My Wife Divorcing Me After 3 months

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GypsyWarrior

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Hello friends. Not so fairly new here but rarely post. In a bind here. Very devastated about receiving Divorce paperwork in the mail yesterday. My wife and I have known each other for 10 years. We have 2 children . Girls 3 and 5. She has 2 other kids 16 and 14 from 2 previous relationships. Our kids were born before our marriage in the Church (yes morally wrong I know). She is 31 and I am 42. I had a fairly normal childhood and raised Catholic. She was baptized Catholic but family rarely attended mass. Father sexually molested her sister and her as a child and ended up in prison. He died 4 years ago. She never got therapy for this and lived in foster care as a teen cause her mom had a breakdown. Long story short I relocated to Arizona for a good job opportunity to better take care of my new family. Doing very well here but we have argued about her wanting to stay in upper peninsula of Michigan where I have enemies and can’t find productive work. She agreed to come to Arizona, sell her house find work there etc. We got into a minor argument over the children around Halloween. Long story short she drove to Arizona brought local Police along took the children and yesterday I received Divorce paperwork. I’m devastated. I’m not a perfect Catholic but don’t believe in divorce. What to do. Please pray for me. My children cry for me every night.
 
I’m so sorry to hear that. 😦

Get yourself an attorney to protect your parental rights. I don’t live in AZ, but I don’t think one spouse can just “take the children”.
 
Thank you for your prayers. I’m going up there in a couple of days to give her and the children Christmas a little early with gifts. I’m praying for her to have a change of heart. I honestly don’t know what the issue is. She has told me it’s because I’m too close to my family and does not wish to live in Arizona but remain in Upper Michigan. These issues we discussed before marriage. I told these are not grounds for annulment. I double checked with my parish priest. She claims her parish priest says it is. So I will be chatting with him when I get there.
 
It’s not a confrontation. I’m going to the house with a friend. I did promise my children Christmas gifts. She knows I’m coming. But yes you’re right. Working on a lawyer. This is just wrong. Married in the Church. Both Catholic. Don’t know why she is seeking divorce.
 
Well, perhaps you do know why. She wants to stay in Michigan and not live in Arizona. I know you said you talked to her before, but she obviously didn’t want to move.

You need to ask yourself what you are willing to do to keep your family together. You need to consider if you can somehow move back to Michigan whether your wife continues with the divorce or not, so you can stay in your children’s lives.

It’s hard to believe this is as out of the blue as you say. You mentioned arguing in October about the move to Arizona.

Have you offered to go to counseling and ask her if she would be willing to try working things out? Would she stay married if you were to move back to Michigan?
 
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I’ve considered all that. She doesn’t want counseling. I’ve mentioned that. She has hinted that she will stay if I move back. This is not just Michigan she wishes to stay. It’s a very small community in the Upper Penninusla of Michigan. A place I’ve experienced a great deal of prejudice. I’m a dark complected Romany(aka Gypsy) . The ignorant people in this community often mistake me for Muslim Arab. I have lost jobs and gotten into fights on the streets because of this ignorance and she knows it. Is the reason I left. It’s not fair. I have to keep promises and she doesn’t. I’m entitled to productive work. I have no problems of this nature in Arizona. Upper Penninusla of Michigan I will eventually end up in jail.
 
Why would you end up in jail?

If your wife said she would stay married if you move back to Michigan, then you need to discuss things further.

Where is the compromise on both sides? There has to be a solution that works for both of you. Perhaps a different area in Michigan, but still close enough for her to see her family , but far enough away that people would be different toward you.
 
I prayed for you. I believe this is a spiritual attack (the devil hates marriage and hates families, because God instituted them). Pray and ask as many as you can to pray for you! Don’t give up and trust in God! He is with you and He has a plan!
 
LeahPaz I like your answer the best. I’ve been thinking exactly what you said all day today. Thank you.
 
I want to establish with no doubt that you should talk to a lawyer before you even think about contact. And if this follower through and she us allowed to keep kids in a different state you will need to find employment near your kids.
 
Irishmom2 I would end up in jail due to racially based violent confrontation. No there is not a compromise. The whole upper peninsula of Michigan is like this. She won’t move to Southern Michigan near Detroit. Where I’m originally from. She is bullheaded and stubborn. Not to mention I’m 42. I can’t keep starting over. She is only 31.
 
I’ve lived in UP Michigan. I’ve not witnessed the prejudice you speak of. They seem to be extremely open and certainly Catholic. St kateri has a strong connection there.
Does your wife have legitimate concerns with her reasons. You speak vaguely of enemies, being too close with your family etc.
 
I asked where is the compromise on both sides.
It doesn’t sound like you are any less bullheaded than she is. You both need to give a little.
 
Yes we’ll I’ve no reason to make this stuff up. I don’t what your background is sir but walking the streets since all this terrorist stuff going on in the world and against our country I have experienced it. The only people who were decent to me were the Native Americans up there and a few parishioners at my Church. But everyone else I had little use for up there. It’s strange because here in Arizona people think I’m light complected Mexican, Greek or Sicilian. There I am the enemy.
 
I have experienced it. I know that people there are Catholic, but they are also racist. Unfortunately the two sometimes do go hand in hand. I realize it’s a generalization, and I know that not everyone is, but racism most certainly does occur at a higher degree than other places I have lived. That includes the southern US.
 
Thank you. Like I have said I’m not even really that dark compared to other. I’m a golden olive with green eyes. But not a ghost white like most of the Finnish up there. I could never imagine being a Black person up there.
 
We are Latinos so yes, I understand. My husband was working on a farm and I was babysitting. We didn’t stay there long. It wasn’t worth the problems to us. We were perfectly capable of finding work elsewhere and felt safer doing that. Not long after we returned to Alabama my husband joined the Army. We have since lived in many places, but none were as racist as that town in Michigan. So yes, I know what you mean.
 
13pollitos did you know in a recent study in most areas of America upper peninsula of Michigan was in the top 5? A fact. This was a national study. Not a local one. Horrible. Because it is a very scenic and beautiful area. You are right when you hint that most people will deny it when asked about it.
 
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