My Situation

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ineedofmercy

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I know this may seem over dramatic but please try to understand

I’m in mortal sin and have bunch to confess

I want to go to confession but fear my parents reaction to me asking(I just know they will get nosy) I recently had the courage to bring it up but still see no way of them taking me

I would go myself but I would get in big trouble

I need to refuse communion but feel if I try to I will cause a scene and be forced to anyways and have a dreadful talk at home

My family neglects confession probably out of thinking there is no time for if

I wish I could go myself but I’m just 15 and currently not allowed too

I want to be old enough to take on my faith struggles myself but also fear losing my precious last years of childhood and love of being a kid

In the future I think I will just be a lonely person who helps the poor and try to make it to heaven

Please pray I can get to confession soon and be free of my addiction
This is the worst time in my life and while it transformed me its hard to take
If you have advice I’m all ears
 
Our God is a loving god, you are his child.

Trust him that he will guide you. He knows your fears and your sins and most importantly your heart.

Ask him to help you get to confession.

Put all your worries into the hands of Mary and Jesus and trust.

An opportunity will arise where you can confess without having to be afraid.

Until then be patient and rest in the pasture of our good shepherd.

He watches every one of his sheep and trust that he will lift us from the brambles the moment we are in danger.

Love, live, enjoy your life with the love of Christ in your heart.

Let fear and worry fall aside and know, like the birds of the air, God will provide for you.

Even human parents love their children more than themselves, how much more does our heavenly father love us?

Pray and ask for guidance, watch for signs and follow them.

Prayer never fails
Jay
 
I’ve followed some of your other posts. I don’t remember if i ever posted on them or not. Did your sister not end up going like you thought she was in some other post?

If you are really concerned on your family not taking you, why not get together with a buddy for a sleepover or just to hang out. Maybe his family is more open to confession and you don’t need to tell him why, but see if you can get your buddy to pull some strings for you so-to-speak. Or try catching your priest after Mass some Sunday and he may be able to help you find a way there.

How have you been doing? I’ve been in the same boat as well and i think you posted on one of my threads. How have you been holding up lately?

If you want we can private message back and forth. im about done with school and will have free time on my hands. Im still struggling as well even though i havent actual done anything the temptations still arise. But I would be more than happy to help you out. We can help each other out and supporteach other… I’m also pretty good at coming up with plans if you need one. 😉
 
Not sure how old you are, but it also sounds like you are not exactly guilty do to your situation. You should make every effort to attend confession etc, but as you are clearly with all intent to confess you are not in the usual non confessed state:
Code of Canon Law states,
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A person who is conscious of grave sin is not to . . . receive the body of the Lord without previous sacramental confession unless there is a grave reason and there is no opportunity to confess; in this case the person is to remember the obligation to make an act of perfect contrition which includes the resolution of confessing as soon as possible. (CIC 916)
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Obviously having an inch doesn’t mean to take a mile, but your circumstances seem to qualify for now that you can take communion with no sin added 🙂
 
LethalMouse said:
Not sure how old you are, but it also sounds like you are not exactly guilty do to your situation. You should make every effort to attend confession etc, but as you are clearly with all intent to confess you are not in the usual non confessed state:

Obviously having an inch doesn’t mean to take a mile, but your circumstances seem to qualify for now that you can take communion with no sin added 🙂
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Well if I qualify or not I still want to go to confession

I think even if I ask it will be hassle to make them go and they will ask why I care so much

I would ask a priest after mass but my parents usually want to leave

I’m with this new religious homeschooling group/club so maybe there i will find an opportunity

Thank you
 
LethalMouse said:
your circumstances seem to qualify for now that you can take communion with no sin added 🙂
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Oh, boy. Please do not encourage minors who think they are in mortal sin to receive Holy Communion. Especially when it’s clear, based on your questions about the poster’s age, that you haven’t read their post very closely.

OP, I would really encourage you to disregard this advice. I’m pretty sure “grave reasons” in this case involve things like imminent death.

Please consult with someone like Don Ruggero. There’s canon lawyers that post on these forums perhaps someone else could point you in the direction of. Please do not simply follow the opinion of those of us who are utterly unqualified to give you such serious advice.
 
ineedofmercy said:
I want to be old enough to take on my faith struggles myself but also fear losing my precious last years of childhood and love of being a kid
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Reading your post, I would say you are already more mature than the average adult, so IMO you are doing a very good job at taking on your faith struggles. Right now, it seems like you need to listen to your parents. As adults, it is the same garbage different bin. IE listening to bosses, spouses, friends etc just to keep the peace. That is taking on fiath struggles

As for being a kid. You will always be a child of God and you need to grow up but you can be a kid at heart 😃
 
You can go up for communion and just not take it - get a blessing instead. Maybe the parents won’t even notice, if they do… They can’t force you to take it.

I agree that if you’re in actual mortal sin, you should not take communion if you can help it, until you’ve made it to confession. Perhaps telling your parents that you don’t feel comfortable taking communion until you confess could make them more likely to take you or allow you.

It seems odd to me that weekly mass parents wouldn’t allow their child access to a perfectly common and normal sacrament. Going monthly is, I suppose, designed to take some of the awkward out of it… If you go every month no matter what, no one can assume you’re going because you did anything particularly bad. It’s simply a pious habit.
 
I don’t understand why parents think they must know why their kid is going to confession. It is a private matter; even the priest knows he is not to tell parents what their kid has been doing.

Say the Rosary and the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. You will be able then to sort things out and find a solution.
 
Another thing: why would you get into trouble if you went yourself?

Not to disrespect your parents, but most kids have some autonomy as they get older. That is, unless they have “helicopter parents” always hovering around.

My daughter worked when she was 15. She was a self-starter from the word “go”. If I told her she couldn’t go to confession if she wanted to, she would have done it anyway. (Sounds kind of funny, disobeying me because she wants to confess) but that never happened.

They will have to let it go when you are off to college unless they want to hang around your classes, checking what you are doing. In like respect, they may want to go with you on your honeymoon when you get married. That is not as far-fetched as it sounds.
 
Exsultet said:
Oh, boy. Please do not encourage minors who think they are in mortal sin to receive Holy Communion. Especially when it’s clear, based on your questions about the poster’s age, that you haven’t read their post very closely.

OP, I would really encourage you to disregard this advice. I’m pretty sure “grave reasons” in this case involve things like imminent death.

Please consult with someone like Don Ruggero. There’s canon lawyers that post on these forums perhaps someone else could point you in the direction of. Please do not simply follow the opinion of those of us who are utterly unqualified to give you such serious advice.
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I stated cannon law

I also gave the disclaimer to not abuse such

And I do sense it could be more his fear of embarassment than tyrannical irrational parents… but the ins omand outs of his inability to go to confession are between him and God and NOT me. If he choses to engage in erroneous behavior without the real basis he claims… then that is on him
 
ineedofmercy said:
Well if I qualify or not I still want to go to confession

I think even if I ask it will be hassle to make them go and they will ask why I care so much

Thank you
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If it is simply mild “hassle” then you probably don’t qualify…

You are aware of bearing a cross and all that? Some “hassle” sounds a light cross. And pehaps even a chance to “lead by example” to some loved ones o.O
 
Arizona_Fat_Gir said:
I don’t understand why parents think they must know why their kid is going to confession. It is a private matter; even the priest knows he is not to tell parents what their kid has been doing.

Say the Rosary and the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. You will be able then to sort things out and find a solution.
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I wish they were that way
Once I just asked when we were going and my mom said “why do you need to confess something” with a smug face trying to get something out of me
I will say those and I hope they help

Thank you
 
LethalMouse said:
If it is simply mild “hassle” then you probably don’t qualify…

You are aware of bearing a cross and all that? Some “hassle” sounds a light cross. And pehaps even a chance to “lead by example” to some loved ones o.O
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I try to but the hassle is getting them to take me
The constant questioning and interrogation of why I want to go so bad will drive me nuts and make me feel depressed
They don’t get it
I know I may have to do it but It will ruin my happiness for a long time and change my relationship with my parents
It gets me so angry not being allowed to just do it with no hassle or anything

I shouldn’t be questioned for wanting to go confession but they still do it
 
Arizona_Fat_Gir said:
Another thing: why would you get into trouble if you went yourself?

Not to disrespect your parents, but most kids have some autonomy as they get older. That is, unless they have “helicopter parents” always hovering around.

My daughter worked when she was 15. She was a self-starter from the word “go”. If I told her she couldn’t go to confession if she wanted to, she would have done it anyway. (Sounds kind of funny, disobeying me because she wants to confess) but that never happened.

They will have to let it go when you are off to college unless they want to hang around your classes, checking what you are doing. In like respect, they may want to go with you on your honeymoon when you get married. That is not as far-fetched as it sounds.
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It’s more my mom then my dad my dad honestly I think trusts me to let me ride my bike to church
I want to work and do things without being on their leash
 
Anglewannabe said:
Reading your post, I would say you are already more mature than the average adult, so IMO you are doing a very good job at taking on your faith struggles. Right now, it seems like you need to listen to your parents. As adults, it is the same garbage different bin. IE listening to bosses, spouses, friends etc just to keep the peace. That is taking on fiath struggles

As for being a kid. You will always be a child of God and you need to grow up but you can be a kid at heart 😃
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I don’t know about more mature but definently more serious about my religion
It not that I don’t listen to them it’s just I will get questioned and embarrassed for wanting to go to confession I know it seems like I’m just a wimp and this is no big deal
But for me hate that kinda stuff
It will make me cry for sure and put me in a depressed state with having to worry about them after it but I still may have to do it

I can also be kid at heart everyone kind of is

I thought about just maybe skipping Mass so I have reason to go
But I think I will just have to ask to go with a good excuse
Thank you
 
ineedofmercy said:
I try to but the hassle is getting them to take me
The constant questioning and interrogation of why I want to go so bad will drive me nuts and make me feel depressed
They don’t get it
I know I may have to do it but It will ruin my happiness for a long time and change my relationship with my parents
It gets me so angry not being allowed to just do it with no hassle or anything

I shouldn’t be questioned for wanting to go confession but they still do it
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This is mostly a “me” problem and not a true problem… if a bit of annoying intereogation is this destructive to your mental state perhaps there is more you need to work on on that regard.

Also, do you live super rural? Can you not bike to church in lieu of a store or w/e?

Do you have 10-20$ ? Can you take a cab? Etc… seems there are many possible options up to and including dealing with a few questions from the parents, and non seem to be giant crosses to bare…
 
ineedofmercy said:
I don’t know about more mature but definently more serious about my religion
It not that I don’t listen to them it’s just I will get questioned and embarrassed for wanting to go to confession I know it seems like I’m just a wimp and this is no big deal
But for me hate that kinda stuff
It will make me cry for sure and put me in a depressed state with having to worry about them after it but I still may have to do it

I can also be kid at heart everyone kind of is

I thought about just maybe skipping Mass so I have reason to go
But I think I will just have to ask to go with a good excuse
Thank you
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To piggyback on my other post about a personal issue… you should literally not be embarrassed. You are doing what is GOOD and RIGHT. So by that alone you should feel more empowered than embarrassed.
 
LethalMouse said:
This is mostly a “me” problem and not a true problem… if a bit of annoying intereogation is this destructive to your mental state perhaps there is more you need to work on on that regard.

Also, do you live super rural? Can you not bike to church in lieu of a store or w/e?

Do you have 10-20$ ? Can you take a cab? Etc… seems there are many possible options up to and including dealing with a few questions from the parents, and non seem to be giant crosses to bare…
Click to expand...
I can take my bike but my parents don’t allow me
It’s not a big problem and sure doesn’t seem like even a problem at all to you guys and just be being a wuss
I’m probably being over dramatic but it’s really hard for me
My family isn’t as serious about confession as I am so I really need to work to get them to take me or let me go
I’ve planned ways of asking and think I will do it

I will probably make a thread after I do

Please pray it works out
 
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