My Spiritual Stumbling

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FuzzyBunny116

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Lately I’ve been going through all kinds of spiritual crisises (if thats a word). First I had a crisis of faith - a doubting of God and the Church, where I had (and still have) mountains upon mountains of questions. I went through, and am still going through, a period of awful thoughts of all kinds of vulgarity and despicable things, which I do my best to resist, with God’s help. Worst of all, however, is that I feel my love of God fading.

This isn’t particularly surprising to me. I remember around Christmas time asking the Lord to test and purify me, because I was so proud and confident I could take anything He could throw at me. And I see that I was wrong.

Are there any exercises or suggestions any of you have for getting my love life with God back on track? I’ve been meaning to go to Adoration, but since its only offered on Fridays, I’m usually too relieved from school being out to remember.
 
Have you read St. John Chrysostrom’s “Dark Night of the Soul”?

Or even a good does of C.S. Lewis’ “Screwtape Letters”?

C
 
Cari said:
Have you read St. John Chrysostrom’s “Dark Night of the Soul”?

Or even a good does of C.S. Lewis’ “Screwtape Letters”?

C
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‘Dark Night of the Soul’ is St John of the Cross, not St John Chrysostom
 
FuzzyBunny, it sounds like you’ve had a bit of a spiritual smackdown after your “Bring it on” attitude previously. Write on the back of your hand on Friday morning to remind you to go to Adoration. Just a big letter A will do, I’m sure. Go to confession more often for the graces and the purity of soul. Know that a dry spell is an opportunity given to you by God to grow in your faith. He’s trusting you with this.

Oh, and the plural of “crisis” is “crises.”

Betsy
 
You might try the “exercises” created by the founder of the Jesuits:

Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius

OR

THE WAY, FURROW, THE FORGE - ONE VOLUME

by Saint Josemaría Escrivá
 
You can go to confession, there is such a thing as spiritual pride.

(I’ve done this exact one before, it’s not pretty, :o but PLEASE thank God for your dryness from the bottom of your heart- He loves you enough to correct you right away on this one. If He didn’t, He would have let that spiritual pride grow and grow and grow…)
 
May I suggest receiving Eucharist on a frequent basis. Receiving Jesus, he who is strong enough to fight these things, into your system on a frequent basis might help. Try going to daily Mass if Possible.
 
Yes, Confession is a good idea. Mass is hard to get to because of the times, and thank you for recommending Dark Night of a Soul. It was one I was considering reading.
 
I second the St. Ignatius book “Spiritual Excercises” for interior examination of one’s self.
 
FuzzyBunny116 said:
This isn’t particularly surprising to me. I remember around Christmas time asking the Lord to test and purify me, because I was so proud and confident I could take anything He could throw at me. And I see that I was wrong.
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No matter how much faith I have in Him, I am afraid of being tested. 😃
Perhaps, God wants you to know that …yes, you can confident that you have faith in Him, but that confidence is not coming from you. Having faith and trust in Him is the gift which comes from Him …to you.

So, pray that He will be always with you and do not let you fall. Have confident and trust in Him…not you.
 
Endure the next humiliation you suffer (whatever form that takes)with thanks and praise to God. That is a spiritual challenge and will unite you much closer to Jesus than many prayers and fasts. It doesn’t matter how your heart feels as long as your will raises to God a word of thanks, that is sufficient.

Who were those at the foot of the Cross? The one who had been forgiven much the Magdalen, the one who** loved** much and Jesus loved St John and the one who had given much who gave Him to the world, His Mother.

Love, forgive and give, this is the Gospel.

In thanksgiving we adore and in adoring at all times in the Living Prayer of our life of the Gospel we are united to Jesus.
 
I picked up and started reading Dark Night of the Soul but still cannot find the drive to even pray a daily Rosary. I want to have a relationship with God in theory, but in practice I seem to blow Him off. 😊
 
Hi Michael,
You’re recognizing your dryness of soul. We all walk through these deserts (or stumble through them) at various times and to varying degrees.
When this happens to me, I try to make an effort to attend week day mass – not necessarily in my parish, because of the different mass times and my work schedule.
Sacramentals help too – I have a crucifix on my wall – it reminds me to pray, or at least think of God. I might pray something like “Jesus, I’m struggling to believe in you right now – help me to know your merciful presence” … and other petitions.
Sometimes I’ll pick up the bible and reflect on a psalm or other passage.
Sometimes I’ll go on the Internet and read a mini-homily on the day’s readings.
Sometimes I’ll ask our heavenly Mother to pray for me – I especially like praying the “Hail, Holy Queen” prayer during my “dry” periods.
You’re not alone, Michael. Our Lord treasures you each and every moment, and aches for you to return His love. I will remember you in my prayer.

For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for woe! plans to give you a future full of hope. When you call me, when you go to pray to me, I will listen to you. When you look for me, you will find me. Yes, when you seek me with all your heart, you will find me with you, says the Lord, and I will change your lot… (Jeremiah 29:11-14a)
 
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