my stupid little question

[BlueRubies]

okay, I want to know if this is wrong. My son (when he was born) got presents from my husbands family. A lot of this was jewelry. He got 2 chains (necklaces) and 2 bracelets. Now, we did sell some of it - a chain and a bracelet because the bracelet was way to small and the chain was destroyed by ds. So, while gold prices are up, we got rid of those. Now, ds got a platinum chain which is the snake chain design - very delicate. My son has worn is a couple of times and it has so many kinks in it. It is a short chain. Anyway, he obviously can’t wear it now because he will ruin it and when he gets older I know he will not want to wear a necklace - how many boys want to wear a necklace?

So, I have been wearing it. I mean, what do you think? Am I doing wrong by kind of taking over this chain?

 

[JCismywingman]

Personally, i wouldn’t say it’s wrong, i’m sure you’d tell your son (when he’s old enough) that the chain is his, and in the event that he wanted to wear it, you’d gladly let him have it back? So i doubt it’s ‘stealing’ from him?

At least for my mom, she keeps money/jewellery given to me/sibiling for us and lets us know that we can have it back when we want it. Mostly, we let her keep it cos she does a great job at doing that and we aren’t into wearing gold chains anyways

 

[BlueRubies]

thanks JC - yeah, I would give it back if he wanted it. But by that time, I don’t think he can even get it around his neck, lol. But yeah, it’s his for the taking when he can take care of it. Thanks!

 

[Joannm]

Many men wear necklaces, although they probably call them “chains.” My dad has worn one for years and my son wears one on and off. Also if the chain is long enough he can put a crucifix on it. I still have the necklace that his godmother got him for his baptism. Of course at 26 it is now way to small…probably would fit around his wrist…but we are saving it for when he has a child…which at this rate will probaly be a long time coming. Kids these days don’t want to get married young around here.

 

[jrabs]

Your son may want to give it to his child some day. It was a gift to him, I guess I’d save it for him to decide what to do with it. Many boys and men wear chains these days.
In fact, I have never seen my husband wear chains and recently he surprised me by telling me he’d like to start wearing a chain.

So one never does know.

 

[Catholic90]

…and when he gets older I know he will not want to wear a necklace - **how many boys want to wear a necklace? **

How many teen boys do you know?!?

All 3 of my teens have at one point or another worn chains. One only quit because he is a runner, and he got tired of it hitting him in the chin. However, my 16 year old received a chain for his 12th birthday and has not removed it since. In fact, he has added various other chains on occassion. Many, many of his classmates and friends also wear chains. My husband has worn a chain since college.

I guess I would not have sold the chains. That is just me. I would have kept them for DS to decide what to do with, since they were technically his.

 

[Ted_in_Charlott]

I’m 50 and I wear a chain with a crucifix. My son likes chains. I think it is a matter of personal taste. Some girls like men that wear jewelry, some don’t. All matters of taste.

 

[puzzleannie]

once a gift is given it belongs to the recipient, not the giver, so he can do anything he likes with it. For a child not old enough to make his own decisions, the parents can do what is in the best interests of the child, so if it is sold, the money should be saved or used for the child. Whether or not it is prudent in the light of good family relationships to part with a gift is just a judgement call. You could simply say, if the giver asks:
the chain broke and could not be repaired so we sold it and put the money in his savings account, but we will make sure when he is older he knows about your generous gift.

around here a lot of boys wear chains and beads, shell necklaces and earrings, would not have been done in my day but I am over the hill and no judge of fashion.

 

[Ted_in_Charlott]

I would agree that if the parent sells a gift given to a minor child the money should be set aside for the child, poverty not being an issue.

 

[Daniel_Marsh]

Yes, you are dishonoring those who gave the gifts and yes it is stealing. And, I think you know that or you would’nt have asked.

 

[Catholic90]

once a gift is given it belongs to the recipient, not the giver, so he can do anything he likes with it. For a child not old enough to make his own decisions, the parents can do what is in the best interests of the child, so if it is sold, the money should be saved or used for the child. That is key! Was the money saved for the child, or did it go into Mom’s purse for her shopping trip? I would not have sold it. Whether or not it is prudent in the light of good family relationships to part with a gift is just a judgement call. You could simply say, if the giver asks:
the chain broke and could not be repaired so we sold it and put the money in his savings account, but we will make sure when he is older he knows about your generous gift. And make sure this really happened!

around here a lot of boys wear chains and beads, shell necklaces and earrings, would not have been done in my day but I am over the hill and no judge of fashion.It is very popular these days! I think it looks good on some! /quote]

 

[LaLucia]

This is my advise to all of you. It is best to buy the “box” type chain or the “rope” chain for boys and men. It is best to buy 10K or 12K gold. Those chains are stronger for active people including females. Before you buy the chain touch it all over with your hands and fingers to look for flaws that can scrap your skin. Sometimes chains have bits of gold that sticks out to irritate your skin. I have sometimes found flaws on the chains.
Another handy hint: If a chain is too short you can connect a smaller chain or thin braclet chain to make the chain fit you to length you want around your neck.
Some styles of chains do break or crink and you can’t sleep with them on you every night. The chains get messed up.

I don’t see nothing wrong with a parent wearing a chain that belongs to a child even if it was a gift for the child. The Mother can just ask the child if she can wear it or have it. I give lots of jewelry gifts to my grand-children and if their mothers truly like the gift for themselves I tell them it is okay for them to keep it for themselves.I give them my permission in advance so that it doesn’t becomes a gift for my grand children. My grand-kids get several gifts from me. My grandchildren don’t care because their Moms are always buying them gifts that they really want. Jewelry is not important sometimes to kids. Most of them end up losing the chains anyway.
Once a child becomes old enough to want to keep their gifts of jewelry then it is hands off from the parents.
I have one 21yr. old grand-daughter who never liked jewelry so I stopped buying jewelry for her as gifts.

I notice that parents spend a lot of money on gifts that their kids really want. I don’t see anything wrong when a mother falls in love with the beauty of a gold chain and wears it. I am sure the child doesn’t care at all BUT…I do believe the mother should ask for permission from the child so the child understands that we all have to respect things that belong to other family members.
I keep trying to teach that to my grand-children otherwise they may think it is okay to take something that doesn’t belong to them from a family member.