My problems with lust

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Gift_from_God

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I’m 18 and I have many female friends. Most of them are extremely attractive and I sometimes have sexual thoughts regarding them. 😦 It doesn’t happen all the time, but it pops into my mind every now and then. Any idea what should I do? If you’re suggestion is confession, could you think of an alternative answer? (I plan on going to confession on Friday)
 
Someone on a different thread once said something to the effect of “A passing thought is temptation; entertaining that thought is sin.” Since you say it isn’t very often it doesn’t sound too serious, but never allow it when it pops up. A mighty fortress is our God; don’t try to fight temptation, instead fly from it to God’s protection and let the gate shut with a decisive boom against Satan. Remember, your friends are made in His likeness; to lust after them is in a sense to rape the image of God.
Of course there are mitigating factors to any sin, and you are at an age where it is likely your sex drive is all worked up. Just quash the thoughts when they come and you should be fine 👍

Pax!
 
When you feel the temptation of lust coming on it is a battle of the will to entertain that thought or not. A good way to do this is to simply say a short prayer like “thank you God for her beauty.”

It is about training your mind to the thoughts that you choose to have. As it was mentioned in the previous post, make it a passing thought, do not dwell on it. Appreciate your friends for the beauty, not what they are about sexually. Give them the respect that they deserve. A good way to spiritually prepare yourself is with a daily rosary. Pray for purity. Our Blessed Mother will hear and answer your prayers.
 
Scripture says to “cut it off!” :eek: (If it causes you to sin…)

I’m kidding! But, it sure is good to be catholic and not inclined toward literalism on THAT one, eh?

Seriously, this is just one aspect of the fact that you are a fallen human being who needs a Savior. Make peace with that fact and resist with the help of Grace, not just your own willpower. Identify the times of day when it happens most and insert prayer times there.
 
^ Yea as he said, just cut it off as scripture says :rolleyes:

Don’t worry about it so much, everyone does it, and the ones that claim not to are just liars anyways, and the ones that claim it’s not good but they struggle with it, are hypocrites by giving advice that they themselves have not overcome.

They are only thoughts, worrying about it will cause anxiety.
 
You are a standard issue, typical male teenager. Those thoughts popping into your mind are part of the natural sexuality that was given to us by God. I would worry if such thoughts didn’t occur! And I can vouch for the fact that those thoughts don’t quickly disappear when you reach any “magic” age.

As others have said, try not to dwell or “entertain” them. I don’t think they truly become “lust” unless and until you let them “control” you or you act on them in some inappropriate way. And please don’t feel guilty about something that is natural and God-given. Without those thoughts, the human race would not exist.

Finally, if you have that many female friends who are that attractive, you may want to develop some male friends to help you avoid frequent temptations.
 
Gift_from_God said:
I’m 18 and I have many female friends. Most of them are extremely attractive and I sometimes have sexual thoughts regarding them. 😦 It doesn’t happen all the time, but it pops into my mind every now and then. Any idea what should I do? If you’re suggestion is confession, could you think of an alternative answer? (I plan on going to confession on Friday)
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I don’t mean to sound flippant, but I hope you won’t head for the confessional every time a sexual thought pops into your head. If everyone did that, there would not be enough priests on the planet to hear all the confessions that would need to be heard.

A priest friend during the course of a homily once mentioned that we shouldn’t overly worry about temptations against chastity–because they would be sure to end just as soon as we had both feet in the grave.
 
GloriusMaximus said:
^ Yea as he said, just cut it off as scripture says :rolleyes:

Don’t worry about it so much, everyone does it, and the ones that claim not to are just liars anyways, and the ones that claim it’s not good but they struggle with it, are hypocrites by giving advice that they themselves have not overcome.

They are only thoughts, worrying about it will cause anxiety.
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Not to quibble, but you have a faulty definition of hypocrite. By your definition anyone who says that lying is wrong is a hypocrite, because we’ve all lied at some point.

A hypocrite is someone who SAYS he believes something is morally wrong, but actually doesn’t believe that in his heart. One is not a hypocrite if one publicly states a belief and a desire for sexual purity that one has not yet achieved. Only if you secretly don’t even want it.
 
Gift_from_God said:
I’m 18 and I have many female friends. Most of them are extremely attractive and I sometimes have sexual thoughts regarding them. 😦 It doesn’t happen all the time, but it pops into my mind every now and then. Any idea what should I do? If you’re suggestion is confession, could you think of an alternative answer? (I plan on going to confession on Friday)
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Brother, welcome to the club. This is one of my great struggles too.
Firstly, you need to know that your desires are natural. God made women beautiful.
Secondly, evaluate your thoughts. Do you love these ladies? And are your thoughts an extension of this love? (Maybe God is calling you to a relationship with one of them :))
To help you keep your thoughts properly ordered regarding these women, think of them as your sisters in Christ. How should we treat a daughter of God? Are you treating them like God’s daughters?

Most of all, pray for them! Pray for God to uphold them in chastity, and to help all the men surrounding them to love them and treat them as they deserve, as a true daughter of God.

Peace be with you
 
I have heard it said by a Priest that we have lustful thoughts 20 seconds after we die, They are normal, that is what makes the world go round, if man didn`t lust for women & vice versa, no one would ever get married . Sexuality is God given, if no one had a sex drive driven by lust, the population would die out. Sex & love are two different things, sex is born out of lust
 
I even have trouble during Mass! Many of the younger women and girls dress inapropriately for church and I find it difficult not to look. I try to remind myself that they are God’s children too - created in His image, but it is a struggle I deal with every day. It almost seems unnatural not to look.
 
syrinx2112 said:
I even have trouble during Mass! Many of the younger women and girls dress inapropriately for church and I find it difficult not to look. I try to remind myself that they are God’s children too - created in His image, but it is a struggle I deal with every day. It almost seems unnatural not to look.
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Head down, eyes closed, pray brother! I feel your pain!
 
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