My vent about DH venting about Mass

[BLB_Oregon]

Seriously, I enjoyed Mass today - except for the African drum beats. And I dont’ think my kids would have seen anything that indicated otherwise.

I will give my DH credit for coming to Mass. That’s at least as much as most of the other men we are acquainted with. He’s been slacking lately - but in general, he is there most Sundays. He also makes it possible for me to go a couple of mornings during the week, and for that I am grateful.

We are in a Cub Scout Pack that is associated with the Catholic school the kids attend, and my oldest will be moving shortly to a Boy Scout Troop that we are resurrecting. The Scoutmaster is Catholic, and I imagine that most of the boys and other leaders will be, too. However, I’m not so sure that “men who love their faith” would be an accurate description. I’m afraid there’s a lot that they aren’t learning about being a man from their Dad. He kind of views life as a spectator sport.

As for male relatives that attend Mass - there would be my dad, my 90 year old grandfather, and my husband’s sister’s husband (who attends the speed church)…

…We will continue to attend the “speed church” sometimes, as they offer a Sunday evening Mass and our parish does not. Sometimes when we have weekend Scout activities, Sunday evening is the only Mass we can make. And he will likely come with me sometimes, as he likes to see the kids serve.

Thanks for your take on the subject. You have some good ideas. Quite possibly, I’m not the only mom in the world with these issues. I will pray for my DH, and maybe fasting would help as well. I mostly deal with things with honey, but sometimes the vinegar seeps out.

I think our parish is taking down the decorations this year on Monday, too, because of the way the liturgical calendar worked out, even though they do it on Sunday most years. Of course, if you have a Sunday evening Mass at your parish, probably your parish does it on Monday every year. The decorations need to be up for all the Christmas season Masses, then taken down as soon as possible thereafter.

But do the grounds need work in the fall, is there some sort of grunt work required for the parish fundraiser, that sort of thing? Boys connect by doing, not just by talking. If they can be useful in their parish during the years when they are proud to be able to be useful, they’re more likely to see their parish as a community they belong to and that needs them, and not a place that puts on a weekly performance for which their attendance is (fortunately or unfortunately) compulsory.

As for the speed thing, I will tell you that my own dad is quite devout, daily rosaries, daily Mass when he could make it, goes to confession, the whole nine yards…he is still like a cat in a bonnet in church. Music is a penance, except when it is a guitar Mass, in which case it is hell. Did I mention that his sister is the parish organist, his brother helps lead the Christmas choir, and his own dad loved music? It just didn’t connect with him. It isn’t just his sister, either. It doesn’t matter where, when the singing starts, Dad starts looking like he’s going to be asked to publicly share his feelings on marital intimacy…in other words, as if there is essentially no place on the planet he wouldn’t rather be.

Any homily over ten minutes would earn Dad’s homilist some ribbing after Mass. Dad said that if you keep talking after ten minutes, it is like pouring good whiskey in a jigger and continuing to pour after it was full…just a waste, and that is all there is to it. He grew up and brought us up in parishes where the pastor flew through Mass and then everyone stood around and talked for half an hour after Church. He sees liturgy as necessary work that should be devoutly dispatched of as quickly as possible, like the legends you hear about what sex was for married Victorian women…“Close your eyes, dear, and think of England!”

If you can’t find men who “love their faith”, at least find some that take the obligation seriously. You do what you can. Sometimes, what God does not provide indirectly, through people, He provides directly, by His own personal intervention. He is, after all, a Father, too. Don’t be afraid to ask for his parenting for your sons in your prayers.

As Mother Theresa was fond of saying, God does not call us to be successful. God calls us to be faithful. Be as faithful as you can, and leave the pace of success to God. Where God means to succeed, God will succeed.

PS I would be a bit careful on giving him books. This isn’t to say “don’t do it”, just be tactful. If I read him correctly, he is likely to rebel at the thought that you see him as your personal spiritual “fixer-upper”. Better to improve on your side of the fence, hoping that it will one day it might prompt the guy next door to borrow your mower.

 

[Kanda]

Maybe you could visit other parishes in your area and find one with a style that appeals to your husband. Then, you could rotate parishes every other week. This would be a good way to introduce your boys to other people in the faith and to expand your ‘church family’ as well.

Maybe a compromise like this could work?

 

[LSK]

I would also suggest to DH that it is now HIS responsibility to explain to his sons, especially the one who echoed his sentiments, why going to Mass is not about being entertained it is about giving glory and honor to GOD…he owes his son an apology for that little tirade.

 

[BLB_Oregon]

I would also suggest to DH that it is now HIS responsibility to explain to his sons, especially the one who echoed his sentiments, why going to Mass is not about being entertained it is about giving glory and honor to GOD…he owes his son an apology for that little tirade.

I would approach this carefully, however. You don’t want to find yourself getting the wrong answers to what you thought were rhetorical questions!

If in doubt, ask as if the answer were a real question, and let what follows be a discussion, not a school marm/student interaction.

The question I refer to is “Why do we go to Mass?” Do not assume that the answer is obvious to everyone involved, and by all means avoid a debate on the subject in front of the kids.

 

[Rainbow77]

Yes, I think his biggest complaints were the music and the length of the Mass. And yes, the expression of his opinion left a lot to be desired. He didn’t say, “wow that music was really bad” He usually thinks that his opinion is fact. If he says it’s bad, then it’s bad. End of discussion.

Good golly, acadian, are you married to MY husband? Sounds like they think alike.

My husband’s parents didn’t like “high” mass where music was played, so my husband believes that “low” mass (AKA the first Mass in the morning) “should be” no music and about 20 minutes long. We get into arguments all the time about this.

I love music, though African drum beat music would feel awkward to me. I love a decently long homily (not a 2 minute one, and not those long drawn out ones of 20 minutes) that has a moral point to it, hopefully with points about how to incorporate what was in the readings that day with modern day life situations.

I have come to complain about a new deacon at our church who’s sermons are long and have multi-tagents and hard to follow. AND HE READS THE WHOLE THING LIKE HE’S READING A BOOK. It it terrible.

Previously, a former associate pastor at our Church liked to sing about 2/3 of the Eucharistic Prayer, and every time he did I got to hear DH complain about that cause it added too much time (about 1.5 minutes, I actually timed 2 Masses and compared the actual reading time to the singing time). I told my DH that it was only 1.5 minutes longer than when read and he didn’t believe me. (I could have taped the mass and showed the time it took and he still would have said it was longer). For some reason what he thinks things should be is fact and truth, and what I have to say on anything of religious nature, esp Catholic things, is wrong. And for me, that hurts and I get angry and well, not act too good of a Catholic. It’s not that I have to be right about anything, but it’s more that I know what the Church teaches on stuff, and he just won’t believe it when I say it, and he refuses to read the catechism and be catechized by anyone. He knows what he “knows” and thinks that is gospel truth. It aggravates me that he is closed minded about the whole thing.

Most churches we have been too in our area do not have a true “low mass” with no choir or cantor singing anymore. He misses that. I love the singing. I often wish he would go to a different Mass and let me do my Saturday Evening Mass by myself. I would get more out of the whole thing, but if left to his own devices, he would not go to Church at all. It is very aggravating.

By the way , we do not have children, so that obligation is not a part of our lives. And in a way, that is very good for me, cause I am sure that would add more stress and friction to our fractured marriage.

 

[BLB_Oregon]

Good golly, acadian, are you married to MY husband? Sounds like they think alike.

My husband’s parents didn’t like “high” mass where music was played, so my husband believes that “low” mass (AKA the first Mass in the morning) “should be” no music and about 20 minutes long. We get into arguments all the time about this.

I love music, though African drum beat music would feel awkward to me. I love a decently long homily (not a 2 minute one, and not those long drawn out ones of 20 minutes) that has a moral point to it, hopefully with points about how to incorporate what was in the readings that day with modern day life situations.

I have come to complain about a new deacon at our church who’s sermons are long and have multi-tagents and hard to follow. AND HE READS THE WHOLE THING LIKE HE’S READING A BOOK. It it terrible.

Previously, a former associate pastor at our Church liked to sing about 2/3 of the Eucharistic Prayer, and every time he did I got to hear DH complain about that cause it added too much time (about 1.5 minutes, I actually timed 2 Masses and compared the actual reading time to the singing time). I told my DH that it was only 1.5 minutes longer than when read and he didn’t believe me. (I could have taped the mass and showed the time it took and he still would have said it was longer). For some reason what he thinks things should be is fact and truth, and what I have to say on anything of religious nature, esp Catholic things, is wrong. And for me, that hurts and I get angry and well, not act too good of a Catholic. It’s not that I have to be right about anything, but it’s more that I know what the Church teaches on stuff, and he just won’t believe it when I say it, and he refuses to read the catechism and be catechized by anyone. He knows what he “knows” and thinks that is gospel truth. It aggravates me that he is closed minded about the whole thing.

Most churches we have been too in our area do not have a true “low mass” with no choir or cantor singing anymore. He misses that. I love the singing. I often wish he would go to a different Mass and let me do my Saturday Evening Mass by myself. I would get more out of the whole thing, but if left to his own devices, he would not go to Church at all. It is very aggravating.

By the way , we do not have children, so that obligation is not a part of our lives. And in a way, that is very good for me, cause I am sure that would add more stress and friction to our fractured marriage.

This may be time for an “agree to disagree”, for the time being? As in: I will go to your favorite Mass and not complain or nag you on the condition that you will go to my favorite Mass on alternate weeks and not complain or nag me, and anyone who breaks the rule gets to go to the Mass of the other person’s choice for a month straight. You can make long lovelies like Easter Vigil or Holy Week being optional (meaning, possibly solo for you), with you going with him on Easter morning, if he chooses not to go to the Vigil Mass. And promise to re-visit the arrangement at a specified date. After all, there is nothing like going to something you love and knowing that your spouse would like to whine, but is rather doing willingly, for your sake. This is a great show of love.

I look at this as being in the category where marriage is a sacrament in which you find in your spouse another Christ, as truly present–even if not truly present par excellence, as in the case of the Eucharist-- as in any sacrament. Nevertheless, it is a Presence you have to dispose yourself to receive. Sometimes, the disguise of Christ in one’s spouse is more difficult than any other!

The other thing this does is to free you to say, “You know, I’m not into the deacon’s homilies at the 8:30 Mass. Maybe we can do the Mass at your favorite location on his weeks to preach?” In other words, you don’t have to defend someone that you don’t like much better than your spouse does. You are free to choose based solely on what you honestly see as the best choice, from your own point of view, and without having to defend it for any reason except that it suits you.

 

[leonie]

I was talking to a Legionary priest last night. He said that if both parents are practicing Catholics, only fifty percent of the kids practice. I was shocked by this, but he shrugged and said it was the state of the world. He said if only the mom practices, less than 25% of the kids practice. And, if just the Dad practices…**85% of the kids practice. **Wow.

Dads make all the difference.

I was sharing this with my indifferent nonCatholic spouse last night. He was really quiet about it. I don’t know what was going through his head.

But, every year (on the New Year) I ask God what gift he wants to give me this year–in past years I’ve heard in my heart things like self-denial (that was a hard year), joy, the rosary. This year, I sensed Him asking me what I wanted Him to give me. I asked for my husband’s conversion–not just to the faith, but to fervent love.

As for myself, I plan to be a better wife for him this year. Also, I am going to fast on Wednesdays and pray a daily rosary for him in particular.

I just wanted to share.

 

[acadian]

I hope this won’t make you mad, but I got a good laugh reading your post. That’s a good thing too. I really needed it.

Seriously though, you’ve got to admire their dedication to their faith if they remain Catholic all these years even though they can’t stand Mass. Wouldn’t it be nice if there were Mass Appreciation classes just like there are Art Appreciation classes?

No offense taken. My in-laws are fairly dedicated Catholics - my BIL converted several years ago. They’re good people - just no attention spans, so the shorter the better. Love the Mass Appreciation Class idea!

Can you step it up a notch with your sons and their involvement in Catholic activities?

An ongoing goal to be sure. They are altar servers, and do a good bit of service in conjunction with their school and scouts.

BLB - Loved the story about your dad and your Mother Theresa quote. So true! I also agree with your analogy about working on things on my side of the fence, so that maybe the guy next door will want to borrow the mower. Some day.

Leonie - I read the link about fathers influencing the religious practice of their children. All I could say was “WOW”. I was amazed.

All of those who think we’re married to the same man - what can I say - LOL!

Rainbow - I loved your story about timing the Eucharistic prayer. I think you might be married to my husband’s lost twin.

The last few times we’ve been to the “speed Mass”, they’ve had an associate priest saying Mass. He has READ/mumbled his homily - all 90 seconds of it. And I’m thinking - he could’t memorize 4 sentences??

As far as visiting other parishes, we’ve BTDT over the years. We will still sometimes go to other churches as our schedule dictates. Sometimes SUnday evening is the only time we can make it, and our parish doesn’t have Sunday evening Mass. But for now, this is our parish. The kids serve at least twice a month, most months, and there is some sense of community for me and the kids with the other people there. DH is not very sociable, and that is not something that has ever seemed to matter to him regarding churches.

Thanks to all for your (name removed by moderator)ut.

 

[acadian]

Sometimes, the disguise of Christ in one’s spouse is more difficult than any other!

This is so, so true! Thanks for the reminder.

 

[kage_ar]

Maybe get a copy of “The Lamb’s Supper - The Mass as Heaven on Earth” by Scott Hahn, after you have been seen reading it - leave it lying about in strategic places for DH to pick up?

 

[AELondon]

My suggestions:

1. As others have said, let him go to Mass somewhere else if he can’t act like a grownup. Lovingly explain to him that you would prefer to attend Mass as a complete family, but that you can’t allow his actions to negatively affect your children.
2. Don’t retreat from Catholic devotions. Embrace them. Pray the rosary. Read the Bible with your children. Pray with your children before bedtime. Etc, Etc… And most importantly smile and be filled with Christ’s joy while you do so.
3. Pray for him. We will too.

God Bless!

 

[maria29]

****The book that i had recommended for your husband in aprevious post “why Catholics Don’t Sing” is by Thomas Day…Its extremely well written and may help him better understand the mass as well.

I’m still not clear about what he thought “Sucked” …the whole mass in general or just portions of it? And is it that he didn’t understand the homily or just didn’t like it.

 

[loouuii]

I used to be just like DH. I always left early. I always went to the short masses. That was in the mid 60s when I found a lame excuse for not going at all and quit going altogether.

Fast forward to current times; I felt that something was missing and discovered it was church. I had memories of the novenas as I was growing up in a big northern city. I used to love going to a novena. I had mixed feelings about mass because my parents didn’t attend but my grandparents did and they were my spiritual guidance. I went back to church and even went through RCIA because of all the changes. I love mass and feel as if it is way too short. It ends just as soon as it starts in my mind, even if it is an hour and a half long. We have a contemporary choir at our mass. The ”short” mass is on Saturday evening and their music is like attending a funeral. I really enjoy going.

The bottom line is this - you can’t make him like any part of a mass. He has to want it. If his thoughts and views on the mass differ from yours then I would say let him go his own way and you continue to be a good role model for your children. He will come around one day and until then you and your children will enjoy mass.

 

[Contarini]

Ever since I’ve known him, his whole family has had a preoccupation with how long Mass is. They used to go to Mass at the hospital because it had a 30 minute or less Mass on Sundays, and now they’ve discovered a parish where on Sunday evenings, there is no music and about a 90 second homily. In and out in 25-30 minutes.

Anyone with any words of wisdom to offer?

As a non-Catholic with a lot of interest in Catholicism and a lot of Catholic friends, I can say that this seems like a typical attitude among many (obviously not all, as you demonstrate) cradle Catholics, even very devout ones. Thomas Day (Why Catholics Can’t Sing) tells the story of his family (pre-Vatican-II) arriving at what they thought was a Low Mass, only to leave in disgust (and come back for a later mass) when they discovered it was a High Mass.

One very traditional Catholic friend of mine used to quote (somewhat tongue-in-cheek) a saying of Hilaire Belloc that if Mass took longer than 20 minutes (speaking of a daily low mass here, I believe) he knew the priest was a Modernist.

I find this attitude hard to take, but it seems to be a cultural thing rather than a lack of piety. Or rather it reflects a particular kind of piety (however unfortunate I may see it) in which the experience of the liturgy itself counts for nothing. This is one of the things that really puts me off about Catholicism, I have to admit. From my perspective, the Liturgy should take as long as it takes and if that means you spend most of Sunday morning in church, that’s more or less the way it should be.

But then I enjoy church (admittedly, if I had to put up with the Novus Ordo as currently translated and as generally celebrated in the U.S. I wouldn’t enjoy it as much). Not everyone does, and I don’t think it’s a spiritual thing per se. It’s a matter of personality, taste, and cultural background.

Edwin

 

[whatevergirl]

My take on it is to meet him where he is. After all, by your own admission, you didn’t think that liturgy was entirely awesome, even though you told your family that you did. If the kids saw the look on your face during Mass, it is altogether likely that they see the disconnect between what you say and how you act, right?

Your husband comes to Mass, so give him credit for that and encourage that. In fact, give him extra credit for going even though he does not get the gift of emotional consolation from it. Yes, I know that this is a gift unlikely to be given to those who don’t look for it, but it is a gift, all the same, a gift which makes the duty light and easy to bear. Likewise, “getting it” is a gift that not all are given. Maybe through your prayers and continued pursuit of virtue, your husband will desire to pursue that gift some day. Far stranger things have happened.

Also, don’t be so sure that he doesn’t enjoy seeing an Advent wreath in the house or hearing the Rosary said. There are a lot of people who balk at going to Mass or taking the trouble for religious observances, but later they are glad these things are there. After all, Jesus thirsts for the soul of your DH, and not just your sons. Do not let that fish off the hook so easily…and don’t forget that honey draws more flies than vinegar.

What I* would* do is to make certain that your son has contact with grown men who love their faith. A Catholic Boy Scout troop would be a good example. Taking them to help at every parish work day you can make is another. Letting them spend weekends with male relatives who’ll take them to Mass is another. If the comparison is between men in vestments or done up in plaster and their flesh and blood dad, then their dad is the one they are more likely to emulate.

Boys do not learn how to be men from their dads alone. Again, if the topic comes up, I’d speak of what these men have in terms of a gift they have been given, not something that they excel at that DH doesn’t. The idea is not to set up a competition. The idea is that the boys see and say, “Dad may not have it, but that is what I want.” If there is no competition, they won’t feel as if they have betrayed their dad for wanting for themselves what he does not want for himself.

I actually second this motion…not the motion to leave our husband behind, of course unless he refuses to go to mass. But, not attending mass…collectively as a family…shows your children something different. Not something better, just another alternative to listening to your husband ‘vent.’ My husband has done this, whereby he wants to be the first in the car, hightailing it out of the parking lot. One day I said…'how do you make such a disconnect between the beauty and peace of the mass, and treating those around you." (pulling out in front of people right after mass?? We then spoke after mass on that one day, and we agreed that if we dislike something about our faith, we will discuss it in private.

Maybe just explain to your husband that this isn’t helping…his reactions and venting and complaining about mass…isn’t helping. Mass isn’t really about entertainment. It’s about receiving the Eucharist…it’s about worshipping God…it’s about deepening our faith…it’s about soaking in the words of encouragement…even if the Homily isn’t the ‘greatest.’ I will pray for you guys…I think it will work out. But, don’t leave your hubby behind. Actually, our marriage has to come before our parenthood…Your kids are your responsibility, but your husband…he is the rock. He might need some encouragement. Again, if he refuses, it’s one thing. But, I would hesitate to just say…go by yourself. God will help you…and him. God bless!

 

[wifenmommy]

Ask St Joseph to pray for your dh that his heart will be in the right place for ANY Mass! By the way Acadian, would you happen to be in Louisiana?? I am ----in Acadiana!!

 

[acadian]

Ask St Joseph to pray for your dh that his heart will be in the right place for ANY Mass! By the way Acadian, would you happen to be in Louisiana?? I am ----in Acadiana!!

Well, you might be my neighbor! I grew up in BR, but I came to Acadiana to attend UL (then USL), and I’ve been here ever since. Married a Cajun. Love the people, the food, joie de vivre, but not the summer heat.

 

[Preacher_Vern]

Can I vent about my husband’s vent?

My DH is a cradle Catholic, as am I, and we have 2 boys ages 9 and 11. I make sure that the boys and I attend Mass every Sunday, Holy Days of Obligation, and sometimes during the week (both went with me to 6:30 am on Friday). I take the kids (and myself) to confession occasionally. DH will attend Sunday Mass if he is not working - though he will often wait until Sunday evening to attend, and then get called on a job shortly before Mass time and end up missing Mass altogether. Holy Days of Obligation - forget about those.

The parish that we belong to is a small one. The music is quite an eclectic mix. We have gospel, spirituals, classical, chants, contemporary, traditional, etc. Some of it isn’t my cup of tea, but life goes on. The choir is not the best musical talent I’ve ever heard, but it’s better than what I could do.

Today the Opening Rite seemed to take forever. We recited the Confeiteor (sp?), the Kyrie was sung (in Greek, but with what sounded like African drums on the 2nd time through) and the Gloria was sung.

Our pastor is not in any race to get through Mass. His homily is slow and deliberate. Often meaningful and thoughtful but not highly entertaining.

There is a solo/meditative music during the distribution of Holy Communion, and after everything has been put away and the priest sits back down, there is a communion hymn. Then there is a recessional after the final blessing.

After an hour and 15 minutes, DH couldn’t get out of there fast enough today. We get in the car and he exclaims, “That SUCKED!” I countered with “I thought it was awesome!”, but he continued and our 9 year old picked up his chorus - “Yeah, it was awful!” The music was terrible and too much (he liked the African drum bit). He didn’t hear/listen to/understand the homily.

You know, I thought we’re trying to raise Catholic children here. His oldest son is 30, now and attending an Assembly of God church with his [cradle catholic] wife and 5 children, because they “hated” Mass. I told him later, that if he had that reaction when he was attending Mass with his oldest son, then it was no wonder he was not practicing now. DH gives him a lot of grief for not attending a Catholic church and not baptizing his babies, but sheesh! I told him that he took the most sacred prayer the church has to offer, and told our kids that it sucked. “I wasn’t talking about the Mass. I was talking about the music. And besides an hour and 15 minutes is entirely too long.” Ever since I’ve known him, his whole family has had a preoccupation with how long Mass is. They used to go to Mass at the hospital because it had a 30 minute or less Mass on Sundays, and now they’ve discovered a parish where on Sunday evenings, there is no music and about a 90 second homily. In and out in 25-30 minutes.

Anyone with any words of wisdom to offer?

The Church should be a community of dates instead of pumpkins. Pumpkins you can harvest in six months. Dates have to be planted and tended by people who will not live to harvest them. Dates are for future generations, May God Bless.

 

[OldAgeGuru]

As a non-Catholic with a lot of interest in Catholicism and a lot of Catholic friends, I can say that this seems like a typical attitude among many (obviously not all, as you demonstrate) cradle Catholics, even very devout ones. Thomas Day (Why Catholics Can’t Sing) tells the story of his family (pre-Vatican-II) arriving at what they thought was a Low Mass, only to leave in disgust (and come back for a later mass) when they discovered it was a High Mass.

I find this attitude hard to take, but it seems to be a cultural thing rather than a lack of piety. Or rather it reflects a particular kind of piety (however unfortunate I may see it) in which the experience of the liturgy itself counts for nothing. This is one of the things that really puts me off about Catholicism, I have to admit. From my perspective, the Liturgy should take as long as it takes and if that means you spend most of Sunday morning in church, that’s more or less the way it should be.

Edwin

See I can see where your husband is coming from regarding the music. My family belong to a parrish where music is just not a priority. Theres a song at the beginning, one at communion and one at the end. That’s it. And we like it that way. Yes it gets us out of there faster. But that’s not why we like it. I find the music distracting. I really only enjoy it on Christmas and Easter. I’d rather be able to sit and reflect quietly. As for the homily, well, one priest is a movie ruiner, so I tend to tune him out, which I know is technically wrong, BUT HE RUINS MOVIES. and not old ones, but ones that are released the day before. If he doesn’t have a funeral, he goes to movies all day on friday and sees them all. The spills the dirt on each of them in his homily. When it’s the other priest I pay attention, he’s funny, poignant and is easy to understand.

Everytime I go to a mass outside of my church and theres a ton of music I don’t get annoyed really, but it does get a brief eye roll from me. Moreso if it’s a wedding that’s already running late. I went to one that had a 5 minute song break every time you blinked an eye, and it started 45 minutes late. By the time they got to the vows, I was already jonesing for a cigarette and the promise of free wine at the reception and completely tuned out for the remaing 40 minutes (40 MINUTES!!! not including the receiving line!! another 25 for that) afterwards. I just kept making mental notes about what I want for my wedding that’s coming up, like arrive on time, and not every second of mass needs to have musical accompaniment. The reception was bad too so I guess I should have seen it as a sign.

 

[Norseman82]

Here is the way I look at it: suffering through an hour of a “bad” Mass is better than suffering through an eternity of hell for committing the mortal sin of missing Mass. That, and the fact that no matter how bad the music or preaching or whatever else is, the center is the Eucharist Itself; that single fact has kept me focused.

I forbid all watches or anything else with a clock on it during mass. They stay at home or in the car. That goes for everyone. Child and adult alike.

I normally will only check my watch to make sure that Mass is not going too quickly to make that any late breakfast is not withing the hour fast period (I live only a few blocks away from my parish).