My Testimony to the Church and Eventually Potentially to be a Friar/Monk/Jesuit/Priest

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GloriaDei

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All of this is in the context of a post I made on the Catholic Answers Facebook page regarding debts I need to pay off before I can join a vocation. I merely was asking for prayers and encouragement in the long wait period between now, my debts, RCIA, Confirmation in 2020, and the eventual, hopeful ability to become, I believe a Carmelite Friar, but also open to God making the specifics more clear in the meantime.

I’m sharing this because I felt it may help a brother or sister see that God works in mysterious ways, some beyond any expectations of the individual that He is leading. At the very least this a testimony to how I came to the Church of Jesus Christ from a Southern Baptist Church in a strongly Southern Baptist household that has no understanding of other sects of Protestantism, much less, Roman Catholicism or Eastern Orthodoxy: any Church with Apostolic Tradition.

I would like to share, at least with someone how the journey happened so unexpectedly to this.

Everything in my life just ‘fell into place’ to pointing to this. I took a mission trip in the Baptist church to Italy in HS to ‘evangelize’ and ‘save’ Catholics to the ‘true faith’ in the Protestant faith, and while there I fell in love with the Church, but felt like it was the last thing I could ever do to become Catholic: the Lord corrected me on this, albeit slowly to change my entire mindset towards His Church.

I started realizing that I didn’t know ‘why’ the Baptist interpretation was right, so I began to try to see what the Bible actually said for itself. I ended up deeply studying theology and finally settled on Presbyterianism as the most ‘logically consistent’ and rigorously ‘Biblical’ form of the faith. Conservative old-school Presbyterian take their faith very seriously, albeit in a very intellectual and cerebral sense. Theology and logic is their forte and ‘tradition’ from the Reformation. My church sang only Psalms in worship acapella, as that was deemed the most Biblical practice and took the Westminster Confession as the pinnacle of how the practices are all found in Scripture and grounded in the Word.

I met an Eastern Orthodox man that was friends with a church friend of mine. There was no reason for him to visit, except that this friend of mine was so strongly sure of his Presbyterian church’s faithfulness to true Divine understanding that the EO man at least wanted to see what the all this stuff was about. I talked to him and he made me realize that, despite the fact that the Bible was taken seriously there, and it was better than many/most Protestant churches, there was a large chunk of history, Tradition, and Apostolic Fathers that were ignored, jumped over, or misconstrued. After validating this I felt uneasy and confused. I ‘knew’ that the Eastern Orthodox Church, and especially the Roman Catholic Church’s traditions must have been pagan innovation incorporated into Christianity, but having Presbyterianism’s assumption blown out of the water was devastating.
 
I didn’t know where to turn and left church for a long time ‘seeking’ for the truth wherever it led, because obviously there was no non-pagan infiltrated ‘Christianity’ that accounted for all of Church history I felt. I fell into drugs, the New Age, learned so much of the occult, and became Gnostic. If Christianity and the Bible cannot be trusted as infallible as I thought, and flawed, I had no foundation but nature and nature’s religion. Paganism seemed ancient and beautiful, but I couldn’t not feel guilt even considering it. Gnosticism seemed to esteem ‘the spiritual’ above all else in contrast to this corrupt ‘evil’ material life. But Gnosticism seemed to make too many jumps of logic for me to take it seriously. I couldn’t see rational grounding for it.

I began to study philosophy seriously and became a ‘Neo-Platonist’. Their assumptions were at least rational argued, so must have been grounded in the ultimate reason seeing the world through ‘emanations’ from the Source of Life, which most call ‘God’, the First Cause, who did, in fact create the world through the ‘Demiurge’, who in contrast to Gnosticism’s was not evil, but good and necessary for creation. I began to see in this worldview so many revelations that were somehow ‘almost’ Christian. Was this ‘Demiurge’ the Word, the Logos? Indeed He is, even in their thought. Was the point of the New Testament partly to reveal and ‘bring to light’ what was seen darkly to these post-pagan philosophers. We see this on Mars Hill with Paul: It is the ‘Unknown God’ that Paul worship (the Source of Life and First Cause), by whom we ‘live and move and have our being’. He was speaking especially in Platonic language to the philosophers there. They knew what he meant by his terms and he was telling them that Jesus was God in flesh in contrast to those that eschewed the spiritual world and life after death, such as the Epicureans and Stoics.

Jesus is the Logos and the Word that brought all into existence. John 1 reveals who He is in a very philosophical light and revelation. I became a Christian, as it was the only way all truth could be grounded and known by an absolute standard in Scripture, reason, and ultimately grounded all truth and illuminated the whole purpose of all that is.
 
I knew I needed to find a church now, but where when all these Protestant churches are in disarray and confusion of their own past, the foundation and context of their own history, and the philosophy that under-girds their faith? I became Lutheran for a short while. Iconoclasm was not evil anymore, and it claims to have taken the ‘paganism’ from the Roman Church and restored it to a Biblical purity. In steps my Eastern Orthodox friend again after so much time. He showed me letters of correspondence between the Eastern Orthodox Church and the Lutherans during the Reformation (Jeremias II, Patriarch of Constantinople, 3 letters of correspondence). He ‘rightly’ rejoices they left the Catholic Church, but points out that they are in fact wrong on their assumption that the Eastern Church is just like the Lutheran one.

The Eastern Church, in contrast to Lutheranism, like the Western Church has 7 Sacraments, while Lutherans reduced it to 2. This flies in the face of Church history, and they made this known to them. The intercession of Saints too, out not to be viewed as evil, but good and holy, as the ‘prayer of a righteous man availeth much’, and of course they made a point of their retaining of the Filioque in the Nicence Creed.

I knew that Lutheranism could not, at this point be true. Either Eastern Orthodoxy, in light of history, or the Roman Catholic Church must be the Church Christ Jesus founded, but which one? I studied both sides of the issue and continued correspondence with this friend of mine, but so much of Eastern Orthodoxy seemed very ‘anti-reason’ and exclusively ‘mystical’ like the New Age and Gnosticism that I left when I was wayward. How could this Church that hates Scholasticism and reason have the ‘wholeness’ of truth?

The nail in the coffin though was in the Roman Catholic Church’s founding Tradition. “And I say to thee: That thou art Peter; and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. And I will give to thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven. And whatsoever thou shalt bind upon earth, it shall be bound also in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose upon earth, it shall be loosed also in heaven.”

Peter was given the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven, and upon this Apostle at Christ’s command was His Church founded. How could the Eastern Church refuse to acknowledge the Chair of Peter and Apostolic Succession from him, from Christ, be the true Church.

It was a long journey, and looking back on that Italy trip made me see that God showed me where I was going, and He led me there. He gave me a dream after months of praying where I ought to go to Church throughout this research between the Eastern and Western Church. He showed me the Parish in one dream. He gave me another showing ‘why’:
 
I was in a small old 1800’s looking Parish. A bishop that I felt like was the Pope walked in and passed me to the left of the Church and I walked the center isle and knelt beside/behind him after he walked by and made the sign of the cross on my knees and closed my eyes, and felt the unmistakable presence of God all at the moment so inexpressibly and so beautifully. I went outside through a door at the left front of the chapel and saw someone wearing a purple robe, but it was modest, almost like a monk’s robe or some sort: he had a beard, and I asked the question: Father? Confused as to who he was. Then I woke up.

I am to be in the Church, why is to serve the leadership of the Church in obedience and submission to her, as the Church of Christ. Friar, monk, Jesuit, or Priest, I know not, but I have remained chaste my entire life, in the past to my dismay, but now do I understand. I am called to live obediently to His Spirit that is present in His Church.

Sorry for that being so long, but I’ve never been able to share this story with anyone. I feel relieved, and pray you may be able to see what I’ve gone through to get where I am, and why, perhaps, the wait for vocation may appear disconcerting, but absolutely worth suffering thorugh. This journey has been from, not just childhood, but it’s formation and strong development primarily from the Baptist church to where I am today was 7 years of long hard devotion to His will, and searching for the fullness of truth, even in times of great darkness and doubt, but knowing He would reveal it eventually: ‘Seek and ye shall find, Knock and it shall be opened to you.’

In Jesus our Lord and Savior, and with a heart longing to be in absolute submission to His will,

GloriaDei
 
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My return to the Catholic church followed very similar philosophical steps as yours. My last stop prior was neo-platonism and regular occult practice. What began to chip apart the walls I had built up around organized religion was a novena to St. Raphael that healed me of a chronic health issue, made another more bearable, and I truly believe saved my dog. Then I was caught between orthodoxy and catholicism, as the intercession of saints proved itself for my sake. After praying for help in discovering the truth I was reading about Fatima and the miracle of the sun. I began crying looking at the pictures of all the people and a picture of the Blessed Virgin. I’m a very unemotional man. That night I bought a rosary and have done my best to pray it everyday since. I was baptized as an infant but never received communion or confirmation and am beginning the process. The more I read about the beauty of Catholicism the more I am drawn to it and convinced it is the TRUTH. Thank the Lord in his mercy we’ve been blessed to have an experience to reveal to us the truth. Still a long way to go but I have and will cherish the journey. Good luck and God bless on yours.
 
That’s beautiful how God can bring even doubters like Thomas, or us, to be confronted with the fact that the truth was told us from the beginning, but some, perhaps that needed greater faith, needed to see, and were given sight to see the truth clearly beyond all doubt.
 
I absolutely will: I actually, having been Presbyterian (the ‘Reformed faith’), used to avidly follow James White and all of his debates. He is highly intelligent, however, if you really start to look at his worldview and opinions, most are stock answers of conservative Protestant academia of the modern day. That’s not to belittle him: I’m merely stating that he seems to be regurgitating everything that conservative Protestant seminaries or colleges would have taught him, seemingly without even being open to the possibility that anything he learned was false (ie, that the Nestle-Aland Text of the New Testament is the best foundation for all translations, despite the fact that it has gone through 29 editions, none of which portrays any New Testament manuscript that has ever existed throughout all of history and such like)

I also agree on the Freemason thing: my family has Freemasons in it, and they have practically manipulated and helped destroy my life, belittled me for everything I do, and have done everything possible to control me, especially after joining the Catholic Church. Freemasonry has infiltrated and destroyed the foundations of almost every Protestant denomination (for instance, it is rumored that most pastors in the Southern Baptist Convention are Freemasons, as well as the majority that hold any office in those churches), and has been attempting to do so also with the Catholic Church as their most bitterly hated enemy. They just fail to realize that the Catholic Church cannot have the gates of hell prevail against her.

I understand the New Age thing, but, please realize: the New Age is the very definition of pluralism of religion. It accepts only what is common to all faiths and rejects all specifics that make them unique. The New Age is a product very much of the Hippie Movement, but it’s roots taken further back can be traced to the Luciferian Gnosticism of Freemasonry. The main difference being that the New Age is less rationally grounded, and much more vague. It’s the Luciferian Gnosticism that has been created by Freemasonry to be consumed by the world. If you are familiar with these terms in ‘esoteric’ philosophy: true Luciferian Gnosticism is the ‘esoteric’, hidden, or secret knowledge of the ‘initiated’, while the New Age is the ‘exoteric’, revealed, or common knowledge intended for the ‘uninitiated’ into the Luciferian religion. Basically, it was created to dupe people into accepting Luciferianism, without knowing that they do.

You are in my prayers, and I hope and pray that you will begin to see how the Freemasons are essentially creating a society ripe for the accepting the ‘Serpent religion’ of Genesis in the Garden of Eden: ‘ye shall be as gods’ being his false promise.

In Love,
GloriaDei
 
I personally like praying the Rosary, Act of Contrition, the Guardian Angel Prayer in the day, and the St. Michael Prayer before bed.
 
I really liked your thesis in New Age and Freemasonry! If you finally discern to be a consecrated, I think you will be a very keen theologian.
 
Honestly, it’s quite difficult to tell if you’re an outsider to it, and especially if you equate it only so far back as the Hippie Movement. It’s only once you start to dig a while that you realize it as repackaged Gnosticism, minus it’s conclusions and Luciferian initiations. Alice A. Bailey’s ‘The Externalization of the Hierarchy’ openly talks about the Luciferian initiate’s plans to do everything necessary to take over every power structure and eventually to reveal ‘The (Anti)Christ’. The sad thing is that so many in the Church fail to see how this is connected to Freemasonry, and how influential thy actually are: there is a reason that the Catholic Church has had so many Popes write Encyclicals against their organization.

Humanum Genus, Leo XIII:
http://w2.vatican.va/content/leo-xi...nts/hf_l-xiii_enc_18840420_humanum-genus.html
In Eminenti, Clement XII:
http://freemasonry.bcy.ca/anti-masonry/papal/in_eminenti.html
Quanta Cura, Pius IX:

Quanta Cura - Papal Encyclicals

To Our Venerable Brethren, all Patriarchs, Primates, Archbishops, and Bishops having favor and Communion of the Holy See. Venerable Brethren, Health and Apostolic Benediction. With how great care and pastoral vigilance the Roman Pontiffs, our predecessors, fulfilling the duty and … Continue...
www.papalencyclicals.net www.papalencyclicals.net
 
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