OK. I am a very traditional Catholic come from a large Catholic family and these days am a single dad due to Divorce. I simply not sure what to do with my eldest son who told me last Christmas day that he is Gay. From enquiries I’ve made so far some say I have to change him and others say let him be what he is he is born that way just let him be. Then i have the issue of him bringing his boyfriend over and him wanting his boyfriend to sleepover. At the same time I’m trying to make a Catholic home the best way I can and have this moral dilema going on of you know prayer and him refusing to join in him getting very upset when I watch EWTN and the topic of homosexuality is quite often talked about on various programs. I try to keep around the home crucifixes and holy cards holy pictures and holy water. Yet somehow I have to accept his homosexual life and way. What does one do?
If your son had come home and told you he was an alcoholic, would you feel all the guilt about him being an alcoholic? What about if he had aids?
It doesn’t matter if homosexual feelings and inclinations are genetic or a social disease. They are immoral, period. If it could somehow be proven that a gene inclined someone to be homosexual (stop using the word “gay”, it is a co-opted term) would that somehow make such activity ok? Would you assume God made him that way? No, of course not. Many people are born with genetic disorders that are not God’s doing. We try and treat all disorders and help the child to lead a good, Catholic life. Having homosexual intentions and feelings may be the cross that he has to bear in this life. Surrendering to this temptation would be no different than an alcoholic getting drunk because “that is how God made him.” The same logic can be used for anything that is immoral. Remember it is homosexual ACTS that are sinful. Feelings and inclinations of a homosexual nature may or may not be sinful, just like heterosexual feelings and inclinations may be.
The catechism teaches that temptations come from the devil. We can choose to entertain them or we can work to remove them by keeping busy, etc. It is when we surrender our will and indulge in these sinful thoughts and acts that we actually do sin. Temptation is never sinful as long as we don’t act on these temptations.
Sometimes, especially with children, we have to present truth to them in order for them to learn. This can be very emotionally hard at times. Children are emulators of their parents and learn much from both our actions and our words. If you tell him his actions are wrong, but then allow him to come to your home with his “boyfriend” then your actions are not backing up your words.
Remember that your first duty is to get yourself to heaven, then to get your spouse and children to heaven. When an adult makes an immoral decision, then there is little that you can do, but be a good example, be a good Catholic and always offer to help them with their struggle. NEVER support the immoral action in example or word.
