My Religious Vocation Crisis

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Fraz94

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Dear all, I have not used the site in a long time- I don´t even remember how to put a post on the normal forums nor can I seem to find how to do so! It is complicated…but I need share this with you for prayers so I have come here out of need for advice, guidance and prayers from fellow Catholics!

I am in a great crisis, I am a Postulant in the Order of The Most Holy Trinity, which is 800 years old and was founded by St. John de Matha for the redemption of captives. I am English, but I am here in Spain as a Postulant, the message and works of the order attracted me so much but now I am here, after nearly half a year or so I am in a deep crisis. I had to leave my job, my family, my country, my everything to join and now I am here I don´t feel happy- I will explain…
  1. I was sent to study in the Faculty of Religion in Granada, an extremely liberal faculty that the local Bishop has deemed a danger to Catholic teaching and has removed all Diocesan students from there, I could talk for hours about the abuses I have seen there and that are taught, discussed etc. for example, the majority of the students are all major supporters of women priests and even after hearing Pope Francis say that it is impossible they say he is wrong…The Pope is Wrong!..In a Catholic Faculty. Wearing the habit and religious garb is very much looked down on and laughed at, these are only an example of many things…any Catholic faithful to traditional teaching and doctrines would be shocked if I wrote all what I have been told and have heard- but the fact the Bishop has said this should be enough. My superior is the vice director and wants nothing to do with the Bishop nor does he seem to care.
  2. I am lost in the liturgy, I was brought up to believe the Mass is a Holy Sacrifice and that it is offered by the Priest. Here I see and have to attend Masses offered without vestments, where the Priest doesn´t use the official words of the Missal and says what he feels moved to say- I am sure he has a good intention but in my eyes this is awful. There are Masses celebrated by the Priests of the order around a table, everyone sitting around and given each a cup and a bit of bread, with fruit and everything else on the table- I refuse to attend such abominations and what shocks me is none of them seem to care and think I am a total conservative who cannot move with the times, that is not the problem here! I have been to Masses where children have been invited up to consecrate the bread and wine and I just can´t cope with it all. Again that is a brief explanation, there is worse.
  3. I don´t know what to do. I am sorry if that is not a clear explanation I have given but I really need prayers, I don´t feel I can continue to study and be formed in that environment which so contrary to everything “Catholic” I have been taught my whole life, I am shocked and have entered a deep crisis due to it. Nobody here understands me or why I have such a problem with these things, which I cannot understand! They have all been formed in this atmosphere and know no different- in Holy Catholic Spain it is shameful! The problem is now you only find the most liberal or the most conservatives here and I really really don´t know.
Please advice me, do I stay or do I go home. I just don´t know- I feel so called to the Priesthood and Religious Life, I waited so long to join this Order. The people of my home parish are all waiting for me to become a brother and can´t wait to see me in the habit, some have been very kind and paid for my travels and studies- I used to work officially in the Parish. I know it is up to me to make a decision but I need to ask some Catholics who actually understand the meaning of the word- it´s awful but I don´t even feel like a Catholic here, I am sorry but that is how I am made to feel. The only thing keeping me going is the belief in the Blessed Sacrament, who is present in all Masses and all Tabernacles.

Thanks for your time and please respond and pray for me. I need help from Catholics who understand these problems.

Lots of love and prayers to all,

Fraz
 
If it is against everything that you stand for, perhaps it is best to leave. Can you not join a different order?
 
Have you discussed these abuses with the superiors of the order? What do they say?

If you believe the faculty and the superiors of the order to be liberal and not faithful orthodox Catholics, then, of course, you should leave.
 
Is not this Faculty a Jesuit one? Why have you not voiced your concerns with your superiors? This surely is the first recourse to anyone seeking to eventually take a permanent vow of obedience.
These instances of concern, if real, are no doubt extremely concerning. However your first recourse is not to some Catholic web page but your spiritual director within your order. I find this whole scenario difficult to come to grips with. I’m sorry.
 
First and foremost, I am praying for you. Then I would strongly urge you to take steps in removing yourself from these circumstances. You will not be an effective spiritual leader if you do not learn in a proper and holy Catholic disciplined atmosphere. You have stated many valid reasons to transfer to another facility. Be true to yourself and what you know is right. Do not be swayed into a thinking that is not your own and filled with inaccuracies. Others who support you in prayer and funding will also support you in this decision. You need not regret but continue to persevere in your studies in a more suitable place. God bless you for your desire to uphold the truths and teachings of our Holy Father.
 
Sorry to hear about this. I continue to pray for your vocation and to fulfill God’s will.
 
You are most certainly in the wrong place. Please don’t despair, but ask to leave and see if you can’t be assigned a different religious community. You may need to come home first, but that is fine.

I am going to suggest you contact the Benedictines in Colorado. The Abby of St. Walburga is here and I used to visit them when they lived in Boulder. They are very traditional, wear the habit and are in line with the teachings of the Church. You could also look into the Poor Clares in Mission, British Columbia. They are cloistered and very traditional.

Don’t give up, you just need to find the place that meets your ideas of what the religious life should be about, and certainly an order that is obedient to the teachings of the Church. You may sent me a private message if you like. I will pray for you.

God needs you someplace else.
 
Read Genesis chapters 37-50 the story of Joseph.

Sometimes we make mistakes by thinking something is what it isn’t.

Sometimes God uses less than ideal circumstances to form us for his work.

Sometimes God sends someone who recognizes the brokeness to change it.

Good luck in your journey.
 
Cricket2 said:
You are most certainly in the wrong place. Please don’t despair, but ask to leave and see if you can’t be assigned a different religious community. You may need to come home first, but that is fine.

I am going to suggest you contact the Benedictines in Colorado. The Abby of St. Walburga is here and I used to visit them when they lived in Boulder. They are very traditional, wear the habit and are in line with the teachings of the Church. You could also look into the Poor Clares in Mission, British Columbia. They are cloistered and very traditional.

Don’t give up, you just need to find the place that meets your ideas of what the religious life should be about, and certainly an order that is obedient to the teachings of the Church. You may sent me a private message if you like. I will pray for you.

God needs you someplace else.
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Sorry, added note to my own post: Please be careful how much you share with the current community you are with. Simply explain that you have discerned you are not in the right place for your calling from God. As soon as you get home contact your archdiocese religious formation staff and tell them you are looking for something different than this and why.
 
Excellent advice Cricket2, but I believe this OP is a male. Do you know of any traditional communities for him you could suggest? FSSP?
 
jaimeleglise said:
Excellent advice Cricket2, but I believe this OP is a male. Do you know of any traditional communities for him you could suggest? FSSP?
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Oops! Sorry. :o He could try to contact the Westminster Abby in Mission British Columbia. It is near the Poor Clare Monistary I mentioned and is Benedictine. It is beautiful there and certainly worth the check. He might also contact the Archdiocese of Denver, as we have a very healthy Seminary program here.
 
Oh Jesus, our good shepherd, bless all our parishes with numerous priests, deacons, men and women in religious life, consecrated laity and missionaries, according to the needs of the entire world, which you love and wish to save. We especially entrust our community to you; grant us the spirit of the first Christians, so that we may be a cenacle of prayer, in loving acceptance of the Holy Spirit and his gifts.

Assist our pastors and all who live a consecrated life. Guide the steps of those who have responded generously to your call and are preparing to receive holy orders or to profess the evangelical counsels.

Look with love on so many well disposed young people and call them to follow you. Help them to understand that in you alone can they attain to complete fulfillment. To this end we call on the powerful intercession of Mary, mother and model of all vocations. We beseech you to sustain our faith with the certainty that the Father will grant what you have commanded us to ask. Amen
 
Your environment is wrong , not you …Your convictions are real…, politically correct secularism is the cancer of the faith… Your zeal and desire for righteousness is what is causing the oppression… Maybe your indignation is your calling. Seek a different order to continue your studies… There seems to be a misunderstanding… Mother Church is about saving us from the world as opposed to being glued into it
My prayers are with you
 
Holy Michael the Archangel defend us in the day of battle.
Be our safeguard against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray,
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host,
by the Power of God,
thrust down to hell satan and all the wicked spirits,
who wander through the world for the ruin of souls.
Amen.

Remember, O most loving Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession and was left forsaken. Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you I come, before you I stand, a sorrowful sinner. Despise not my words, O Mother of the Word, but in your mercy, hear and answer me.
Amen
 
Thanks, Cricket2. I hope things go better for you soon. I will remember you at Mass tonight.
 
PaulfromIowa said:
Have you discussed these abuses with the superiors of the order? What do they say?

If you believe the faculty and the superiors of the order to be liberal and not faithful orthodox Catholics, then, of course, you should leave.
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Agree. Discuss this with the superiors. Praying for you.
 
djmason said:
Your environment is wrong , not you …Your convictions are real…, politically correct secularism is the cancer of the faith… Your zeal and desire for righteousness is what is causing the oppression… Maybe your indignation is your calling. Seek a different order to continue your studies… There seems to be a misunderstanding… Mother Church is about saving us from the world as opposed to being glued into it
My prayers are with you
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Really like your answer. Secularism is one of the cancer’s of our Faith.
 
I would agree with those who are encouraging to seek another place. This is most definately not for any good Catholic sad to say. I will pray for you! Do not be discouraged as there are many better places for you.

mlz
 
Holy Michael the Archangel defend us in the day of battle.
Be our safeguard against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray,
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host,
by the Power of God,
thrust down to hell satan and all the wicked spirits,
who wander through the world for the ruin of souls.
Amen.

Remember, O most loving Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession and was left forsaken. Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you I come, before you I stand, a sorrowful sinner. Despise not my words, O Mother of the Word, but in your mercy, hear and answer me.
Amen
 
Thanks to everyone for their kind and very helpful responses. Of course I had spoken to my Spiritual advisors and Confessor for those who were suggesting I did not. I asked my Superior if I could speak to him privately and he did not accept my point of view and was very unkind, I won’t put what he said to me- I have never been treated or spoken to so cruelly by anyone. I have left the order and come home. I am now going to rest for a while and then see what the Lord has in store.

Thank you all, continue to pray for me please.
 
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