My soul feels empty

[SPBlitz]

But recently I’ve started to feel numb in the soul and impatient because of howblong I’ve waited while still keeping my faith. As a cause of that, I started committing sins I had done regularly before I had come closer to my faith, some of them mortal. And what’s worse is I commit those sins sometimes without any feeling of guilt probably because I feel as if theres no point in trying anymore.

This is God moving you to the next step of the program. It’s a hard, but important, step. Before you had your emotions to prod you to do God’s will and avoid sin. Now, those emotions have been removed. Why? Because God doesn’t want you to do good just because you happen to be feeling happy. He wants you to always do good, regardless of your emotions. And the only way to do that is to remove the emotional incentive. This is a very hard and very jarring step in your faith life. You have to follow Gods will from your will alone, which is no easy task. There will be stumbles. There will be times where it seems to you that no progress has been made. There may even be times where you are 99% sure that you can’t do it, and should just give up. At this point, the main thing you have to focus on is perseverance. Perseverance through dryness and stumbles. To always have the will to follow Gods teachings, no matter how many times you fail.

CS Lewis summarizes this well in the Screwtape Letters:
“He will set them off with communications of His presence which, though faint, seem great to them, with emotional sweetness, and easy conquest over temptation. But He never allows this state of affairs to last long. Sooner or later He withdraws, if not in fact, at least from their conscious experience, all those supports and incentives. He leaves the creature to stand up on its own legs—to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish. It is during such trough periods, much more than during the peak periods, that it is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be. Hence the prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please Him best.“

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

What you describe in your post sounds pretty normal.

You are in a relationship with God. All relationships have seasons of ebb and flow. Sometimes you feel every close to the other, sometimes more distant. But just like in your other relationships, you relate on a day by day basis.

What happened yesterday is finished. Tomorrow hasn’t happened yet, so is still “imaginary” (as in an image that exists only in your mind).
But you have today in which to pray and read your Bible and make good choices.

God bless!

 

[adamhovey1988]

But you have today in which to pray and read your Bible and make good choices

I would just like to add, praying and reading your Bible are both good choices.

 

[ameryle]

Make sure it is not depression by seing a therapist. I have prayed for you.

 

[Grizzly1]

Ah, the impatience of youth!

Don’t take this the wrong way, but you might be overthinking things. The hardest thing to do is just relax and I think if you can learn how to do that you will feel better. Take up a hobby, learn an instrument, etc. There’s also a lot of threads here on “scrupulosity,” search that term and read what you find. Those mortal sins might actually just be mortal sins in your mind only.

Take up some kind of physical activity; if you’re male then you should consider regular weightlifting mandatory.

I truly love our Lord, but I feel I have gone so far yet accomplished nothing

Come on, you’re barely 16. Even Alexander the Great didn’t become master of Asia until he was in his 30s. Give yourself a break.

 

[douglaskatie03]

I’m so sorry to hear that! I’m here if you need a friend to talk to Catholics are all just one big spiritual family, and we should always be able to help eachother out. In answering your question, sometimes all you have to do is ask God to help you understand and to help you draw yourself closer to him. A little phrase I’ve made up recently is “Jesus, allow me to accept you into my heart completely”. Try asking Our Lord as sincerely and intently as you possibly can for contrition and the desire to love him so deeply in your heart.

Edit: Also forgive me I just realised you can see your edits lol. It was really late and for some reason I was reading that you turned 16 about 7 months ago. Apparently I can’t read when I’m tired

 

[pulchraesamicamea]

Dear friend,
I was 19 when I converted to Catholicism. By age 18, I was already largely drawn to Catholicism and I made the very difficult choice to become Catholic. For your age, being close to God is very difficult. I admire you!

Please know that as sinners we all fall apart and fall short to the grace of God. We just have to understand that God is a loving, merciful God. Please go to confession if you fall but don’t hate yourself for it. If you feel a spiritual emptiness, please consult a priest. It could be something else than spiritual dryness, so if you desire, please seek professional help such as counseling.

If it helps at all, I’ll be your friend! I can send you emails or something- just let me know.

Pax +