keep going in circles. Where am I in His will? I don’t know, but He does and in His wisdom I pray I’m in it.
Sistersamm
:blessyou:
 
We’re not supposed to pray for specifics.
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Actually I am unaware of any teaching saying this. Could you give us a citation? As far as I know, you may pray for anything, specific or general, and may ask others to pray for anything, specific or general.

Scott
 
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Almeria:
We’re not supposed to pray for specifics.
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I respectfully disagree. I see evidence throughout Scripture, Church Teaching, and the lives of the saints, that God wants to us to share with Him the desires of our hearts. Jesus prayed that the cross would pass Him by. That was pretty specific. And God answered His prayer with a resounding No! Just because said no, didn’t mean that Jesus would lose His faith.

Paul prayed for the resurection of a man who died after falling asleep while listening to Paul’s preaching, and fell out a window. That was pretty specific. Of course, Paul probably felt guilty that the guy fell asleep listing to his preaching. 😉
 
Michael Welter:
Paul prayed for the resurection of a man who died after falling asleep while listening to Paul’s preaching, and fell out a window. That was pretty specific. Of course, Paul probably felt guilty that the guy fell asleep listing to his preaching. 😉
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:sleep: :sleep: what - huh? sorry, I dozed off…
 
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Sistersamm:
I felt very strongly that the spirit said to me, “Stop asking me and start worshipping.” Yet, the word says clearly, ask and you shall recieve, knock and the door will be opened up to you. So I keep going in circles. Where am I in His will? I don’t know, but He does and in His wisdom I pray I’m in it.
Sistersamm
:blessyou:
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Sistersamm - the Holy Spirit has put almost the same thing in my heart recently! Mine was no more prayers for me - but more thanksgiving, worship and focus on others - then all things will follow.

Timidity - I do believe you are already on target with asking for God’s will be accepted and done in the lives of others.

Of course God can do anything He wants and affect any outcome to His liking - but He wants us to ask. I think specifics are fine too, followed by Thy will be done.
 
peace be with you!

prayer doesn’t change God or what He would otherwise do. instead, He inspires us with desires to pray for something in order to bring about His will through our cooperation in faith. that is the understanding of St. Therese who used to say “The more He wants to give, the more He makes us desire”. I think that is very true in intercessory prayer…He can inspire us to pray for a person so that our trust in Him can be used to help them.

on the other hand…i often feel that if i were to just ask for one grace (like the healing of one person) I almost feel as if I am asking God for almost nothing. after all, He can do anything and infinitely more than I could ever think to ask for or imagine. so why limit these desires??? trust that God can heal all people…trust that God can do great things, conversions and all, trust that God can empty Purgatory, trust that God can give you the grace to love Him like the saints do. He told St. Faustina that He is very pleased when we ask for much because He desires to give much, but He is saddened when we ask for little because it shows weak trust in His goodness. maybe these desires of yours to ask for more are His way of showing you to ask for more, because He wants to do these things.

i want to add that I have had this same struggle. now, i don’t directly do any intercessory prayer. since I am consecrated to Jesus through Mary, I no longer have the right to any of my prayers, works, etc. they belong to her. so, if someone I know needs prayer, I just entrust them to Her saying that She can do whatever she wants with them but to use the prayer for whoever is most in need. that way… i have offered up my prayer which is weak and in exchange they get Her prayer which is very powerful. since Our Lady won’t ask anything of Our Lord that isn’t His will, her prayer is certain to be answered. this way all petitions are granted perfectly according to the will of God. i find this to completely satisfy all my struggles with intercessory prayer scruples.
 
Amen
Annunicate…
It should be according to God’s plan not
ours…

God Bless!
 
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Sistersamm:
I have felt too that who are we to be asking God for anything? I mean, He certainly dosn’t need us, we need Him. So, where does that leave prayer? Lately, I’ve felt the spirit leading me to worship prayer. Instead of asking God to heal Mrs. Doe’s tumor I would pray in thanks for the works he has already done. That the doctors found it, for her conversion or whatever. I would pray though that God would open the eyes of my heart. But mostly, I’m just putting on worship music and standing in the presence in my prayer. I felt very strongly that the spirit said to me, “Stop asking me and start worshipping.” Yet, the word says clearly, ask and you shall recieve, knock and the door will be opened up to you. So I keep going in circles. Where am I in His will? I don’t know, but He does and in His wisdom I pray I’m in it.
Sistersamm
:blessyou:
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Hi Sistersamm!

We are always to take all our needs before the Lord. If we need healing we must ask for it. God never said He’d give us everything we ask for. But he did tell us to ask so that’s what we must do. I wonder if ever someone didn’t find healing just because no one asked.

In Christ,
Nancy 🙂
 
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jrabs:
Of course God can do anything He wants and affect any outcome to His liking - but He wants us to ask. I think specifics are fine too, followed by Thy will be done.
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That’s exactly right! Jesus prayed for something very specific in the Garden but followed it with “not my will but your be done”. That’s a great example to follow!

In Christ,
Nancy 🙂
 
Tim,

How about the idea that, in the final analysis, prayer isn’t about the object of our prayers but rather about us being in touch with our creator.

God doesn’t need to communicate with us to achieve His will. But we need to communicate with Him so that He can change our hearts.

By the way, I also have a problem with prayer: not praying enough or as well as I should. Perhaps we ought to pray for one another.

I’ll begin: God bless you as you struggle to be His child.

DB
 
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