My son doesn't believe in god?

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David_Chou

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Yesterday, my 18 year old son told me that he doesn’t believe in god anymore. I raised him to be a good Christian but ever since he got one of those “atheist” girlfriends, he no longer has the time to go to Sunday church and eventually quit being christian all together. I know that he is old enough to make his own decisions, but I can’t help worry what will become of his life. I am extremely distressed because we had an arguement a couple of hours ago and he burned the family bible in front of my eyes and called god a (I’ll be modest with he language here) “no good piece of **** that sits up there and laughs at other peoples misfortune”. I pray for him everyday and hope he believes again.
 
Yesterday, my 18 year old son told me that he doesn’t believe in god anymore. I raised him to be a good Christian but ever since he got one of those “atheist” girlfriends, he no longer has the time to go to Sunday church and eventually quit being christian all together. I know that he is old enough to make his own decisions, but I can’t help worry what will become of his life. I am extremely distressed because we had an arguement a couple of hours ago and he burned the family bible in front of my eyes and called god a (I’ll be modest with he language here) “no good piece of **** that sits up there and laughs at other peoples misfortune”. I pray for him everyday and hope he believes again.
Sounds like he is more angry than in disbelief. Faith, Hope and Love.
 
and he burned the family bible in front of my eyes and called god a (I’ll be modest with he language here)
I think you should tell your son that he crossed the red line here, and he should repent to GOD and fully apologies to all his family members or else he should leave the house so that he will not spoil his brothers and sisters.

And from your side, keep praying for him that the LORD opens his eyes one day and return him to the way of GOD.
 
I think you should tell your son that he crossed the red line here, and he should repent to GOD and fully apologies to all his family members or else he should leave the house so that he will not spoil his brothers and sisters.

And from your side, keep praying for him that the LORD opens his eyes one day and return him to the way of GOD.
I already did and he left to go live at his girlfriend’s house (she’s in college). I keep on praying for his belief. Thank you for all your support!
 
Wow. I would have been very angry had my child (I don’t have children) burned my family Bible in front of me and said such stuff. I am not sure but I probably would have banned him from my house.
 
David,
I don’t know if this will help, but my 16 year grandson announced to us that he is an atheist. The way he said it was, “I know that you and grandma are going to be mad at me,
but I am an atheist.” I was so shocked I didn’t know what to say. It was everything I could do to contain myself, but said nothing.

Later I thought deeply about it and also discussed it with my wife and decided not to make a big thing to him out of it. We still insist he go to church on Sunday, and he does.
His dad deserted him as an infant, and his mother takes little interest in his wellbeing, so his parental images are bad. How can he love a Father in heaven who he dosen’t see when for the most part he dosen’t see any good love coming from parents who he does see. We pray for him and ask our understanding Father in Heaven to forgive. I pray that some good person(angel) will come into his life that will open his eyes.

I’ve tried and tried to get him to wear the miraculous medal, but he won’t. I know I would win that battle if he would do that. But he keeps losing them, which means he just plain won’t wear it.

Maybe later your boy will grow in maturity and understand what it is about with the help of the Holy Spirit. I will remember him in my prayers.
 
The parable of the prodigal son comes to mind here. Sometimes there is very little that you can do when people’s hearts are hardened but to pray that he will one day be turned to repentance. Aside from praying, I’m not sure if there is anything that you can do.
 
What makes me irritated by these proclamations is they have never sat down and studied their faith. For 17 years, or whatever, they are christian then one morning they wake up and proclaim definitively there is no God.

How can people do that? I blame it on laziness and the lack of finding truth. I am no saint and I struggle with the existence of God, prayer, and my Catholic faith but I refuse to shut the door on it and instead seek truth. Pray, read, being on this forum offering advice or comments has been helpful for me.

I read a book by Stroebl on the existence of God, The Case for the Creator, and the one thing that struck me in this book is that Science says you can not have nothing then something. The big bang, there was nothing and then bam. Who made the “bam” God.

I also read an atheist author, Hitchens and his Biography of God? (not sure if that is it) and it did not push me to be an atheist but did point out that the church leaders are human and make mistakes and thats just us.

I would ask your son if he honestly gave God the chance to show him his existence or did he just think with his hips and not his mind? I was 18 once and I can honestly say I was searching at that time as well. I had thought about the Mormons, JW’s, etc. and thankfully I settled on a Pius V group that taught me my faith and the spirit eventually lead me back to Rome. The sad thing is I choose that group because I could learn Latin and go to church at the same time.

Patience with your son, prayer, and ask him to give God a fair shake.

Mike
 
What makes me irritated by these proclamations is they have never sat down and studied their faith. For 17 years, or whatever, they are christian then one morning they wake up and proclaim definitively there is no God.
I have an old friend who recently did exactly this. I would ask him hard questions about things like human existence, intelligence, the finite nature of the universe and he would just say “I don’t know why things are the way they are, they just are, that’s all. I believe the universe came from nothing.” He said that he was convinced that his experiences with God were purely psychological and based on group think and therefore God could not exist. People who think like this aren’t open to challenges.
 
Prayer and love is the best thing.

If you decide too you could always try giving him a book to read like handbook of catholic apologetics that goes through and explains the existence of God using rational logic. And tell him you want to know what his perspective is on some of theories or chapters, then see how he goes trying to explain that God doesnt exist with the arguments presented 🙂 The book was a suggestion but really you could use any book chapter or DVD from that explains reasons for God, and ask his opinion. Just make sure you have read it and understand the arguments.

Stay strong, I have been there as an 18 year old and I came back without ever having parents who even went to Church. There is always hope 🙂
 
I read a book by Stroebl on the existence of God, The Case for the Creator, and the one thing that struck me in this book is that Science says you can not have nothing then something. The big bang, there was nothing and then bam. Who made the “bam” God.
Except of course that science has never said there was nothing before the big bang. That is a christian thing.
 
Yesterday, my 18 year old son told me that he doesn’t believe in god anymore. I raised him to be a good Christian but ever since he got one of those “atheist” girlfriends, he no longer has the time to go to Sunday church and eventually quit being christian all together. I know that he is old enough to make his own decisions, but I can’t help worry what will become of his life. I am extremely distressed because we had an argument a couple of hours ago and he burned the family bible in front of my eyes and called god a (I’ll be modest with he language here) “no good piece of **** that sits up there and laughs at other peoples misfortune”. I pray for him everyday and hope he believes again.
I am saddened to hear this.
As others have said, prayer is the best thing. That and Love.

He is young and in rebellion. What he rejects I would also reject. That being a God who laughs at others misfortunes. Fortunately that is not what God is so he has not rejected the true God, in fact, he has not yet met Him personally and in his heart.

If I may suggest, give it a little time, get past the coming holidays without argument. Invite him home for family celebration but allow it on his terms - no discussion of faith issues. Do let him know that though it upset you at the time, you forgive him for burning the bible.
Then after the first of the year, see if you can sit down with him and listen as he tells you how and why he came to the conclusion that there is no God. Tell him that you are concerned that you failed to properly teach him and that you wish to know what the problems and issues are so that you might learn more yourself - that you and he might learn more together.
Try not to debate the matter just yet - just listen and maybe take notes so that you and he are clear on the issues.
Then you can take this information here or to your pastor for advice and reading material suggestions etc. Perhaps then you can have conversations with your son and maybe even with his girlfriend - calmly and charitably planting seeds of greater understanding tha can sprout, grow and blossom later.

Good Luck.

Peace
James
 
Praying for your son. I believe with your faith and the many people reading this post and now praying for you that his mind and heart will be converted back to God in due time. Once he realizes the emptiness of being out of the light of God and into the darkness of athiesm he will come back to loving God. You can see right here on this Catholic site that athiest are reading post and posting themselves because even if they don’t realize, their souls really long to know and believe in God but their finite minds and hardened hearts won’t allow them to believe without some type of “evidence” they seek.

God Bless you and your family 🙂
 
Just don’t give up praying for Him, and let the Lord love him through you.
 
Thinking of my own story, this track that he has taken is not really that surprising. He’s trying to find his own path. I think someone else mentioned this, but it sounds like he’s acting from anger and his reason has exited stage left. Also, the girlfriend will have a very large influence on him at this stage.

Really, I don’t think it’s up to you at this point…the Holy Spirit has your back, and his. So, I humbly suggest just being there as an example. As he matures and reason starts to take hold, I’m almost certain he’ll find his way back.
 
Yesterday, my 18 year old son told me that he doesn’t believe in god anymore. I raised him to be a good Christian but ever since he got one of those “atheist” girlfriends, he no longer has the time to go to Sunday church and eventually quit being christian all together. I know that he is old enough to make his own decisions, but I can’t help worry what will become of his life. I am extremely distressed because we had an arguement a couple of hours ago and he burned the family bible in front of my eyes and called god a (I’ll be modest with he language here) “no good piece of **** that sits up there and laughs at other peoples misfortune”. I pray for him everyday and hope he believes again.
Hi David: Both of my sons were atheists when they were teenagers. We raised them both Catholic because my wife is Catholic. We did everything we thought we were supposed to do. Now that they are off to college, both of them are very spiritual people who believe in God. I think that it can be a healthy phase that people go through. The things that your son is saying are a good inroad to purposeful conversation about why he feels the way he does. A person who says “no good piece of **** that sits up there and laughs at other peoples misfortune” is a person who has empathy and care for the suffering of others. Those are the makings of a person who will one day be a man of principle and insight. He is taking note of the suffering around him and he is questioning God. This is a spiritual person. He will come out the other side of this with a deeper faith. This is a great time time to discuss the things he says without being judgmental or pushing an agenda. Let him say it, and help him to reason it out. Don’t push answers, but help him find them through his own intellect. Remember that there have been great saints who have questioned God and railed at Him for the suffering of His creations. Mother Teresa of Calcutta struggled with atheism, or so I am told. Look at what your son is saying. Never let this be a wedge between you. If you are telling him to believe in a God of unconditional love, then show him some unconditional love. If you toss that boy out, you’ll have so much undoing to fix and ground to recover. And over what? Because he has questions?

Your friend
Sufjon
 
If I had a son who burned a Bible before me, I’d backhand him across his mouth because that is simply treacherous. Then I would try to have a nice one on one conversation with him. Any allowance would be cut, computer taken away, phone destroyed, et cetera. I’ll be damned if a son of mine accepts such a barbaric attitude toward the Faith! I’m a young man (mid-late teens) and I don’t think I’ll ever have kids any way.

I’ll most certainly pray for him and for you as well.

~ Pius :knight1:
 
Yesterday, my 18 year old son told me that he doesn’t believe in god anymore. I raised him to be a good Christian but ever since he got one of those “atheist” girlfriends, he no longer has the time to go to Sunday church and eventually quit being christian all together. I know that he is old enough to make his own decisions, but I can’t help worry what will become of his life. I am extremely distressed because we had an arguement a couple of hours ago and he burned the family bible in front of my eyes <—that’s much more like a tantrum than it is atheism and called god a (I’ll be modest with he language here) “no good piece of **** that sits up there and laughs at other peoples misfortune”.<—That’s definitely not atheism I pray for him everyday and hope he believes again.
Being 18 might make us adult in a legal sense but not in an actual sense. Many of us weren’t very grown up at all at age 18, myself, my son, and maybe your son also.

Burning the Bible, especially when it doesn’t even belong to him in the first place is especially bad, but I would chalk it up to teenage drama. He wants to be an especially loud, offensive, angry atheist and there’s probably some teenage rebellion involved also. I would guess that before he went into this fit, he already knew that he had a place to stay at his girlfriends home. Atheists often like to draw lots of attention from Christians to their atheism, and the younger the person I would guess the more attention they want, especially from parents. Most atheist don’t have a very well founded faith, they aren’t very good at not believing in God. This may well be the case with your son too. It sounds like a lot of it might be based on looking good in the eyes of his girlfriend.

Calling God names and insulting Him is certainly not something an atheist would do since an atheist would believe there is no God to insult in the first place. Lots of so called atheists are very conflicted this way.

He’s being rebellious and hyper-dramatic. Many kids who are raised Christian only go along with it until they become independent of their parents and then go into churchless years. A girlfriend can be a very powerful thing in a young, hormone-driven guys life. Another girl could have led him into a different church. In the future another girl could lead him back to your church. Most of us don’t end up with the same girl we’re with at age 18 so the odds are, this relationship won’t last.

The less dark side: Most atheists outgrow their atheism and return to Church. When that happens, they often end up as the most admirable Christians in the congregation.

What will your sons options be if they breakup in a few months?

Keep praying…
 
If I had a son who burned a Bible before me, I’d backhand him across his mouth because that is simply treacherous. Then I would try to have a nice one on one conversation with him. Any allowance would be cut, computer taken away, phone destroyed, et cetera. I’ll be damned if a son of mine accepts such a barbaric attitude toward the Faith! I’m a young man (mid-late teens) and I don’t think I’ll ever have kids any way.

I’ll most certainly pray for him and for you as well.

~ Pius :knight1:
I’m glad that you do not have children…

Tell me, just how do you plan on having this, “nice one on one conversation with him”, after you just, “backhand(ed) him across his mouth”?

True burning a bible is a horrific act, but it is better to remember that it is a book…Something easily replaced. Your child, and your relationship is not so easy to fix…
I know this for a fact because I had similar attitudes to yours when I DID have a child and as a result, my son and I barely ever talk…and it breaks my heart because I know it is my fault.

Hopefully as you mature, you will learn to moderate your views…

Peace
James
 
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