My shameful sins

[callmeclemens]

To start I was born Catholic, as a child and teenager I loved my faith, Altar served, attended daily mass, and even deeply reflected on seminary after High school. However, sometime in my late teens and very early twenties, I became disheartened in my faith, I sought spiritual closeness, and acceptance from a community, something I could not find in my local churches. What I began to accept grew, and eventually I met a strange spiritual group of Wicca and Pagan people. I’d rather not go into detail about what happened, but I took part in various rituals, celebrated holidays, and even dabbled in some “mystical” and even what some would consider occult activities.

However two years ago, I realized despite the fact I had built this whole “spiritual” world around me I felt empty and unfulfilled. I decided I wanted to rediscover my Catholic faith, starting from the ground up. I fell in love all over again, and with time and maturity, and a good perspective of scriptural study for the first time in a long time I felt right, and at home. It took a great deal of courage to go to confession two years ago, and before a priest and God confess that I had not only put other gods before him, but I denied Christ, it hurt, it still hurts thought after confession I felt wonderful, it was as if I could feel the grace of God envelope me.

Some things that had occurred to me during those times still haunt my thoughts, and at my weakest moments, I think about them, and it still hurts, I also feel as if my confessions we’re not enough, perhaps there is more I could or should have said.

I’m not being disrespectful to people who walk that path, I’m just looking for answers, and advice for people who have experienced something the same.

 

[IgnatianPhilo]

Sounds like your on the right path, realising the pain of your sins. Now you need to realise the grace of Jesus Christ.

 

[Isaiah45_9]

We are great sinners.

He Is a Greater Savior.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Try to get a private confession meeting with a Priest. Ask him to pray with you as you denounce all the things you have done and ask for Christ to break all the bonds and spiritual influences over your life.

Soul of Christ, sanctify me
Body of Christ, save me
Blood of Christ, inebriate me
Water from Christ’s side, wash me
Passion of Christ, strengthen me
O good Jesus, hear me
Within Thy wounds hide me
Suffer me not to be separated from Thee
From the malicious enemy defend me
In the hour of my death call me
And bid me come unto Thee
That I may praise Thee with Thy saints
and with Thy angels
Forever and ever
Amen

Peace,

 

[Latinitas]

It is very admirable that you feel guilt for sins. That is not a bad thing at all. Remember, however, God has forgiven them. They are as far as the east is from the west as far as He is concerned. Do not look back, look forward to the life that God has prepared for you.

May God bless you abundantly, and may God grant you faith, hope and charity.

Benedicat Deus
Latinitas

 

[Joseph73]

We are all shameful sinners. Take solace in the fact that you recognized it before it was too late!

 

[Loving_disciple]

Your confession was enough. That fact that you still feel shame is a good thing because is means you are truly sorry for what you have done. This is good rejoice in Christ

 

[malou1]

When you made the confession that was more that enough that your sins were forgiven already through the priest which is His representative. Don’t hesitate and be confused because if you do so that would be called “scrupulosity” which means:

Signs of Scrupulosity

  1.   Fear you are committing sin while doing things even devout people don't find sinful.

  2.   Frequently changing your mind for trivial reasons (or no reasons at all) about whether something is sinful; one minute you think something is not sinful and the next minute you think it is sinful.

  3.   Constant worry or anxiety about sin, without being able to figure out a reason for the worry.

  4.   Constant worry about your confessions, even though the priest has told you that there was nothing wrong with them.

  5.   Stubbornness with the priest in confession — thinking that you are right about something being sinful and that he is wrong — which leads you to go to a lot of different priests for confession, without really heeding the advice or instructions you receive from any of them.

  6.   Repeatedly asking whether or not an action is sinful, even though the priest has told you the answer to the question before.

  7.   Repeatedly confessing as sins — "just in case" — things which the priest has told you are not sins.

Some Helps

  1.   Think of scruples as a disease you have to get rid of. Resolve to get rid of them with the help of the priest.

  2.   Ask God to help you get rid of scruples. Say a special prayer for this intention every day.

  3.   Hate scruples and act against them. Don't think about things which give you scruples.

  4.   Look upon God as supremely good and as a loving Father.

  5.   Say your Morning Offering every day and offer all you do during that day in advance to God.

  6.   In your daily prayers, thank God for all the wonderful things He has given you: family, friends, temporal blessings, etc. Thank Him for being able to get to Mass and Holy Communion. Thank Him for being able to go to confession where He shows His mercy and love for us in a special way.

  7.   Avoid idleness. When alone and plagued by scruples, distract yourself by doing something which will otherwise occupy your mind.

  8.   Let the priest do the worrying for you for the time being.

  9.   Remember that scrupulosity can be overcome with patience and prayer.

  10. Memorize the following rules:

a. I must hate my scruples.

b. I am permitted to do anything I see devout people do.

c. I have not committed a mortal sin unless there was no doubt that it was a mortal sin.

d. I am not obliged to confess anything unless there is no doubt that it was a mortal sin.

e. I must accept these rules and follow the advice the priest gives me.

Going to Confession

  1.   Examine you conscience beforehand, but for only five minutes.

  2.   Tell the priest you have a problem with scrupulosity.

  3.   Do not mention a past sin, unless you are

a. Absolutely sure it was a mortal sin and

b. Absolutely sure you never confessed it.

  4.   Always trust the priest.

  5.   Never confess a doubtful sin.

  6.   If the priest tells you that something you have thought, said or done is not a sin, believe him and don't worry about it.

  7.   Confess only the species (kind) and number of mortal sins. If you don't know the exact number, give only an approximate number.

  8.   If you have no mortal sins to confess, confess one or two types of venial sins you have committed.

  9.   Accept the priest's judgment about whether or not something is sinful.

  10. Do what the priest tells you to do. You must obey the priest.

Going to Communion

   1.  Just having a doubt about whether or not you committed a mortal sin should not keep you away from Holy Communion. Doubts are not sins.

  2.   Unless you are absolutely sure you are in the state of mortal sin, make an Act of Contrition and go to Communion.

Finally

  Never become discouraged. God loves you. He is infinitely good and infinitely merciful towards you. He wants you to be happy forever with Him in heaven, and he left the sacraments of Penance and the Holy Eucharist to help you to get to heaven. With His help, you can overcome the scruples which trouble you.

  Go in peace.