My relationship with God needs help

[whatsthetruth]

I went to confession only last week.

I have been having to go to confession everyweek if not every other week during the past month and a half because I keep falling into mortal sin. (Lust,Masturbation,Porn)

I have never had a problem with porn…it all started once my girlfriend and I completely stopped having sex outside of marriage. This took us several months to get over (mainly her, I felt as if I had all the self control.) We love each other very much and when she finally realized that we were stopping for God, this made me very happy.

Now I feel like I have no self control,I feel the urge to lust after women at my workplace. It doesn’t help when they enjoy flirting and involve squeezing my arm or something stupid, I really hate it. I feel like the devil is attacking me and I try my best to tell myself that women are children of God.

I constantly start feeling spiritually weaker as the week goes on, my hearts starts to race and I feel as if I can’t concentrate on anything and I know what is about to happen so I lie down to try and fight the feeling but it always overcomes me.

This week I even went the whole week and today at church I didn’t have to go to confession, I was able to receive communion. I thought this would help me greatly but then this evening I found myself under attack and I committed another mortal sin. I am so angry/disappointed in myself and I don’t know what to do. I am tired of going to confessions for the same sins over and over.

My main problem is when I am in mortal sin I tend to take my sins far more serious and then when I confess my sins I feel as if I cant take my state of grace seriously, I feel as if I am taking confession for advantage and this can’t be good…

I need someone on here to get it through my head that I need to STOP and I need to STOP now, anything to get me out of this rut I have been in, please help…

 

[KathySFSD]

Are you trying anything beyond sheer will power? We can’t overcome these kinds of temptations without help. Are you praying for chastity and a pure heart? Is it possible to go to daily Mass at least once during the week? Stay away from television and unnecessary computer time and be actively engaged in something that keeps your brain and body busy.

God Bless,
Kathy

 

[Anthony_V]

Today’s Gospel reading was the Gospel according to St. Matthew, 13: 24-43

24 Another parable he put before them, saying, “The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a man who sowed good seed in his field;
25 but while men were sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away.
26 So when the plants came up and bore grain, then the weeds appeared also.
27 And the servants of the householder came and said to him, Sir, did you not sow good seed in your field? How then has it weeds?' 28 He said to them, An enemy has done this.’ The servants said to him, Then do you want us to go and gather them?' 29 But he said, No; lest in gathering the weeds you root up the wheat along with them.
30 Let both grow together until the harvest; and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, Gather the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn.’”
31 Another parable he put before them, saying, “The kingdom of heaven is like a grain of mustard seed which a man took and sowed in his field;
32 it is the smallest of all seeds, but when it has grown it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches.”
33 He told them another parable. “The kingdom of heaven is like leaven which a woman took and hid in three measures of flour, till it was all leavened.”
34 All this Jesus said to the crowds in parables; indeed he said nothing to them without a parable.
35 This was to fulfil what was spoken by the prophet: “I will open my mouth in parables, I will utter what has been hidden since the foundation of the world.”
36 Then he left the crowds and went into the house. And his disciples came to him, saying, “Explain to us the parable of the weeds of the field.”
37 He answered, "He who sows the good seed is the Son of man;
38 the field is the world, and the good seed means the sons of the kingdom; the weeds are the sons of the evil one,
39 and the enemy who sowed them is the devil; the harvest is the close of the age, and the reapers are angels.
40 Just as the weeds are gathered and burned with fire, so will it be at the close of the age.
41 The Son of man will send his angels, and they will gather out of his kingdom all causes of sin and all evildoers,
42 and throw them into the furnace of fire; there men will weep and gnash their teeth.
43 Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. He who has ears, let him hear.

Do not fear the weeds that have grown in your harvest. Instead, ask God for the patience to remove these weeds from your crop. God will make you to “shine like the sun in the kingdom,” but you must allow him the room to do so. Work against your addictions and attachments. Do not allow yourself to be tormented, but instead give thanks to our Lord who has given us the wonderful gifts of sexuality, celibacy, and chastity. When you are tempted, then flee; let God fight the battle. When you flee, go and glorify God for his victory. Do good works. Socialize more. Get out of the house. Sign up for charity activities at your parish!
God will fight the battle. We must allow ourselves to lose ourselves, so that we might decrease, and God may increase.

 

[followingtheway]

Pray, speak with God on this issue. Read the Bible, God can also speak to us in His word. Buy a rosary and recite it if you get chance. If you don’t know how, this is how…

newadvent.org/images/rosary.pdf

God bless :byzsoc:

David

 

[whatsthetruth]

I did waste my Sunday after church today…I told myself I was going to workout and I ended up playing on the computer instead.

That gospel reading is what was said at our mass today. It makes sense now that I can read it. & you’re right I need to work against my addictions and attachments, this is probably the main source of my problem…I’m not giving enough room for God to grow in me.

I also need to turn back to the rosary, I used to recite it daily but recently have been making excuses as to avoid it…thanks everyone.

 

[fbl9]

Today’s Gospel reading was the Gospel according to St. Matthew, 13: 24-43

Do not fear the weeds that have grown in your harvest. Instead, ask God for the patience to remove these weeds from your crop. God will make you to “shine like the sun in the kingdom,” but you must allow him the room to do so. Work against your addictions and attachments. Do not allow yourself to be tormented, but instead give thanks to our Lord who has given us the wonderful gifts of sexuality, celibacy, and chastity. When you are tempted, then flee; let God fight the battle. When you flee, go and glorify God for his victory. Do good works. Socialize more. Get out of the house. Sign up for charity activities at your parish!
God will fight the battle. We must allow ourselves to lose ourselves, so that we might decrease, and God may increase.

Reminds me of one of the prayers i used to say," O God help me to remove the weeds, that i have allowed to grow, in your field of myself." i should get back in my daily prayer routine but i keep making the same excuses not to.

I did waste my Sunday after church today…I told myself I was going to workout and I ended up playing on the computer instead.

That gospel reading is what was said at our mass today. It makes sense now that I can read it. & you’re right I need to work against my addictions and attachments, this is probably the main source of my problem…I’m not giving enough room for God to grow in me.

I also need to turn back to the rosary, I used to recite it daily but recently have been making excuses as to avoid it…thanks everyone.

That playing on the compu, yeah gets one almost every time.

by all means take up the rosary daily it’s the best defence.

 

[NFrancis]

I have offered up some prayers for you.

Here is my advice:
First, Pray!!! Even ask your guardian angel to protect you from the attacks of the evil one. I think you could also ask God to appoint you additional angels to help you in this struggle. I recommend that you pray the rosary daily and receive Holy Communion as frequently as you can. If you think that this is some kind of spirtitual attack maybe you could try the Chaplet of St. Michael the Archangel as well.
Secondly, if you if these sins occur at a certain time, dedicate that time to prayer. There may be other ways to prevent the occasion of sin as well.

I hope that helps.

 

[Binary]

I struggled with this for… over 10 years, and my experience was similar to yours. Over and over again I tried the same approach and failed: I tried to rely on my own willpower. I have a few practical bits of advice for you.

-First, recognize your flawed nature and love yourself anyway. God does, and it’s not like he’s wrong or foolish. I read something once to the effect that a soul in hell would be tormented by remembering his sins because they are an affront to his ego. When you recognize that you are fallen and sinful yet utterly lovable, you’ll stop feeling excessive shame, which can actually be self-destructive.

-Second (and this follows naturally from the first), pray for help all the time. 100 times a day if you have to. There will likely be times you will have to pray continuously. Our Lady may be an especially poignant reminder for you, and her petitions to our Lord may be especially efficacious in this matter. If you accept the first item, in your humility you will feel joy that you have so many sources of help, rather than feeling shame for being so weak that you need it.

-Third, pray and train for mental vigilance. We experience many temptations so subtle that we may not even realize that we’re entertaining them for awhile, particularly if we’re not used to guarding against them. There’s no harmless way to have lustful thoughts. Either they will break you, or they will add to your suffering as you pursue chastity. You might find that anything from pop songs to TV commercials to an immodestly dressed woman will wreak havoc with your mind. Practice fleeing these things as soon as you recognize them. Learn to avoid being in social situations where temptation exists and you can’t extricate yourself.

-Fourth, accept that you’re going to suffer for being chaste. Some of this is the pain of adjusting to a different way of living and thinking, and some of it will come from accidental or willful breaks in your vigilance. You’re probably going to have a few weeks of sleepless nights. At times you’re going to feel like you are on fire. These are the times that you are closest to Christ. Remember that even your suffering can become an avenue of grace when you offer it up to God. You can do this with either humble acceptance or by finding a healthy outlet for your energy (exercise is one way).

-Finally, NEVER get discouraged. I know that it feels hopeless sometimes. You are running towards Christ. You are running towards the man you want to be, for yourself, for God, and for the people you love. The world will throw every conceivable obstacle in your way. And probably some that will make you wonder if there isn’t an enemy working against you. As you go, you’ll observe patterns both in yourself and in the world, and learn to avoid what can be avoided. If an obstacle trips you up and you fall down into the muck, pick yourself up (you will have help here too) and keep right on running.

 

[Paxvobis]

I went to confession only last week.

I have been having to go to confession everyweek if not every other week during the past month and a half because I keep falling into mortal sin. (Lust,Masturbation,Porn)

I have never had a problem with porn…it all started once my girlfriend and I completely stopped having sex outside of marriage. This took us several months to get over (mainly her, I felt as if I had all the self control.) We love each other very much and when she finally realized that we were stopping for God, this made me very happy.

Now I feel like I have no self control,I feel the urge to lust after women at my workplace. It doesn’t help when they enjoy flirting and involve squeezing my arm or something stupid, I really hate it. I feel like the devil is attacking me and I try my best to tell myself that women are children of God.

I constantly start feeling spiritually weaker as the week goes on, my hearts starts to race and I feel as if I can’t concentrate on anything and I know what is about to happen so I lie down to try and fight the feeling but it always overcomes me.

This week I even went the whole week and today at church I didn’t have to go to confession, I was able to receive communion. I thought this would help me greatly but then this evening I found myself under attack and I committed another mortal sin. I am so angry/disappointed in myself and I don’t know what to do. I am tired of going to confessions for the same sins over and over.

My main problem is when I am in mortal sin I tend to take my sins far more serious and then when I confess my sins I feel as if I cant take my state of grace seriously, I feel as if I am taking confession for advantage and this can’t be good…

I need someone on here to get it through my head that I need to STOP and I need to STOP now, anything to get me out of this rut I have been in, please help…

It’ll be tough, but keep doing what your doing (going to confession, I mean).

I’ve been where you are. To get a little personal on this matter, I stopped doing things like that when one night, after committing that specific sin a number of times, I finally got it into my head why the Church says it’s wrong: the main reason being that it closes one in on themselves so they can satisfy their selfish desires. When one masturbates, they are concerned not about others or about God, but only about themselves. This is fundamentally disordered from the correct order of man, that being man responding to God and to God alone as in the Garden.

All I can say is pray. When I get temptations, I pray to Mary, St. Joseph (who was chaste his whole life being married to Mary, who was also chaste her whole life) and to St. Michael. God is worth more, and eternal life is worth more, than sin, the wages of which is eternal death.

I’ll pray for you. You must be pretty brave for confronting the problem rather than just ignoring it like so many other people do when confronted with this. Your life will be better if you tough it out (and of course, your afterlife will be too).

I hope you succeed to your eternal benefit.

 

[jessiepie]

I went to confession only last week.

I have been having to go to confession everyweek if not every other week during the past month and a half because I keep falling into mortal sin. (Lust,Masturbation,Porn)

I have never had a problem with porn…it all started once my girlfriend and I completely stopped having sex outside of marriage. This took us several months to get over (mainly her, I felt as if I had all the self control.) We love each other very much and when she finally realized that we were stopping for God, this made me very happy.

Now I feel like I have no self control,I feel the urge to lust after women at my workplace. It doesn’t help when they enjoy flirting and involve squeezing my arm or something stupid, I really hate it. I feel like the devil is attacking me and I try my best to tell myself that women are children of God.

I constantly start feeling spiritually weaker as the week goes on, my hearts starts to race and I feel as if I can’t concentrate on anything and I know what is about to happen so I lie down to try and fight the feeling but it always overcomes me.

This week I even went the whole week and today at church I didn’t have to go to confession, I was able to receive communion. I thought this would help me greatly but then this evening I found myself under attack and I committed another mortal sin. I am so angry/disappointed in myself and I don’t know what to do. I am tired of going to confessions for the same sins over and over.

My main problem is when I am in mortal sin I tend to take my sins far more serious and then when I confess my sins I feel as if I cant take my state of grace seriously, I feel as if I am taking confession for advantage and this can’t be good…

I need someone on here to get it through my head that I need to STOP and I need to STOP now, anything to get me out of this rut I have been in, please help…

I’d suggest you put filtering software on your computer. Also, remember why you and your girlfriend stopped having premarital sex. How do you think she would feel if she knew you were being unfaithful to her after she had gone through so many struggles to keep you relationship pure (you mentioned she was the one who had more trouble stopping premarital sex than you).

 

[crazzeto]

I fought similar issues before in my life, though I was typically single in those days. I would say this is one of those one day at at time kind of things. Pray for strength every day, and frequent the sacraments. All I can say is you can push past it…

 

[whatsthetruth]

Thank you all for your prayers and stories. I’m glad there is finally a site where other people really understand the truth in people’s lives.

It will be hard…but nothing is impossible with God. I had convinced myself that to receive communion would make not sinning something I could easily accomplish. In reality I blinded myself and let myself go.

You have all made me realize that this isn’t just my batte it is all of ours (in some way or another) and most importantly God’s will. I can’t do this by shear willpower (which I realize now… I am really powerless without God, prayer, and family) and it’s not even about me… for we are all God’s property. It’s all about our relationship with God and each other here on earth.

This will defenitaly be something to work on :hammering:

May God bless each and every one of you.

 

[crazzeto]

Thank you all for your prayers and stories. I’m glad there is finally a site where other people really understand the truth in people’s lives.

It will be hard…but nothing is impossible with God. I had convinced myself that to receive communion would make not sinning something I could easily accomplish. In reality I blinded myself and let myself go.

You have all made me realize that this isn’t just my batte it is all of ours (in some way or another) and most importantly God’s will. I can’t do this by shear willpower (which I realize now… I am really powerless without God, prayer, and family) and it’s not even about me… for we are all God’s property. It’s all about our relationship with God and each other here on earth.

This will defenitaly be something to work on :hammering:

May God bless each and every one of you.

God bless you, and may he be close to you in your struggles. It’s so sad that so many people out there blind them selves to how damaging and powerful these desires are. Know that you are very well off, because you can see, accept and desire to live the truth in Christ.