D
Domiy
Guest
This has nothing to do with pride, just my sense of strong feelings about how I see the matter (for my own good). I’l admit, completing my degree is not something I would like to do; it has gotten to the point where it’s hard to imagine attending classes and doing projects that involve looking for jobs and memorizing worthless information. Previously, my professors, peers and friends had all commented on the fact that the only reason to look to complete it would be so I can attain a job in the field. However, with that possibly out of the scenario I don’t see the use, especially seeing as seminary training goes for 6-8 years I’d be losing valuable time in my mission.You’re not willing to give up your pride. You believe that you know better than anyone else what being a Franciscan and a priest requires, even though you are neither a Franciscan nor a priest.
I never said I would leave it to CAF to decide. I’l discuss the issue more with my priest and parents, and my feelings would ultimately come from what I think God wants of me. I hope people can understand and respect that. I know God has some great plans for me, and completing a degree in a field like Business would definitely leave me open to more possibilities in life. However, I don’t know how I would feel about that in the future; I’d be a Franciscan ideally, so it wouldn’t be in my nature to think from a ‘money-business’ point of view for the sake of the Church. The way I see it, any business dealings that the Church needs can be left to the Vatican; I’m entering priesthood to get away from the whole money-making and strategic way of the world. Priests should only be in charge of basic budgeting and finances for their assigned parish, which anyone can realistically do or learn without the slightest clue of business. I’m not sure I’d feel right about my bishop’s ‘potential’ plans for using my background to be some sort of super-priest money-making Church-advertising strategic-thinking budget-efficient businessmen. If I felt I could help the Church that way, I’d do so as a parishioner. Otherwise, all I see my business degree as right now is a foolish choice I made when I was younger and under pressure to do something with my life. I’m glad for the experience it’s given me thus far, but other than that I still see it as just a foolish dream that I had as a young kid before I began to really take my faith seriously. I entered University at the same time that I thought having a girlfriend and making lots of money whatever way possible was a good idea as well; I was wrong about everything else, so I’d inclined to think I was wrong about this as well.
As I said, I appreciate everyones concern and response, but I didn’t ask for a binding decision and bombardment of reasons. I simply asked for an opinion and gave my own in response. If I were a priest one day and advising somebody in my position who was looking to enter the priesthood but had a relationship going, I don’t think I’d be justified to say “go and attain some more relationship experience first and then come into the seminary”, even though it sounds crazy enough to work. Priests need to know more about relationships than they do about budgeting and business, and relationship stuff can’t be taught, but you’d never hear a spiritual director say that for the good of the Church a seminarian should have at least been in a relationship before. I think the best thing to say would be: “take what you have learned so far and use it, there’s no need to be running in the other direction if you feel a call towards God”. Most people called me crazy when I broke up with my long-term girlfriend all of a sudden, and for a while I questioned myself over that very decision. But it led me to a whole new outlook on life, one that ultimately strengthened my relationship with God and helped me realize my calling. It is for this reason that I trust my own judgement; it hasn’t steered me wrong so far, and I don’t see why I should go against it when I have the best adviser of all pulling me towards His will; God.
ACTS 5:28 tells us that we should listen to God, not men. I’m not saying that I know what God wants without a doubt, but praying for His will to be done has led me here with strong feelings so far, so I’l continue to do so and see where it takes me. I’m aware that my spiritual director may be wiser and more experienced than I am, but He doesn’t know God’s will for me. The only person who can figure out what God wants of me is me.