My son and the Sacrament of Marriage

  • Thread starter Thread starter KLM1
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
K

KLM1

Guest
Should I encourage and or force my son to marry in the Catholic Church? He was raised Catholic, educated Catholic and lived out his life as a catholic til college! He is 29 yrs old and does not attend mass unless with us. His fiancée was also raised and education Catholic!
 
Last edited:
You cannot force marriage or it will be invalid.

As a Catholic, in all those years of education, they both learned that they are required to marry according to the law of the Church. He can choose to marry validly that way or choose to reject his faith and enter an invalid marriage.

What is up to you is to decide now if you will be part of a marriage outside of the Church.
 
First, I would encourage you to make novenas asking for a proper resolution.

I would also seek the counsel of a Priest who knows you and your son.

None of us here know what your son’s true objections are so we cannot give more specific advice. And the Priest’s counsel is worth a lot more. As well as prayer.
 
Do you know why your son is no longer practicing? Have you talked with him (and LISTENED!) about why this is no longer important to him? A Catholic marriage will only follow his Catholic faith.
 
What a question. How could you force him to do anything? You should certainly encourage him to marry in the Church. That is the only way that they could validly marry.
 
You can’t force him. But is he aware of the Church’s position on marriage outside the Church without dispensation?
 
If they were both raised Catholic perhaps you could approach it in a way such as “Have you spoken to your parish about getting married” or something like that. If you can direct them towards getting married in the church they will go through pre-martial counseling which I know has directed a lot of people back to the faith. Regardless Pre-martial counseling increases the likelihood for a successful marriage and would be good regardless. The church offers it for free 😉
 
Another way, you might sign both you and him up for a month of www.formed.org

Tell him you watched the first “Beloved” series on there (it is for pre-marriage, the second is on living marriage). That might trigger a spark in him.
 
I think it’s fine to “encourage” him to marry in the Church.
You cannot force anybody to marry in the Church, so just encourage him gently and pray for him.
“Have you spoken to a priest about your marriage?” is a good way to go about it.

Even if he goes against your wishes, it’s possible your gentle encouragement and prayers will bear fruit in his life at a later time.

I know this is tough on parents. Remember St. Monica. Love your son, gently encourage, and PRAY.
God bless.
 
At 29 you can’t force him to do anything. However, you can guide him the best you can. Praying for them is always a good idea as well.
 
I would “force” him simply by reminding him that as a baptized catholic, he is bound by cannon law.
 
My suggestion is to simply accede to his wishes. Support him and his chosen and be gracious and kind to them both. Yes you can bring up the Catholic conventional wisdom but don’t force anyone.
The reason I say this is if they are planning to have children, it is often then that adults/parents again expose themselves to the Catholic faith, by realizing that children need some foundation. I’ve seen many parents who don’t practice themselves, bring their young children to CCD and Mass to give the child a grounding in a faith. Much of the reason is that the child needs exposure now and then can make up their own minds when they are 18. And this exposure of little ones is a perfect opportunity to do some faith formation work with the parents that they just might have been deprived of when the were kids.
I guess I’m saying, save the “fight” for a better/future time. Live today, fight tomorrow"
My $.02
 
Last edited:
If you are going to force him to marry in the Catholic Church, are you going to have a real shotgun wedding?

🍿 🍿 🍿
 
Yes, five cannons minimum. They must be fired at dawn on the day of the wedding.

It’s canon law ;). Cannon law is a different thing entirely…
 
While there is really no harm in marrying in the Church, will marrying outside the Church mean that God does not recognize the marriage, or only that the Church as an institution doesn’t? So consulting only a priest in the Catholic Church will certainly have a biased viewpoint.
 
Either you accept the Catholic Church’s God-given power to “bind and to loose” or you don’t… it’s not about bias. The Catholic Church indeed claims the authority to define requirements for a valid marriage.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top