My uncle committed suicide 2 days ago

[mikekle]

Found out earlier today my dads brother, my uncle committed suicide at a hotel on thursday. I was not that close to him, but did just talk to him last week, he said he was looking for a job, but was not having any luck, but I learned my neighbor had offered him a job the day before he took his own life, so I dont think he was wanting to find a job, he had been living on money left to him when his parent died, and he was never been the working type, he liked to lay around and watch tv instead of working.

Strangely though, he was VERY religious and devout catholic, he had a masters degree in theology and knew alot about the catholic church, I learned from my dad that he told people that God talked to him in dreams years ago too, so maybe he had some kind of mental problems.

The police that found his body said he had multiple religious books open, including the bible, so he was reading these things when he sliced his arms in a vertical manner, he knew how to do this so he would die, it is strange someone would do this while reading religious scripture…I guess he was hoping to be forgiven for this sin, but if he did it purely for the reason of not wanting to work and hold a job, I have a hard time believing he is in heaven.

I was somewhat sad about this, but when I learned he had been offered a job the day before, I lost all compassion that I did have and really do not even want to attend the funeral now, but probably will just to be there for my dad.

 

[Arizona_Mike]

I am so very sorry to hear that. You, your family and uncle are in my prayers.

We can’t presume to know what each man’s judgement will be, but at least we can take comfort in knowing that our Judge will be one who walked the earth as a man and experienced the suffering and sorrows we all do.

Suicide is often the last resort after numerous problems you may not have known about, and I wouldn’t presume it was purely because of his inability to find work. There may have been other problems in his life, and probably some mental illness as well. And I would note that “We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to Him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives.” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, section 2283).

My personal advice would be to try to go to the funeral, as an act of cardinal mercy for the rest of your family and his friends, who are probably feeling very alone and troubled now, and need your support and friendship. I’ve found this to be something worth thinking about, when debating whether I should go to a funeral: thisibelieve.org/essay/8/

Remember, we are Catholics. We don’t give up on our people just because they have died.

 

[severus68]

Found out earlier today my dads brother, my uncle committed suicide at a hotel on thursday. I was not that close to him, but did just talk to him last week, he said he was looking for a job, but was not having any luck, but I learned my neighbor had offered him a job the day before he took his own life, so I dont think he was wanting to find a job, he had been living on money left to him when his parent died, and he was never been the working type, he liked to lay around and watch tv instead of working.

Strangely though, he was VERY religious and devout catholic, he had a masters degree in theology and knew alot about the catholic church, I learned from my dad that he told people that God talked to him in dreams years ago too, so maybe he had some kind of mental problems.

The police that found his body said he had multiple religious books open, including the bible, so he was reading these things when he sliced his arms in a vertical manner, he knew how to do this so he would die, it is strange someone would do this while reading religious scripture…I guess he was hoping to be forgiven for this sin, but if he did it purely for the reason of not wanting to work and hold a job, I have a hard time believing he is in heaven.

I was somewhat sad about this, but when I learned he had been offered a job the day before, I lost all compassion that I did have and really do not even want to attend the funeral now, but probably will just to be there for my dad.

I am so sorry. Prayers for him.

You would not know what was going through his mind before he did this. The Church itself does not condemn him. Please just pray for him and go to the funeral for your father and his other loved ones. Arizona Mike has given you good advice.

God guide and bless you.

 

[Pilosopo]

I am very sorry.
My prayers go out to you, family and friends.
It leads me to question the meaning of my own life.
Dear Lord, grant us all, the gift of joy.

 

[AuntyP]

May the Lord have mercy on his soul.

You shouldn’t be judging your uncle. Very few of us would be worthy of compassion if it were confined to those who appear to be righteous. You don’t know what was going on in your uncle’s mind…whether he was suffering from abject loneliness, low self esteem or depression. People can be extremely lonely even among family and friends. You don’t know whether he made an act of perfect contrition before losing consciousness. You don’t know how God will judge him.

Go to the funeral and offer Communion for the repose of his soul, and keep him in your future prayers.

 

[Delaine75]

I am so sorry. I will pray for his soul and for the whole family. We can’t presume to know whether a person is or is not in heaven because only God knows the state of their heart and mind when they leave this life.

 

[mikekle]

Thanks for the replies, I have decided I am going to funeral, mainly for my dad. I also want to acknowledge what was mentioned in many posts above, that none of knows for sure what was in my uncles mind, or how God will judge him, this is between him and God and no one else, all I can do is guess, which is really pointless anyway. Im assuming he did this perfect contrition before doing the act, as Ive heard him say many years ago it was possible for one to kill himself and go to heaven if they follow certain guidelines and do things in a particular order and fashion, so I bet hes been considering this for awhile. He was very smart when it came to all things religion, he had so many books, it looked like a Vatican library!

Myself, I could never do this, even though I do believe in God, that little voice tells me not one single person has ever come back to tell us exactly what happens right when we die, therefore if I think my life is so bad dying is the best way out, I MAY wake up in a place MUCH MUCH worse than my current situation, this fact alone keeps me far away from suicidal thoughts. I could not imagine suddenly waking up somewhere and realizing what I had done to myself, and then realizing I was in hell and saw the horrific things people claim it holds within its gates, and also knowing there is absolutely no way out…for eternity!!! This scares me just to think about!

Thanks again for the replies.

 

[AuntyP]

Good that you’re going to the funeral. You’re right in your belief that no matter how bad this life is, suicide could land us in a far, far worse situation. Your uncle’s understanding was simply wrong, but only God knows where he is now. Keep praying for him, and please accept my sympathy for your loss.

God bless, and may your uncle rest in peace. (Say a Divine Mercy chaplet for him. I’ll include him in mine next time).

 

[EasterJoy]

Thanks for the replies, I have decided I am going to funeral, mainly for my dad. I also want to acknowledge what was mentioned in many posts above, that none of knows for sure what was in my uncles mind, or how God will judge him, this is between him and God and no one else, all I can do is guess, which is really pointless anyway. Im assuming he did this perfect contrition before doing the act, as Ive heard him say many years ago it was possible for one to kill himself and go to heaven if they follow certain guidelines and do things in a particular order and fashion, so I bet hes been considering this for awhile. He was very smart when it came to all things religion, he had so many books, it looked like a Vatican library!

Myself, I could never do this, even though I do believe in God, that little voice tells me not one single person has ever come back to tell us exactly what happens right when we die, therefore if I think my life is so bad dying is the best way out, I MAY wake up in a place MUCH MUCH worse than my current situation, this fact alone keeps me far away from suicidal thoughts. I could not imagine suddenly waking up somewhere and realizing what I had done to myself, and then realizing I was in hell and saw the horrific things people claim it holds within its gates, and also knowing there is absolutely no way out…for eternity!!! This scares me just to think about!

Thanks again for the replies.

What depression, especially chronic depression, can do to your ability to think clearly beggars belief. It is like being left to fly a plane in the dark, or with distorted windows, with only the instruments to guide you. It is exhausting, and it is very easy to decide that the instruments can’t possibly be reading correctly.

Pray for your uncle, and all of those who fight depression. May your uncle and other victims of suicide find forgiveness and total mercy, and may they rest in peace.