My sister and I are fighting about buying a house

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Rozellelily

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I would appreciate if someone would be willing to say some prayers for my sister and my relationship.
Short story is we are adults renting together.
My sister really wants to own a house and we have been looking a while.
At the same time,while I understand how much it means to my sister to own a house,I feel she has become excessive in her feelings about it and has in a way ‘made it her God/idol’ and often acts stressed about it,only talks about it solely and fights with me about it.

In my view,nothing material should matter that much that it causes disharmony in your relationship/s.

For example today she made an offer on a house that had heaps of other interest from others/other offers.
It is in a bit desirable area and I could see she was being anxious why the real estate guy hadnt called her back.
I was concerned she might get her hopes up too much and then feel very let down if he calls & her offer wasn’t accepted.
So I said to her -matter of factly and not to be negative-it’s very possible that he won’t accept our offer because it is quite low (for the market).
My sister then got really mad at me told me I should have said something positive & I told her it wasn’t fair she was attacking me just for being objectively realistic.

I would understand if I was constantly negative towards her/it but I’m not.I was just trying to remain realistic.

The clearly rubbed her the wrong way because she has so much emotion invested in it.

A different real estate guy rang her that moment and her voice instantly changed from angry to ‘friendly and sweet’ and that made me mad because I feel why she act this way just with me and not others.

This sort of ‘fight’ is happening too regular for my liking and she always acts stressed.

I do try to be supportive to her ‘owning a home dream’ but at the same time I am a bit starting to resent it too because of that it means more to my sister than loving relationships.

Could anyone please pray that my sister to value harmonious and kind relationships over house ownership and that wee have a mutually Kind,loving and respectful relationship and for her to have a bit more perspective/not value it so much that it becomes everything .
Of course if a person makes it matter that much/their everything then they will have emotional mood swings/roller coaster and affect their relationships because in my mind it’s unbalanced/excessive.

Thankyou
 
Prayer for Family

Heavenly Father,
Please shine Your light upon this family. Give them
the strength to overcome the difficulties that they are
dealing with now. Protect them against all problems
they may encounter in the future. O Lord, please bring
them together as they are meant to be. May the love
that binds them grow stronger as they fulfill the destiny
You have laid out for them.

Grant this family forgiveness for any sins they have
committed. May they also forgive one another. We ask
this through Christ Our Lord, amen.

✝️
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†

PRAYER IN A TIME OF TRIBULATION

O Lord, hear my cry pouring out from a troubled heart. The sorrow which clutches at my soul has driven me to You my protector, my True Friend in time of need. You know, my God, all my failings, my faults and my sins as well as the torment gripping my soul. My greatest sorrow should be for my disregard of Your holy commandments in the past, and I sincerely hope that you will grant me the grace of true contrition. O my Savior, hide not Your Face from me in this tribulation, let the light of Your Countenance shine upon me that I may be illuminated by Its love. If it be Your will, lighten this burden from me, yet should it be a means of my salvation, help me, help me O Lord, to carry this cross, for alone I can do nothing. Radiate Your love upon Your prodigal child O Lord, this beggar who knocks at Your door seeking shelter in Your Sacred Heart; this once proud earthen vessel made of clay seeks You, O Christ, and in a newly found faith, firmly believes that you will receive him in Your limitless Love and Mercy. Amen.

Jesus, I trust in You!
 
Maybe your sister should consider buying on her own, and then renting a room to you so you can still continue to live together if that is what you want to do.

It isn’t unusual for close family to get too much up in eachother’s business. This is where boundaries come into importance. Buying a house is usually a high-stakes business deal, and it sounds as if your sister is being impacted by the stress of it all. This can be a healthy thing. It keeps us from making foolish business decisions, sometimes, because we are on our toes with regards to how much is at stake.

Honestly, if I were in your shoes I would extricate myself from all of this. Tell your sister you support her in whatever she is doing (buying a house, afterall, is a pretty mainstream, normal activity), but that you aren’t able to partner with her at this time.

Be nice, and this, too, shall pass. Your sister could probably use some positive (albeit non-financial) support from you at this time.
 
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Offering up prayers to our Loving Heavenly Father for peace between you and your sister, through Jesus Christ our Lord.

✞ In the name of the Father,
And of the Son,
And of the Holy Spirit.
Amen
 
Thanks Qwertygirl,

I have considered the suggestion about renting however the problem is that our parents are giving part of the money and want it to be both our house.
Personally,I don’t want/like to accept money from my parents as I don’t like to be in that position of accepting from anyone,especially elderly parents, and would rather just save on my own/go without but this is what my parents and my sister want.

When I have suggested to my parents that the house is/can be more for my sister (i.e.:not me) they wouldn’t accept this.

I’ve tried to be very supportive about it but sometimes I just had enough as it’s all my sister now thinks/talks about.
The stress she feels doesn’t seem so much about making a right decision but more about how badly she wants to own a house.
So instead of the process being fun or exciting it’s more obsessive (imo) and she feels too affected if they don’t accept an offer or if we don’t find one this week etc and fights with me about it.
She doesn’t just feel disappointed and then we keep looking,rather it’s “I have to have one now”.
Your right that wanting to buy a house is pretty mainstream for a lot of people but is it healthy/Christian to want something material that much that it causes damage to your close relationships?

Isn’t it better to prioritize your relationships or am I looking at it wrong?
I wish she would put as much time/focus on our sister relationship as she does about a house.
 
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Hail Mary
Full of grace
The Lord is with Thee.
Blessed art Thou amongst women,
and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb,
Jesus
Holy Mary
Mother of God,
Pray for us sinners,
Now and at the hour of death, Amen
 
Rozellelily said:
Isn’t it better to prioritize your relationships or am I looking at it wrong?
Click to expand...
I think you are correct in this. It is why I always put relationships above money, and why I suggested you set a boundary that will exclude you from this homebuying process.

It is concerning that you feel “obligated” to accept money from your parents under these circumstances. It sounds like they aren’t just giving you a no-strings attached gift, but rather they are trying to manipulate you into purchasing a home with your sister and setting up a situation where you will be required to live with her. Is that possible? If so, it may be that they are the ones with whom you should consider setting boundaries. If the situation is going to cost you your relationship with your sister, is it worth it to you, to please your parents?

I am not a religious person, so I won’t speak to the question of if your sister’s attitude is Christian, or not. I have several sisters, though, whom I love dearly. We are echother’s best friends in this world, but I would never enter into a home co-ownership situation with any of them because it would be too risky with regards to the amount of stress and strain it would put on the relationship.

I hope the best for you and that you are able to work these things out with your sister. Sisters are so special.
 
I probably should have explained it better.My parents are only wanting this because my sister and I are already renting together and neither of us is married.
It’s not so much that they are ‘forcing’ us to buy a house together but more so that because my sister asked them already herself for financial help to buy a house, they want in fairness to give the part money to both of us/us both to have a “house security”.
They are probably thinking this way because they are elderly.

I think you’re right and advice is wise though that if it continues like this I will just say to her/them that she can buy the house on her own and I will just rent from her.
 
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Eternal Father, I offer you the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your Dearly Beloved Son, Our Lord, Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.

For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on Rozellelily, her sister, her intention and have mercy on the whole world. (x10)

I did pray a decade of my daily Divine Mercy Chaplet for your intention.
 
Live and learn…
Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be, Fatima, AMEN!
 
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