My struggle with the sacraments

[OneBigSinner]

I grew up with church every Sunday, prayers before meals, in the evening, etc. In my early teens I was going to Church daily sometimes, confession once a month, communion whenever I attended mass. I went to a large Catholic event once and went up on stage with a number of other young men who were considering priesthood…

I’m not almost 30 and haven’t been to confession in over a year (the time before was also about a year and same before that). Communion same. Mass is only for when my family insists but I’d never choose it on my own.

Through this all, there isn’t a day that passes where I don’t think (often with guilt) about my relationship with God. It’s not just doom and gloom though, I do feel like He is my rock, I thank Him for what I have and pray my own little prayers for family, friends, or unknowns who are bound to need prayer too.

My struggle is that I find the Mass and prayers extremely boring. I get into zombie mode and can’t focus. I feel like it’s a waste of time to attend. Then there’s confession where I feel like a total hypocrite for going when I know I’ll keep repeating my sins. Communion is only an issue because I don’t confess…I don’t believe in taking Communion if I don’t attend church or pray regularly. In fact, it would probably be a bigger sin to do that (right?).

So that’s it…I’m living a life where I can’t escape God…well not that I should want to, but I can’t escape the sins which have become a part of my lifestyle. So the life I lead + the Catholic life I should be leading are completely incongruent.As a result, I dont partake in any sacraments.

I know I wrote a long story, but maybe somebody’s gone through the same thing, and maybe I’ll get some good advice.

 

[puzzleannie]

I
My struggle is that I find the Mass and prayers extremely boring.

for now simply work on listening with all your attention and focus, even if it means closing your eyes, to every word, the prayers of the priest and people, the readings, the Eucharistic prayer, the songs, all of it. The practice in focus and listening will overcome the boredom as you gradually realize what is being said, why, what it explains, and what is happening. That btw is the definition of full active participation.

Listen most especially for the Word God has for you that day at that particular Mass. There is one, always. Listen. Listen. Listen. It is almost a certainty that the first movement you will feel is the impulse to return to confession, without which no further growth is possible, nor any solution to your dilemma.

 

[YoungTradCath]

Try going to a different church to attend mass. The difference from church to church is massive in most cases. Find something that you like. Try going to a Tridentine mass (I’m assuming you attend Novus Ordo masses, since that is the norm). See what you like, and keep going to that church.

I’m willing to bet if you’ve gone a year since your last confession, you’ve committed a mortal sin or two at least, in that time. Go to confession no matter how hypocritical you feel. Denying yourself confession just makes it worse. Remember that if you are in a state of mortal sin, you may not take communion. To do so is to commit another, very bad, mortal sin.

Denying yourself confession especially is, in my opinion, Satan acting on you. He does not want you to seek reconciliation. And right now, he’s winning.

 

[Trishie]

Hi, I’m glad you continue to pray.
Think of the Mass in this way. If you never get to find out more about a particular person, he or she will be totally boring to you. You wont have any interest, and you won’t believe there could be anything for you in pursuing the relationship.
Perhaps your relationship with the Mass is equally superficial, and you need to find for yourself the mystery and value of the Mass.

As for Confession, yes, you may sin again, but you will try not to.
But why bother eating. You’re only going to have to eat again in a few hours.
I know it’s not the same, but perhaps you get the point.

Yes, a priest can seem boring and unstimulating, and the community might seem uninteresting,
but the Mass isn’t about that. There is a whole lot more to all that it is.The priest is the vessel, but you don’t throw away the goodness of nourishment within the vessel just because you aren’t impressed with the vessel.

I don’t know if that kind of symbolism helps, but it’s after midnight here in Australia, and so I’m tired, but someone else might come up with better thoughts while I get my sleep.
It’s great that you are seeking resolution and enlightenment. I’ll pray for you before I drop off to sleep.
God bless and help you.

Trishie

 

[hilde_the_dog]

Most souls will go through a period of doubt,restlessness or seperation. I did for about eight years. And then I was slowly brought into the Catholic Church by God through the quiet exam-ple of others. ( I was raised dutch Calivinist).

If prayers are boring well don’t force it. Remember prayer should be a conversation, maybe you could express your doubt, fears, frustration in it. You seem to be open to God and that is vital. God will act in a way that is right for you in a time that is right for you, you must just be open to it. Let Him handle it.

Before I joined the Catholic Church, my first prayers centered on my lab puppy not knocking over my future fathinlaws statue of Mary - that came from the Legion of Mary.

Remember, after we recite the “Our Father” the priest recites a series of request including “and free us from all anxiety”. I will ask god to do that for you and so should you.

 

[AntalKalnoky]

I grew up with church every Sunday, prayers before meals, in the evening, etc. In my early teens I was going to Church daily sometimes, confession once a month, communion whenever I attended mass. I went to a large Catholic event once and went up on stage with a number of other young men who were considering priesthood…

I’m not almost 30 and haven’t been to confession in over a year (the time before was also about a year and same before that). Communion same. Mass is only for when my family insists but I’d never choose it on my own.

Through this all, there isn’t a day that passes where I don’t think (often with guilt) about my relationship with God. It’s not just doom and gloom though, I do feel like He is my rock, I thank Him for what I have and pray my own little prayers for family, friends, or unknowns who are bound to need prayer too.

My struggle is that I find the Mass and prayers extremely boring. I get into zombie mode and can’t focus. I feel like it’s a waste of time to attend. Then there’s confession where I feel like a total hypocrite for going when I know I’ll keep repeating my sins. Communion is only an issue because I don’t confess…I don’t believe in taking Communion if I don’t attend church or pray regularly. In fact, it would probably be a bigger sin to do that (right?).

So that’s it…I’m living a life where I can’t escape God…well not that I should want to, but I can’t escape the sins which have become a part of my lifestyle. So the life I lead + the Catholic life I should be leading are completely incongruent.As a result, I dont partake in any sacraments.

I know I wrote a long story, but maybe somebody’s gone through the same thing, and maybe I’ll get some good advice.

I was gone from the Church for over 30 years; Best thing I Ever did in Life is Gouing to a pre-scheduled 30 year Confession! Know what Mass Is? It’s the Last Supper Feast Our Lord Asked, and the Apostles began Immediatelly, with The Focus of The Church Since is The Consecration By GOD, Through the Priest, to His Real Earthly presence. Know Who does all 7 sacraments? Jesus Christ, Through the Priest. Ask for a meeting With a Priest, about these concerns Most of us lived through.

Tried local Knights of Columbus? Great group of Men; half in my Council are Converts, so glad to be Catholic. Getting Involved with The Ideal Church is the way; ‘going to Mass’ is only a begining; learning What it Is is fascinating turn-on. And Never ever go for Communion, without First Confession of any Serious Sins first, including how many times bad communion.

                                                                                                                     Each of us  have  habitual  sins,   Felt  forgiven,  and advised how to  try to avoid   by the  Priest.   Only  Confession,    Felt   foregiveness  By     Christ, Removes The  Guilt;  Nothing else can;  including  counsellors.                                                                       :blessyou:                             The    Sacraments   Are our  Reunion With God!    Worst  to  avoid   God  and Our  Lord's   sacraments.

 

[JM3]

copiosa.org/suffering/suffering_scars.htm

The nearer Christ comes to a Heart, the more it becomes Conscious of its Guilt; it will then either ask for His Mercy and find Peace,
or else it will turn against Him because it is not yet ready to give up its Sinfulness.

Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen

 

[starsmurf]

I grew up with church every Sunday, prayers before meals, in the evening, etc. In my early teens I was going to Church daily sometimes, confession once a month, communion whenever I attended mass. I went to a large Catholic event once and went up on stage with a number of other young men who were considering priesthood…

I’m not almost 30 and haven’t been to confession in over a year (the time before was also about a year and same before that). Communion same. Mass is only for when my family insists but I’d never choose it on my own.

Through this all, there isn’t a day that passes where I don’t think (often with guilt) about my relationship with God. It’s not just doom and gloom though, I do feel like He is my rock, I thank Him for what I have and pray my own little prayers for family, friends, or unknowns who are bound to need prayer too.

My struggle is that I find the Mass and prayers extremely boring. I get into zombie mode and can’t focus. I feel like it’s a waste of time to attend. Then there’s confession where I feel like a total hypocrite for going when I know I’ll keep repeating my sins. Communion is only an issue because I don’t confess…I don’t believe in taking Communion if I don’t attend church or pray regularly. In fact, it would probably be a bigger sin to do that (right?).

So that’s it…I’m living a life where I can’t escape God…well not that I should want to, but I can’t escape the sins which have become a part of my lifestyle. So the life I lead + the Catholic life I should be leading are completely incongruent.As a result, I dont partake in any sacraments.

I know I wrote a long story, but maybe somebody’s gone through the same thing, and maybe I’ll get some good advice.

I have been through the same thing. I stopped going to Mass, didn’t go to confession and then felt so guilty about it. I stopped praying and found everything so boring. I was told it was either clinical depression or an experience called the dark night of the soul. You cannot feel God, there is no joy in any of the things of religion and they are often a source of pain.

God helped me, in a rather strange way. I went to the Easter Triduum, as I love those services. When I got to Mass on Easter Sunday morning, I found myself sitting next to one of the men who had been confirmed at the Vigil the night before. I offered him my congratulations, as a fellow convert, and we got talking. In the course of this I showed him my Missal which has my name inscribed on it. He realised that he was a friend of my brother. I noticed that he had a full music version of the hymnbook and asked if he was in the choir, saying I’d always wanted to join it. The result was I ended up auditioning at the end of Mass! That meant that I had to go each Sunday!

Gradually I stopped finding it boring, I got up the courage to attend confession and that really helped, as I could receive the Eucharist again. I felt like earth that had dried out and become brick-hard, gradually being watered and that the plants of devotion could grow again.

I would suggest seeing your doctor to rule out a medical cause. Also go and speak to a priest, if there is one you feel you could talk to. You will not be the first person who will have come to him with this problem. He should be able to help you with a gradual program of returning to a regular prayer life and reception of the sacraments. If you cannot see a priest, then gradually return to the sacraments. Go to confession if you possibly can. Try and make Sunday Mass once before the end of the month. Try to spend a few minutes a day just chatting to God and telling Him all about your day, your hopes and fears, anything.

I hope this is helpful. If you allow Him to, God will help you back to the sacraments. I will be praying for you.

God bless

 

[Monica4316]

I grew up with church every Sunday, prayers before meals, in the evening, etc. In my early teens I was going to Church daily sometimes, confession once a month, communion whenever I attended mass. I went to a large Catholic event once and went up on stage with a number of other young men who were considering priesthood…

I’m not almost 30 and haven’t been to confession in over a year (the time before was also about a year and same before that). Communion same. Mass is only for when my family insists but I’d never choose it on my own.

Through this all, there isn’t a day that passes where I don’t think (often with guilt) about my relationship with God. It’s not just doom and gloom though, I do feel like He is my rock, I thank Him for what I have and pray my own little prayers for family, friends, or unknowns who are bound to need prayer too.

My struggle is that I find the Mass and prayers extremely boring. I get into zombie mode and can’t focus. I feel like it’s a waste of time to attend.

Hi, well try to think of it this way… when you come to Mass, - Jesus is ACTUALLY present there - not just spiritually, but really present - on the Altar and in the Tabernacle. He’s not present in this way anywhere else except the Eucharist. This is not boring at all so focus on Him there, pray to Him, go to church to spend time with Him. Church is not a waste of time because: we can get great graces through the Mass, it’s a chance to worship God which is important because He deserves that and so that we can love Him more, it’s a chance to receive Jesus into ourselves in Communion!! that is the greatest thing. Maybe it could help you to read something by the Saints and how they spoke about Mass and Communion. here’s a video about St Padre Pio and how he saw the Mass, please watch this: youtube.com/watch?v=zjxL3sgfMqQ far from boring!!

Then there’s confession where I feel like a total hypocrite for going when I know I’ll keep repeating my sins.

the idea of repentance is to not want to do the sins again, and to resolve to try your hardest to not do them again. Why do you “know” that you’ll do them again? if you try hard enough, with God’s grace, you can overcome them. And Confession often gives us the grace and strength to do that, but we need to repent. Confession is really important.

Communion is only an issue because I don’t confess…I don’t believe in taking Communion if I don’t attend church or pray regularly. In fact, it would probably be a bigger sin to do that (right?).

It’s a mortal sin to receive Communion without Confession if you have mortal sins. Also in addition you should keep the fast.

It’s a sin to miss Mass on Sunday through your own choice - unless you’re extremely sick, can’t get transportation, etc. If you just don’t go, that’s a mortal sin that needs to be confessed as well.

So that’s it…I’m living a life where I can’t escape God…well not that I should want to, but I can’t escape the sins which have become a part of my lifestyle. So the life I lead + the Catholic life I should be leading are completely incongruent.As a result, I dont partake in any sacraments.

I know I wrote a long story, but maybe somebody’s gone through the same thing, and maybe I’ll get some good advice.

well I’m just wondering, what is keeping you from taking steps to getting rid of these sins in your life?
Sorry if my post was in any way harsh, but I tried to be direct in what I said

God bless

 

[Monica4316]

Maybe it could help you to read something like sermons by St John Vianney. Here is one

"To love God! oh how beautiful it is! We must be in Heaven to comprehend love… Prayer helps us a little, because prayer is the elevation of the soul to Heaven… The more we know men, the less we love them. It is the reverse with God; the more we know Him, the more we love Him. This knowledge inflames the soul with such a love, that it can no longer love or desire anything from God… Man was created by love; therefore he is so disposed to love. On the other hand, he is so great that nothing on the earth can satisfy him. He can be satisfied only when he turns towards God… Take a fish out of the water, and it will not live. Well, such is man without God. "There are some who do not love the good God, who do not pray to Him, and who prosper; that is a bad sign. They have done a little good in the midst of a great deal of evil. The good God rewards them in this life. "This earth is a bridge to cross the water; it serves only to support our steps… We are in this world, but we are not of this world, since we say every day, ‘Our Father, Who art in Heaven.’ We must wait, then, for our reward till we are at home, in our Father’s house. This is the reason why good Christians suffer crosses, contradictions, adversities, contempt, calumnies – so much the better! . . . But people are astonished at this. They seem to think that because we love the good God a little, we ought to have nothing to contradict us, nothing to make us suffer…

We say, 'There is a person who is not good, and yet everything goes well with him; but with me, it is of no use doing my best; everything goes wrong. It is because we do not understand the value and the happiness of crosses. We say sometimes that God chastises those whom He loves. That is not true. Trials are not chastisements; they are graces to those whom God loves… We must not consider the labor, but the recompense. A merchant does not consider the trouble he undergoes in his commerce, but the profit he gains by it… What are twenty years, thirty years, compared to eternity? What, then, have we to suffer? A few humiliations, a few annoyances, a few sharp words; that will not kill us."It is glorious to be able to please God, so little as we are! Our tongue should be employed only in praying, our heart in loving, our eyes in weeping. We are great, and we are nothing… There is nothing greater than man, and nothing less. Nothing is greater, if we consider his soul; nothing is less, if we look at his body… We occupy ourselves with the body, as if we had it alone to take care of; we have, on the contrary, it alone to despise… We are the work of a God… one always loves one’s own work… It is easy enough to understand that we are the work of a God; but that the crucifixion of a God should be our work! that is incomprehensible."Some people attribute a hard heart to the Eternal Father. Oh, how mistaken they are! The Eternal Father, to disarm His own justice, gave to His Son an excessively tender heart; no one can give what he does not possess. Our Lord said to His Father: ‘Father, do not punish them!’ . . . Our Lord suffered more than was necessary to redeem us. But what would have satisfied the justice of His Father would not have satisfied His love. Without Our Lord’s death, all mankind together could not expiate a single little lie."In the world, people hide Heaven and Hell: Heaven, because if we knew its beauty, we would wish to go there at all costs – we would, indeed, leave the world alone; Hell, because if we knew the torments that are endured there, we would do all we could to avoid going there."The Sign of the Cross is formidable to the devil, because by the Cross we escape from him. We should make the Sign of the Cross with great respect. We begin with the forehead: it is the head, creation – the Father; then the heart: love, life, redemption – the Son; then the shoulders: strength – the Holy Spirit. Everything reminds us of the Cross. We ourselves are made in the form of a cross. In Heaven we shall be nourished by the breath of God… The good God will place us as an architect places the stones of a building – each one in the spot to which it is adapted. The soul of the saints contained the foundations of Heaven. They felt an emanation from Heaven, in which they bathed and lost themselves… As the disciples on Mount Thabor saw nothing but Jesus alone, so interior souls, on the Thabor of their hearts no longer see anything but Our Lord. They are two friends, who are never tired of each other…“There are some who lose the faith, and never see Hell till they enter it. The lost will be enveloped in the wrath of God, as the fish are in the water. It is not God who condemns us to Hell; it is we ourselves who do it by our sins. The lost do not accuse God; they accuse themselves. They say, 'I have lost God, my soul, and Heaven by my own fault. ’ No one was ever lost for having done too much evil; but many are in Hell for a single mortal sin of which they would not repent. If a lost soul could say once, ‘O my God I love You!’ there would be no more Hell for him . . . but, alas, poor soul! it has lost the power of loving which it had received, and of which it made no use. Its heart is dried up like grapes that have passed through the winepress. No more joy in that soul, no more peace, because there is no more love… Hell has its origin in the goodness of God. The lost will say, 'Oh, if at least God had not loved us so much, we would suffer less! Hell would be endurable… But to have been so much loved! what grief!”

Here are the rest jesus-passion.com/saint_john_vianney.htm My advice is to read the one about lukewarmness, on the website - and make sure that you are not one of these souls, but if you are, pray the Rosary and make efforts to make a good worthy confession and go to Mass.

God bless

 

[jpjd]

There is a saying that seems to apply to your situation: “It easier to steer a moving car than one that is standing still.”

In other words, you will find it easier to overcome your sins when you go to Confession regularly. You will find Mass more meaningful when you go to Mass every week. You will find it easier to pray when you pray every day. I suggest that you attend a retreat, or participate in a bible study, or join a young adult group at your parish, to jump start your faith. You need some fellowship and support to help you progress in your faith and to reinforce you.

By the way, even though we should resolve to not commit our sins again, it does very often happen that people do repeatedly repeat their sins. It’s not just you! (Sometimes it takes years to overcome a particular sin.) We are not perfect, sinless, or perfectly sinless! If you go to confession and receive the Eucharist regularly, God’s grace will be with you to help you live your faith well. You must at least try. To not try is to give up on the hope of Christ.

 

[OneBigSinner]

for now simply work on listening with all your attention and focus, even if it means closing your eyes, to every word, the prayers of the priest and people, the readings, the Eucharistic prayer, the songs, all of it. The practice in focus and listening will overcome the boredom as you gradually realize what is being said, why, what it explains, and what is happening. That btw is the definition of full active participation.

Listen most especially for the Word God has for you that day at that particular Mass. There is one, always. Listen. Listen. Listen. It is almost a certainty that the first movement you will feel is the impulse to return to confession, without which no further growth is possible, nor any solution to your dilemma.

I think my issue may be deeper than this, I was such a frequent churchgoer that I could recite the entire mass by heart (including the priest’s part). In a way, that could be part of the problem…but I agree, I need to really listen, and the repetitive bits aside, I need to assimilate what’s possibly new and important. Thanks

 

[OneBigSinner]

Try going to a different church to attend mass. The difference from church to church is massive in most cases. Find something that you like. Try going to a Tridentine mass (I’m assuming you attend Novus Ordo masses, since that is the norm). See what you like, and keep going to that church.

I’m willing to bet if you’ve gone a year since your last confession, you’ve committed a mortal sin or two at least, in that time. Go to confession no matter how hypocritical you feel. Denying yourself confession just makes it worse. Remember that if you are in a state of mortal sin, you may not take communion. To do so is to commit another, very bad, mortal sin.

Denying yourself confession especially is, in my opinion, Satan acting on you. He does not want you to seek reconciliation. And right now, he’s winning.

Thank you! I know Satan’s winning the battle for my soul right now, but it’s good to hear it from elsewhere too (for motivation)…part of the issue now is I’m in a new place where I’m struggling to express myself with the language, so that makes it all the less encouraging. You’re completely right, and thank you for the encouragement.

 

[OneBigSinner]

Hi, I’m glad you continue to pray.
Think of the Mass in this way. If you never get to find out more about a particular person, he or she will be totally boring to you. You wont have any interest, and you won’t believe there could be anything for you in pursuing the relationship.
Perhaps your relationship with the Mass is equally superficial, and you need to find for yourself the mystery and value of the Mass.

As for Confession, yes, you may sin again, but you will try not to.
But why bother eating. You’re only going to have to eat again in a few hours.
I know it’s not the same, but perhaps you get the point.

Yes, a priest can seem boring and unstimulating, and the community might seem uninteresting,
but the Mass isn’t about that. There is a whole lot more to all that it is.The priest is the vessel, but you don’t throw away the goodness of nourishment within the vessel just because you aren’t impressed with the vessel.

I don’t know if that kind of symbolism helps, but it’s after midnight here in Australia, and so I’m tired, but someone else might come up with better thoughts while I get my sleep.
It’s great that you are seeking resolution and enlightenment. I’ll pray for you before I drop off to sleep.
God bless and help you.

Trishie

Thank you for your prayers Trishie, and your suggestions. I think to some, cradle Catholicism is a curse as much as for others a gift…it’s probably much harder to come back to something in which you’ve lost interest than to become interested in something new…that’s a big block for me. I hope your prayers help.

 

[OneBigSinner]

Most souls will go through a period of doubt,restlessness or seperation. I did for about eight years. And then I was slowly brought into the Catholic Church by God through the quiet exam-ple of others. ( I was raised dutch Calivinist).

If prayers are boring well don’t force it. Remember prayer should be a conversation, maybe you could express your doubt, fears, frustration in it. You seem to be open to God and that is vital. God will act in a way that is right for you in a time that is right for you, you must just be open to it. Let Him handle it.

Before I joined the Catholic Church, my first prayers centered on my lab puppy not knocking over my future fathinlaws statue of Mary - that came from the Legion of Mary.

Remember, after we recite the “Our Father” the priest recites a series of request including “and free us from all anxiety”. I will ask god to do that for you and so should you.

Thanks for your prayers too! I think if I keep asking for prayers in here, my life may get a big turnaround
Here’s what happens with me though (and I’m totally with you about prayer being a conversation) when it comes down to it, am I not going to have to say rosaries, the chaplet of the devine mercy, prayers in novenas? As I learned and saw, these are staples of Catholicism, and I’m dreading having to kneel and repeat all these over and over on a regular basis. I always learned that we have to pray “with the heart”, but after so much repetition growing up I barely even say them with my voice. I’ve lost all interest

 

[OneBigSinner]

I was gone from the Church for over 30 years; Best thing I Ever did in Life is Gouing to a pre-scheduled 30 year Confession! Know what Mass Is? It’s the Last Supper Feast Our Lord Asked, and the Apostles began Immediatelly, with The Focus of The Church Since is The Consecration By GOD, Through the Priest, to His Real Earthly presence. Know Who does all 7 sacraments? Jesus Christ, Through the Priest. Ask for a meeting With a Priest, about these concerns Most of us lived through.

Tried local Knights of Columbus? Great group of Men; half in my Council are Converts, so glad to be Catholic. Getting Involved with The Ideal Church is the way; ‘going to Mass’ is only a begining; learning What it Is is fascinating turn-on. And Never ever go for Communion, without First Confession of any Serious Sins first, including how many times bad communion.

                                                                                                                     Each of us  have  habitual  sins,   Felt  forgiven,  and advised how to  try to avoid   by the  Priest.   Only  Confession,    Felt   foregiveness  By     Christ, Removes The  Guilt;  Nothing else can;  including  counsellors.                                                                       :blessyou:                             The    Sacraments   Are our  Reunion With God!    Worst  to  avoid   God  and Our  Lord's   sacraments.

You bring up a good point, maybe the conversation I should be having first is an appointment with a priest to just discuss things…Thanks!

 

[OneBigSinner]

copiosa.org/suffering/suffering_scars.htm

I’m not sure I feel terribly guilty over my sins…I suppose that’s not that good. And were I to confess, I’m sure I’d feel great, like a criminal walking around with a clean slate…but I need to get myself to get there first…to confess. And then to not need to confess a few days later.

 

[OneBigSinner]

I have been through the same thing. I stopped going to Mass, didn’t go to confession and then felt so guilty about it. I stopped praying and found everything so boring. I was told it was either clinical depression or an experience called the dark night of the soul. You cannot feel God, there is no joy in any of the things of religion and they are often a source of pain.

God helped me, in a rather strange way. I went to the Easter Triduum, as I love those services. When I got to Mass on Easter Sunday morning, I found myself sitting next to one of the men who had been confirmed at the Vigil the night before. I offered him my congratulations, as a fellow convert, and we got talking. In the course of this I showed him my Missal which has my name inscribed on it. He realised that he was a friend of my brother. I noticed that he had a full music version of the hymnbook and asked if he was in the choir, saying I’d always wanted to join it. The result was I ended up auditioning at the end of Mass! That meant that I had to go each Sunday!

Gradually I stopped finding it boring, I got up the courage to attend confession and that really helped, as I could receive the Eucharist again. I felt like earth that had dried out and become brick-hard, gradually being watered and that the plants of devotion could grow again.

I would suggest seeing your doctor to rule out a medical cause. Also go and speak to a priest, if there is one you feel you could talk to. You will not be the first person who will have come to him with this problem. He should be able to help you with a gradual program of returning to a regular prayer life and reception of the sacraments. If you cannot see a priest, then gradually return to the sacraments. Go to confession if you possibly can. Try and make Sunday Mass once before the end of the month. Try to spend a few minutes a day just chatting to God and telling Him all about your day, your hopes and fears, anything.

I hope this is helpful. If you allow Him to, God will help you back to the sacraments. I will be praying for you.

God bless

It’s nice to hear I’m not the only one who’s gone through this and that there can be a positive outcome on the way out, really hope God sets something up for me the same way, your return sounds like serendipity itself. Time will tell…

 

[Joan1969]

Thanks for your prayers too! I think if I keep asking for prayers in here, my life may get a big turnaround
Here’s what happens with me though (and I’m totally with you about prayer being a conversation) when it comes down to it, am I not going to have to say rosaries, the chaplet of the devine mercy, prayers in novenas? As I learned and saw, these are staples of Catholicism, and I’m dreading having to kneel and repeat all these over and over on a regular basis. I always learned that we have to pray “with the heart”, but after so much repetition growing up I barely even say them with my voice. I’ve lost all interest

Hi One,

I would recommend plenty of spiritual reading, so that you have something to occupy your mind during Mass and prayers. It will encourage like the posters above, but there will be much more material!

I know very much what you’re talking about, and I share your struggles. God Bless you in your spiritual life.

Joan

 

[OneBigSinner]

Hi, well try to think of it this way… when you come to Mass, - Jesus is ACTUALLY present there - not just spiritually, but really present - on the Altar and in the Tabernacle. He’s not present in this way anywhere else except the Eucharist. This is not boring at all so focus on Him there, pray to Him, go to church to spend time with Him. Church is not a waste of time because: we can get great graces through the Mass, it’s a chance to worship God which is important because He deserves that and so that we can love Him more, it’s a chance to receive Jesus into ourselves in Communion!! that is the greatest thing. Maybe it could help you to read something by the Saints and how they spoke about Mass and Communion. here’s a video about St Padre Pio and how he saw the Mass, please watch this: youtube.com/watch?v=zjxL3sgfMqQ far from boring!!

the idea of repentance is to not want to do the sins again, and to resolve to try your hardest to not do them again. Why do you “know” that you’ll do them again? if you try hard enough, with God’s grace, you can overcome them. And Confession often gives us the grace and strength to do that, but we need to repent. Confession is really important.

It’s a mortal sin to receive Communion without Confession if you have mortal sins. Also in addition you should keep the fast.

It’s a sin to miss Mass on Sunday through your own choice - unless you’re extremely sick, can’t get transportation, etc. If you just don’t go, that’s a mortal sin that needs to be confessed as well.

well I’m just wondering, what is keeping you from taking steps to getting rid of these sins in your life?
Sorry if my post was in any way harsh, but I tried to be direct in what I said

God bless

Hi Monica, thanks for being straightforward, I never have a problem with that. I guess I know what you’re saying already. I have a hard time being free from temptation, and in this case sexual temptation which is why “I know” i will sin again, because in part at least, I don’t feel like I want to stop having a sexual relationship with my girlfriend. I’m not interested in marriage for a few more years, so I cant even imagine what it would be like to go by without sex for that long…

you know in a way, this just helped me analyze the whole situation, start to finish. I don’t take the sacraments because I don’t want to quit sinning…not good