My Situation

[ineedofmercy]

To piggyback on my other post about a personal issue… you should literally not be embarrassed. You are doing what is GOOD and RIGHT. So by that alone you should feel more empowered than embarrassed.

I would but my family would treat like I’m going through a phase instead of understanding that I realize what I need to do

 

[Faith1960]

If I’m not mistaken, I think the OP has transportation issues.

I would suggest s/he tell his/her parent it’s personal, between him/ her and the priest, but some parents won’t go for that and may demand to know what’s going on.
I’m 55 now, but when I was a kid I think my parents were so overjoyed when I went that they never asked.

I do recall asking my mom for suggestions of things to confess when I was in third grade or so, because I never did much of anything wrong.

 

[roseofshannon]

You appear to be a young man and I honestly don’t think a lot of moms realize the kinds of battles with sin most young men deal with. (Although many young women struggle as well.)

So it may be best to discuss some of your struggles with your Dad. (Hopefully he can remember how it was for him at your age and sympathize better.)

Tell him you want to confront your sins before they become hard core addictions.

Ask him to help you get to confession more.

Ask him to support you when you need to stay in the pew during communion by praying for you and to tell Mom and the other kids to pray for you and not ask questions about your personal struggles.

Also, I highly, highly recommend that you make an appointment with a priest to receive the Sacrament of Healing for your addiction. I was anointed and it took away these awful, sinful dreams that kept afflicting me no matter what. Poof! gone

It’s a much underused and highly powerful sacrament!

You are a good soul and Jesus loves you more than life itself!

 

[roseofshannon]

One other thing you could ask your Dad:

On days you need to stay in the pew, you can ask him if you can sit in the back so you don’t feel so conspicuous.

It’s funny though, when I have stayed in the pew it felt as if everyone was staring at me!

But I am usually looking down or straight ahead and never really notice others who are remaining in the pew.

Also, there are many reasons to stay in the pew: didn’t fast before Mass, received Communion at a wedding or funeral already…etc. Some folks aren’t Catholic but are just attending Mass.

Staying in the pew is really a good source of humility and penance though which will hopefully help to avoid those sins in the future.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

Oh, boy. Please do not encourage minors who think they are in mortal sin to receive Holy Communion. Especially when it’s clear, based on your questions about the poster’s age, that you haven’t read their post very closely.

OP, I would really encourage you to disregard this advice. I’m pretty sure “grave reasons” in this case involve things like imminent death.

Please consult with someone like Don Ruggero. There’s canon lawyers that post on these forums perhaps someone else could point you in the direction of. Please do not simply follow the opinion of those of us who are utterly unqualified to give you such serious advice.

Canon 916 assuredly does not involve imminent death. It means exactly what it says, as was quoted, and certainly can apply in this instance.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

Also, I highly, highly recommend that you make an appointment with a priest to receive the Sacrament of Healing for your addiction. I was anointed and it took away these awful, sinful dreams that kept afflicting me no matter what. Poof! gone

It’s a much underused and highly powerful sacrament!

Please do not counsel this. It is not appropriate. The norm for The Sacrament of the Sick is well expressed in the Code of Canon Law:
Can. 1004 §1. The anointing of the sick can be administered to a member of the faithful who, having reached the use of reason, begins to be in danger due to sickness or old age.
It must involve a sickness and a sickness that places the person being anointed in a danger that is medical in nature.

A young person with a serious or a chronic health condition or one undergoing surgery would be a subject for receiving this sacrament.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

This is mostly a “me” problem and not a true problem… if a bit of annoying intereogation is this destructive to your mental state perhaps there is more you need to work on on that regard.

Also, do you live super rural? Can you not bike to church in lieu of a store or w/e?

Do you have 10-20$ ? Can you take a cab? Etc… seems there are many possible options up to and including dealing with a few questions from the parents, and non seem to be giant crosses to bare…

The fact of the matter is, no one should be encouraging this child to disobey his parents, if they are saying not to leave the house. Least of all, in an anonymous internet forum.

It is the parents’ prerogative to delineate when their child can be out and about – and if they are not.

 

[roseofshannon]

Please do not counsel this. It is not appropriate. The norm for The Sacrament of the Sick is well expressed in the Code of Canon Law:
Can. 1004 §1. The anointing of the sick can be administered to a member of the faithful who, having reached the use of reason, begins to be in danger due to sickness or old age.
It must involve a sickness and a sickness that places the person being anointed in a danger that is medical in nature.

A young person with a serious or a chronic health condition or one undergoing surgery would be a subject for receiving this sacrament.

I’m sorry, Father. Thank you for sharing that with me.

In my case it was used for a serious medical issue and the spiritual benefits were a bonus; but I think my priest was under the impression it could be used for healing addictions.

I won’t counsel that use anymore, however.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

I know this may seem over dramatic but please try to understand

I’m in mortal sin and have bunch to confess

I want to go to confession but fear my parents reaction to me asking(I just know they will get nosy) I recently had the courage to bring it up but still see no way of them taking me

I would go myself but I would get in big trouble

I need to refuse communion but feel if I try to I will cause a scene and be forced to anyways and have a dreadful talk at home

My family neglects confession probably out of thinking there is no time for if

I wish I could go myself but I’m just 15 and currently not allowed too

I want to be old enough to take on my faith struggles myself but also fear losing my precious last years of childhood and love of being a kid

In the future I think I will just be a lonely person who helps the poor and try to make it to heaven

Please pray I can get to confession soon and be free of my addiction
This is the worst time in my life and while it transformed me its hard to take
If you have advice I’m all ears

As a priest, there is a practical suggestion I can offer which may be spiritually beneficial to you and help you in your circumstance at the same time.

In 1917, the Blessed Virgin is supposed to have appeared to three shepherd children outside of a village in Portugal called Fatima. It is a lovely series of six messages that might be of interest to you anyway. The children are remarkable and two of the three have been beatified. The apparitions have been approved, even by the Holy See, and popes have gone on pilgrimage to this site.

After this series of apparitions, Our Lady returned with a request to accomplish a devotion called the “First Saturdays”…this involved receiving Holy Communion, praying the rosary, 15 minutes of meditation – and going to confession. She said that confession could be done eight days before or eight days after the first Saturday of the month. The communion could be done at the Saturday evening anticipated Mass for Sunday, too.

You can read more about this here:
wafusa.org/the-story-of-fatima/
wafusa.org/first-saturday-devotion/

(This is published by the World Apostolate of Fatima, which we used to call the Blue Army. It is wholly approved by the Church and this one is trustworthy. There are many websites of which that cannot be said and one needs to be careful in that regard, sadly. This one, however, is reliable.)

So, you could tell your parents that you would like to practice this devotion requested by the Blessed Virgin. And, as it happens, one aspect is that you need to receive the sacrament of penance monthly. As prescribed, it is an act of devotion that is accomplished with the intention of making reparation. It does not mean only when you have mortal sin…the devotion prescribes that the sacrament is to be received each month even if there is only venial sin. You can honestly say you are simply going because the devotion demands it – and you don’t have to volunteer anything more about your conscience.

Once in confession, you can speak to the priest about your situation and the use of canon 916, already quoted in this thread, for any time between the monthly confessions when you need to invoke it. There are many places in the world where people would be glad to be able to access the sacrament of penance as often as once per month.

I think, actually, I can appreciate where your parents are coming from and what may be two of their concerns. I did not become a priest yesterday…I’ve had a lot of experience over these decades. The reality is that your desire to receive the sacrament, as I have understood it from your posts, is not a reason that should cause them alarm or anxiety. So that issue needs to assuaged rather than fanned.

I am sorry you are having this difficulty. I will keep you in my prayers.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

I’m sorry, Father. Thank you for sharing that with me.

In my case it was used for a serious medical issue and the spiritual benefits were a bonus; but I think my priest was under the impression it could be used for healing addictions.

I won’t counsel that use anymore, however.

It can happen that the sacrament could be used if there is a severe reaction to a chemical dependence…or if such an outcome is a reasonably predicted outcome. I am not questioning the decision of the priest who chose to administer it to you. Truth be told, I am considered overly gracious on the issue of the anointing of the sick because of how I interpret the code. The code says “in danger” and not “in danger of death”; those phrases are not essentially synonymous.

Also, it must be said that the Eastern Catholics have a different praxis regarding this sacrament from the Occidental Church.

Subjects of the oriental code of canon law should always comply with those canons. This is no less true of the marked differences concerning the theology and praxis between the Sacrament of Marriage which we have in the Western Church and the Mystery of Crowning which is the correspondent in the Eastern Churches.

 

[LethalMouse]

The fact of the matter is, no one should be encouraging this child to disobey his parents, if they are saying not to leave the house. Least of all, in an anonymous internet forum.

It is the parents’ prerogative to delineate when their child can be out and about – and if they are not.

My suggestions were not to break out, I was assuming he can occasionally go out like a nirmal kid to play or whatever… they were just that, options within that context.

For when I was a kid for example, my parish church would be on the way to the mall w/e. And it was my understanding he wasn’t persay forbidden from confession but in fear of interrogation.