Please pray for me. I taught 10 years in another state and moved with my wife to raise our new and only baby around family(and hopefully in a more Godly culture). Now, my wife has separated from me, I have no friends or family to lean on, I’m teaching in an area for which I have a temporary 1-year credential and no experience, I’m taking a hard exam on Monday to be officially credentialed but am not doing well and do not expect to have my contract renewed for next year even if I pass. I’m facing possible unemployment and a cross town move to cheaper rent or a cross-country move, either of which would impact my ability to be with my son. I keep praying but nothing seems to improve. All I can think about is Job and how things kept getting worse and worse for him. My wife and I are in marriage counseling, but she doesn’t seem to want me any more. I’m going to my in-laws for my son’s first Thanksgiving, which is going to be awkward. I don’t know what God has in store for me but I just don’t feel like I can handle any more. I had such high hopes and expected to find the best, but this move has turned into a disaster. I don’t feel like my son needs me with all his extended family around, so I have prayed for God to just take me home. ** I don’t know if that’s a sin or not.**
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Sorry to hear it’s been so hard for you.
I don´t think that’s a sin to wish our suffering would come to an end, even pray for it. I think it’s normal, when having serious relationship problems, to even feel like wanting to die, like one can’t go on.
Praying for death sounds like depression. Would you consider going to an individual counselor, just for you, and ask about anti-depressants, also to get you “over the hump”, as it were. So, go back to a counselor and ask him/her to check the severity of your depression. Meds might be one other thing to help, in additional to individual counseling.
You’re having marital problems, so at least with a counselor, you will have SOMONE to talk your problems out with, focus on you, be empathic, support, and neutral.
It’s so much easier to deal with life when we aren’t quite as depressed. When we are depressed, everything seems difficult, even just getting out of bed in the morning, AND it can even be contagious to those around us. People won’t want to be around us as much, because we just simply aren’t as much fun like that.
I am glad you have been trying marital counseling. Although, sounds like it’s a rough time.
I was married twice, and in both my marriages, I moved near my spouse, away from my supports, towards his. So, it was easy, both times around, to also be triangulated…have my (now ex-) spouse and his friends gang up against me. I was new to the area, and it often takes a little time to settle in, make friends.
That’s rough, too. She sounds like she has the “home court” advantage.
Anyway, divorce is also extremely rough…custody issues, lawyers’ fees, court costs, paying for 2 separate residences…alimony, child support. Yet, people do it all the time, not sure how.
It’s a shame it has to be this way.
Let’s hope that things will turn themselves around, that this is temporary.
Each time I divorced, I basically lost everything, struggled with debt. The last time, I was worried it even might go into bankruptcy, but thank God, that didn’t happen. I had even spoken to a friend who, through her ex-husband, had BEEN through bankruptcy and all the rest. She assured me it was possible to survive, even that. So, I found that encouraging, actually, though I wasn’t thrilled with the idea.
As I say, things ironed themselves out enough that we didn’t hit bankruptcy, but I caught the brunt of it. I paid the lawyer…court costs, move, and more. It took me a time to dig myself out of that hole, but I actually did…as my friend did, too, who went through bankruptcy, and her boyfriend, who also went through bankruptcy.
I was fortunate that some family and friends, long distance though they were, also helped me through that. I probably would have made it through, on my own, but it would have taken longer, been even tougher.
Anything you can do to get some emotional support would be good…individual counseling, one thing…support groups…church… Try not to face this alone.
You may not have people close to you, geographically, but can you get online and at least e-mail some friends and family so they can be supportive during this, even if it’s only long distance?
Oh…and there are other resources such as Retrovaille…seems like a Catholic retreat of some kind for people having marital difficulties. I can’t recommend it from experience, but I don’t know what you have to lose at this point in the game.
I don’t know if another kind of Marriage Encounter or other retreat could also be helpful.
Good luck, and God speed!
… Bless you 
